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The Plague of Iscariot, Chapter 12

This fic is rated M for Mature
This fic is set in an alternate universe where vampires exist.

Being a vampire sucked.
And no, that wasn’t a fun pun or silly little joke. Being a vampire literally sucked; especially if you’re turned at a young age.
Turned in the year 1800, Dipper Pines has walked amongst mortals for over 200 years as an awkward sixteen year old. Alone and embittered, he found no reason to get involved in human affairs, preferring a solitary existence.
Until now.

Various Quotes from Out Pathfinder Game

I didn’t want to spam (well, spam anymore), so here’s a collection of our three-year-long-campaign party’s OOC best. Presented mostly without context, all of these were made by a variety of all of the players in the game, including myself (I’m the Human Sorcerer, in case anybody is wondering). 

Half Orc Fighter: *does 42 damage with an axe* “Also, last time we spoke, I forgot to AXE you a question!”

DM: If I’d known it would take Star Trek to unify the party, I would have introduced it in session one!

Sorcerer: So do we sail the ship now?“

DM: No! Everyone’s confused, everyone dies!

Party: *Kills undead (again)*

Half Orc Fighter: Well i guess we made no BONES about that. 

DM: You try to say that but you just cough up blood

Player: I don’t think dinosaurs CAN swim, can they?

DM: The dinosaur has a +8 to swim, actually

Elven Bard: Sometimes you best you can do with a spell is protect allies,

Human Sorcerer: And Sometimes you need to Dimension Door the f*** out

Human Sorcerer: I’m going to roll Intimidate*…. [Elf Bard], I hope that’s a laugh of happiness.

   * I have a +10 on intimdiate ffs. 

Half Orc Fighter: Can i give [Human Rogue] a potion of You’re An Idiot?”

DM: to MAKE him an idiot, or to give intelligence?

Half Orc Fighter: To make him aware he’s an idiot!

Human Rogue: I’m sorry; there is no magic strong enough to make Dirk aware of his own idiocy.

Half Orc Fighter: I’m gonna smash the door open.

DM: What?! It has a doorknob!

Half Orc Fighter: …I’m gonna smash the door open.

Human Rogue: *Is under fear effect*

Human Sorcerer: *Gets a crit, does 70 dmg with one spell, and marches over to rogue* GET. UP.

DM: Gives him a Will ave Roll just for that. 

Human Rogue: *passes, loses fear effect*

And last but not least… 

Things the party should probably try to forget less: We have an enchanted stone griffon that turns into a real one when you say it’s name and would’ve been very useful to remember this entire goddamn three year long campaign. 1

  • Shiro: *leaning up against black while reading *
  • Keith * walks by and kisses Shiros head* Quit Lion around, baby.
  • Shiro: * chuckles *I love you, baby. I'm not lion.
  • Both: * Snickers *

replace a word in a musical with the word “meme” 

  • les memeserables  
  • the phantom of the memes 
  • memes: a pop opera 
  • kinky memes 
  • the last five memes 
  • a chorus meme 
  • a gentleman’s guide to love and memes 
  • a meme in paris 
  • fun memes 
  • next to memes 
  • dogmemes 
  • rodgers and hammerstein’s: memes 
  • finding memes 
  • hedwig and the angry memes 
  • the book of memes 
  • into the memes 
  • memes never die 
  • miss memes 
  • memes awakening
  • west side memes 
  • the memes and i

anonymous asked:

So I was just writing something about Radcliffe and I accidently typed Fadcliffe and now I can't stop laughing rip me

radcliffe hops on a band wagon - fadcliffe

radcliffe adopts some kids - dadcliffe

radcliffe does something evil - badcliffe

radcliffe doesn’t get what he wants - sadcliffe

radcliffe is angry with someone - madcliffe

radcliffe was once a young boy - ladcliffe