...I ACTUALLY CAN'T STOP WRITING THIS SHIT

yes but there’s also 

  • ‘I’m hella sick but not old enough to purchase cough medicine and that sounds really pitiful coming from a college student but would you please go buy me some NyQuil???’ au
  • 'We made a bet at the beginning of the laser tag game to see who was better and guess who won. It’s time to pay up.’ au
  • 'Who keeps using my wifi?’ 'Literally everyone, your password is hella easy to guess.’ au
  • Tried to unlock the wrong car in the parking garage au
  • 'I’m on the FBI’s most-wanted list for killing a fuck ton of people, but calm down I just wanna date you bc your face is v smoochable and you give me butterflies.’ au
  • See also; 'Dating a most-wanted serial killer and never getting a heads-up before they come home covered in blood so you’ve gotta be ready to draw the curtains and hide a body every time you hear a car pull into the driveway’ au
  • 'We really should not have played Monopoly’ au
  • Life-sized version of Clue in the old manor on the hill au
  • 'I originally followed you on Instagram bc you’re hot and I’m thirsty but now I’ve developed actual feelings for you bc you’re a genuinely good person’ au
  • 'Fuck me you’re cute why did we have to meet on the one day I decided to stay in my sweats??’ au
  • 'I went to the bar last night bc I just got dumped and wanted to drink away my pain but then one thing lead to another and somehow I broke into your house thinking it was mine and now I can’t find my left shoe but are those waffles I smell?’ au
  • 'I saw that you were reading Eleanor and Park have you gotten to the part where she leaves him and if so can we talk about it because not a lot of people have read this book and I need a shoulder to cry on.’ au
  • 'You passed out in Disneyland and I’ve been taking care of you for the past two hours oh my god are you okay??’ 'Yes I’m okay but who the hell are you supposed to be?’ 'I’m the face character for Peter Pan but that’s not important’ au
  • 'I don’t really know you but I noticed that this creep has been trying to chat you up even though you’ve already turned him down, so I’ll pretend to be your boyfriend/girlfriend  until they leave you alone.’ au
  • Bonnie and Clyde au???
  • Attend same-sex privet schools that are right across the street from each other au
  • Masquerade au
  • 'I don’t like you and you don’t like me but our best friends just died in a car crash and left their one-year-old daughter in our custody so now we’ve got to act civil and end up falling for each other’ au
  • [Basically a Life As We Know It au]
  • 'Found your number inside of a library book that looks like it hasn’t been checked out in ages and decided to text you to see if it worked au
  • 'The biggest rule of immortality is to not get involved with mortals but whoops I was in a coffee shop one day and fell in love with you and now I’m freaking out bc in the grand scope of things we don’t get a lot of time together but fuck no please don’t leave me not yet no.’ au
  • 'I just moved into the apartment next door and I am 100% sure that it’s haunted bc this building used to be a hospital and anyway I heard I noise coming from inside the walls can I please just crash here for the night?’ au
  • 'I know that you’re really into school and probably don’t want to risk your spot on the college football team, but would you mind if I smoked in our dorm room??’ au
  • Followed by 'Nah, I don’t care, as long as I can shotgun some smoke from that pretty little mouth of yours.’ au wow that got sexual and I am not sorry.
  • Went to the beach for the first time au
  • Ancient Rome au
  • Rival team captains who know nothing about personal space and constantly get into fights where they end up face-to-face every single game until one day one of the coaches yells at them to either kiss or get back to the game au
  • 'Hey, so I might have just robbed a bank right now and I kind of need a getaway car, would you pleeeeeaaase help me I can pay you back in sexual favors but also cash.’ au
  • 'I know that you don’t know me, but you were on the receiving end of my girlfriend/boyfriend’s heart donation and being around you kind of makes it feel like they’re still here I’m sorry if that’s kind of weird.’ au
  • 'Shit I wasn’t watching where I was walking and ended up spilling my Rockstar all over your white sweater I’m so sorry here have my jacket.’ au
  • Caught yelling at Go, Diego, Go in the hospital waiting room and after an awkwardly long period of silence the other person joins in bc they’ve got nothing better to do with their waiting time au
  • 'The person living in the apartment across the wall to mine is a nymphomaniac and yeah okay they’re p hot but it’s v hard to write an essay on feminism when all I can hear is sexual screaming.’ au
  • It’s three am, I just wanted some clam chowder, and some how I ended up on Hollywood Bl. can you please tell me where a good restaurant is I think I’m going to cry.’ au
  • 'Fuck my ex just walked into the restaurant with their new girlfriend/boyfriend could you pretend we’re dating so they don’t think I’m hung up on them I swear I’ll pay you later.’ au
  • 'I work at the daycare that you drop your daughter off at every week and she got me sick.’ au
  • 'So I know we just met but it’s raining and my tent has a hole in it, could I sleep in your camper with you?’ au
  • 'Okay okay okay I know we’re just friends and I don’t want anything to change that but I may have told my mom that we’re dating so she would stop trying to set me up with people would you be up to going to my sister’s wedding as my plus one so my mom won’t know I lied?’ au
  • 'Hit me, we’re on college campus and you’ll have to pay for my tuition’ au
  • 'Your headphones aren’t plugged in all the way so that hardcore porn fic you’ve been listening to for the past ten minutes has been broadcasting through the bus on full volume.’ au
  • The Breakfast Club au
  • Wimbledon [the movie] au
  • West Side Story au
  • 'Constantly getting confused as the girlfriend/boyfriend of the lead singer for a heavy metal band bc I’m always going to concerts and getting backstage passes but I’ve never even met the lead singer until the day he/she got drunk and we hooked up in his/her tour bus [whoops now we’re actually dating shh]’ au
  • 'It’s two am, we’re standing outside of our apartment building bc someone pulled the fire alarm, and you look cold and unprepared, do you want to share my blanket?’ au
  • Heartache On The Big Screen au
  • Breakfast At Tiffany's au omg pls
  • 'The zombie apocalypse started two years ago I can’t believe I still have to work at this fucking book store.’ au
  • Long Way Home au
  • We like each other but our dogs don’t so I’m going to have to ask you to stop taking this walking route you attractive fucker’ au
  • 'Sometimes, your soulmate and the love of your life don’t end up being the same person. And that’s something I had to learn the hard way.’ Au
self-appreciation

a/n: for hoseok-wants-the-v and jpony because for some unknown reason they enjoy this and keep spurring me on to write weird fucked up shit ;u; cryiNG FOR YEARS

“so let me get this straight,” yoongi’s eyes close, breath shuddering in his throat. “you’re real. taehyung didn’t drug me.”

“nah,” suga replies, soft hands gliding all over yoongi’s bare skin to map out each familiar dip and curve. his lips trail after every touch, tracing a slow line over the plane of yoongi’s stomach. “there was a rift in the space dimension, and i took the opportunity to jump it while i had the chance. my galaxy is kind of boring.”

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i keep seeing comments/tags/post lately about how fic authors should always try to respond to comments to show love and appreciation to their fans, and i just wanted to take a moment to shout out to all those authors who can’t do that, whether due to other commitments, limited time online, or any number of mental or physical reasons that make it hard to reply. and i fucking hate this ‘it only takes two minutes’ and ‘it isn’t hard to reply to reviews’ mentality. you don’t have a clue HOW fucking difficult it can be for some people.

the great fandom secret is that no one is actually entitled to your time - and as much as we writers thrive on feedback and appreciation, please also remember to look after yourself, and put yourself first ♥

I hate how much people on this website hate on anything from DC, yet kisses Marvel’s ass. If DC makes anything, none of the DC fans will be able to enjoy it, because the marvel fans will start making fun of it in 0.2 seconds. Even gifsets made by DC fans(who worked hard on making said gifsets, for the enjoyment of other people who like the things in the said fucking gifsets), are being hijacked and ruined, because someone from the marvel fandom felt like adding a snarky ass comment about why they think “DC is terrible” or some stupid shit like that, and then that comment will make the post get like 20,000+ notes. Then other people will add more anti-dcu comments on the post that was originally created for the enjoyment of people who actually liked the thing. We’re not allowed to enjoy anything without some Marvel fan coming in and ruining it for us. MARVEL FANS ARE THE ONES WHO ARE CONSTANTLY SHITTING ON DC TO THE POINT WHERE IT’S HARD TO FIND POSTS THAT HAVEN’T BEEN RUINED. WE CAN’T ENJOY ANYTHING WITHOUT IT BEING SHIT ON BY TUMBLR AND I’M SICK OF IT. IF YOU DON’T LIKE DC THEN THATS FINE BUT LEAVE US ALONE. STOP ACTING LIKE IMMATURE ASSHOLES AND LET ENJOY THEIR FAVORITE SUPERHEROES WITHOUT CONSTANTLY RUINING THE FUN FOR THEM.

anonymous asked:

Do you think they really kissed? i didn't even know about karlie and taylor's friendship back in 2014 but i remember a lot of articles about them being bffs. there were pap photos, vogue cover, etc and suddenly it just stopped. and then i remember that weird insta photo that taylor posted on karlie's birthday...

Oh god pre-kissgate kaylor is such a blur at this point tbh. So idk what you’re aware of specifically? But in my view Kaylor history can be divided very neatly into two separate eras: BKG (before kissgate) and AKG (after kissgate) and both are going to inform my answer to your question. So the first part of this is a very basic Kaylor timeline and the second part is my actual answer. (This got long, I’m really sorry.)

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Finally had the time to draw Misha Collins as Castiel again my fingers are nearly all covered with these black chalk pencils and it’s almost a wonder that I’m still able to type this short text right now. Actually I don’t think that anyone would read that senseless shit I’m writing right now so I guess I just stop here haha thanks for your attention.

imagine Rocky and Ellington watching tv and they start making out and it quickly becomes a little more heated and one of them accidentally presses a button of the remote with their elbow, which changes the channel

so they’re both lost in their actions and totally horny as they suddenly hear
“Hey, I’m Ross Lynch from Austin & Ally and you’re watching Disney Channel!”

and Rocky groans in annoyance while Ellington literally loses his shit and doesn’t stop laughing for several minutes until he goes “leave it to Ross to be a cockblock without actually being in the room”

BUT PERIDOT

- New theme INCLUDING Peridot
- Peridot actually /defending/ the Crystal Gems when that rescue ship comes
- PERIDOT BEING FORCED BACK INTO HER GEM BECAUSE SHE PROTECTED STEVEN OR AMETHYST WITH HER BODY AND REEMERGING WITH A NEW DESIGN WITH STARS AND SHIT BECAUSE SHE ACTUALLY LOVES THEM AND THINKS THEY’RE WORTH PROTECTING (yeah Peridactyl, we all saw through that “some things are worth protecting” spiel)

anonymous asked:

theres a quote out from zayns book which says "I thought louis would never stop being my best friend. I was wrong." my heart is broken in a million tiny pieces holy fuck that's so sad I can't breathe.

I looked through the update accounts and can’t seem to  find verification that this is actually a thing. If it is a thing? I am 100% unsurprised.

Zayn did NAHHHHT write this book. There is incontrovertible proof that this book was a Business Hoe deal made by 1DHQ and it was prepackaged and sold. It’s going to be used to drive every shit narrative, though (with pretty pictures!), and the top narrative that we’ve been hearing in every print interview is Zayn vs. 1D. 

Don’t be sad, pickle. Zayn and Louis are fine. Pinky promise.