1. that fili and kili are his nephews

Contrary Durins

A/N: For @thealbersclan​ who requested this prompt from @imaginexhobbit​ ! Sorry it took me a while, I’ve been alternately busy and completely unwilling to write (*winces*). But here it is, at last! I hope you enjoy it! It was a lot of fun to write once I got around to it.

Summary: Fili and Kili have been fighting over you since the journey began, and Thorin’s had just about enough of their nonsense.

Word count: 1,371

Warnings: Brief mentions of those giant spiders, spider bites


The argument had been going on for months now. Ever since you’d joined Thorin Oakenshield’s Company just outside of the Shire, his exuberant nephews had been sending taunts back and forth, each sure that the other was wrong.

“She couldn’t possibly like you better,” Kili called to his brother. “She prefers those with darker hair, such as my own.”

Fili snorted. “But she also prefers thicker facial hair, which you,” he poked his brother in the chest, “have yet to show any evidence of.”

“You go too far!” Kili shouted. “Just because my beard is a bit slow doesn’t mean it won’t be full and luscious when it does grow in!”

“I think you mean if,” Fili said calmly.

“What?”

If,” Fili continued, staring blankly ahead, “your beard grows in.”

“Why you cotton-headed”—

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Skilled

Originally posted by jorujam

Fandom: The Hobbit
Pairings: Fili x (human)reader x Kili, Thorin x (human)reader
Genres: mild angst, humor, mild fluff, embarrassment 
Words: 1.495
Request: Anonymous: hiii. i wanted to ask if you could pretty please write a funny/awkward story for this imagine: “Imagine being lost in the woods and running into Kili and Fili, where in a startled panic, the three of you battle it out, but you win and when Thorin finds out he is embarrassed that his two nephews lost to a human

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