A/N: For @thealbersclan who requested this prompt from @imaginexhobbit ! Sorry it took me a while, I’ve been alternately busy and completely unwilling to write (*winces*). But here it is, at last! I hope you enjoy it! It was a lot of fun to write once I got around to it.
Summary: Fili and Kili have been fighting over you since the journey began, and Thorin’s had just about enough of their nonsense.
Word count: 1,371
Warnings: Brief mentions of those giant spiders, spider bites
The argument had been going on for months now. Ever since you’d joined Thorin Oakenshield’s Company just outside of the Shire, his exuberant nephews had been sending taunts back and forth, each sure that the other was wrong.
“She couldn’t possibly like you better,” Kili called to his brother. “She prefers those with darker hair, such as my own.”
Fili snorted. “But she also prefers thicker facial hair, which you,” he poked his brother in the chest, “have yet to show any evidence of.”
“You go too far!” Kili shouted. “Just because my beard is a bit slow doesn’t mean it won’t be full and luscious when it does grow in!”
“I think you mean if,” Fili said calmly.
“If,” Fili continued, staring blankly ahead, “your beard grows in.”