...except that hat is kind of ugly but it still looks god on him

anonymous asked:

i just wanted to tell you, that i /adore/ your what-if harry potter one-shots. the newest one was lovely. i know you probably have a million things you want to write (love your giantkiller series too!!) but if you're looking for prompts at all, i'd /love/ to see your take on a what if harry had been born a girl.

They told the story differently. When they spoke in hushed whispers and in exultant shouts that Halloween about the Girl Who Lived, they did not wonder how she survived. They did not ask what hidden strengths of prophecy might lie under her skin. They talked of innocence. They spoke of purity. They murmured about blessings.

Harriet Lily Potter was left on the doorstep of 4 Privet Drive. They called her ugly and gave her Dudley’s hand-me-downs. They would tell people that she went to a boarding school for troubled young women. Dudley still offered to stick her head in toilets, and she still learned to snap back, “Really, Duds? The poor toilet’s never had anything as nasty as your head down it, it might hurt it,” and run.

Harry was the kind of girl who came home with scabby knees, who snuck the kitchen shears in the dead of night to snip her dark messy hair short. She wondered, as she curled up in her cupboard, if Vernon and Petunia would have loved a niece who was pretty instead of scrappy, who had soft hands and never burned the bacon at breakfast.

The story did not go much different.

When a giant banged down the door of the little shack on the little rock in the sea, Harry stood her trembling ground. When Hagrid offered her a happy birthday, a cake, a kindness, a hand, a new life, she took it.

When Harry stepped into Madame Malkin’s, Malfoy ignored her, eyes glazing over. Hagrid bought her an owl, eleven birthdays all wrapped into one.

When Harry asked if there was room for her to sit in his compartment on the Hogwarts Express, Ron said yes. She shared her candy. She told him he had a smudge on his nose.

When the first years all lined up on the steps, waiting to be let into the Hall and the Sorting, Ron went so pale all his freckles stood out. Harry shifted next to him, and then a girl with a flat nose, a round chin, and a sure twist to her mouth stepped in front of her and stuck out one bitten-nail hand. “Parkinson,” she said. “Pansy Parkinson. What are you doing hanging out with trash like Weasley, Potter? I can show you a better class of wizard.”

Harry curled her hands softly in her robes, still feeling like she was wearing a bathrobe and not real clothes. “I think I can figure that out just fine by myself, thank you.”

The story did not go much different. When the Hat called “POTTER, HARRIET” the hall went quiet, then filled with murmurs. It offered her Slytherin, but she thought of Parkinson’s sneer, of Ron’s smudged nose on the train, the way Molly had helped her through the platform entrance, and told it no.

“Then better be GRYFFINDOR,” it said and the red and gold table burst into noise.

There were five beds in the first year girls’ dormitory in Gryffindor Tower. Parvati Patil and Lavender Brown, both from good wizarding families, bonded immediately over Lavender’s sparkly purple nail polish.

Hermione’s hair was as bushy as Harry’s was a rumpled mess. “You could keep birds in there,” Parvati giggled to Lavender.

Nevy Longbottom was short, with rounded shoulders, rounded cheeks, plain brown hair. Her grandmother expected her to be good, but not brave. When the Hat had fallen over young Miss Longbottom’s eyes, it had sat even longer on her head, arguing silently with her small clenched fists. “Hat stall,” Ron had told Harry sagely in line, just as the Hat shouted out GRYFFINDOR.

“Is your name short for something?” Hermione demanded upon first introduction, as all the first years followed Percy Weasley up to the Tower, the girls clustered in the back. “It sounds short for something.”

Nevy went a slightly miserable red. “No,” she said. When they reached the dormitory proper, the first thing Nevy did was tuck Trevor the toad’s shoebox safely under her bed.

When Draco Malfoy stole Nevy’s Rememberall, Harry hopped on a broom. When McGonagall saw her snatch the tiny, glinting ball from the air, she dragged her off not to detention but to Wood and a new era of the Gryffindor Quidditch team.

Fred and George tracked her down to give her a congratulations and a pair of twinned grins, but at dinnertime the Chasers swooped down on their newest team member– Angelina Johnson, Katie Bell, and Alicia Spinnett. “Oh my god, you’re adorable,” said Alicia. “I want to ruffle your hair, can I ruffle your hair?”

“It’s not going to make it worse,” said Harry.

When Draco challenged Ron to a duel, Harry jumped in as his second as soon as someone explained the concept to her. Pansy, sneering still, always sneering, her face was gonna stick like that, cornered Draco and made him kick Crabbe out as his second and take her on instead. It was a trap, anyway, and Harry and co. just ended up running into a three-headed dog while running from Filch, but Pansy cared about the details of things.

When a troll got into the dungeons, Harry overheard Parvati and Lavender talking about Hermione crying in the bathrooms. She peeled off the back of the group to find her, Ron grumblingly and loyally at her heels.

The story did not go much different, except– when a dragon was born in Hagrid’s fireplace, it was Pansy who peeked through the windows, and Pansy who earned her own detention by catching them after hours without Harry’s Invisibility Cloak.

The story didn’t go much different, except– Hermione stayed up late studying, reading beneath the covers by light of a Lumos, chewing on the ends of the ball-point pens she had brought from home and only took out behind the closed doors of their dormitory room. Lavender curled up on Parvati’s four-poster and they painted each other’s toes. It turned out Nevy could do these tiny beautiful flowers picked out in nail polish, so they invited her up, too.

When the Yule Ball came, three years from those awkward first few weeks, Nevy wouldn’t practice her dance steps with an invisible partner. Hermione would enchant music to play and read her books while Lavender spun Nevy round and round their cluttered floor, leaping askew cauldrons and piles of scarves.

When they figured out about the Sorcerer’s Stone, they guessed wrong about Snape, they guessed wrong about Quirrell. Lavender and Parvati slept through the whispered argument Hermione and Harry had with Nevy, and the Petrificus Totalus that left her rigid in bed. They met up with Ron in the Common Roon and headed to the forbidden third floor corridor, three eleven-year-olds out to save their little part of the world.

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aphcutiepie  asked:

2p's thoughts on Christmas?? PS love the blog bbe keep it up c:

((Awww thank you cutie~))

Christmas

2P!America: He doesn’t go all-out for it like his 1P. If anything, he gets a little bitter because he has no one close to spend it with. This whole time of year makes him feel melancholic and he despises it. He hates all the long lines at malls and grocery stores, he hates all the cheesy city decorations, and he hates being constantly told to enjoy the holiday cheer. It takes a very, very good friend to get him to feel happy this month. Usually, that friend is Oliver. Without him, Allen would always have a real shitty Christmas.

2P!China: Christmas makes him feel lonely. He doesn’t like children, so it’s not like he has a house full of kids to celebrate it with. Instead, he spends the month buying stupid gifts for his friends, usually from some kind of joke shop. He once gave Allen a ‘cock-warmer’ sock with Rudolf on it (and started laughing before he’d even finished opening it). This time of year, he makes sure to take advantage of mistletoes, Christmas parties and champagne.

2P!England: As expected, he loves the holidays and Christmas is one of his favorites. He adores giving, along with wrapping the presents with fancy bows and cute pastel paper. He makes sure to give something to everyone he cares about, and is usually the one hosting Christmas and New Year parties. He likes eggnog too much for his own good and is learning how to make holiday chocolates. He knits Christmas sweaters, wears a different one each day of the month, and is basically the driving force of holiday spirit among the Second Players. (Also, he knows the lyrics to any Christmas song you can think of.)

2P!France: To him, this month is no different than any other, with the exception that people are a hell of a lot nicer to him than usual. He always notices this, and it’s one of the few wake-ups calls he gets a year. Everyone suddenly deciding to include him in stuff makes him realize how much he’s missing out on life, and even though he’d rather be alone, he decides to hang out with his friends more. He feels real shitty if he doesn’t. His friends usually notice this change of heart of Francois’s and it reminds them he’s not as emotionless as he seems.

2P!Russia: Most of the time, people see Ion as a stone-faced robot, but that all changes around the month of December. He’d decided long ago that there comes a time when he has to show people how much they mean to him, even when he’s usually rude or quiet around them. Everyone knows that Ion actually has a good heart, and not just because he hates fighting and war. Because of Christmas, Ion tries to smile more and to tell his friends honest things such as, “Thank you for being my friend.” It may not sound like much, but it is when it’s coming from him.

2P!Italy: He likes Christmas. He just won’t admit it. During this month, you might hear him groan a lot, you might see him pretend like he’s not having fun, and you might notice him yelling at his brother for putting lights on the house because those are not the right type of bulbs that he told him to buy, god dammit. He doesn’t mind getting stuffed into an ugly Christmas sweater by Flavio or Oliver, as long as it doesn’t say anything too stupid. In all honesty, Christmas reminds him of his younger days with Flavio, and those times were warm and happy so why not enjoy the nostalgia a bit? Also, he really likes those Belgian holiday chocolates. Shhhh, don’t tell anyone.

2P!Germany: Four words. IT. IS. CHRISTMAS. MOTHERFUCKERS. Lutz has a little too much holiday spirit for his own good. He has a habit of calling Luciano ‘the Grinch’ whenever he tells him to calm down. He sometimes joins in on Flavio’s Christmas caroling and wears a Santa hat during each of the twelve days of Christmas. He’s usually the life of the party at holiday gatherings, next to Oliver. Unlike him, though, he doesn’t love it mostly for the pretty things, but for the festivity and fun. Also, don’t ever agree to a snowball fight with him. Ever.

2P!Japan: He’s pretty much got an OCD for decorating his Christmas tree. No, Lutz, you cannot touch that ornament, it is hand-made real silver individually painted glass-blown straight out of the Kanishi Ornament Museum purchased from the fucking Nintendo creator who is dead by the way. Also, he thinks the hanging socks are cute. Winter is beautiful to him and as long as you don’t touch any of the perfectly placed decorations in his house, you won’t have him glaring daggers at ya.

2P!Canada: He’s not good at expressing his emotions, and the ways he tries to are certainly amusing. Christmas is one of the few times of year that he won’t look or act like a brick. It’s one of the times he’ll try not to yell at anyone, too. Around December, it’s not uncommon for him to walk around with fake reindeer antlers on his head with the most indifferent expression on his face. If he’s feeling nice enough, he might pick up small gifts for his friends. He won’t wrap them, but he’ll give them on Christmas Eve like, “I saw this and thought of you, so I bought it. Here.”

2P!Romano: He. Will. Sing. Carols. At. The. Top. Of. His. Lungs. And it will annoy the shit out of Luciano, or at least it’ll look that way. Flavio honestly believes in Santa Claus, but that’s only because Oliver convinced him (and still slips presents “from Santa” under his tree while he’s not looking). He even leaves him milk and cookies, to which Oliver gladly munches on when he’s asleep. The rest of the 2Ps know it’s Oliver, but they think it’s funny so none of them have told Flavio yet. Even they wouldn’t want to burst happy little Flavio’s bubble. He still believes in Santa to this day.

2P!Austria: He thinks Christmas is fun and gorgeous. Also, hot chocolate’s pretty great. One of his favorite things to do is lay on the couch by the fireplace with a blanket, a good book, a warm mug (probably the mug that Gilen gave him a few years back), and a nice view of Christmas lights from the window. Also, he invites Gilen over. All the time. He and Gilen exchange gifts every year, and they usually go outdoor ice skating at least once a week. The city lights look pretty and they sometimes go on walks to check out the Christmas festivals.

2P!Prussia: This month is one of the few times of year that he feels happy all the time. He’s usually a neurotic mess but it all halts for these special few weeks. Everything and everyone around him is so joyous and accepting that how could he not feel warm inside? It gets even better when he gets to spend it with his best friend, or his brother. Gilen is known to be a crybaby, yes, but around Christmas time he only tears up out of happiness. He’s one of those people who wishes Christmas could never end.

Rating: M

Description: In which Bill has plans, Stan has secrets, Mabel has sweaters, and Dipper has way more than usual to fret about. 

Tags: Older!Dipper, AU, Magic stuff happens, this is ridiculous


Warnings: Some sexual references, Bill being Bill

Notes: Part 1 of ?.

This originated as a short fic, then just sort of… grew. Wish me luck, and god help me. God help us all.

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