Was this film not savaged by Malaysian censors? Have the Russians not forbidden any child from bearing witness? Did a theater in Alabama not go full Footloose?
A man goes into a live-action Beauty And The Beast with a certain set of expectations, one of those being a completely flaming gay tryst featuring Josh Gad and a chorus line of semen-soaked villagers. Instead, and do brace yourself for some fearsome spoilers, I had Josh Gad dancing in courtly fashion with another man for literally three seconds of screen time just as the end credits begin to roll. That was the gay? That was homosexual? My word, I’ve had gayer times at the county fair with a corn dog. Every single time a straight dude showers at the gym, he’s about 3,000 gay leagues deeper in the gay sea than this. You’re gayer by proxy just driving by a highway rest stop.
I too am outraged by the gayness in Disney’s Beauty And The Beast, because there is none. There’s a man who, if you read into the less-than-subtle subtext of the film, is quite possibly homosexual, but who commits about as many homosexual acts as the clock does.