..ehm

And this is why....

Context: I played a game where the players and DM loved to fuck with each other. Our male warlock joked around and teased and tried to seduce our male fighter. I (female necromancer) got in the middle of it when our DM wanted to make a joke based on it.

Warlock: I want to go to (fighter)’s room, dim the light, I use unseen servant and make him play porn music, strip naked and lay on his bed.

DM: Okay, (necromancer) what do you want to do?

Me: I don’t know….I might want to find (fighter) and ask him about a few things.

DM: Okay, you walk to his room. You hear some odd music playing in his room for some reason. (Warlock), you hear the door open as you are laying on (fighter)’s bed.

Warlock: I turn around and say; “Oh, I did not expect you to come back to…..ehm….hey…”

Me: “This is why I am not straight.”

How James Potter got the name 'Prongs'
  • *James Potter, excited about his animagus form*
  • James Potter: This is so cool! i'm a stag! i got those...those...
  • Sirius Black: Those...?
  • James Potter: *Points to his head* Those...ehm...prongs!
  • Remus Lupin: ...
  • Sirius Black: ...
  • Peter Pettigrew: ...
  • Remus Lupin: Do ya mean...'antlers'?
  • James Potter: ...
  • James Potter: ...
  • James Potter: ...maybe...

anonymous asked:

j*kookers are always victimising themselves being like "if u dont like it, stay out of the tag, let us (over)analyse in peace". Then they'll post things like "How can ppl be this blind. Stop ignoring reality. They are in a committed relationship,that's the truth". Ehm, stop pretending u arent pushing this ship past the acceptable boundaries for two real life people who have not confirmed or mentioned anything abt being in a relationship. It's so disrespectful to jk and jm...

I KNOW

This morning a girl in my art class said “Why would you choose to become a lesbian? Girls are so fucking annoying”

Idk why would you choose to become straight? Straight people are so fucking annoying

“I don’t know any spells to keep you warm, but I do have this scarf.”

hes lying.

((I ALREADY SCREAMED TO YOU ABOUT THIS IN OUR CHAT BUT THANK YOU I LOVE IT))

Naughty Dog - Ellie is gay. Deal with it

Originally posted by voldsby

Blizzard - Tracer is gay. Deal with it

Originally posted by covroattano

CD Project Red - Ciri “I prefer women”

Originally posted by the-off

Deck 9 / Square Enix - eeeh.. ehm.. Chloe.. is. probably gay? We mean.. our Chloe maybe is gay, but doesn’t have to be ehm…

Originally posted by khla-eesi

But.. but.. but.. we have a happy pedophile!

4

                                            Come on, come on, my sweetling,
                                                    the music’s still playing.
                                            Might I have this dance, my lady?

okay everybody listen a soulmates au where the date where they fall in love appear on each other’s skin and jungkook and jimin feel a tingling sensation on their skin while watching the fireworks together at disneyland