...but naw my humor is awful

anonymous asked:

I mean, I've said it once and I'll say it a thousand times: I'm always a slut for Red... normally in the context of lipstick or nail polish, but I'd take a good boning from you any day. Can't let the smokestack win, right? ;)

“doll, i wanna see yer red lipstick smeared and that polish chipping as ya drag your nails across my bones.  i’ll take ya up on that offer any damn day.”

Smirking, he holds up eight fingers toward Stretch and mouths suck it.  Stretch rolls his eyelights.

Still grinning, Red returns the hug, squeezing you against him in an effort to prolong it.  “ya’hear that, smokestack?  by far the coolest!”

“THAT CAN’T BE RIGHT!  THE COOLEST SKELETON IN THE LODGE IS RIGHT HERE, STANDING BEFORE YOU!  THAT HUMAN IN YOUR ARMS MUST BE NEW!”

“erm…”  Red sweats.  He can’t deny that Papyrus is cool, even if this one isn’t quite as cool as his brother.  “yer right, pap.”

Edge appears at the landing on the staircase; turns out, things you don’t want heard carry very well in the lodge.  “DID I SERIOUSLY JUST HEAR YOU AGREE WITH THAT CREAMPUFF VERSION OF ME?!”

Sweating intensifies.  “b-boss!  naw, i… i didn’t, uhh….”  He glances to Stretch for help, but he’s nowhere to be seen.  Red’s also still hugging the anon, but now it seems more like he’s using them as a human shield.  “everyone knows yer the coolest, i… we were talkin’ about second place!”

“THAT IS INCORRECT!  SECOND BEST IS OBVIOUSLY MY BROTHER!  HE MAY BE LAZY AND A SLOB AND HAVE A TERRIBLE SENSE OF HUMOR, ONLY MATCHED BY HIS EQUALLY-AWFUL EATING HABITS, BUT THE FACT THAT HE REMAINS COOL DESPITE THIS IS WHAT GIVES HIM THE SECOND PLACE SLOT!”

“aw, thanks pap.  i’m gonna have to make my own cool dude shirt now.”

“FRET NOT, BROTHER!  I’VE ALREADY PREPARED YOU ONE FOR THE OCCASION!”

It was (not) only a kiss.

What a magical moment. 

As a fan of anime for a long time now, I’ve seen how queerbaiting has driven frustrated fans to generate metas and fanworks faster than Yuri can run that potty mouth of his. 

As a queer person myself, I can relate. 

Having said that, the anime fandom can also be so homophobic in their denial that their fave protagonists could have canon romantic interests in men, if you’ve seen the way people stamp KawoShin as “perhaps romantic” despite saying “I love you” to each other, and creators making it pretty fucking obvious that they were meant for each other. 

As a kid, I was left screaming at the screen while watching Cardcaptor Sakura, “DOES TOMOYO LIKE SAKURA ROMANTICALLY OR NOT?? ARE TOUYA AND YUKITO A COUPLE OR NOT?” It took me 10 years and 2 wiki pages later to find out that the answer to both my questions was yes

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