harry’s scream in midnight memories 08.27.15

i love my cat more than anything but no!!!!! dont bring me dead animals!!! it doesnt mean what u think it does its not a gift!!!! thank u but no thank u!!!!

“You need to man up, Peralta!”

“Woah, hey, seriously Santiago? Was the gendered expression really necessary? Like you could’ve been gender neutral and still conveyed the same message -”

“Jake, focus!”

repost with the information of your muse, including headcanons, etc. If you fail to achieve some of the facts, add some other of your own! When you’re done, tag 15 other people to do the same!

tagged by: liikkua

» NAME:  Clinton Francis “Clint” Barton
» AGE:  Varies depending on verse; in his main verse he’s 33
» BIRTHDAY:  June 18th
» SPECIES: he’s a soft, fleshy hooman
» GENDER: Cis Male
» SEX: Male
» ORIENTATION: omnisexual/panromantic
» PROFESSION:  full time fuck up, part time avenger


» HAIR:  ranges from light blond to dirty blond, depending on the season
» EYES:  the bluest blue to ever fucking blue.  soul stealing blue.
» SKIN:  he’s usually p tan until u take his pants off, boys got the whitest booty around
» HEIGHT: 6′1″
» WEIGHT:  i.. i dunno


» SIBLINGS:  Charles Bernard “Barney” Barton ( ex-deceased )
» PARENTS:   Edith and Harold Barton ( deceased )
» OTHER RELATIVES:  Barbara “Bobbi” Morse ( ex wife )
» ANY PETS?:  one lovable stray named Lucky, and a few stray kitties that he’s gotten into the habit of naming and leaving food out on his fire escape for


» PHYSICAL PROWESS:  Clint is deadly without a bow and arrow or gun and this isn’t to be taken lightly, if he wants to or feels the need, he can get the fuck away unless you’re like.. the hulk.  or have RIDICULOUS strength.
» ABILITIES:  master marksman– and for the final fucking time ( probs not i’ll say it til i die ), clint barton is THE BEST marksman on earth.  yes buck is good, yes natasha is good, but clint has literally been doing this since he was nine. fucking NINE.  he stopped missing his target after a fucking m o n t h.  i don’t care if you think you are better than him, you are not.  expert tactician, expert in espionage, expert liar ( he’s a fucking spy, he’s an expert at a lot of things )
» HOBBIES:  creating/designing/building arrows ( and the occasional bow ), smoking, drinking, sleeping, being a piece of trash in general



+ would do anything to protect those he considers close to him

+ resilient, the little shit has been through a lot, including death, and he always comes back on top ( more or less )

+ is generally very kind, even to enemies and strangers when he really doesn’t need to be


- Clint is bipolar and while this technically can’t be considered positive or negative ( he can’t fucking HELP it ), he’s manic stages are BAD and he skips medication, so yes, it is a negative in the aspect that he is stubborn and refuses to seek help

- he is an ALCOHOLIC and an addict in general

- he pushes people away, especially those who are actively trying to get close for wholly good reasons

- bonus:  clint is basically driven by MONEY.  there are very few people he would sell out for money and that aspect of him was drilled into him as a kid.  he’s a HUGE gray-area, clint is neither a good guy or a bad guy, he just tends to side more with one or the other depending on what’s in it for HIM; he’s fucking s e l f i s h


» COLOURS:  pURPLE.  black, gray,
» SMELLS:  rain, freshly brewed coffee, cinnamon
» DRINKS:  coffee ( literally any kind just give him all the coffee )
» ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES?:  whiskey ( jack daniel’s, jim beam, fireball cinnamon whiskey ), vodka ( smirnoff, samogon ), jägermeister, everclear, moonshine ( cherry, blackberry, apple pie, peach ), i could go on but i think you get the gist that he is a fucking alcoholic, he’d drink booze brewed in a fucking toiled


» SMOKES?  yes– marlboro menthol 72 shorts, most american spirits
» DRUGS?:  yes– off and on, mostly just pain killers and he’ll occasional spend on a gram and have it last for a p long time, he was more of a coke/ecstasy/acid ( most UPPERS ) user as a teenager, though if it’s there and he’s had a bad day/in that kind of mood, he’d probably stoop that low
» DRIVER LICENSE?:  yes, multiple– he has one from every state, as well as one for russia, germany, and great britain
» EVER BEEN ARRESTED?  multiple times, ranging from petty theft to being brought in as a suspect for murder

DONE! Tagging:  captainspangly, holyshellheadbatman, asgardianhammer, soldierofice, ireallycannotsee, peppermademeablog, bvchxnxn, towardofflove, backoffbub aaaand anyone else who wants to do it tbh idc