10 days more

8

GOOD is not a thing you are. It´s a thing you DO. (x)

Your Move

The nine times Simon and Baz prank each other and the one time they don’t

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Epilogue

April 1

Simon

I find the letter at the foot of my bed when I wake up.

 

Simon,

 

I don’t know exactly how to say this

I’ve been sitting here staring at the blank page for ten minutes

Why did you have to be the Mage’s Heir?

I wish this didn’t have to be so hard to say

Crowley, this is ridiculous

We’ve lived together all this time and

Bet you thought I hated you

I don’t hate you

I can’t even explain what I

Why did we have to be enemies?

Fuck it.

 

I love you Simon Snow.

 

Baz

He finds me outside the dining hall, and when he storms towards me I see the letter in his hand. I brace myself.

Simon

“When did you even write this?” I begin.

           Baz looks taken aback.  “What does that have to do with anything?”

           “And why did you have to write it today?”

           “It’s April Fool’s Day, Snow,” he tells me, “or did you forget already?”

           “That’s just it,” I say, my voice getting louder. “Why would you write something like this on a day where it could be a prank?”

           “For exactly that reason.”

           “Well, what am I supposed to think?”

           He gives me a look.  “Think whatever you want, Snow,” he shrugs, “I’ve made my move, just focus on making yours.”

           I glare up at him a second longer.  His eyes are gray and deep and almost sad.

           His mouth is right there, and his lips look soft like his hair.

           I wonder if he’s noticed where I’m looking.

Baz

I wonder if he’ll reach up…

           Or if I’ll have to reach down…

           Or if I’m even brave enough…

Simon

I’m not brave enough.

           I step back while I still can, before I’ve been staring at his mouth too long or before one of us closes the distance.

           I wish I had some sort of parting phrase, something more eloquent than “fuck you”, but I don’t.

           So I turn and walk away, feeling his eyes bore into my back, feeling that same magnetic tension I’d felt when I’d left him to cry away his own nightmares.

           I wait until I’m around the corner before I start running.

Baz

Maybe a love letter is a lame April Fool’s Day prank, but when else am I supposed to tell him? When else would he take it with a grain of salt?

           Except he didn’t take it with a grain of salt, even today.

           I hope it makes him hate me.  I hope he burns it in front of me.  I hope he makes me burn it with my own fire.

           I wish he would just break my heart and leave it at that.

           Because the only thing worse than knowing he hates me is not knowing.

Simon

I could have kissed him.

           I wanted to kiss him.

           Why?

           I’m outside when I run out of breath and I lean against an ivy-covered wall before pulling my phone out of my pocket and dialing Penny’s number.

           “Hello?”

           “Penny?”

           “Hey Simon, what’s up?”

           I squeeze my eyes shut.  “You’ve got to help me.”

           “Why, what’s wrong?”

           “I…”

           “What?”

           “I almost kissed Baz.”

Penelope

I find Simon sitting on the ground against a wall, and the grass is wet but I join him anyway and wait for him to speak.

           “What’s wrong with me, Penny?”

           I shoot him a look.  “Nothing’s wrong with you, Simon,” I assure him, “you’re just scared.”

           “Baz hates me.”

           I don’t answer.

           “And I hate him, right?”

           “If you have to ask me, then you probably don’t.”

           “But I must,” he insists, “I always have.”

           “Things change.”

           “Not this.”

           “Where is this even coming from?” I ask.  He hands me a folded slip of paper.  A letter, and even though it’s not signed, it’s clear who wrote it.  

           “It was on my bed this morning.”

           “You do realize this is probably a prank, right?”

           “But that’s just it,” he sits forward urgently, “I can’t tell.”

           “Simon,” I tell him firmly, “if he does feel this way, then what better day to tell you than on a day you might not realize it’s true?”

           “But why wouldn’t he want me to realize?”

           “Oh, I don’t know,” I scoff, “maybe because you’ve been mortal enemies your whole life and he’s supposed to kill you and it would be bad enough if he thought you hated him but even worse if you didn’t?”

           He doesn’t respond, weighing the possibility in his mind.

           “Quick question.”

           “What?”

           “Who almost kissed whom?”

           He shakes his head.  “I’m not really sure anymore.”

           “Did you want to kiss him?”

           It’s a long moment before he gives the slightest of nods.  “Why would I want that, Penny?”

           I put a hand on his knee.  “Oh, Si,” I murmur sympathetically, “you know why.”

Baz

I only go to the room for a minute after lunch to grab a jacket, but when I get there, there’s a note on my bed.

Baz,

 

I love you too.

 

Simon

Of course I do.  How could I have doubted for a second that I did?

Baz

I avoid him for the rest of the day, spending most of it wandering the catacombs and when that gets boring, the Wavering Wood.  I climb to the top of the highest tree I can find and close my eyes, trying to remember how it felt yesterday.

           I don’t know if I should be reading into the note or not, but that’s probably my own fault.  I did it to him, so he did it to me, all on the one day of the year dedicated to practical jokes.

           Yet neither of us have actually said April Fool’s.

           I wait as long as I can to return to our room for the night, and by then it’s dark already.  Simon doesn’t appear to have come up yet, but the window is open, so he must have been here since I found his note.

           As I stare at the window, something dark and long swoops through the outside air lazily.

           I venture closer, and it swings by again, but this time I see what it is.  A dragon’s tail.

           Part of me wants to yank it hard and send him tumbling (his wings would save him anyway, no harm done), but I just poke my head out the window and find Simon on the roof, his tail dangling over the edge.

           “What in Merlin’s name are you doing up there?”

           “Turns out I like high places,” he replies without looking at me.  I should go back inside (I don’t have anything else to say), but the sky is clear tonight and the moon is hitting his curls in a new way and I could study them for hours.

           “What are you looking at?” he asks when he catches me staring.

           I shake myself out of my trance.  “Nothing,” I say, ducking to retreat back in.

           “You should come up.”

           “What?”

           “Up here, it’s a great view.”

           “I can see just fine from here, Snow.”

           “Yeah, but…” he trails off, still gazing out over the grounds, “I wanted to talk to you about something.”

           “You can come down if you want to talk to me.”

           “Where’s the fun in that?”  He shoots me a shy smile like he’s not sure if it’s allowed. “Seriously, just get out here.”

           I peer over the windowsill to the moat.  “I’ll fall.”

           “No you won’t,” Simon scoffs, “I’ve seen you climb.”

           “And I fell.”

           “I’d catch you.”

           He won’t look at me again but I can tell he’s not going to take no for an answer.

           I look anywhere but down or at him as I scramble over the sill and up onto the roof, not taking the offered hand but not slapping it away either as I might have done yesterday.

           One almost-kiss and you’d think the world was turned upside-down.

           Well, two almost-kisses.

           I settle into place beside him, anchoring my feet so I won’t slide down the angled roof.  It’s really not the most comfortable position, and the night air is colder up here, but now that I’m here I can see what he was talking about.  The Wood is like a quilt draped over the land and the hills roll like waves into the distance.  “Not a bad view,” I concede.

           “Told you.”

           “It would be a shame if I were to push you off the roof right now.”

           “You won’t.”

           “You sure?”

           “Yes.”

           “Why?”

           “You just won’t.”

           I should, just to prove him wrong. Yesterday I might have.

           “Baz?”

           “Yes?”

           “Why haven’t we teamed up before?”

           I give a dark laugh.  “It might have something to do with being mortal enemies.”

           “Is that what we are?”

           “Well, it’s no secret that the Old Families want me to kill you.”

           “So why haven’t you?”

           “Are you getting impatient, Snow?”

           “You’ve had every opportunity, but even the times that you have legitimately tried, you’ve ended up saving me.”

           “I’ll make a note to stop doing that.”

           “Please don’t.”

           “I doubt we’d make a very good team, Snow,” I chuckle quietly.

           He looks genuinely curious.  “Why not?”

           “I think there has to be a certain level of trust in a team.”

           “I trust you.”

           I raise an incredulous eyebrow at him.  “I sold you out to a goblin yesterday, and now you trust me?”

           “It seems that way.”

           “Maybe that’s the reason we wouldn’t make a good team, because of your horrible decision-making skills.”

           Simon just laughs.  “You weren’t actually trying to kill me, and besides, look how it turned out.”

           My mind jumps straight to the almost-kiss at the top of the tree and I’m suddenly grateful for the darkness hiding my blush. “What do you mean?”

           “You killing that goblin,” he practically gushes, “that was incredible!”

           I shrug.  “Goblins are stupid, it wasn’t exactly difficult.”

           “Exactly. Imagine if we’d teamed up years ago, the Insidious Humdrum would be long gone by now.”

           “How boring our lives would be.”

           “We wouldn’t have to be enemies.”

           I look down at my legs.  “We’d still have to be enemies.”

           “We could be unlikely friends.”

           “No we couldn’t.”

           He glances at me carefully.  “Maybe not,” he agrees after a pause.

           Maybe he could be alright with friends, but I don’t know if I ever could.

           Fuck the Families.  Fuck the Mage.  Fuck the roles we’ve been given and the parts we have to play.  Fuck it all.  I just want you, Simon Snow.

           “Baz?”

           “Hm?”

           “Why did you have to write that letter today?”

           I don’t know if I’m shivering from the cold or the question, or both.  “I’ve already told you why.”

           “Why couldn’t you have written it tomorrow?”

           I cast him a sideways glance.  “You know that April Fool’s Day isn’t the one designated day of the year that I’m able to lie to you, right?  Saying it any other day wouldn’t make it true.”

           “If it were true,” he says slowly, “today would be the perfect day to say it without the risk of being taken seriously, right?”

           I shrug carefully.  “I suppose.”

           “Baz?”

           “What?”

           He looks me right in the eye.  “Did you mean it?”

           I hold his gaze.  “Why are you expecting the truth?”

           “Because I trust you.”

           “That’s right, I’d forgotten.”

           He waits expectantly.

           “It doesn’t matter what I say,” I sigh, “you won’t believe me.”  It’s the grave I’ve dug myself.

           “Baz?”

           I don’t answer, just meet his eyes.

           “Did you ever consider,” he murmurs, “even for a moment, the possibility that your letter would mean something to me?”

           I don’t speak, I can’t.

           “Or that maybe my note wasn’t a prank?”

           I gulp.  “The thought crossed my mind, but it was too ridiculous to entertain.”

           He shifts fractionally closer but I can already feel the energy start to crackle between us.  “It’s not that ridiculous.”

           “What are you saying?”

           Simon’s eyes are dark like indigo, his hair framed by the moon behind him.  “I think…”

           I can’t breathe as I wait for him to finish.

Simon

I don’t know if I can say it.  Writing it down is one thing, but saying it face-to-face, and this close…

           Baz’s eyes are silver, illuminated by the moon behind me.

 

Baz

“Do you know why I woke you from the nightmares?” he says suddenly, and I want to slap him for changing the subject.  (And then kiss his cheek.)  (And then kiss his mouth.)

           “Because I was keeping you from your beauty rest?”

           “Because you were scared, and… it hurt me to see you hurting like that.”

           He won’t look at me again, and I want to take his chin in my hand and make him meet my eye, but I stay still and wait.

           “When you had the nightmares,” he eventually continues, “you didn’t just say no a lot.”

           I already know where this is going.  “What else did I say?”

           “My name.  Simon.”

           Figures.  “I was afraid of that,” I nod.

           “Can I ask what you were dreaming about?”

           It takes a long time for me to answer.  “I had to kill you.”

           “And did you?”

           Just the thought brings tears to my eyes.

           “You don’t have to…”

           “Yes.  I did.” He’s silent as I take a ragged breath. “That’s why it’s my worst nightmare. I know I’ve been told all my life that I have to kill you, but if it ever really came to it, I want to think that I’d be brave enough to refuse.  But in my nightmares, I always give in.  Sometimes you kill me at the same time, and then at least I know I won’t have to carry on living in a world without you…”

“After I woke you,” he says a minute later, his voice getting quieter and quieter, “I hated myself for what I’d done to you.  I wanted to comfort you, to hold you until you fell asleep again, but I was too afraid.  When I walked away, it was like someone was ripping a piece out of me, and then I hated myself even more.  I thought the feeling would go away, but it didn’t.”  He looks me in the eye, and he looks terrified.  “It still hasn’t.”

He’s only inches away.  There’s tears in his eyes to match mine.  

“I think…” Simon moves even closer, “I think I meant what I wrote.”

My heart goes quiet, but I’ve never felt more alive.

“I know,” I whisper, “that I meant what I wrote.”

It’s taking everything in me right now not to fall against him.

I don’t miss his eyes as they flicker to my mouth and back up. When he speaks it’s less than a breath. “May I…”

“Please.”

He takes a handful of my shirt and pulls me down to him.

Simon

Baz tastes like citrus and wood smoke and I’m immediately lost in the scent.  His mouth is softer than I could have imagined and I want to be gentle, to move slowly, but I can’t stop myself from opening his mouth with mine.  I feel his sigh vibrate against my chin as I deepen the kiss and oh, it’s not enough.  I want to hear every sound he has, to explore every inch of him, to stay here forever discovering.  I know right now that I’ll never get enough.

Baz

Simon kisses me like he’s starving, like he can’t get enough, yet he’s gentle.  His mouth is slow and deep, and my hand is in his curls before I even know what I’m doing, angling his head and moving slow, like we have nothing but time.  The tears are spilling over from my eyes and I can feel the moisture of his own tears on his cheeks, but we’re both kissing through our grins, giddy and desperate for more.

Simon

Breaking away from him is like pulling the plug on life support, but he stays no more than a breath away.

“Are you shaking?” I whisper.

“It’s cold up here, Simon,” he murmurs back.  “Not everyone has an internal furnace like you apparently do.”

I grin and wrap my wings around the two of us.  “Call me that again.”

He presses a gentle kiss to my mouth.  “Simon,” he breathes, and I can’t stop myself from pulling him in again.

Baz keeps whispering my name between kisses, and I keep falling more and more in love with him.

4

D.Gray-Man Week || Day 4: By Your Side
↳ Favourite Noah - Wisely Kamelot

2

she had the world || panic! at the disco

in all honesty, im super excited for season 3, especially sharing the experience with the fandom and my friends. when s2 came out the vibe and atmosphere was really nice, everyone hype-screaming & bonding over the show. it felt real nice to see the fandom happy and joking and im super pumped to go through it again during this season and more to come

 so some fun facts about working in carpentry (from someone in the field) that probably no one wants but could be fun for writing about julia and mags with:

  • it is so so important to maintain a positive relationship with your clients and that’s probably why mags is so proud of his rustic hospitality and wants to use it at every corner because your relationships and reputation is half the job
  • for one you get returning clients and tends to be the best and most reliable source of income and you also usually will end up getting gifts from them too which is, sweet
  • if they’re doing pretty well off during a year i’m almost certain that they offer discounts for their services for the poorer members of raven’s roost, mangus in particular has a “doggy discount” that if they own a dog and they let it work with him they get a good discount
  • both of them (+plus stephen) are probably ambidextrous to a degree as when working on repeat projects, you tend to get really tired and sore and continue working until that arm gives out and then switch to the other to be able to continue working
  • going with that, you get paid by commission or project usually and so hypothetically you could pick up as many as possible (or as many as the union will allow) and probably will do that a couple times and you could literally blow out your entire body but be set for the year in a couple weeks
  • going with the stress on the body, the physical labor definitely means that they have bad knees and probably a bad arm as well not to mention if there is a lot of heavy lifting you can get multiple hairpin fractures along your spine and legs causing intense pain that cannot be treated 
  • also if they’re working with saws (which i’m pretty sure trav did say were in the pocket workshop) then i have no idea why mags reacted so badly to losing a finger because everyone i have ever worked with has or has almost cut off their finger once a week
  • also you get a very high tolerance for pain (which probably helps mags as being a sword for hirer)  like i have literally sliced my entire forearm open and just wrapped it up and continued working
  • since raven’s roost has a carpentry district, that most likely means that they have a lumber sister town that provides all of the resources
  • and again, going with the importance of rustic hospitality, if you’re friends with the lumber providers then you will get first pick on the quality wood and quality literally will save you days of work
  • if there’s a bad harvest one year then it will fucking suck because people don’t stop needing furniture or buildings and you as the carpenter have to pick up the slack for the shitty warped wood and most projects will take about double the time
  • woodworking is a skill trade and has to be learned over years so most likely by the time mags came along julia was already extremely skilled and is able to do commissions and bids on her own and has her own reputation in ravens roost (which…tbh mags could have very well apprenticed under her) 
  • it is extremely hard to go from apprenticing one carpenter to another because even the basics get muddled with your own style to the point where most people measure in different ways and cutting something wrong (especially cutting it short) will waste so much material thus mags being brand new to apprenticing under stephen probably takes years while jules just laughs each time he fucks up a leg of a chair
Dear Voltage

But at the same time bring me more!