...no i'm not i'm just lonely

…this is the most cutesy thing I’ve done in a while but maybe that’s just me HA dun mind me or all the Redbubble spam lately.

I don’t know if this is real, but I can 100% see this happening. Teenage Ryan was really something.

I worked 12 hours today and now I feel completely empty, like too tired to even rest and stop my mind. It’s been a rough month and even if I know it’s over and I’ll manage through next month as well idk I just can’t be positive tonight. And it sucks.

i just really wanna be held!!! and kissed!!! and told that im gonna be alright!! i wanna feel like someone loves me and wants me to be happy,, i rlly want someone to care about me. i wanna stay up late in someone’s arms playing with their hair,, i wanna talk about how the world is so fascinating and life is so amazing,, like the fact that we exist and can breathe and live and grow is so so wonderful??? we don’t even realize it but there’s always so much going on inside of us and that is so fuckign cool. i wanna hold hands with someone who gets what I mean by life is so fuckign cool.

[voluntarily flings self into the pits of Voltron hell]

I have accepted my fate.

[edit: made some minor adjustments to the anatomy - and now i must sleep for 16 hours *passes out*]

how the fuck does my brain turn someone saying “I can’t hang out tomorrow I’m busy” into “no one loves you and you gotta be dead bc what’s the point in living” in .3 seconds

Goblin in Review: The Kisses

As specially requested by @mynameishassie​ Here’s a review/reaction of all the kisses between Shin and Eun-Tak in Goblin. Just to play around cause I have nothing better to do.

Gif Credit | Rating: Innocence = 10/10, Dirty = 0/10, Satisfaction = 4/10

Ahh… good ol’ memories. The very first kiss between Shin and Eun-Tak in episode 6… a kiss so pure, innocent, and naive that all the snowflakes started floating upwards. What is gravity? Apparently it doesn’t work in the presence of these two sweethearts. So what makes this kiss important being their first kiss? Well this kiss set the stage for Shin to start thinking about life instead of dying. This kiss was initiated by Eun-Tak not because she necessarily loved him at the time, but because she didn’t know the consequences of Shin’s sword and what love really encompasses. This kiss compared to their last kiss is totally different in terms of romance and their mutual feelings. Shin was still only learning what it meant to be in love and Eun-Tak was still only desiring love. This is seen in their body language as Eun-Tak was struggling to stay on her tiptoes to hesitantly peck him and Shin’s shoulders were completely slumped forwards in utter dumbstruck. A perfect way to get our silly couple rolling. Despite this kiss being not hot and sexy, I appreciate this kiss as I love Shin’s reaction to Eun-Tak kissing him… to think this supposedly “weak” and “defenseless” girl can easily make this 939 yo Goblin confused and break down his defenses. But I desperately needed more than this kiss.

Gif Credit | Rating: Sweetness = 10/10, Hotness = 2/10, Satisfaction = 7/10

Now this was a proper “first kiss” of them being an official couple; what better way than for Shin to redeem himself by initiating the kiss while Eun-Tak asked for it in episode 10. The setting was perfect for our silly couple: fun date in a tent while drinking soju, a kick-ass entertaining performance, and a sweet and happy kiss shared between the two. This kiss was literally the definition of happiness as their kiss even has it’s own Sun shining a random light of unknown origin. It was quite hot of Shin to grab her face so gently as he kissed her and then Eun-Tak stole another kiss right afterwards. This made me love Eun-Tak more as she’s not afraid to ask for kisses… I understand why, lol. Just look at who her boyfriend is. I do like this kiss a lot, as said by Eun-Tak herself, “It’s perfect.” It was the perfect kiss to show how they mutually love each other after coming to an agreement that they will both fight to be together as compared to episode 4′s kiss. I wasn’t expecting anything hotter or sexier since our couple finally got together after jumping the hurdle of Eun-Tak finding out the truth behind Shin’s sword. But still, I needed more! lmao

Gif Credit | Rating: Cuteness = 10/10, Crime = 0/10, Satisfaction = 6/10

The cute photo booth kiss. That’s all that really needs to be said about this kiss, lol. It was a cute and off-guard peck that Eun-Tak gave to Shin which left him flustered and giggling like a little girl. >.< The funny thing is that Eun-Tak had pure intentions while it left Shin thinking about (most likely) not so pure thoughts … this girl can literally kill Shin on the spot whether she removes his sword or not, lmao. I just can’t get over how Shin caught himself using “tiny” and “small” in the same sentence! And then he proceeded to say he wants to come here every day, lmfao. This entire scene in episode 12 is adorable and especially how pure Eun-Tak’s intentions were to 1) get a picture with him and 2) give him an excuse to see his sister. Of course, it wasn’t enough to satisfy my fangirl desires and I was desperately hoping… praying… for a kiss that would exceed my expectations.

Gif Credit | Rating: Hotness = 10/10, Passion = 10/10, Satisfaction = 100/10 

Now we’re talking… this kiss swept me off my feet when Shin turned back to give her such a desperate, passionate, and engraving kiss before his imminent death. THIS WAS THE KISS WE WERE ALL WAITING FOR 13 EPISODES LATER!!! Just look at this beauty! Till this day… I love this kiss so damn much, it’s the kiss of the century. Just look at how Shin cupped her face as he kissed her with such a passion knowing that he might disappear forever. Look at Eun-Tak unable to say or do anything as she just closed her eyes in compliance… worried why he would suddenly kiss her like that. It was the perfect hot and passionate kiss to show how our couple loves each other and wants to be together. THEIR CHEMISTRY WAS OFF THE CHARTS! OMO! The only that that disappointed me about this kiss was how they DIDN’T FULLY CLOSE-UP FILM IT! Like why you gonna film a friggin hot kiss but not show us the whole thing close up??? Ugh… That was the good stuff there. >.> Despite my love for this kiss, I was praying that an even better kiss would happen once she was 29 yo. 

Gif Credit | Rating: Feels = 10/10, Longing = 10/10, Satisfaction = 10/10

This kiss was sooo good… a slightly melancholic kiss that was filled with feels as Shin immediately embraced a frantic Eun-Tak into a kiss as she finally remembered him. All I can say is that this kiss was so good from the angle it was filmed, from how it focused on Shin’s hand tightening on her, and to how both Eun-Tak and Shin’s eyes were filled with so much pain, sadness, and longing for each other. I started ballin like a baby cause they needed to be in each other’s arms and I was so happy when she finally remembered him! Ugh… To think this all happened in episode 15… T.T But this wasn’t the kiss I was waiting for… there was something else I needed to see from the episode 14 preview. 

Gif Credit | Rating: Lovey Dovey = 10/10, Rainbows & Unicorns = 10/10, Satisfaction = 8/10

Just another really lovey dovey peck between the two… oh wait… two pecks cause Shin wanted another one, lmao. I just love their height difference… *incoherent giggling* BUT I’M STILL WAITING FOR THE BEST KISS DAMNIT! DON’T FAIL ME GONG YOO!!! 

Drumroll…. 

Gifs Credit | Rating : Sexiness = _(꒪ཀ꒪」∠)_, Dirty thoughts = ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ), Satisfaction = ∞ w/ too much salt

What more can I say about how much I am absolutely obsessed with this long over-due sexy make out between these two? Just look at how Shin launched at her… but at the same time Shin is such a gentleman as he stopped to make sure she was okay with it.. OF COURSE she would reply back enthusiastically! BUT I DIED WHEN SHE JUMPED AND WRAPPED HER LEGS AROUND HIM! OMG! AND FOR THE LOVE OF ALL MAKE OUTS, when Shin started planting kisses on her face and she was smiling from enjoying his touch… that was the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen!!! BUT DAMNIT! WHO THE FUCK CUTS IN THE MIDDLE OF GONG YOO AND KIM GO EUN’S KISSES??? WHY WOULD YOU DEPRIVE US OF THESE TWO WONDERFULLY AMAZING KISSERS??? WHY COULDN’T YOU SHOW US THE WHOLE DAMN THING??? (╯°益°)╯彡┻━┻

Seriously, the only issue I have with this kiss is that they abruptly cut the kiss at the GOOD part. They could have gradually transitioned out of the scene instead of just cutting in the middle of the kiss; they had plenty of time to add 30 more seconds – oh for goodness sakes, I would’ve been glad to see another hour. PLUS, WHY WOULD YOU NOT SHOW SOMETHING YOU TEASED US IN THE FUCKIN PREVIEW??? Two lovers who defied time, God, death, and were finally together would NOT just simply call it a night after sharing a passionate kiss on the couch AFTER staying together overnight in fuckin luxurious hotel (with probably a huge ass bed)… just saying. ┻━┻ ︵ヽ(`Д´)ノ︵ ┻━┻

And that’s all folks… I can’t really say that I’m completely satisfied since I love Shintak so much… It makes me sad that Gong Yoo and Kim Go Eun will probably never costar together again since it’s rare for people to costar together a second time. WHAT A SHAME! YOU HAVE TWO AMAZING KISSERS COSTAR TOGETHER AND THAT’S IT? Like I would have been okay if they didn’t show any skin… just some more steamy moments between the two because their love is so fuckin tragic that they deserve some more lovey dovey couple scenes. Ugh… just because I’m a salty grandma, friggin 15 age rating ruined it! At least the kisses got better and better and we got a few Gong Yoo certified kisses in Goblin. T.T 

“The kiss itself is immortal. It travels from lip to lip, century to century, from age to age. Men and women garner these kisses, offer them to others and then die in turn.” ~ Guy de Maupassant, The Complete Short Stories of Guy de Maupassant, Part One

Is it still worth it?

The sun stopped shining for me is all. The whole story is: I am sad. I am sad all the time and the sadness is so heavy that I can’t get away from it. Not ever.
—  Nina LaCour // Hold Still // Feelings

I’ve killed myself 12 times in my head today and I wish at least 1 of them was real