...it backfired

"it's easy" can make scary tasks scarier

When people are struggling or afraid to try something, well-meaning people often try to help them by telling them that the thing is easy. This often backfires.

For instance:

  • Kid: I don’t know how to write a paper! This paper has to be 5 pages long, and we have to do research! It’s so hard!
  • Parent: Don’t worry. 5 pages isn’t that much. This isn’t such a hard assignment. 

In this interaction, the parent is trying to help, but the message the kid is likely hearing is “This shouldn’t be hard. You’re failing at an easy thing.”

If something is hard or scary, it’s better to acknowledge that, and focus on reassuring them that it is possible. (And, if necessary and appropriate, help them to find ways of seeing it as possible.)

For instance:

  • Kid: I don’t know how to write a paper! This paper has to be 5 pages long, and we have to do research! It’s so hard!
  • Parent: It’s hard, and that’s ok. You can do hard things.
  • Parent: What are you writing about?
  • Kid: Self-driving cars. But I can’t find anything. 

And so on.

This isn’t unique to interactions between parents and children. It can also happen between friends, and in other types of relationships.

tl;dr If something’s hard for someone, telling them that it’s easy probably won’t help. Reassuring them that they can do hard things often does help, especially if you can support them in figuring out how to do the thing.



A princess accidentally wrongs a witch and is cursed so that no man shall ever love her. Fortunately, the princess is a lesbian, and is overjoyed. When the witch finds out her spell backfired she is furious, and goes to confront the princess. Except now that she’s a little calmer, the princess is super cute? Sparks fly, and not because of a magic spell.

Throwback to the 2nd ever MM fanart I did with this…because I find it highly relevant right now.

5

There’s a line in your film, The Passion of the Sinner, that always makes me think of this museum. [Diego Rivera Museum]My heart is not a clock.” - Beautiful line… made sublime by your performance. An apology… that is also an anthem.

How long do you think it took Steve Rogers to realize that his ‘look, son’ tone of voice was like an instant ticket to getting maybe 70% of people to immediately do whatever he was telling them to?

Because let’s be real here, Steve’s in his twenties. The only people he should be even remotely inclined to address that way are actual kids. But then he does the Captain America thing and is all Public Service Announcement-y and suddenly people have actual stars in their eyes and are just like ‘yes sir Captain America sir’, because for decades after he got frozen, the US government pretty much just used him as a propaganda tool and trained the entire population to see him as a moral compass and embodiment of goodness.

Only now that’s a tool in Steve’s own hands, and wow did that backfire on some of them lmao.

But yeah. Imagine Steve watching some weird video about himself from the 70′s maybe and he’s making fun of it and just trying to joke with some SHIELD secretary or something, going ‘son I’m going to need you to keep this off the books’ but then the next thing he knows this person who’s like, maybe four years younger than him at most is glancing covertly around the room and carefully deleting that day’s surveillance footage of the gym or whatever. Nodding once before going back to the sunny receptionist mannerisms.

And Steve’s just like ‘…huh’.

First of all, sorry for the slow responses! I forgot that I had to work a shift today, so I wasn’t around all afternoon. Which didn’t leave much time for me to write, but here I am, so lets do this (until I inevitably disappear to get some sleep)! Also I’ve gotten some very lovely asks but I wanted to write this down before I forgot. I thought of this headcanon while I was working and it’s too damn good not to share:


Alright, this happens at some point after CW but before Thanos shows up. The team (without Bucky, who’s still in Wakanda, working on getting his head cleared) is back in the US, having signed some form of revised accords. Steve is no longer team leader, but otherwise they’ve gotten off fairly easily with little repercussions. The tension between the old and new Avengers is obvious and especially Tony is met with outright hostility. It doesn’t help that Rhodey still isn’t in any shape to join the fights and is rarely around.

One day Clint signs Tony up for a parenting class. It’s another not-nicely-meant joke because of all the criticism Tony’s gotten for letting Peter fight. Only, the thing nobody expected? Tony actually goes. Because apparently he’s just that masochistic (apparently part of him still desperately wants to fix, to work things out between them). It earns him a lot of harsh ridicule, but Tony finishes it all the same.

Thing is, the Team Cap is so busy making fun of him, they don’t even notice when things start changing. Little things. When Steve walks into an argument between Clint and Tony and asks the latter “What have you done now?” disappointedly, Tony doesn’t snap something, get defensive or flee. He says “Have you ever noticed that you’re always immediately assuming I’m the one who has done something?”. It earns him another hurtful comment from Clint, and the incident is forgotten.

Until. Until, one day, during a debrief, Steve snaps. “She’s just a kid, Tony!” he yells when Tony keeps insisting on harder training for Wanda.

There’s a moment of silence, before, “Oh. Really? Does everyone agree with that?”

“You’re still not done catching up, Stark? So much for the futurist,” Clint sneers, and the matter is dropped. Or so it appears.

For the rest of the meeting, Tony is quiet. Thoughtful. In retrospect, they should’ve taken it for the warning it was.

That evening, when Wanda orders a new dress online, FRIDAY dispassionately informs her the transaction is impossible, as the price goes beyond her monthly allowance.

After a fruitless shouting match with the AI, she goes to Steve. Who (after a just as fruitless shouting match) goes to Tony. Who shrugs. “You told me she’s just a kid. Nobody, not even she herself, disagreed. I’m treating her like one.”

Suddenly, M-rated movies are inaccessible whenever Wanda is in the room. Once her curfew is reached, all electric devices go into sleeping modus (unless in case of an emergency of course). Talking with Tony, screaming at Tony, proves to be completely useless. Tony refuses to budge. Repeats lessons from his parenting class, about enforcing rules and teaching children boundaries.

And it doesn’t end there. The entire team is cut off from Tony’s money–Steve has to admit, he’s entitled to that, and maybe the team has gotten a bit too used to throwing Tony’s money around. That’s not the bad part anyways, they all have their own salaries from the government, they can still live. Just maybe a little more limited than before.

But suddenly the services they’ve become accustomed to are cancelled. They have to buy groceries themselves. There is no cleaning crew after Wanda throws a temper tantrum–she has to clean it herself or one of her ‘staunch defenders’, as Tony calls them, has to do it for her. New furniture doesn’t magically appear out of thin air, they have to buy it. And suddenly–suddenly the costs are starting to add up.

There’s a list pinned to the fridge one morning–on paper even–with their chores, going from doing the dishes to the laundry, that rotate every week. Who hasn’t fulfilled his one has to do all the chores the next week. FRIDAY keeps track of it, and barring missions and injuries, there are no exceptions.

Being grounded is an honest to god possibility now, including all electronics, for when they break one of the House Rules. And they are all enforced ruthlessly.

They all try to talk to Tony about it–they aren’t children, they don’t have to put up with this shit, it wasn’t funny to begin with, when is he gonna stop this already–but he remains unmoved.

It’s all “You told me Wanda is a kid,” and “I am allowed to set rules, considering you’re living under my roof. And there really is no excuse for breaking them, you are all aware they exist and why. They’re reasonable and you know it.”

And the most damning of them all. “If you’re so grown up and independent, you know where the door is. Walk out. This isn’t a prison, and you’re always welcome back, provided that you’re following the rules. You can walk away any time you want.”

Suffice to say, Clint is getting a lot of shit for signing Tony up for that parenting class. (Tony tells him he really appreciates it because clear communication is important.)

Witchy Song Suggestions

Hello Family! I am with you today to speak about some of the songs which I listen to when I am trying to manifest. I may suggest some *Some of these songs may fall into more than one category.* Feel free to add songs!

Love/Romance Magick:

  • Wonderful by Lianne La Havas
  • Serial Killer by Lana Del Rey
  • Lovefool by The Cardigans
  • Little Numbers by BOY
  • Love by Lana Del Rey
  • Romanitcise by Chelea
  • A Dream by Rachmaninoff - Sung by Dawn Upshaw
  • Morgen by Strauss - Sung by Barbara Bonney
  • Hey Now by London Grammar
  • Like I Can (Cover) by Jordan Smith
  • Golden Slumbers (cover) by Jennifer Hudson
  • Bittersweet by Ellie Goulding
  • Warm on a Cold Night by Honne
  • River Flows in You by Yiruma
  • L’heure Exquise by Hahn - Sung by Susan Graham
  • The Way I Am by Ingrid Michaelson
  • Giant Steps by John Coltrane
  • Red Arrow by Gem Club
  • Blue Skies by Ella Fitzgerald 
  • Long Time Ago by Trad/Copland - Sung by Nathan Gunn
  • Chi Il Bel Sogno from La Rondine by Puccini - Sung by Renee Fleming
  • Claire de Lune by Debussy - Performed by Xavier de Maistre
  • Che Gelida Manina from La Boheme by Puccini - performed by Vittorio Grigolo or Luciano Pavarotti 

Sex Magick:

  • Is It a Crime by Sade
  • I Put a Spell on You by Nina Simone
  • Teeth by Lady Gaga
  • All Night by Beyonce
  • Hey Now by London Grammar
  • Tear You Apart by She Wants Revenge
  • Hummingbird Heartbeat by Katy Perry
  • Pillowtalk by Zayn
  • Do What U Want by Lady Gaga
  • Off to the Races by Lana Del Rey

Money Magick:

  • Dog Days Are Over by Florence + The Machine
  • Feeling Good by Nina Simone
  • Coca Cola by Beth Hart
  • Digital Witness by St. Vincent
  • 6 Inch by Beyonce
  • Money Honey by Lady Gaga
  • Beautiful, Dirty, Rich by Lady Gaga
  • National Anthem by Lana Del Rey
  • Million Dollar Man by Lana Del Rey

Luck Magick:

  • Tokyo by Lianne La Havas
  • Dog Days Are Over by Florence + The Machine
  • Feeling Good by Nina Simone
  • Primadonna by Marina and the Diamonds
  • Q.U.E.E.N. by Janelle Monae
  • Evergreen by Yebba
  • Right Place, Wrong Time by Dr. John
  • No Roots by Alice Merton
  • When the World Was at War We Kept Dancing by Lana Del Rey
  • Nagual by Trifolia 
  • Make Me Feel by Janelle Monae

Beauty:

  • La fille aux cheveux de lin by Debussy - perormed by Xavier de Maistre
  • Venus by Lady Gaga
  • L’heure Exquise by Hahn - sung by Susan Graham
  • Unstoppable by Lianne La Havas
  • Radio by Lana Del Rey
  • Bel Air by Lana Del Rey
  • Breaking my Heart by Lana Del Rey

Binding:

  • Paradise Circus by Massive Attack 
  • Work Song by Hozier
  • Summer Bummer by Lana Del Rey
  • In My Feelings by Lana Del Rey
  • Brother Sparrow by Agnes Obel
  • Wallflower by Agnes Obel
  • Avenue by Agnes Obel
  • Gold Dust Woman by Fleetwood Mac (good cover by Karen Elson)
  • Up in Flames by Ruelle
  • Body Electric by Lana Del Rey
  • Circle the Drain by Katy Perry
  • No Roots by Alice Merton
  • Hit Me Like a Man by The Pretty Reckless 
  • Backfire by Lana Del Rey
  • Goodnight Moon by Shivaree

Baneful Magick (Curses and such):

  • Paradise Circus by Massive Attack
  • Wallflower by Agnes Obel
  • Strange Fruit sung by Nina Simone
  • Sinnerman by Nina Simone
  • Seven Devils by Florence + The Machine
  • Power and Control by Marina and the Diamonds
  • Teen Idol by Marina and the Diamonds
  • Kill of the Night by Gin Wigmore
  • The Rake’s Song by The Decemberists
  • Humans by Sevdaliza 
  • No Rest for the Wicked by Lykke Li
  • Killing Moon by Roman Remains
  • Bones by Ms Mr
  • Limbs by Widdowspeak
  • Yubaba (Spirited Away Score) by Joe Hisaishi
  • The Raven by Alan Parsons Project
  • Neverland by Sisters of Mercy
  • Countdown by John Coltrane 
  • In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida by Iron Butterfuly
  • Bloodletting by Concrete Blonde
  • You Know that I’m No Good by Amy Winehouse

Power Gathering: 

  • Death Defying Acts by Angus & Julia Stone
  • Django Jane by Janelle Monae
  • The Curse by Agnes Obel
  • Superpower by Beyonce
  • Spectrum (Song and Album) by Florence + The Machine
  • Sinnerman by Nina Simone
  • Edge of Seventeen by Stevie Nicks
  • Four by Miles Davis
  • Twice by Little Dragon (Lianne La Havas also does a beautiful cover)
  • Sarajevo by Max Richter
  • Retrograde by James Blake
  • Personal Jesus by Depeche Mode
  • With You In My Head by UNKLE
  • Out Alive by Ke$ha
  • Ninth Gate: Vocalise performed by Diana Damrau
  • Sunrise by Yeasayer
  • Castle by Halsey
  • Breath of Life by Florence + the Machine

Healing:

  • Dreams by Fleetwood Mac
  • Who You Are sung by Jordan Smith
  • Stevie’s Dream by Janelle Monae
  • Hunger by Florence + the Machine
  • Life Goes On by Fergie
  • Wonderland by Haley Reinhart 
  • Twice by Little Dragon (Lianne La Havas also does a beautiful cover)
  • Alive by Sia
  • Unbreakable Smile by Tori Kelly
  • Arabesque No. 1 in E Major by Debussy - Performed by Xavier de Maistre
  • Im Here from the Color Purple 

Meditation: 

  • Death Defying Acts by Angus & Julia Stone
  • Icarus by White Hinterland 
  • Love Drought by Beyonce
  • Twice by Little Dragon (Lianne La Havas also does a beautiful cover)
  • Sarajevo by Max Richter
  • Cranes in the Sky by Solange 
  • So Much More Than This by Grace Vanderwaal
  • Arabesque No. 1 in E Major by Debussy
  • La fille aux cheveux de lin by Debussy

Protection:

  • Safe & Sound by Capital Cities
  • Florets by Grace VanderWaal
  • Sarajevo by Max Richter
  • Alive by Sia
  • Ständchen  D.957 by Schubert - Performed by Evgeny Kissin
  • C’est L’extase Langoureuse by Debussy - Sung By Elly Ameling
  • The Fire by Kina Grannis
  • The Bird by Duke - Sung by James Taylor
  • Arabesque No. 1 in E Majoy by Debussy - Performed by Xavier de Maistre

Confidence:

  • Fashion! (Artpop) by Lady Gaga
  • ***Flawless by Beyonce
  • Bodak Yellow by Cardi B
  • Raining Men by The Water Girls
  • Sugar Pill by Kovacs
  • Q.U.E.E.N. by Janelle Monae
  • Oh No! by Marina and the Diamonds
  • Sisters Are Doin’ It For Themselves by Aretha Franklin
  • Land of Lola from Kinky Boots
  • Sex Is In the Heel from Kinky Boots
  • Screwed by Janelle Monae
  • I like that by Janelle Monae
  • Bad by Michael Jackson
  • Check it Out by Will.i.am & Nicki Minaj

Happiness/Just Good Vibes:

  • Blood (Album) by Lianne La Havas
  • Blue Skies by Ella Fitzgerald (or anything she sings)
  • Origami by Capital Cities
  • Pocket Full of Sunshine by Natasha Beddingfield
  • Rumors (Album) by Fleetwood Mac
  • Young Volcanoes by Fall Out Boy
  • Don’t You Worry ‘Bout a Thing (cover) by Tori Kelly
  • Seven Wonders by Fleetwood Mac
  • Happy by Pharrell 
  • Feel it Still by Portugal. The Man
  • Let’s Get Together by Beth Hart
  • Arabesque No. 1 in E Majoy by Debussy - Performed by Xavier de Maistre
  • Tightrope by Janelle Monae


I hope y’all find this useful! Feel Free to add songs! Also, email me at mojomidnight@gmail.com for any questions, follow my YouTube @ Mojo Magick for some Magickal content, and Be Blessed! 

Love, 

Mojo Magick