04x21: wonderful

Wonderful

You said I was wonderful.
I find it a little surprising to hear you said this about me to another because you see like they told us as kids: actions speak louder than words.

Your actions weren’t wonderful.
They tell a different story, one of abandonment and hurt and pain and fear and questioning my worth.

Dirt.

It’s something you kick off your shoes something you don’t choose to stick around and that’s what I was to you.

“Wonderful.”

If this is the way you treat wonderful I’m left wondering what you do when you don’t think that of something. I’d ask but your words are full of wonder and by that I mean Wonder like imagination like fairy tales and expectation like Santa Claus and bedtime stories all in your head. And once you’ve read, you realize it’s untrue. Like the words that come from you.

Truly wonderful.

Well I’ve learned real Wonder. I’ve learned peace and love and worth hidden in the smallest thing and I know Wonder when I think of how the Saints of which I sing lived their lives in hope of future promises, not lies, like yours.

And I know who I am without you.

And that is wonderful.

Sometimes I forget exactly how much I love NCT but then I see a picture of them smiling and having fun and I-I get so soft… Like??? They’re such precious nerds and seeing them happy brings me so much warmth and joy and just– goodness how I do adore them and their silly antics

A reading portrait of an Afghan lady as photographed by Steve McCurry.

I find this beautiful. At first, there’s this simple girl holding something to read, but at a closer look you’ll see her hands are chalked. This photograph of a woman is an epitome of a person’s perseverance to learn, that is unbridled by any kind of hurdles.

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