.i deny that i have a situation

anonymous asked:

i know you meant well when you said 30 isnt ancient, but im nb so my life expectancy is actually 30 :(

Hey anon, I’m so sorry that that’s a fear you’ve had to live with. I know that trans people are at greater risk of violence and suicide, and I’ve heard people say many times that the life expectancy of trans people (or trans women, or trans women of color, depending on who you ask) is anywhere from 23 to 35. Your ask troubled me, so I’ve dug deep looking for solid evidence of any of these, and I don’t believe that these statistics are true.

A trans woman, Helen, looked into the “23 years” claim and traced it back to someone’s notes on two workshops at a 2007 conference, which stated that trans people’s life expectancy is “believed to be around 23” (emphasis mine) but cites no actual source. This claim has been presented as fact in many news articles since then, but as far as I can tell, no one seems to know where this figure came from.

Another claim is often sourced to an Argentine psychologist quoted in this NPR article

Psychologist Graciela Balestra, who works closely with the transgender community, says it’s an especially vulnerable population.

“Transgender people have an average life expectancy of about 30 to 32 years,” Balestra says. “They don’t live any longer; I think that statistic alone says so much.”

But again, the article gives no source for this figure

I found an article claiming that a 2014 report by the Inter-American Commission on Human Rights (IACHR) “concludes the average life expectancy of trans people in the Western Hemisphere is between 30-35 years.” However, when I tracked down the report, An Overview of Violence Against LGBTI Persons (pdf), its only reference to this is (emphasis mine): “[T]he IACHR has received information that the life expectancy of trans women in the Americas is between 30 and 35 years of age.” Again, this is no source.

Someone said on my post that these statistics may have come from the NCTE/NGLTF report Injustice at Every Turn (pdf), but I can’t find any reference to any such claim in the report.

Thinking about these claims, they seem unlikely for some basic reasons. Consider that we simply don’t have a long enough span of data on trans people, and that what data we do have is extremely limited because we can’t always know who is trans and who isn’t. Consider also that, although obviously the murder rates for trans people are extremely high, the number of deaths of 20-something trans people would have to be ENORMOUS to offset the existence of older trans people and bring the average down to 30. Especially since, unlike with racial groups for example, the data on trans people would likely include almost no childhood deaths, simply because it would be much more difficult (and in many cases impossible) to identify these children as trans. And since we know that trans women of color are extremely disproportionately affected by violence, statistics that include white people and/or trans men would be especially unlikely to be so low.

And as to your specific situation anon, again given that trans women of color are most at risk, I don’t think we have reason to believe that being non-binary specifically puts a person at anywhere near this level of increased risk of dying young.

I don’t say any of this to question anyone’s experiences or to deny the state of emergency that trans women face with regard to violence. That is very real. But I think it can be harmful, even dangerous to trans people to spread claims like this around, especially without evidence. Expecting to die by 30 would take an extreme emotional toll on anyone, and trans people deserve better.

But don’t take my word for it: FORGE, a national transgender anti-violence organization that works with trans survivors of sexual assault, wrote the following in its 2016 publication “First Do No Harm: 8 Tips for Addressing Violence Against Transgender and Gender Non-Binary People” (pdf) (I have moved two footnotes into the main text and provided links to some endnote sources; italicized emphasis is theirs while bold is mine.): 

Promote Hope for the Future

It certainly is not the same as a murder, but publicizing a low “life expectancy” rate for transwomen of color is another way to steal away their future, a “crime” that has been committed repeatedly by trans, LGBQ, and mainstream press. Think about the people you know or have heard of who have been diagnosed with a fatal illness and given a short time to live: how many of them have enrolled in college, undertaken lengthy training for a new occupation, had a new child, or tried to establish a new non-profit? A few do, certainly, but many more focus on their bucket list, arrange for their good-byes, or simply give up entirely, essentially relinquishing whatever time they have left to depression and regrets. When we tell transwomen of color they cannot expect to live very long, we rob them of hope. We rob them of any motivation to invest in themselves, their relationships, and their communities. We rob them, in short, of their lives even while they are still living. (This statement in no way negates the need to systemically work to improve and increase the life expectancy of trans people through working to end transphobia, racism, poverty, pervasive violence, and health and healthcare inequities, and more.)

One trans woman of color was trying to come to grips with an estimated lifespan figure more than ten years shorter than the one that has been published most often. (We are not repeating any of the (incorrect) estimated lifetime figures that are circulating, to avoid even inadvertent reinforcement.) Faced with the report of yet another attack on another trans woman, she wrote:

These days, I look at the latest reports of stabbed, shot, beaten trans women, search myself for tears, and I cannot find a thing. I want to mourn and rage. I want to honor all of our sisters — the hundreds each year who are ripped, namelessly and without fanfare, from this life — who are taken so young before their time. But the grief and anger — even empathy — do not come. I don’t feel anything but numbness and fatigue, and somewhere far below that, fear.

The terrible irony of the life expectancy “fact” is that it is based on an impossibility. The only ways to determine a given population’s life expectancy are to: examine decades or more of death certificates or census data containing the information being studied, or follow a specific set of individuals for around 100 years and record every single death. There is not and never has been a census of transgender people. Our death certificates do not mark us as transgender. There has been no 100-year-long study of a representative group of trans people. So where are the estimated lifespan figures coming from?

FORGE tracked the most commonly-cited figure back to what was most likely the 2014 Philadelphia Transgender Health Conference, where a workshop presenter gave the figure and explained she had calculated it by averaging the age of death for all of those listed on the Transgender Day of Remembrance (TDOR) website. This means the figure is actually the average age of those trans people who were both murdered and came to the attention of someone who added them to the TDOR list. Interestingly, this average is very close to the average age of everyone who is murdered in the U.S., according to the U.S. Department of Justice statistics. [I’m not seeing an average age given in the cited source but you can see on page 5 of this Bureau of Justice Statistics report (pdf) that the average age of homicide victims in the U.S. was between 30 and 35 from 1980 to 2008.]

But not everyone is murdered.

Despite how many there may appear to be, only a tiny, tiny fraction of transpeople are killed by other people. Most of us, transwomen of color included, live average lifespans and die of the most common U.S. killers — heart disease, cancer, chronic lower respiratory disease, and unintentional injuries (accidents).

Please don’t add to fear and hopelessness by spreading inaccurate and profoundly disempowering data.

Since I can’t respond to everyone directly, I’m @ing some people who’ve brought this up on my post and may be interested: (urls removed after posting for their privacy). I appreciate your thoughtfulness in bringing this to my attention. If you or anyone else has a source on any of these figures that can provide specific methodology, I’d be very grateful to see that.

In closing, here are some resources that provide a more hopeful view of trans aging. They are well known but I hope they will be helpful to someone.

13 Reasons Why characters

Justin Foley: Massive dickhead. Barely redeemable. He has a tragic backstory and a shitty childhood. However, he’s a massive douche, who let a girl get raped and lied to her, he was willing to kill a guy to save his own back and only right near the end did he decide to admit he was in the wrong and even then we don’t see him do anything to actually help the situation. This guy needs some emotional help and needs to start being a much better person and only then would he ever be anywhere near redeemable. 

Jessica Davis: At first I hated her for refusing to listen to her friend but then I realized this is similar to most girl as we are taught to trust our boyfriends more than our friends which sucks. However, she still tried to be nice to Hannah shortly after and a bit of communication could have helped their situation so much. I feel like she’s well and truly suffered enough and didn’t deserve any of the shit that happened to her. Already redeemed.

Alex Standall: As much as guys dont want to admit it and girl would deny it, these lists happen so often its unreal. I’ve seen groups of girls and boys alike make lists ranking others. Its not okay at all but its something that happens so often that it just goes to show how something so simple can be so harmful towards someone. He hurt two girls with this list, Jessica and Hannah. I feel like he is redeemable as he shows the most guilt to the point its shown he’s considering his own suicide. He knows what he did was wrong even if it wasn’t as hefty as some of the other guys. He was redeemed as soon as he admitted what he did was wrong. 

Tyler Down: I don’t get why everyone is up Justin’s ass but hate this kid. They both committed a similar crime. One is a pervy stalker and the other took what was an innocent mishap and made it into something filthy and then distributed it. I hate them both but they are incredibly similar except one is the lonely isolated loser with a camera who was bullied beforehand and the other a popular jock with a bad home life. As far as I’m concerned if one has the possibility to be redeemable then so does the other. I feel like Tyler needs some serious help, the kind that Hannah needed but never got. Except where Hannah killed herself, this guy is going to kill others. I can actually see some parallels between Hannah and Tyler, the only difference one is a creep and deserves at least a years sentence in prison. This kid really isn’t okay mentally and thats shown throughout the series, do I feel sorry for him? No. But, he would be redeemable if he got help and it turns out that he didn’t shoot Alex like many people are speculating. As far as I’m concerned, you cant love Justin and hate this guy as they both did similar crimes except one let his girlfriend get raped. Both are creepy assholes. Also, at least the kid told the parents and people about the fucking tapes and Hannah unlike the other assholes trying to cover it up. 

Courtney Crimson: She annoyed the fuck out of me when she was defending Bryce and trying to call Hannah a liar when it was already established that these tapes are all true. However, after actually taking some consideration into her character I can understand why she was scared and thought what she was doing was right. Yes this is the 21st century and her parents were gay so she must have known she’d be accepted. But its not that simple, she’s probably seen her parents go through shit and heard them say that her parents homosexuality would rub off on her. If she came out she would give the homophobes what they wanted, evidence to back their claim. I don’t agree with her further spreading rumours and defending a rapist. But with some compassion I find her story more redeemable than some of the others. Her character showed just how spiteful females can be towards each other. I feel like if she would just tell the truth, she could have been a redeemable character.

Marcus Cole: I haven’t seen this guy mentioned despite the fact he’s so much worse than both Justin and Tyler. He literally assaulted a girl in broad daylight and got away with it. And then when she dies he shows no remorse and even tries to stop the tapes from being distributed. He is one of the only two absolutely nonredeemable characters because he shows no remorse and only cares about his reputation. Whilst watching this I honestly got the feeling this guy has no compassion or emotions whatsoever and the only reason he didn’t agree with Justin wanting to hurt Clay is because he knew it could cause problems. He was only interested in calculating the best situations for himself and that makes him way worse because even at the end he didn’t think he did anything wrong. 

Zach Dempsey: The ‘nice guy’ mixed in with the wrong crowd. He may actually be a kind and nice guy but his popularity made him feel entitled and when Hannah pushed him away he acted out in revenge. What would have been a petty revenge on its own took away some of a girls last bit of happiness. He obviously had his own problems and confidence issues and what he did wouldn’t have been so bad without the other things that happened.  He’s definitely a redeemable character. 

Ryan Shaver: I don’t feel like he was focused on enough. He’s definitely a prick but he seems to be the only one to outright be like ‘yeah I’m an asshole’. He seems to be the kind to tell the truth and whilst still being a thoroughly unlikable character he does seem to want to do whats right. He know what Bryce did was wrong and he blatantly addresses the fact that Courtney is defending a rapist and is a rape apologist. I didn’t like him because of his lack of emotions however I did appreciate a character with a decent moral compass and I think hes redeemable but needs to take more interest in peoples lives outside of his stupid writing. 

Clay Jensen: Actual sweetheart. Unfortunately, he didn’t see the signs but its shown throughout the series that he helped her feel both better and worse in some of these situations. However, he has nothing to be forgiven for as he technically did nothing wrong except not notice which he tries to make up for with Skye at the end. 

Sheri: I guess she deserves to be forgiven when it comes to Hannah as she was just trying to be nice and after Clay is probably the nicest on this list. However, I feel like she let what others think help her to make decisions that aren’t as forgivable. However, she still deserves a chance at becoming a better person even if she does get put in prison for some time. 

Bryce Walker: Let him burn. That’s all I have to say about this fucker, he is not redeemable at all. Kill it with fire. He has no reason for what he did other than being a giant jackass with money. 

Mr. Trey Porter: Redeemable but a jackass. He’s one of those teachers that doesn’t actually give a shit about the students. The fact he told Hannah just to move on when shes been raped and is physically, verbally and sexually abused almost everyday is sickening and shows you just how good these anti-bullying campaigns actually are when teachers don’t even give a shit. 

I know a few people do not like the show, however I think it was good because it showed plenty variations of mental health, abuse and bullying with out actually addressing them but still showing the consequences. We didn’t just get Hannah’s story we got all the others stories too and it shows how mental health and bullying really can cause a butterfly affect. This show may not have been perfect but it was accurate and important.

EDIT: When I measure how redeemable these characters are, I’m not saying what they did was okay. I’m measuring how forgivable they are or if they do deserve forgiveness at all. This is my opinion obviously, you’re allowed to think differently. 

Kill them with kindness
  • INTJ: how do you manage to always be nice to everyone? don't you ever just wanna punch everyone in the face?
  • INTP: oh, yes, constantly. but then i remember that appearing as someone who's cute, adorable and always kind to everyone arouses protective instincts in your acquaintances, and hence those who behave rudely towards you and hurt your feelings are perceived by everyone else as utter jerks, and get disliked by most. also, the more you are nice to people, the more they will feel bad for mistreating you. y'know, it's a win-win situation. you get to have your revenge on those who hurt you without having to do anything morally wrong.
  • INFP: oh my god, INTP, is that really how you see being nice to others?
  • INTP: INFP, whether you're aware of it or not, this is a fact that can not be ignored. besides, i'm not saying that i am only nice to others for this reason, i do like the idea of brightening other people's days with my kind behavior, but i can't deny that the idea of getting revenge like this kind of delights me.
  • INTJ: can you believe i'd never thought of that? damnit, INTP, i can't believe that i'm saying this, but you actually are pretty smart.
  • INTP: thanks bud, i know i am
  • INFP: i can't believe you two
Falling Deeper

Originally posted by 13reasonssource


Pairing: Justin Foley x Reader

Request: “Hiii LOVE UR BLOG SO FREAKING MUCH IT HURTS❤️❤️, i was wondering if you could write a justin x reader imagine, where the reader and Justin have been friends for a long time and everyone thinks they’re dating but they’re not. Like they would flirt, have inside jokes, feeling for each other(but won’t admit) and one day when Justin asks the reader to crash in her house cuz of Seth they confess their feelings and flufff”

Words: 2.000

A/N: OMG! This my first Justin imagine and I so loved this little nugget too. Thank you for your support and I hope that you like this one too. Thank you so much for your request and, if you want, please don’t hesitate to leave a feedback in my ask box.

- G. x

Warning: (Y/M/N) is Your Mother’s Name, talking of family issues, swearing.


“Am I seeing you tomorrow, Jus?” You confidently asked your best friend as you decided to go directly home after your classes. You were in the hallway, in front of your now-closed locker.

“Of course, pretty.” He winked at you and you let out a loud laugh. He was a great flirt and that was one of the characteristics you loved in Justin.

“Shut up, sweet talker!” You tried to cover the romantic excitement that flowed in your veins and he just hugged you as he knew that you loved it whenever he would compliment you.

“Take care, okay?” He reminded you as you nodded for several times to answer. You hugged him back.

“Just get together already!” Your friend Jessica exclaimed as she got through you and Justin along the hallway. She winked and you saw that Sherie agreed with her. They were surely making their way to the gym for the cheerleading practice.

“But they’re already together.” Zach shouted to the girls as he shut his locker and followed them.

“Idiots!” You shouted as you broke the hug between the two of you. “I’m going now, Mr. Foley.”

“Alright, Mrs. Foley.” You both laughed loudly. He started to call you in that way, because you both had to pretend that you were husband and wife the day before. Some maniacs were trying to hit on you and he came up with that idea, it sucked but you loved it.

“You should take care too, okay? Don’t break a bone during your basketball practice.” You reminded him after you left a quick kiss on his cheek.

“Yes, Mum!” He rolled his eyes and gave you a kiss on your temple. With that kiss, you felt protected and it felt that Justin was with you, even though he’s not walking you home that day.

“Go on or you’ll be late.” You smiled at him as you both went in separated ways.

“Text me as soon as you get home, okay?” He walked in backwards as he wanted to see if you were already walking away.

“Yes, sir!” You huffed as you wanted to stay with him a little longer, but you had projects to finish and coach Patrick never let people to enter the gym during his teams’ practices.

You slowly walked back home and Justin never left your thoughts. He stayed in your mind even when you were doing your homework.

You loved Justin, because who wouldn’t, and he made you happy every time. He could be considered as an asshole by some students, but you knew that he had a kind heart. He could be weak too, mostly when it came to his family, but you always knew how to cheer him up and how to mend his broken heart.

People has always thought that you were together, because you couldn’t be you without Justin and Justin couldn’t be him without you. You completed each other, even though you were just best friends. You flirted and sometimes people mistook your actions, but you never admitted your feelings to him. You were obviously shy to admit it, you thought that it was flustering because you didn’t know if he felt the same towards you, even though his friends said that the feeling was mutual.

“(Y/N)!” Your mum called as dinner was ready and you didn’t notice it as you were so focused on finishing your Communications’ project and thinking of Justin. “Dad’s not home before 10 pm and he told me to not wait for him.”

“I’m coming.” You shouted as you ran downstairs, stopping in front of the front door when you heard the bell ringing. “I’m opening it.”

“Sure!” Your mum shouted from the kitchen as you heard the glasses clinking while she was preparing the table.

“Justin!” You worriedly called his name as you opened your front door. You were happy to see him, of course, but not after seeing his dull gaze. “What happened?”

“Can I,” he started as you saw him angry and down at the same time. “is it all right if I crash here tonight?” He bit his lower lip as he looked at the ground. He was so shy to ask you some favours, although you’ve been best friends for a long time now.

“Of course, Jus!” You sadly smiled at him as you already hinted that something was wrong in his house. You let him enter the house and you closed the door behind you. “Have you already eaten?”

“Uhm,” He felt more relaxed and relieved that he finally found someone who could help him for the night, although you were really his first choice. “not really.”

“Then have dinner with us.” You smiled as him as you pulled his hand and headed to the kitchen.

“Good evening, (Y/M/N)!” Justin politely greeted and your mum flashed him a sweet and welcoming smile. You let his hand go as you took his blue sports bag off his shoulder.

“Good evening, Justin.” Your mother greeted. “Have you had your dinner yet?”

“He didn’t, Mum.” You answered for Justin as you knew that he was feeling a little bit uncomfortable. After all this time, he was still shy around your mother.

“Oh, eat with us!” Your mother panicked as she put an extra plate with a glass and the cutlery.

“Thank you.” Justin warmly smiled as he felt loved. You knew that he didn’t get much attention from his mother like how you did and he had serious problems at home, that was why you always tried to be there for him.

The three of you sat on your places and you shared a warm and delicious food together.

“Mum,” You seriously called her attention as you carefully chewed your food. “can Justin stay for the night?”

“Yes, of course! The guest room is always ready for him.” Your mother smiled sadly as she sensed that Justin had his family problems once again. It wasn’t the first time that Justin was crashing in your place and he has been welcomed by your parents with their arms widely opened.

“Thank you, really.” Justin was overwhelmed for the help that he was receiving and it made you love him even more because he knew how to appreciate the small things.

“Justin, you are always welcome in our family. Don’t hesitate to ask for help, okay?” Your mother reminded and Justin smiled while nodding in response.
After dinner, Justin helped you to clear the table and to wash the dishes.

“Jus,” You called him as you turned the faucet off and wiped your hands to dry them. “do you want to watch the stars?”

“Cheesy night ahead?” He winked at you and his gaze became bright once again. You knew that he felt better, but you still wanted to talk about it. He couldn’t keep his resentments to himself.

“Don’t you like it, Mr. Foley?” You hugged him from behind while he was drying the last plate.

“I do, Mrs. Foley.” He responded and you just let out some cute giggles. After some seconds, he put the last plate on its place and he wiped his hand using the towel.

You and Justin then headed to your house’s roof with two blankets and some chocolate bars. You used to do this when you were little and you would fall asleep on the roof while watching the stars with your parents.

Justin fixed one blanket on the flattened part of the roof and you both lied down on the blanket as you admired the starry sky.

“These stars are so bright.” You commented, being amazed at the protuberances that you were seeing.

“But those stars aren’t as bright as my life with you.” Justin sweetly said as he looked at you and you suddenly felt the heat in your cheeks.

“Aw, Justin!” You were flattered and you wouldn’t deny that. He knew how to make you smile and, in fact, he flashed you his warm smile when he saw you smiling.

“(Y/N), I am so happy to be with you right now.” He looked back at the sky and he sighed as he thought of his situation at home.

“And I am happy to have you here, Justin.” You smiled at him as you saw that he was focused at admiring the dark sky.

“And I thank you for that.” He seriously said, searching for your hand as a tear ran down his face. “Seth’s been stressing me since he came back to my mother. I was already happy that they broke up, but my mother kept on welcoming him home, although she knew that he would hurt me, although he hurts her too.”

“Jus, your mother has just loved somebody that couldn’t appreciate things. He’s an asshole, I know that, but it wasn’t your mother’s fault.” Justin intertwined his fingers with yours as you explained him how the things really were.

“I know, it’s just that I don’t feel that my mother cares about me anymore. I mean, she would stumble to serve that reckless ungrateful man as if she’s a maid.” Justin sighed as he worried of his mother. He cared for his mum and you couldn’t deny how great he was as a son.

“Justin,” you faced him and caressed his cheek with your free hand. “it’s not fair, but your mother is blinded by her love. Unluckily.” You sighed. “I am sure, though, that she cares about you. She’s just afraid to show it, because Seth hates you to death. She’s afraid of the consequences.”

“What a fucked-up situation.” He bit his lower lip as he shook his head, switching his gaze from the sky to your face.

“I know, but I am here for you Justin.” You caught each other’s glances and he smiled at you.

“Honestly?” You put on your questioning look and he looked at your lips and then he looked back at your eyes. “My world got better since you came into my life.”

“Aw, Justin.” You flashed him your flattered and touched smile. “You’re the sweetest.”

“It’s the truth and I would never lie to you.” Justin caressed your cheek as he tucked a strand of hair covering your face.

“Why is that?” You put your hand on his and you caressed it with your thumb. Your hand was small compared to his and you were amazed because it was so soft and smooth for a boy.

“Because I’m falling deeper in love with you.” He confessed his feelings and you felt the heat and the burning sensation in your face one more time. “I love you, (Y/N) and I don’t want to lose you.” He was brief, but he knew how to explain his hidden feelings.

“Justin, you are the sweetest person ever.” You bit your lower lip and he flashed you his sweetest smile, that smile that you loved the most in him. “And you would never believe it, but I love you too, for a while too.”

“Really?” His eyes grew wide as the words flushed in his mind.

“Really!” You gave him your confirmation and his smile grew bigger, just as big as yours, teeth confidently showing.

He leant in as he was about to close the gap between the two of you. He was really a gentleman, even though he seemed an asshole. “Can I?”

“Is that even a question to ask?” You winked at him and you leant in a little bit closer as you both laughed loudly.

You both moved forward and you closed the gap between the two of you. The cold breeze of air stung your skins and the stars shone up in the sky while you shared a long and sweet passionate kiss.

You waited for that moment to happen for a more than a century now and you couldn’t believe that it happened as you felt butterflies playing in your stomach.

You surely were happy and, like Justin, you were falling deeper in love with him too.


Pins and Needles (Negan x Female)

Summary: She’s always been invisible to Negan, but when she agrees to become his wife to get medication to control her pain, she sets out to make him finally see her.

Characters: Negan x Female

Word Count: 3,871

Warnings: NSFW, Smut, Fluff and Swearing

Author’s Note: This fic was requested by @dicktator who sent:

I was wondering if I could get a fic with Negan x Chronic pain /fibromyalgia sufferer? I suffer fibromyalgia, and I haven’t found many fics I can relate in that aspect. Can be whatever you want, smut, fluff, whatever!

Okay so I didn’t know that much about fibromyalgia before writing this fic, but I love a challenge! I did some research, and I hope this turned out okay. I had a ton of fun writing it and learned a lot! @dicktator if this isn’t to your liking or it’s not accurate please let me know and I will write you another fic.

Thanks a bunch to @flames-bring-a-ton-of-ash and @ashzombie13 for being my beta readers!

I am always happy to hear what you think! Shoot me a message and tell me what you thought!

Originally posted by negandarylsatisfaction

Keep reading

i feel like i need to say this

recently, a lot of information has been brought to my attention, especially that of people copying my art, and copying specific pieces to the point where they’re just redraws. this isn’t the first time this has happened, unfortunately, but the fact that i found out about so many of them at once has brought me to have to say this. i’m tired, so very tired of emphasizing that my art, and all art, is more than just lines and colors. the fact that people feel comfortable reducing my work to just stock photo references makes me unexplainably sad. everything i draw has a very personal backstory behind it, and i wish for people to respect that. i of course, unfortunately, cannot make anyone respect me,

however, i’ll put this out there. we all start somewhere, and getting inspiration is not something unusual. you don’t have to deny it. if you reference something, just credit the person, that’s the least you can do. there’s no need to tell me that my art is “overdone” and “generic” just to justify the fact that our pieces “coincidentally” look alike. you don’t have to hurtle insults at anyone when they tell you that something like this makes them uncomfortable.

i make this post because i am tired, and the more and more i deal with situations like this, the more uncomfortable it makes me to share my art with the world. what’s the point of me drawing anything if it’s “generic” and “overdone” and “nothing special” and “anyone who has ever held a pencil could do some crappy shit like that”. you don’t have to call me a “shitty tumblr aesthetic” to admit that you enjoy my work.

thank you all so much for your support. you all mean a lot to me, that you enjoy my work and continue to do so.

I Shouldn't

Originally posted by apasource

Characters: Archie x Reader

Word Count: 768

Warnings: Angst

Anon Request: Could you do an Archie x reader where reader dated Archie but saw what happened between him and Ms. Grundy, so she leaves for the remainder of he summer but than shows up for school, and he sees her at the dance, and you can go from there :)

A/N: Im sorry this one isn’t super long! But nonetheless i hope you enjoy it!


<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>


You and Archie had been dating for a while. You’d both already felt comfortable enough saying I love you to each other in public. Everything was going great. Until that one fateful afternoon this summer. 

 You’d packed a lunch for Archie and yourself. You knew how hard he worked at his father’s shop and knew he could use some good food. After making his favorite and throwing it into a small carry on, you trekked your way over to the little run down building it was all located at. 

You looked around and recognized some of the usual workers but couldn’t find Archie. You asked around but no one seemed to know where he was. That’s when you looked around the back of the building. There he was, making out with Ms. Grundy, your music teacher. 

 You stood there in shock not knowing at all how to handle the situation. Not wanting to make a scene you ran, unnoticed by the two who’s lips were hot and smashed against each other, hidden by those who weren’t looking. That night you sent him a brief message saying your relationship was over and that you just wanted to be left alone. 

You knew you should go to the police and report it, after all, it was a teacher with a student. But you couldn’t find it in yourself to do it. When school started again you switched from Music to French. You couldn’t look at Ms. Grundy without wanting to find a trash bin and heave into it. 

Once or twice she tried to approach you, wondering why one of her best musically talented students would suddenly drop her class but you would always finding an excuse to be somewhere else. Archie always tried to talk to you but you ignored him, staying silent and praying he’d leave you alone. And from then on you would cry yourself to sleep every night wondering why you weren’t enough. 

 The back to school semi formal was tonight. You weren’t going to go but after being confronted by your best friend Betty you decided you wouldn’t let the thought of him take away your fun. You got ready together, along with Veronica who was a new friend of Betty’s you didnt mind. 

 She had amazing style and helped you choose your dress and do your hair and makeup. The three of you looked fabulous when you walked through the school doors and it couldn’t be denied. After a few songs you had danced together you excused yourself to go get some punch. 

You regretted the decision when a certain red haired someone approached you while you held the ladle. “Y/n?” He asked. You looked up at him with a glare. “What?” You replied sharply. A slow song started to play at that moment. “May I have this dance?” He asked nervously. You let the punch fall back into the bowl as you set your cup down. His brown eyes pleaded with yours and you couldn’t resist. “Fine.“ 

He grinned to himself and immediately held out his hand for you to take. You hesistantly took it as he led you to the dance floor. His hands landed on your hips as yours awkwardly became placed around his neck. You were very close to one another now. "Why did you break up with me?” He asked after a minute of silence. 

You scoffed. When his face showed that he clearly don’t know you shook your head with a bitter laugh. “I saw you Archie… you and Grundy at your dads shop. I don’t think I need to explain any further.” He immediately went to deny it but you shushed him. 

 "You cheated on me with a fucking teacher Archie. I thought you loved me.“ "I do!” He argued instantly. “If you did, I would’ve been enough for you.” You stated as the song came to a close. “Y/n.” “I’m sorry Archie. If you want my advice, tell the authorities about your situation, you should be lucky I haven’t already." 

You move out of his hold and go to leave when he grabs your arm. You immediately rip it out of his grasp and give him another glare. "I just have one more question, and then I’ll leave you alone… forever.” You looked at him expectantly. “Why didn’t you tell anyone?” You looked down as tears started to form. 

When you looked up again you were able to stare down the pained expression Archie was showing. “Because no matter how much I tell myself I shouldn’t, I still love you. And I hate it.” That’s when you ran away, never to be bothered by Archie again.

help a disabled, gay/trans jew survive

hi, i’m isak. i’m 26.

i was recently homeless and my housing situation rn isn’t the most secure. i only have the equivalent of a high school degree and i can’t work the kind of jobs i’m qualified for due to schizoaffective disorder, CFS and a damaged left ulnar nerve. i’m also a trans man and visibly gay, making employment even more dicey.

i have no support from my (physically and emotionally abusive) family, who refuse to acknowledge my transition, oppose my conversion to judaism and have been trying to make me return home so they can control my life again. they also have a history of denying me medical treatment, including psychiatric treatment. reaching out to them for help is out of the question.

i need money for food, rent, transportation (especially to and from shul, which is one of the few contacts i have outside of my home) and the occasional nice things for myself. i used to depend on my ex for most of this, but lately he’s been refusing to send me any more money, leaving me with very few options.

(also—my roommate—a business student with a job—has started stealing from me. fancy imported beer i’d bought to treat myself and my boyfriend when he visits next went missing from the fridge and i really can’t afford to write that kind of thing off; the emotional cost is also p. bad. i was looking forward to that.)

as a note—i’ve applied for ESA, so i’m working on getting benefits. there are some hurdles to overcome before they’ll pay me, so i’m relying on donations for the time being.

i am also currently saving up to have my gender legally changed in the UK, which will cost £140. i can get help with this fee, but that has the same hurdles as getting ESA—i am having a lot of difficulty opening a british bank account.

my paypal is simonemmetts@gmail.com

thank you for reading this far. if you can donate, even as little as £1 will make a difference to me. if you can’t donate, please, please reblog. thank you.

2

Has Hollywood changed you over the years? I can’t deny that it’s had an effect, but I think it’s a positive one. Instead of trying to figure out how to play the game, I’ve come to realize that it’s more important to remind myself that I don’t have to win today and I don’t actually have to play at all. Obstacles and hurdles are man-made. I won’t say it’s not useful to self-reflect, but I realize the part of you that’s fueling the self-reflections actually more akin to your ego than to the situation you’re in.

Caring

Summary: Mickey comes to a Gallagher party after being released from prison. Ian has a panic attack and Trevor tries to help, when Mickey steps in, he finds something out he wasn’t expecting.

Word Count: 2228

Notes: Loved this request so much!! And I have a half marathon tomorrow so I’ll be super busy, I’ll try to get something in though :)


Mickey was released from jail and back home for about thirty one hours. He and Ian didn’t have time to talk yet, other than through Svetlana. He was informed that the love of his life has a fucking boyfriend, and what does one do in that situation? Mickey doesn’t have a single clue of who this guy is, but he already hates his guts.

Today though is supposed to be another Gallagher party, and Mickey cannot deny that he is thrilled to be able to go— he’s missed it, he’s missed that whole family. As he walked to the house with a cigarette between his lips, a sort of nervous sensation was growing in his stomach; he had a feeling that something was going to go wrong tonight, so he was going to do his best to be on his best behavior in front of Ian and his boyfriend.

Without knocking, Mickey walked into the house. To his surprise, Liam was the first to greet him. The little boy ran to him with spread arms, so Mickey picked him up and gave him a hug. “Missed you, Mickey.”

“Missed you too, buddy,” he smiled and put Liam back to his feet. “Where the fuck’s everybody at?” Mickey asked and searched the living room.

Liam pointed towards the kitchen. “There. Ian’s there too.”

For the same reason as always, Mickey’s heart fluttered at the name. “You know me and Ian aren’t together anymore,” he said with a sad smile.

Liam nodded. “He’s in there,” he repeated. “He’s a little weird today though,” the boy said with a shrug and then ran into the kitchen.

What does he mean by weird? Shit. It was inevitable for Mickey not to worry. He shook it off though, for the time being, and made his way into the kitchen.

Everybody’s faces broke into surprised smiles— except Ian. V jumped up to go hug him, which means she was a little drunk already. “Y’know Lana said you were coming, but I didn’t think they’d ever let you out of the slammer!” She giggled, and so did Svetlana.

Svetlana then got up with Yevgeny in her arms, and went to go place a kiss on the ex-convicts cheek. “Take baby,” she said. “Everybody miss you while you were gone.”

“I fucking missed you guys too,” he said in disbelief. He then planted a kiss on his baby’s forehead.

After that, everyone greeted him and told them how much they missed him. Throughout all of it though, he couldn’t believe how proud he was of Debbie and Carl. Yeah, Debs went nuts for a while to have the mindset of having a baby, but she’s good and being responsible. Carl’s a military boy, following in Ian’s footsteps.

The only person who didn’t run to hug Mickey was Ian. It was like he was intentionally avoiding eye contact with him. All he said was, “Hey, Mick,” in an extremely sad voice.

Following that though was the boyfriend. “Who’s this?” He spoke with no worry because he clearly had no clue— poor guy.

“I’m—-” Mickey started, but got cut off by Svetlana.

“Ex-husband. Yevgeny’s father,” she said with a smile. All of the people in the room were giving him the same apologetic look, but he didn’t lash out, he just nodded.

Trevor stepped forward with his hand out. “Oh, cool. I’m Trevor,” he was ready to shake Mickey’s hand, and the ex-con wanted nothing to do with it. After a hit on the shoulder from Svet though, he extended his own hand, and squeezed Trevor’s so tightly that a finger might have broke. “Ah, um, nice tattoos.”

“Yeah, nice to meet you, man,” Mickey said with his voice thick of sarcasm. He turned his head to look at Ian, who didn’t even seem to be paying much attention. He was rhythmically tapping his fingers, and only focusing on that. Mickey’s body tightened at the sight for some reason.

Fiona noticed all of the tension and stood back up. “Well okay, now the everyone’s here let’s get this party started!” Everyone let out a cheer and grabbed a beer— unless your Lip or Ian, they grabbed a soda. Mickey grabbed a soda as well because even though he and Ian weren’t together, he didn’t like when Ian felt like the odd one out.

After a few minutes of mingling, the group made their way into the living room, where there was more room. A few people asked Mickey about his time in jail, a few asked him what he’s going to do with his life now that he was out, and truthfully it was hard for him to answer either.

Suddenly, Frank walked into the house. “Party!” He shouted and ran to the kitchen to get a beer.

“Oh, fuck,” Lip said in annoyance. That annoyance seemed to be immediately replaced with worry though because he turned his head to see Ian’s reaction, but the redhead didn’t even seem to notice Frank, he was still fidgeting.

Mickey noticed both Ian and Gallagher father, who was coming out of the kitchen and noticing Mickey. He walked up to him with his usual cockiness.  “Mickey, how did the joint treat you?”

“Fuck off, Frank,” he shrugged.

“No beer?” Frank asked in shock. He then seemed to be hit with a sudden realization of Ian as Mickey was scoffing. Frank looked from Mickey to Ian, and patted him on the back. “Good man,” he said and then walked away.

Mickey shrugged again and sat down. It was killing him to not go over then and just jump on Ian; all he wanted to do was go kiss him and tell him how much he needed him, but he couldn’t. The sight of that scrawny little boyfriend made Mickey shutter.

Ian was uncontrollably tapping his feet. He wanted to go talk to Mickey so badly, but he was sort of scared. He had a boyfriend. Yeah sometimes he forgot to get a refill of his pills, but his life was together; he couldn’t set a match to it now. Suddenly, it started to become hard to breath. He turned to look at Mickey, but he was standing up. “I gotta piss,” Mickey said. Ian watched him walk until he was out of sight, and that’s when it started.

He was full on hyperventilating, but it wasn’t so bad yet. Then someone placed a hand on his shoulder and he jumped. When he turned to look at who it was, he couldn’t tell. Everything in his sight was blurred and before he knew it he was clutching onto himself like an anchor. Silent screams were coming out of his mouth, and tears were running down his eyes.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Trevor said in worry.

“Shit!” Fiona yelled and put her beer down to approach her brother, and everyone followed in her lead.

Trevor tried to rub his hand on Ian’s back, but Ian screamed and flinched some more. “No! No! No!” He yelled, causing Trevor to jump back.

“Mickey!” Debbie yelled for the Milkovich boy. She  knew that Mickey was the only one who knew how to deal with this, even if it’s been a few years.

On que, Mickey ran back into the living room. He saw the distressed redhead sitting on the ground, and his heart dropped. “Fuck, has he been taking his meds?” Mickey asked frantically as he made his way over. Everyone shared questionative glances, and then looked at Trevor for an answer.

“I-I don’t know!” Ian’s boyfriend said guiltily.

Mickey forcefully grabbed Trevor by the collar and flung him out of the way. Doing what anybody else wouldn’t, he sat on the floor in front of Ian and pried the boy’s hands away from his eyes. “Shhhh,” he said and wrapped his arms around him and soothing rubbed his back.

Ian’s sobs grew to be more violent, but his arms were clutching around Mickey. “I’m right here. Listen to my voice. Focus on me,” Mickey softly ordered, and when Ian obliged he spoke more. “You gotta breathe, Ian. Please breathe with me.” He started taking deep breaths and waited until Ian caught on. After a while he did, and they kept doing it until Ian could control it.

He was still crying despite the fact that he stopped hyperventilating. The redhead shoved his face into Mickey’s neck. “Don’t leave. Please don’t leave again.”

“I’m not fucking leaving. I’m not,” Mickey responded and kissed the side of Ian’s head. He did not plan on getting sent away anytime soon. “Hey,” he said to get Ian to look at him. “I love you.”

Ian nodded and another tear rolled down his face. “I love you too,” he whispered.

To everyone else it sort of looked like the boys were part of a movie. Though no one other than Trevor was shocked by the words that were being exchanged, it did make their hearts melt. These boys have gone through so much together that they’re practically bound to each other. No amount of separation can really end them.

Mickey was aware of all of the eyes on him, but he didn’t mind. He planted one last kiss on the boys head and pulled back to look him in the eyes. “Are you takin’ your pills?”

Ian looked down guiltily. “I, uh, kinda need a refill,” he mumbled.

“I’ll get it later,” Mickey said and then stood up with an undeniable rage in his eyes. He went straight for Trevor, and pushed him. “You’re supposed to fucking know this shit. You’re supposed to take care of him, fucking dumbass. You’re his boyfriend aren’t you?” He pushed again and got ready to punch, but Carl pulled him back.

Trevor’s mouth dropped open— speechless for a moment, then his eyes filled with confusion and anger. “Who the fuck are you?” Suddenly his eyes widened. “Holy shit. You’re who he talks about in his sleep.”

Mickey smirked. “That’s me, asshole.”

Trevor scoffed. “Y’know what, I don’t give a shit who you are. I’m with Ian now, you fucked up. You have no place being here—”

“Travis, Trevor, whatever your name is,” Frank cut him off. “I would like to inform you that won’t win this one. I’m up to see a good fight if you two want to go at it,” he nodded.

Trevor scoffed, but before he could speak, Mickey did. “You’re a fucking—”

“Mick,” Ian cut him off. “Don’t.” He shook his head and stood up. “I’m really sorry, Trev. I tried to move on from him, really tried, but it didn’t work.”

Trevor frowned. He was truthfully saddened by all of this. “Y-you love each other?”

Both boys nodded. “Yeah, we do,” Ian said.

For some reason, Trevor turned to look at the other people in the room. Some gave him a nod, others gave him an apologetic shrug. “Sorry, man,” Kev said.

Trevor let out a quiet sound of pain, and put his head down. “I-I’ll go,” he started to walk away.

“No. Now wait one second—”

“Mickey—”

“Ian, shut the fuck up. You people,” he pointed at everyone, “should fucking know better than to let his pills run out. Did you just fucking stop checking? Since I left you stopped worrying?” His voice was cold.

Fiona and the other siblings all looked down with loads of guilt. Mickey was right, they should’ve been more attentive. They’ve been through this before, they know damn well that it could get out of hand. “We still worry. Just thought he could handle it on his own—”

“I can handle it on my own.” Ian’s voice was stern.

“You still need help though, man,” Lip said. “Just like I do with the whole fucking alcoholic thing.” There was a mix of seriousness and kindness in his voice, it showed that he was not fucking around. Ian nodded.

Fiona frowned. “W-we’re sorry.”

“Guess I didn’t know as much as I thought about you, Ian,” Trevor shook his head and then proceeded to leave.

“Fucking asshole,” Mickey said before turning back to Ian.

The redhead looked mentally drained, like he usually does after a panic attack. He looked at Mickey with soft eyes though. He’s really back. All he wanted right now was to be held. “I’m tired, Mick,” Ian said quietly.

“Go on up,” Mickey gave a slight smile. “I’ll go get your pills and then I’ll be right there.”

Ian shook his head “I need you to come with me. Haven’t had a full night sleep since you got locked up,” he looked down in embarrassment. “Fi, can you go get them?” His sister nodded.

Mickey slowly walked over to the redhead and grabbed his hand. “C’mon, let’s go to bed.” He then led them up the stairs, leaving everyone in silence.

The Gallaghers, Kev, V, and Svetlana all looked around at each other. It truly was heartwarming to see a member of the Milkovich family care so much about someone— it even touched Svetlana.

Kev let out a dry chuckle. “Guess none of us should be surprised that that was the outcome of this night.”

“That’s because Orange Boy and Mickey love each other,” Svetlana said.

“They really do,” Debbie smiled. “I’m glad Mickey’s back,” and so was everyone else. With Mickey being here, everything’s the way it should be. Everything fits right.

Has Hollywood changed you over the years?

“I can’t deny that it’s had an effect, but I think it’s a positive one. Instead of trying to figure out how to play the game, I’ve come to realize that it’s more important to remind myself that I don’t have to win today and I don’t actually have to play at all. Obstacles and hurdles are man-made. I won’t say it’s not useful to self-reflect, but I realize the part of you that’s fueling the self-reflections actually more akin to your ego than to the situation you’re in.”

thirtythreebetadelta  asked:

Hello! Can I have Ratchet denying he needs to refuel but his tanks are rumbling and giving him away? 🐝

this is going to get a lil sad cause i have emotions abt this hecker

Ratchet (TFP)

  • He outright ignores you, which of course will only make you even more upset. If you start to raise your voice and make it very obvious that you’re not taking ‘no’ for an answer, maybe you can get it through his head that he’s gonna fuel before the day is over because you are that determined. Even so, you have to remember that this is Ratchet; he’s been in the same situation as you many, many times before (he’s developed a thick hide because of it)– so you’re pretty useless against him at first.

  • Just like his low fuel levels, your pestering begins to wear him down. He turns on you, optics burning bright as he grits out in frustration, “What do you want?” You thought you’d made that very obvious. “Drink up, Ratchet! I can hear your fuel gauge beeping from over here!” Ratchet is adamant and refuses your care. Again. It feels like it’s been hours. 

  • After a long time, you start asking questions. “Why? Why wouldn’t you just take some? Why are you denying yourself that care, medic?” Your frustration got the better of you and acid started slipping into your tone… but Ratchet has frozen. He then turns slowly, mouth pulled tight and optics ablaze with emotion and anguish.

  • Ratchet’s armour flares and he drops his newest invention back on the table. “Do you think I’m starving by choice? Do you think I want to be left like this?” You’re left speechless, stunned, confused. “If we had half the amount of energon that the Decepticons have, do you think we’d have to ration it out so carefully like we do? No. We don’t have that luxury, [Y/N]. We are all starving. Remember the synth-en? That was a treat. That was a damn treat. First time I’ve felt like myself since arriving on Earth years ago. Think of it as a… what do you humans call it, a sugar-high? Think of it as a sugar-high, except your entire life depends on it. We are all starving.”

  • Ratchet had leaned back against his desk and inhaled deeply, optics closing as well as his posture. In the quietest voice you’d ever heard from him, he hisses, “I starve– I starve myself– so that they can thrive.” Ratchet stole a glance at the groundbridge, deactivated until the Autobots comm him to open it.  “Please don’t get hurt, please, please, don’t get hurt.” 
1. Clearing the misunderstanding

“No, no, no! I need that back, please!”

But Connor’s already storming off, and Evan… Evan can’t let him take it. He can’t. What if he shows Zoe? What if he shows the whole school? No. No. He can’t. He can’t let that happen.

It’s the fear that pushes him to run after Connor and grab his arm, pleading for him to stop. And when Connor twists around and yanks his arm out of Evan’s grip with a vicious, “Get the hell off me!”, Evan won’t deny that he flinches back and almost runs off. If it were any other situation, he’d retreat and let Connor go. Let it go. But the panic of imagining how much worse this could get if he did keeps Evan right where he is, and he ends up pouring out a rambling, stuttering explanation.

“Please, I really need that back,” He says, voice wavering embarrassingly while his hands flail in nonsensical gestures. “It really wasn’t meant for you. Like, at all. I have a therapist… and they said, they wanted me to write a letter to myself. You know, like write positive thoughts and all. And that’s supposed to make me feel better. A psych yourself up sorta thing. But like, it didn’t work. It doesn’t work. Because… haha, because you know, it really hasn’t been good so far? It’s been pretty bad. I mean,  you shoved me on the first day back. Not… not that it’s your fault! I don’t blame you! Like, who likes it when someone’s laughing at them. I sure don’t. But I wasn’t, by the way. Laughing at you, I mean. And… um, where was I going with this? The letter! Yes. I have to bring it to my session, it was an assignment. So um… if I could get it back…”

He trails off with an awkward laugh, eyes flickering down to stare at the ground and face burning in shame. He’s so screwed.

Connor’s disgusted scoff is enough to tell him he’s ruined all chances making it out of this with any semblance of dignity or a even lack of animosity from the guy.

“Therapists, huh?”

Evan nods. Words aren’t doing so great for him, afterall.

“They think a fucking letter is going to do anything? What a load of shit.”

Again, Evan nods.

“They always think they know what’s best. They don’t even think that we all got our own ways of dealing with shit. Or that things that work for others isn’t going to work for us. You. They won’t work for you. It doesn’t help, right?” Connor asks.

Evan hesitates, then shakes his head. “No,” he murmurs. “It doesn’t help.”

“But you gotta show something that makes them think you’re doing better?”

“Yeah…”

There’s a loaded silence. Heavy and uncomfortable. He can feel Connor staring him down, but he has no idea what the guy is thinking.

“Here, then,” says Connor, and then he tears the letter in half. Right in front of Evan eyes. And he folds it over, and tears it again. Evan can’t believe what he’s seeing, his mouth opened in dumbfounded shock. Connor looks back at him with a raised brow, like Evan’s the one being weird. “Look, don’t show them this. Show them your cast instead.”

Looking down at his cast, all Evan can see is the glaringly, obvious blocky letters of ‘CONNOR’ scrawled over it. He’s sure the confusion he feels is not at all subtle.

“Tell them you made a friend. So you forgot about the assignment. Or you were busy,” Connor explains. “It’ll look a ton better than that sorry excuse of a letter you wrote.” He holds his hand out and drops the shredded remains of the letter into Evan’s hand. “Or don’t do it. I don’t care. It’s your fucking life.”

“Oh…” says Evan, fingers clasping over the pieces of paper in a loose grip. “Th… thanks.” It’s a good plan. A good alternative. One that won’t make his mum disappointed. But does he really want to lie?

'Haven’t you, already?’ says a voice in his head. He glances back at his cast and thinks the voice does have a point.

“Guess I’ll see you around then. Later.”

He looks back up to see Connor already walking away. Of course, he wasn’t expecting a friendlier goodbye. He’s lucky he didn’t get punched or something. Thank goodness for small graces, huh?

“Th… thank you.” It startles Evan to realise he’s even calling out to Connor. But he supposes the guy’s helped him out. So he should be grateful. He raises his broken arm. “For this. Thanks.”

It’s possible he’s imagining it. But he swears he sees Connor look a little less murderous.

And then, the impossible happens.

Connor smiles at him.

“Evan, right?”

Evan nods emphatically. Maybe… maybe this isn’t going to be such a bad day afterall.

But then Connor’s smile drops, replaced with a menacing glare.

“Evan, stay the hell away from my sister.”

Yup, this is not going to be a good day.

(Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6)

SLEEPY LIFE OF SERVAMP OVA 3-TRANSLATION

Rejoice my fellow Sevamp lovers! I have been asked a couple of times for this and I just wanted to say thank you for all the nice messages and even the mentions in the tags where you guys liked the translations I was able to provide.
THANK YOU SO MUCH! ヽ(=^・ω・^=)丿Thank you for being patient and also being the most awesome fandom! ☆*:.。. o(≧▽≦)o .。.:*☆

Wow…I can’t believe I managed to translate all the OVAs. At first I never thought that I would actually start on translating these, I mean, I was sure that a famous subbing group will pick them up. I wasn’t confident to translate them but I did my best,  not everything went well because I’m still not so advanced at Japanese and everything that I did required a lot of dictionary look up and searching references in sentences (When it comes to slang or short forms I’m not good at them…Audio material is also much tougher to translate…)
But all in all, I learned new phrases along the way :D
This OVA in particular was the most challenging of them all, so please, if you have time, look at my translation notes and comments :)

ENJOY THE VIDEO EVERYONE!

Keep reading

I’ve been thinking...

…and re-evaluating my priorities these days, and I’ve realized that for me joining this fandom has always been about Hook/Colin. Colin’s portrayal of Hook made me want to try and give the show a second chance, when I’ve all but given up on it mid S1. It never was about Jen/Emma for me. Although I won’t deny that both the actress (Jen) and the character (Emma) have grown on me considerably in the last couple of seasons. And I’m still devastated over this no more Emma/CS situation.

Some say they were drawn to the show because it was about strong women, not the case for me (don’t get me wrong; I deeply believe in gender equalty & will fight tooth and nail if told otherwise, it’s not that). Why? It’s quite simple actually; in my reality I’m surrounded by strong women; women that struggle to provide for their families, educate their children, keep their families safe & happy… I see it. Daily. But what I don’t see are men - men strong enough to realize how brilliant those women are.

That’s when Killian Jones comes into play, a man that doesn’t shy away from the fact that Emma Swan has bested him & keeps reminding her how bloody brilliant she is every single day. A man that accepts his own mistakes and takes responsibility for his actions. He’s not a saint, he fails constantly; be it fighting his nemesis or his own demons, but one thing never changes - he doesn’t give up, he wants to be better & he’d do anything for love. That’s the kind of man I want to see, well, at least on screen.

It’s true I was attracted to a pretty face at first (not only the face to be totally honest ;)), but pretty faces never make me stay. It takes much, much more than that. It takes courage, strengh, loyalty, love… basically all the qualities Killian Jones has shown during his character development arc.

And last but not least, it’s the actor’s personality that counts a lot; one that is talented, considerate, modest, loyal to family & friends, fiercely dedicated to his work & the character he plays. You know who I’m talking about, right? :)

so yeah, if you still have any doubts, that was me professing my undying love for Killian Jones & Colin O’Donoghue

& obviously my very own reasons for staying in the fandom :)

anonymous asked:

Can u do a yousana fanfic where Sana and Elias had a huge argument and Sana's really upset and Yousef comforts her in a quiet way? (btw ur fics give me life)

When Sana heard a faint knock from her door, her first reaction was to ignore it - she had no intention in hearing Elias’ fake apologies that were generally just some empty words their parents had made him say to regain the peace in their household. Sana wanted, no, she needed, to have some more quiet time. Time to think and piece her rage-fueled thoughts back together and get ready for the eventual awkward apology moment that she truly wasn’t looking forward to.

But what she wasn’t expecting to hear was Yousef’s voice from the other side of the door.

“Sana?” His voice was filled with something Sana didn’t expect: concern. For her. She lifted up her gaze from her math book but didn’t get up - what if Elias was with Yousef and he was just there to lure her out?

“Sana, come on. I know you’re in there,” Yousef persisted, his voice slightly weak with desperation.  Sana let out a quiet voice of frustration and rolled her eyes, cursing Elias and his whole group of friends quietly in her mind. But she did get up and walk to her door, but for a few seconds she froze: her hand on the handle, preparing herself to face the boy who’s face seemed to haunt her mind wherever she went.

When the door opened, Yousef’s warm eyes set on Sana’s immediately: and for a short, broken moment all Sana could focus on was the smile that lit the boy’s face up with such pure light that she had trouble focusing on anything else. She looked away, placing her gaze to the floor, but she could still feel Yousef’s eyes on her, burning her, distracting her.

Sana looked up. “If you’re here to make amends for Elias-“

I’m not! I’m not, I swear. I’m here for you,” Yousef said with such a convincing, concerned way that Sana forgot all of the hostile things she had prepared to shoot at her bother or at Yousef. She stared.

“I don’t need some cheap pity from you just because my brother yelled at me, I’m fine.” Sana’s voice was so cold she was surprised by it herself - she had never been rude to Yousef. The boy seemed confused by the sudden change in the tone of their conversation.

“I never said you needed my pity,” Yousef answered bluntly, running his hair through his hair in a hastily way. “Besides, I don’t have any pity for you. You don’t need anyone’s pity.”

Sana raised her eyebrows, but she couldn’t deny the fact that Yousef’s words made her feel slightly better about herself and the whole situation; but she didn’t answer verbally, only giving the boy a mere shrug. Yousef rolled his eyes - the gesture looked strange on his usually so warm and understanding features -  and took a step forward. Sana’s heart skipped a beat.

“Can I just, like, come in?” Yousef asked, locking his eyes on Sana’s. She couldn’t tear her gaze off of him, even when she felt him messing up her thoughts when he looked at her like that. His eyes were bright with warm light that asked for Sana’s trust, and she truly wanted to. She wanted to trust Yousef more than anything right now.

Sana stepped to the side to let the boy enter her room and closed the door behind him. When Sana turned around to face the room, Yousef’s gaze was lazily running around the room, stopping on the basketball trophies and medals. The corners of his mouth quirked up.

“Are you okay?” Yousef asked, breaking the silence that had been piling up between them. He leaned to the nearby wall with his side, examining Sana and her expression intensely. Somehow it made her more vulnerable than ever, just being stared by Yousef. Sana cleared her throat and nodded.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I know how to handle Elias,” she answered, and Yousef smiled at her words, running his hand through his dark hair again. What was up with that thing? He always did that with Sana.

“I know you do,” Yousef said, his tone slightly more careful, “But like, do you wanna talk about it? Because we can talk. I’m great at talking, you know. I mean, not great but like - I can listen. And talk, of course.”

Sana chuckled at his nervous babbling, looking down to hide her smile. “No, I don’t wanna talk, not really.”

Yousef shrugged but didn’t bother protesting - and Sana was grateful. “Okay. Let’s not talk.”

So, instead of talking, they just stood there, staring at each other. Yousef looked at her in that kind of way that made her feel nervous and completely at ease at the same time, and she kept on wondering how that could be. He always kept looking at Sana like she was something of a mystery to be solved, but one he truly enjoyed solving with each of his smiles, words and gazes.

And even when they were like this, not talking, it felt like there was no silence between them at all.

Bedtime in the bathtub - ||Conor Maynard Imagine||

Requested? Yes - 144 for Conor? Xx
                              #130 for Conor?

o   PROMPTS:

·         144. “Get out of my face before I hit you.”

·         130. “You fell asleep in the tub?!”

[[two iamgines in one day WOWOW jk bc this imagine is so horrible :// and im so sorry lmfaooo ih8myself enjoy tho !!]]

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A Brisk Swim

gif is not mine

Title: A Brisk Swim

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 1,316

Warnings: FLUFF

A/N: @lizbeth-loves-bobear wanted some romantic dean fluff. I hope this fills that need! I am always willing to write some cute Dean fluff so I hope you all enjoy this! I love you all so much!

The last few days had been incredibly stressful for you and the Winchesters.  Granted, the three of you had been through worse, but it was still a hellish week for everyone.  You retreated to your room, hoping for some time alone.  Even if you wanted time alone, you wouldn’t have minded Dean’s company.

You were laying in the middle of your bed, listening to music.  You didn’t even notice Dean poke his head into your room.  He came inside, quietly shutting your door behind him.  He slowly walked up to your bed, laying down beside you.  That’s when your eyes shot open and you looked to the side.  You were relieved to see that it was only Dean.

You removed your headphones, tossing them onto your pillow.  “Did you need something,” you wondered, laying back down on your side.  You folded your arm under your head.

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feel good (m)
cr

a/n : it’s finally here! lol. anyways I hope you like it, this is kind of my first official mature writing, so it’ll most likely be trash™ but for now please enjoy :-)

word count : 1.4k


The club reeked of the strong stench of alcohol that made your nose scrunch up in distaste, crinkling even more as you saw a girl throw up in the corner of the dancer floor as you quicken your stride to the bar that was just within reach.


You finally reach your destination, glad that there was an empty seat. You sigh to yourself after telling the bartender your order, glad to have found somewhere to take as much of a breather one could in a club, you supposed.


You had lost the two friends you had originally come with, almost immediately stuck between the many sweaty and drunk bodies throughout the club. They had probably left assuming you could handle yourself, seeking out their own eye candy and possible lover for the night. Another sigh leaves you as you feel boredom wash over you. You could have been eating as much food as you wanted laying down on your couch at home, but alas, you had agreed to go out, so you couldn’t really put all the blame on your friends.

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