.wad

It’s 5:30 am and I’m still trying to fall asleep but I realized that if Steven Universe was on when I was a kid then I would get to be the Garnet of my friends because I always got to be the tall one

I can see Little Isa wearing sunglasses and punching the other kids so vividly that I’m not entirely sure it didn’t actually happen

I would have made such a good play-pretend Square Mom

I hope some awkwardly tall little girl is out there right now doing me proud

7

I have struggled with my body image and vicious eating disorder as long as i can remember, from over eating binge eating when i wad around 5 on to prevent the sexual abuse I was enduring, it became an addiction instantly i thought if i gain weight this person will leave me alone and nobody will touch me ever again. It ultimately made the abuse both worse in the situation and against myself. I drank for the first time at 12 and i would drink constantly I would ditch school pretty much every day to drink which also was damaging to my body, i started self harming from burning my legs with cigarettes to slicing my skin in any way possible i was slowly dying. the first photo at my biggest I was around 17 and things flipped on me with my eating disorder as well, i had people bullying me horribly for my weight and the bullying got physical there wasnt a day i felt safe and i needed it to stop instantly not in a safe weight loss aspect by any means i allowed their words to taunt me so horrible i started working out for at the least 6 hours a day no matter what time i was hardly eating when i did i was purging, the self harm didnt stop there i proceeded to cut and burn as if it were apart of a daily schedule. Im 23 now and Im getting mental and physical health in gear although i see the progress ive yet to feel it. Words and situations from my past still taunt me and i find it hard to at times be kind to myself but i am learning. my life was ruined by those who hurt me and now I refuse with every fiber of my being to give in Please be kind to people please know the way you treat each other it matters the words you say to people do linger choose your words wisely whether you’re speaking on someone who is famous or a random stranger your voice matters and you can ultimately make someone end their lives or find the courage to push through it. Saying someone looks better thin or stating your bullshit opinion about someones body can lead others to DEADLY behavior. Eating disorders are real and they kill millions, dont be that person who puts that venom in society that fuels the pain. Be the revolution.

From now on whenever I play a new megawad I’m going to be terrified it’ll turn into another Resurgence during the later levels. That wad has ruined my fucking dooming life.

NEXUS1.WAD, map01 (612.000, -18.000, 72.000)
Author: Jim Jankowski and John Jankowski
Date: 08/11/95
Description:
Deathmatch level the perfect size so you don’t get killed as soon as you warp in but small enough to get alot of frags.

Honestly, the one thing I’m mystified by is why, what appears to be an upper middle class family in 1999 had their “vacation money” locked in the dad’s desk. Debit cards were in full, common use by then and even if you had a somewhat larger pile of cash (I usually have around $500 for tips, cash only items, etc), it wouldn’t have been your entire vacation wad.

Not to mention, how did Lily know to break into his desk, etc? Guess A&E stole plots from TWO 1950′s soap operas last night!

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