• WARNING: see below


Warning: Please don’t listen to the audio if you are in any way uncomfortable with sexual things. This Audio was included as part of proof in a call out post I should’ve made a while ago.

I’m sure everyone knows the story of how I met Ultima. It’s quite a funny story actually, I insulted his teeth on a livestream and that led to us getting an interview arranged. Shortly after he interviewed me and Vade, we starting talking a decent amount. It was clear he wanted to date me, and I told him that that summer I just wanted to focus on my studies, but he insisted that we give each other a chance. So I agreed, and we started going out early August. There were a few things that made me uncomfortable in the relationship, but nothing that I thought was damning. He was very insistent that we sext, even when I repeatedly told him no. However I figured it was just a thing that happened in online relationships, since I had previously never had one, and went with it. Nevertheless, we dated for about a month until I fully realized that this wasn’t attractive to me, and that he as a person wasn’t attractive to me, and I tried to break up with him.

I’ll say now that I was definitely not sinless in this relationship, and didn’t stand up for myself in times that I should’ve. I let things happen that I shouldn’t have let happen, and for that I do apologize. I’m obviously not very experienced, and he took advantage of that. When I tried to break up with him, he said a lot of things that set off the Psychologist alarm bells in my head. He told me only he would ever treat me well, and that I would never find someone who would give even half the same kind of love of respect. I’ll find the exact quote: “The worst part of all of this is that YOU are the one who will be losing the most in this situation. I will move on and you will be the one who has a higher chance of regretting the decision to just let me go.”

He then said he would forgive me for this “mistake” if I just agreed to drop it and get back together with him. I insisted that this was my decision that I wanted to make and that was that. A few days later, he contacted me saying that he wanted to get back together. I declined. A few weeks later, he again insisted that we get back together, and that even if we didn’t he asked if he could fly up to my apartment in December and have sex. I again declined. By this point I was dating hawker, and specifically told him we were together. He again asked if we wanted to get back together. I told him quite forcefully that I was dating hawker, and insisted he stop asking.

He still asked occasionally, but it wasn’t until December that I really realized what was going on. Ultima sent me an audio. Remember, this is about 2 months after me and hawker started dating, and he was fully aware of this fact. He sent me an audio fantasizing about having sex with me, completely out of the blue. (AUDIO IS INCLUDED ABOVE). REMEMBER THIS WAS AFTER I HAD REJECTED HIM AND HE KNOWS IM GOING OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE. It was around that same time I got some more information.

Jenn came to me and asked a question about Ultima. She told me what had happened (see her blog), and I immediately told him that both the audio and the fact that he did this to Jenn really made me uncomfortable, and I didn’t want to be in contact with him further.

A bit of time passed, and more inconsistencies started to pop up. Upon asking around, both Camila and others he had interviewed had a similar experience. Then, when I confronted him about him pestering other people to date him as well, he blatantly lied to me, saying that they were the ones who had pursued him. Then things began to unfurl, and I realized he had been manipulating and pestering almost every woman he had interviewed.

I didn’t want to make this post to be a vindictive bitch, or to throw him under the bus or anything. I just really wanted to warn people about what type of person he actually is. By all means, if you like his content, watch his content, but don’t think for a second that he is the person he says he is.

I honestly was fooled by his nice guy approach. When Vade and a few more friends told me that he was doing some really questionable things, I defended him. Even now, I’m still feeling a little bad for doing this. But I also got into this mess by not saying what I needed to say when I needed to say it, so I’m going to do that now.

If you are a woman that he’s interviewed and he asks you out, think very carefully about if you want to say yes. Don’t let him pester you, and don’t let him get his way. If he sends you explicit pictures, block him and report him. 

This is also hopefully to show him not to do this in the future. I’m sincerely not trying to ruin his life, and I’m pretty torn up about doing this, but it needs to be done. 


The moment Isak signed up…. as Even’s boyfriend.

Yuuri and Grief/Loss as it Applies to his Career (and Victor)

Following my Victor and Grief post, here is a look at Yuuri’s perspective to his feelings of grief and loss surrounding his own career. Unlike Victor whose perspective we didn’t get until later episodes, Yuuri’s has been laid bare for us since episode 1. We’ve gotten the chance to hear his thoughts in specific moments and watch his evolution throughout the course of the show.

So one thing that I think will come as a surprise to absolutely no one is that he has been grieving over the loss of his career since episode 1. And added to that is that he accepted this loss by the time episode 12’s hotel scene rolled around.

Let’s take a moment to quickly review what kinds of loss Yuuri has been working through.

In the interest of not repeating a huge chunk of text that I already described at the beginning of my Victor post, I’m going to point you to it here and only describe the portions here that apply to Yuuri.

The type of loss that Yuuri works through during the show would fall under the category of Anticipatory Loss. In short, this is the anticipation of loss, regardless of whether the loss will actually come to pass or not. Victor says “I’ll get you gold at the GPF” but never actually states during the entire show that his coaching and time with Yuuri will end there. That interpretation of his words is entirely on Yuuri’s end. Yuuri then spends a lot of time convincing himself that he is going to lose Victor when there’s been no confirmation on whether that will actually happen or not.

The impact of Yuuri’s loss very clearly falls under the category of Compound Loss. It’s easy enough to see that through losing his career he feels like he is going to lose a lot more (the future tense and focus on how he feels about it are important as his loss is about something he feels he is going to lose in the future). He would be losing his role, identity, direction, and more. But most importantly he’d be losing his relationships, both with his friends/fellow skaters (Phichit for example) as well as with Victor, both before he knew him (he’d lose his chance to ever get to know him in any capacity) and after (he’d lose the relationship he had grown with him as a person and not just a skater).

As you can see, none of that really comes as a surprise because Yuuri himself has basically told us as much. So let’s get into the 5 stages and see where they play in.

Keep reading

  • youngjae singing and sometimes screaming
  • who knows man

#HappyBirthdayToYoo #YjayBabyDay - jae havin a good time (ft dae’s sound effects and yongguk’s laugh) vs jae’s voice echoing in our souls

credit: x (nana jung’s vid of them singing lies but it’s been taken down) x