...i swear i can almost feel some chubby cheek on my fingertips

Lullaby

Christmas Truce gift for the lovely quigalchemist. Thanks so much for your patience, you’re a saint. This is a bit different from my usual work, a litle more loose and ambiguous, but the idea caught me and wouldn’t let go. I hope you enjoy. <3

-Hj

* * * * *

The other side of the bed was empty. Panic seared through his consciousness. Sam was gone. Sam was–Sam was

Then, far off through the darkness, from the end of the hall, he heard her voice:

“Hush little baby, don’t say a word,

papa’s gonna buy you a mockingbird,”

Every muscle in his body went slack. He stared up at the ceiling, gasping, chilled by his own sweat. It had been a dream. Just a dream.

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Temporary Affairs II

Table of Contents 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13

Chapter o8. Those Three Words 

“Omma!” a baby girl calls out for the first time.

“Oppa!!  Oppa!!  Did you hear that?” you pull your hubby over to look admirably at the little infant in her cradle. 

“What?  What did she say?” Jongin excitedly asks.

“Yoon-ie!  Say it again!  Say ‘Om-ma’.  ‘Om-ma’,” you teach, rubbing on her chubby belly. 

“Ommaaa,” the baby babbles. 

You turn to your husband to celebrate with him but when you turn around again, the cradle is empty. 

 

 

When you woke up, your cheeks were already drowned in tears.  Sitting in the chair beside your bed, Jongin lovingly stroked your hair.  You stared into his bloodshot eyes.  Absolute pregnant silence enveloped you for a few minutes.  You don’t make a single loud, neither does Jongin.  And you think that it’s a moment of silence – a tribute for your little daughter who ultimately decided that you were not good enough for another chance.  Then your worthless quivering lips destroyed this tranquil moment when it let out a small whimper.  And when it rained, it always poured.  Your wails were so lurid; you thought your throat would rip out of your body.  You cried and cried with all the energy within you, mustering all the power of your vocal cords.  Because it didn’t matter if you would never ever speak again because…because of your childishness and your uselessness, you made it impossible for you to ever hear your daughter call you, “Omma”.  You bawled so loud, you couldn’t even hear Jongin’s pleas for you to calm down. 

“Jagiya!  Jagiya!  Shh!!” he held onto your face to pin you down but you kept crying. 

And then you felt a soft kick in your stomach.  You sucked in air, your body sinking back onto the mattress. 

“Jagiya, the baby is fine, shh!  Please, Honey, calm down,” Jongin informed, probably for the tenth time. 

Tears continued to trail down the corners of your eyes.  Trembling, you lifted your hand onto your belly, expecting it to be flat, but it was still curved and plump.  You let out a whimper then commenced in another ear-piercing session of sobs.  Only this time, out of relief and not depression.  Yoona, does that mean you’re willing to give Omma another chance? 

 

“Shh…shh, Honey.  It’s okay.  Everything is okay,” Jongin kissed your forehead several times. 

Gradually, your cries quieted until they became five-second interval hiccups.  Sighing in relief, Jongin held onto your hand with one hand and with the other, poured a glass of water.  He lifted your head by your neck and you sipped the water as if you had been stranded in a desert for days.

“Want more?” Jongin asked when you hit rock bottom. 

You shook your head.  He bent over to peck you on the lips, causing your eyes to sting with warm liquid again.  Blinking it back, you looked down and patted your tummy a few times.  Thank you, Yoona.  Thank you for staying with me.  I swear I will do everything in my power to keep you safe. 

For the first time since you woke up, a gracious smile crept onto your lips.  Jongin leaned over and snuggled his forehead against the crook of your neck.  You turned around and kissed him on his temple. 

“Oppa…sorry,” you managed to talk for the first time. 

Straightaway, he lifted his head to look at you, “Why?  Why are you apologizing?”

“B-because I al-almost lost our ch-child,” you hiccupped.

“It’s okay.  It’s not your fault,” he coaxed, bringing the back of your hand to his lips. 

“Yes, yes it is,” you countered, “I’m always so clumsy and childish and unreliable”.

“No, you’re not.  And even if you are, it’s still not your fault.  What happened, happened.  But we’re fine now, we’re fine,” he concluded, silencing your wandering mind. 

At night, as you drifted off to sleep, you vaguely remember eavesdropping on a conversation between Jongin and another man.  From his voice, you deducted that it was Sehun.  They were sitting outside out your hospital room, chugging on cans of beer.  The soft clunking sounds of metal cans sounded like raindrops hitting against a puddle by the time it travelled to your exhausted brain.  And then you heard rhythmic noises that were similar to subdued weeping.

“I thought she was going to die…” Jongin sobbed.

Still in bed, tears rolled down your closed eyes.  I thought Yoona was going to die too. 

“I’m so sorry, Oppa,” you whispered but your voice faded before it reached Jongin. 

“I was so scared I’d loose her,” he continued.

I was so, so scared as well.  You covered your mouth so your cries didn’t disturb the two young men outside. 

“I was so scared, I was ready to give up my own baby as long as ________ was alive,” he managed to say before succumbing to his sobs.  

Your breathing stilled.  You stared blankly at the ceiling.  What?   

     

“I was so scared, I was ready to give up my own baby as long as ________ was alive,” Jongin’s words repeated in your mind. 

Finally, it dawned on you that the “she” he had been referring to was you and not the baby.  You lay there motionless, your pupils darting around the empty white ceiling.  And for some reason, you felt gross.  So disgusting as if your existence threatened the life inside of you – because if what you heard was not an illusion then Jongin had probably requested to give up saving Yoona for the chance that you would survive unscratched.  He didn’t.  He didn’t.  Why would he?  That’s impossible. 

 

You heard metal cans chunk together again. 

“Jongin-ah, believe me, I understand how you feel because I went through the same trauma when my wife got into a car accident while still pregnant with Youngwoo,” the other male replied. 

 

Sometime between the next chunking of beer cans and another confession from Jongin that he wouldn’t be able to live without you, your medication finally kicked in and you drifted off to sleep. 

When you opened your eyes again, Jongin was curled up on a makeshift bed made out of three plastic chairs lined up against each other.  He looked so uncomfortable.  Carefully scooting over, you brushed you fingertip along his furrowed eyebrows hoping to help loosen the tension.   

“I was so scared, I was ready to give up my own baby as long as ________ was alive”

You closed your eyes, wishing it were an illusion.  Yet, from your husband’s light pink cheeks to the miniscule stench of alcohol, you knew it was all reality.  The man before you stirred in his sleep.  Sighing, you lightly shook his shoulder to wake him up.

“Oppa…” you called. 

He continued to stir around.  You wrapped your hand around his arm to shake him again but paused when you felt the tightness of his tensed muscles.  You grimaced.

“Oppa…” you called again, this time louder.

Immediately, he jolted up.

“Yeah?!  Are you okay?  What’s wrong, Babe?” he asked in one breath. 

“I’m fine.  Can you join me in bed though?” you asked, lifting the blanket and patting on the empty space. 

“Okay…” he said and cautiously got on as if fearing that you’d break into shattered pieces if he weren’t careful enough. 

You snuggled up to him, relieved when his muscles loosened under your warm touch. 

“Are you feeling okay?” he asked.

“Mmhm, I’m fine, Oppa.  Why were you sleeping on those chairs and not with me?” you asked, pouting. 

“Because I was afraid I’d hurt you in my sleep,” he admitted. 

“What do you mean?” you asked.

“I was scared I’d twist and turn in bed…” he responded.

“So does that mean you’re never going to sleep with me ever again?” you frowned.

“Nooo, that’s not what I meant.  You just got out of surgery,” he reasoned.

“But I want you to cuddle with me.  Sleep here tonight Oppa, okay?” you suggested and he hesitantly nodded. 

You ran your fingers through his messy bedhead.  He slipped his arm under your neck and you snuggled closer to him.  Jongin’s breathing evened and his eyelids swung. 

“Oppa, can you promise me one thing,” you whispered.

“Sure, what is it?” he half-slurred, a bit delirious due to his exhaustion. 

“Promise me first,” you spoke. 

“Okay,” he replied.

Swallowing the lump in your throat, you said, “Oppa…if anything ever happens to Yoona and me and you had to choose only one…then save the baby”.

Your husband turned to you with eyes of despair that prolonged its stay for the next minute.   

“I…can’t do that…” he truthfully said, “because I can’t lose you”. 

Your lips quivered.

“I love you, Jagiya,” he confessed.

“I know…” you replied tearfully.

You’re not sure why the three words you’d been dying to hear, at this point in time, hurt so, so much.   

 

a/n: yay!  Yoona is okay hehe or is she?  ∋━━o(`∀´oメ)~→

Idk how I feel right now I feel like every chapter my emotions are all over the place #$2%@%$#%$#%#%$

Ya’ll send me some sexy Tao pictures

anonymous asked:

Jungkook rejecting Jimin (as always lol) but when no one sees he's watching Jimin focus videos and that one day get caught by Jimin fluff and smut please if possible ^o^

title: i’m just your early morning company (if you get me)

pairing: jikook

# of words: 2,253

notes: pwp, frotting, idk how it escalated to this

nobody knows what jeongguk does when he’s closed his bedroom door shut late at night.

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