tim bisley : biggest nerd!!! luvs star wars. a lil gay. a typical libra. han solo wannabe. got dumped once by his gf sarah for his good bud duane & now he’s a mess. help him. the FAKEST bitch. also has weirdly bright blond hair.
shaun riley : wants the best 4 everyone but doesn’t know how 2 make that happen. just wants 2 listen 2 his records in peace. hates his job. luvs his bff ed. gives compliments all the time, mostly rly awkward ones. luvs his mama. cares 2 much.
nicholas angel : nonbinary icon. friend of plants & animals. vegan kween. probably has an aesthetic tumblr blog. luvs their actual husband danny butterman more than anything. literally nic & danny are the only Good Cops ™ in the whole universe
graeme willy : wouldn’t get along with Fake Bitch ™ ( tim bisley ) bc my mans graeme is whipped for that star trek & my other mans tim is whipped for that star wars. mess. also a lil gay tho. speaks klingon. might bond with tim over their mutual luv of gillian anderson. graeme is literally the human embodiment of the x files theme song.
gary king : king of the gays & the goths. asshole of the year award will forever go 2 him. madly in luv with andy knightley but won’t tell u that. maybe capable of being a good person maybe sometimes idk tho. acts like the best bc he feels like the worst. ouch. & jokes aside gary is a v damaged human being and he deserves love