• Sirius: So Muggles actually believe that little green men come down from the stars and pull them into their flying plates and stick shit up their arses for fun?
  • Remus: .... Pretty much, yeah.
  • Sirius: Where the bloody hell did they come up with that?
  • Remus: There's actually a lot of people who have come out and said they've experienced this kind of encounter.
  • Sirius: IT'S TRUE!!?!
  • James: Wait -- do I go on a date before or after I let them probe me?
  • James: Should I call them after or should they call me? This is important. I don't want to seem needy, Remus.
  • James: What if they think I look fat in these jeans?
  • James: I want to come across as suave but like, not too arrogant...
  • Remus: ...............
You shot me in the face!

We have a party of four, an Elf Ranger (Me, DM), a Half-Oni Barbarian, a Tiefling Wizard, and a Dwarf fighter. The party stopped for the night to rest, but the Barbarian and myself decided to go hunting. We come back to an empty camp, as the Wizard knew the Rope Trick spell, and decided that he and the Fighter were going to play a prank on us, but no one knew that he did. The following Ensues:

Barbarian: Hmm? The camp is empty. Where are they?

Wizard: *from 50ft above party* *sticking his face out of the invisible box* Hello down there, you two!

Me, as DM: Alright, let’s roll perception to see if we know where [Wizard]’s voice just came from.

*Barbarian rolls low, does not know*

*I, as the ranger, roll a nat1*

Me, as DM: Oh… [Ranger] looks up, and sees what he thinks is a bird. He draws his bow and fires at it… *rolls attack roll* And hits [Wizard] in the cheek for 7 damage.

Wizard: Ouch, my face!

The Wizard and Fighter then proceeded to come down, failing the acrobatics checks for the rope, both falling when they got near the bottom, the Fighter on top of the Wizard, dropping the Wizard’s HP to 0

My eyes started to well up with tears. Up until that moment I’d never really understood sadness. The fierce, mob-like sadness that would come over me, clear and strong. Where did it come from? Was it real? This sadness that crept up and cut through all of my routines and my boredom and my repetition and my drama, like a sliver of glass piercing my flesh and sticking in the soles of my feet?
—  Bae Suah, from Nowhere to Be Found tr. Sora Kim-Russell

Lemony Snicket’s The Bad Mood and the Stick is set to release on October 3rd, 2017, courtesy of Little, Brown & Co.

Official synopsis:

Once there was a bad mood and a stick.
The stick appeared when a tree dropped it.
Where did the bad mood come from?
Who picked up the stick?
And where is the bad mood off to now?
You never know what is going to happen.

  • First off, he’s the sexiest motherfucker to ever grace the fictional world in the history of literature so props to J.K Rowling…
  • He borrows your hair ties…
  • You like to run your hands through his hair…
  • He’s moody and clingy and doesn’t like being away from you…
  • You talk to James about it when you first start dating…

“Pads is fucked up for sure but he’s the greatest man I’ve ever known. Dunno where I’d be if he hadn’t come along, so you gotta stick to him, nobody else will.”

  • He’s really big on PDA because it pisses off his brother…
  • Everyday he has something interesting to share…
  • He sneaks food for you almost every day…
  • You both utilize the secret passage ways until the care taker almost catches you…

“Did you know that there are only three words in the entire English language that begin with the letters d and w?”
"I know." 
“Dwindle, dwell and-?”

  • He likes your signature matching couples bedhead… 
  • He likes falling asleep using your stomach as a pillow… 
  • You’ve never felt unloved around him… 
  • When girls try to flirt with him he’ll make a big show of kissing you dramatically so they’ll go away… 

“Your breath smells, get off me!”
“My breath does not smell.”
“Pads, for the love of Merlin brush your teeth before kissing me.”
“What are you? My mother?”
“Snogging your mother now, are we?”

  • Sometimes he gives your bum a little squeeze because it makes you squeal and he thinks it’s cute… 
  • You braid his hair a lot when he falls asleep… 
  • He goes through a photography phase and is constantly claiming you as his ‘muse’… 
  • When it’s cold out he’ll come up behind you to slip his hands into your front pants pocket 'for warmth’… 
  • You kiss his hands when he’s stressed… 

“Love you, y’know?”
“I know, baby. Go to sleep now, go on.”

“My grandma really likes flowers, and grew a lot of flowers on one side of the courtyard. Around the time when the flowers had been pollinated and was about to yield kiwi fruits, I took a stick and knocked them all down. Grandma was very angry, and said "Why did you do that?” as she burst into tears. That was just too horrible, to this day my heart still aches. From that time on, I’ve come to really care for flowers and plants. When there’re flowers around I would be very careful where I step, and when I walk I would be more cautious than ever.“

in 20 days ☺

101 Drabble Prompts

I was in a writing mood today, but am still burdened with writer’s block. So, I made some drabble prompts. I wrote most of them, but I took a few from tv and movies as well. Please feel free to use them and go ahead and change any pronouns you want. *Edit: Please reblog this post. Do not take these prompts to compile your own list and then pass it off as your own.*

1 “Will you please just give me a hand?”

2 “Why is there a drunk man sleeping in the bathtub?”

3 “Where did that cat come from?”

4 “How could anyone be that cruel?

5 “Why choose me?”

6 Do you like me? Check yes or no.

7 “I’m sorry, run that by me again.”

8 “It’s not nearly as bad as it looks, Darling.”

9 “Frankly, I couldn’t care less.”

10 “How did you get that to stick to the ceiling?”

11 “I do the best I can.”

12 “I don’t know where she gets it from.”

13 “Honestly, I’m just relieved.”

14 “You broke what?!”

15 “Why don’t you say that to my face?”

16 “Want to know a secret?”

17 “You’ve got to be kidding me!”

18 “Bring your pretty little butt over here.”

19 “Is that what I think it is?”

20 “Is that real?”

21 “We have to pretend to be married.”

22 “Excuse me if I don’t believe your psychic friend.”

23 “Why are you dressed like that?”

24 “I’ll sleep under the sheets, you sleep on top of them.”

25 “I thought we talked about this.”

26 “Why are you lying?”

27 “That guy at the bar keeps staring at you.”

28 “I need you to peel five pounds of potatoes!”

29 “It’s been fun. We’ve had a good run, but you parked in my spot. I’m going to have to kill you now.”

30 “It made a difference to me.”

31 “I shouldn’t have even been there!”

32 “I don’t know why I’m crying.”

33 “You were my new dream.”

34 “I had a nightmare about you and just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

35 “At what point did you think that was a good idea?”

36 “Look, I don’t have much time, but I wanted to say I love you.”

37 “You had me at ‘free pizza!’”

38 “I am not losing to you again!”

39 “Why don’t they just kiss already?”

40 “Are you okay?” “Why do you ask?” “You’re wearing two different shoes.”

41 “I think I picked up your coffee by mistake.”

42 “Is that an apology?”

43 “Why do you always do that?”

44 “I can’t get enough of the stuff!”

45 “Oh, why did I eat that? I think I’m dying!”

46 “All I wanted was your honesty.”

47 “You have to make a choice.”

48 “How did you get up there?”

49 “I found it!”

50 “Do you ever stop eating?”

51 “Why are you always pushing me away?”

52 “Just talk to me!”

53 “I can’t get you out of my head.”

54 “Not a day will go by that I won’t think of you.”

55 “I didn’t ask for any of this!”

56 “The sign said not to push the button, so naturally I had to push it!”

57 “Will you just shut up for a moment so I can say something nice to you!”

58 “Where did you find this?”

59 “I’m so sorry! I will never doubt you again!”

60 “I can’t explain right now, but I really need you to trust me.”

61 “Well, this is awkward.”

62 “That came out wrong.”

63 “I never believed in soulmates until I met you.”

64 “You deserve so much better.”

65 “I think you’re just afraid to be happy.”

66 “I’m up to the challenge.”

67 “I didn’t know you were so competitive.”

68 “I didn’t know you could cook.” “Oh, trust me I can’t.”

69 “You know my name?”

70 “I didn’t realize I needed your permission.”

71 “This is so going on Youtube!”

72 “That is not coming in this house!”

73 “Oh, you beautiful weirdo!”

74 He looked at her like she was the moon. She looked at him like he was the sun.

75 “Guess who’s going to be a father?”

76 “The joke’s on them.”

77 “That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard!”

78 “I do not snore, do I?” “Like a chainsaw.”

79 “I never meant for anyone to get hurt!”

80 “I’ve never felt this way about anyone before… and it scares the crap out of me.”

81 “You weren’t supposed to hear that.”

82 “I love you more than anything in this world… which is why you have to stay here.”

83 “I trusted you!”

84 “You have to remember!”

85 “Wake up! Please, please wake up.”

86 “Please just leave.”

87 “I don’t want to hurt you.”

88 “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were trying to seduce me.”

89 “Meet me on the roof in ten minutes.”

90 “Meet me on the bridge in an hour.”

91 “You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

92 “You are nothing like them.”

93 “You have the most amazing eyes.”

94 “Are you hitting on her for me?”

95 “What other hidden talents do you have?”

96 “I can manage on my own.”

97 “Since when do you drive a motorcycle?”

98 “You look good for your age.”

99 “I can arrange that.”

100 “When I come back, that better be exactly where you found it!”

101 “I love you. I’ve loved you since the moment I first laid eyes on you and – Oh, screw it!” ((This is preferably where they just go for it with a kiss.))

Well, there you go. Hope you enjoyed! Have fun!

(Want more? Here’s Another 101 Drabble Prompts)

mokstagger  asked:

I really like Mr. Invisible. Do any of the girls beside Tina stick around? And did you ever come up with a name for the mummy girl?

Only the Axolotl (Bambi) shows up a second time. I didn’t figure out a name for the Mummy girl, but was thinking of doing a comic where I revisited some of the girls. Here’s the concepts I never did anything with from 2015.

Max sitting with the Milking Mothers and they teach him how to knit.  He starts knitting for relaxation and makes random things.  

Furiosa finds a brightly colored cozy on the stick shift of her new war rig.  It’s so weird but so precious she can’t remove it.  

War pups with misshapen knit hats on.  

Big, tough, War Boys with little black knitted baggies tied to their belts.  

Max makes new fingerless gloves for Dag, in a really garish bright green yarn since she works with the plants.  She doesn’t really like them but wears them anyways because a gift carries the giver’s warm spirit in it.

Max leaves a light yellow pouch for Toast…she is confused but oddly delighted.  No one has ever given her a gift before.  

Capable requests a shawl and Max tries to make something somewhat “pretty”, so he asks his knitting mentor how to make something different, but he ends up making something that looks like an old fish net.  Capable still loves it because it’s unique.

The next try he nails it, perfect shawl, in Cheedo’s favorite colors.

He makes a few more for the Vuvalini and some of the younger girls at the Citadel.

He makes one more, out of dark blue and aqua-marine colored yarn with flecks of light green and tan.  He’d been saving this yarn for a while.  It reminds him of the ocean where his home used to be, but it also reminds him of his new home, where he is now.  He puts it away and insists he just made it to keep his hands busy, but everyone else knows why he made it.  Capable snatches it when he’s not around and leaves it for Furiosa, with a note that simply says, “from Max”. 

Where did you come from? Why are you here? Either way I am delighted to have all of you as my followers. I am grateful you decided to bear with me through my exploration of my muse, my shitposting, and my random headcanons. I am especially grateful for everyone whom has sent in asks, started threads, or generally just interacted with me.

I hope to stick around for some time to come as you inspire me to write and imagine. My goal is to produce the same quality if not better content in my writing and this blog as the days progress. Specific shout outs under the cut.

Keep reading

OH and i can finally say this omg - electioneering spoilers Ahead - so i was like. trying to figure out if there was any way charlie and dee could get custody of brian, and i did some surface-level digging and it seemed like there was obviously a legal concept of third-party custody, where a relative can come in and take custody of a child, but i needed specificity like i really needed to stick the landing on this one and i literally googled like “pennsylvania custody law 1952 uncle” and the very first result was the full text of a custody order from 1952 where the dad was emotionally neglectful and the mom was a Sexual Deviant and the kid’s aunt and uncle swooped in and adopted the kid like it Literally could not have been more relevant i still can’t believe it

She's Mine - Carl Grimes

“Can I get a Carl Grimes/Ron Anderson love triangle imagine where the reader came from the prison with Carl’s group and they’re dating, but once they get to Alexandria, Ron tries to break them up by getting the two mad at each other so he can have her.”

Me and Carl had been dating since the prison. We had been through thick and thin together, always sticking by each other’s side. Right now we were in Alexandria. Rick had told us to go meet the other kids our age, so we did.
We walked to one of the kid’s houses where Rick said they all were. I knocked on the door and we waited. Jessie answered. “Hey guys, come in! The kids are upstairs, go right on up,” she welcomed us with a smile. We thanked her and walked upstairs. “Hey, I’m Ron,” a boy said, standing up from playing video games to greet us. “Hi,” I greeted back. “Hey,” Carl said, staring at the tv. “So this is Mikey,” he pointed to the other boy, “and this is Enid,” he pointed to the girl. “Hey,” Mikey said, not even looking up from his game. Edin didn’t say anything, too busy reading a comic book. “So, um, you have video games?” I questioned.
Ron chuckled a bit. “Yeah, do you guys wanna play?” We both nodded and sat down.
Ron seemed nice.

The next day I was walking around the compound, taking it all in. It was peaceful, I felt like I could forget the outside world for once. I was walking alone for a while before Ron started walking next to me. “Hey y/n.”
“Hey Ron, what’s up?”
“Nothing, just wanted to come say hi.”
“Oh, that’s nice of you.”
We walked in silence for a little while, and I developed a strange feeling.
“So y/n, are you and Carl, ya know, dating?”
“Yeah, actually we are. Have been for about a year or so. Why do you ask?”
“No reason. Except I saw Carl staring at Enid yesterday, it kinda seemed like he might like her.”
I stopped dead in my tracks. “If he really was staring at her, he was probably looking at the comic book she had in her hand.”
“Well, I don’t know. Maybe you should talk to him about it.”
“Ron I’m not gonna start anything over him looking at some girl’s comic book. That’s just stupid.”
“I’m telling you, he wasn’t staring at that, he was staring at her.” He folded his arms.
“Well, thanks for telling me. I better be getting home.” I turned and walked away.
“See you later, y/n!” Ron yelled. I didn’t respond.

I walked into the house, taking a seat at the kitchen counter. “Hey babe, how was your walk?” Carl asked, sitting next to me.
“It was going good, until Ron started walking with me.”
“Why was he walking with you?”
“I don’t know. He asked me if we were dating, and once he found out he told me he saw you staring at Enid.”
“What? That’s stupid, I wasn’t. I glanced at the comic book she had in her hand. I didn’t stare at her at all,” he said in an honest tone.
“That’s what I said, and he said that you were staring at her.”
“I wasn’t, I can promise you that.”
“Why did he tell me that?” I asked, confused.
“I really don’t know.”

Over the next few days, I started talking more to Mikey and Enid. Enid was really shy, but Mikey was really nice. I went to his house to play pool while his dad was at work. We played a few rounds, then decided have a snack and play a board game. Then I went home.
I walked into the house, plopping down on the couch.
Carl came in looking angry. “Why did you go to Mikey’s house?”
“To play pool. Also how do you know, I didn’t tell you yet,” I stated, confused.
“Ron told me. He said he saw you leaving there. Why were you there?” Carl demanded.
“Carl, we played pool. And then we played a board game. That’s all that happened.”
“Sure it is. You like him don’t you?”
“What? No! Where the hell did you get that?”
“Ron said he’s been seeing you talk to Mikey a lot lately.”
“I’m allowed to have friends. There’s nothing more than that between us.”
“Sure,” he spit.
“Who are you gonna believe, your girlfriend or some guy you just met?” I asked.
Carl looked confused. “Do you think.. Do you think that he’s trying to break us up?” He asked.
It was all clear now. “You know, I think he is. Why else would he tell me that he thought you were staring at Enid, and then tell you he thinks I like Mikey?”
“That’s gotta be the reason.”
“But why would he do that?”
“He probably likes you. And that’s just too fucking bad because you’re my girl. I’m gonna go talk to him.”
“I’m coming with you.” We walked out of our house and went to Ron’s.
Carl knocked on the door and Jessie answered. “Is Ron home?” He asked.
“Not at the moment, he’s out taking a walk,” she answered sweetly.
“Okay. Thanks Jessie.” Carl said and we turned to go look for Ron.

We found him sitting on a bench. He stood up when he saw us walking towards him. “Hey guys, what’s up?”
“You need to stop,” Carl said in a very stern tone.
“Stop what?” Ron asked innocently.
“Trying to pin us against each other. You tried to get y/n mad at me, and then you tried to get me mad at y/n. Well, your little plan isn’t working.”
“What plan?”
“I know you like y/n. I mean, why else would you be trying to break us up? But one thing you need to understand is that she’s my girl, and you won’t take her from me,” Carl said, fists balling up, inching closer to Ron, clearly intimidating him.
“I-I’m sorry. I really thought that she and Mikey were up to something, that’s why I-”
“Oh shut the fuck up. You just wanted to get involved in something you had no business in. I don’t like you. Get over it. I’m with Carl, and you need to respect that. Because if you don’t, I will personally kick your ass. Understand?” Now it was me getting in his face, backing him up.
“Y-yeah. I’m sorry,” he stuttered out.
“You better fucking be,” I spit out, turned around and walked off with Carl following me.
“What?” I asked, confused.
“I had no idea you had that in you.”
“I get very protective over people I love.”
“I can tell. Man, am I lucky to have you.”
I smiled at him. I grabbed his hand and we walked back to our house together.

So I have a headcanon that Karen takes a pregnancy test without telling Frank, but before she can see the results she gets a call telling her about a development in a story she’s writing and immediately runs out leaving the stick on the sink and Frank comes home from buying dog food and sees the little positive sign and fLIPS THE FUCK OUT BECAUSE WHERE THE FUCK DID THIS COME FROM AND THEN HE RUNS OUT TO FIND HER CAUSE SHES PROBABLY DOING SOMETHING DANGEROUS BECAUSE WHEN ISNT SHE? Anyway…. So then he finds her and is like WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOI SHOULD BE LAYING DOWN!!!! THE BABY!!!! And she’s like WHAT BABY?!!? And then…. Yeah. Someone else can take it from there.

anonymous asked:

I know where you're coming from. I had an ask blog at one point but I didn't like how I did it, and I couldn't do much with what I had so I "Reset" it. Making a few changes, and also finalized the character design because I could not for the life of me stick with one thing. It still didn't work out, but that's my fault for being too scared to develop character because of the changes that may or may not be noticeable. Anyway, do what you want!! Link though -v-

Character design is one of the things I’m gonna change, that’s for sure - not drastically, but enough.   Also make the posts a bit more linked together, so it feels like you could read them in order and such.

Thanku ;w;  and I shall when it’s up and going!!

There are thousands of ways to be blindsided.
Were you in love with her?
When my mother asks me this question we are standing at the kitchen counter of our house. I think I nod. I think I say, Pshyeah. I think I say, I think so. I look away from her, out the window at the large falling snowflakes. She finishes cutting a piece of silver duct tape, turns to me and sticks it over my heart, where my new down coat is ripped, the feathers coming undone, flying away, as though I have a broken wing.
The deer did not die; they continued running. Besides some aches in our bones, and the tear in my coat, were are fine. We all keep going.
—  Chloe Caldwell, Women
"you'd be a lot prettier if you smiled :)"
  • aries: you would be a lot prettier wITH A CACTUS DOWn your throat but im not fUCKING COmplaining
  • taurus: i am just going to slowly cut this sausage into miniature little pieces while looking at you :)
  • gemini: hehe oh look! where did this sharp knife come from! i have no idea!! hehe
  • cancer: shut up you failed result of an abortion
  • leo: im always pretty get SOME GLASSES U BLIND SON of a BITch
  • virgo: sorry, i was just imitating how ur mom looked when u fucked her
  • libra: ur irrelevant *flips hair*
  • scorpio: oh sorry, i was just:) distracted:) planning my next murder :), how silly of me :)
  • sagittarius: I DO WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT
  • capricorn: it feels wrong to smile when my mom just died
  • aquarius: i love your hair! how did you get it to stick out of your nostrils like that!?
  • pisces: i would slap you rn but i dont want shit on my hands :)

anonymous asked:

I totally agree with you everyone on here is more chilled and I'm really liking that. Twitter has calmed down a bit it was a horrible place last week also on Monday and Tuesday. I think once Aaron gets released we'll have more of an idea of where this storyline is going (here's hoping) since last week I've decided I'm taking things ep by ep,I'm not going to speculate,freak out over spoilers or "sources" like I did before and I feel a lot better

In the parts where I have been looking, the fandom has become pretty chill. More chill than ever actually. More prepared to take things as they come. That overall is quite a positive thing. I feel sad that some people have dropped off but it does not mean that you can’t come back. Doors always open in soap land.

I’ve cut myself off from anywhere overly negative. I only stick to my twitter timeline and I don’t follow all that many on there anyway. And everyone I follow on tumblr (I don’t go in tags so it’s my dash mostly that I see) is pretty chill and just taking it all as it comes. Things are feeling a little bit more calmer than they were, there is still the negative post popping up but it’s to be expected. I hope those that are feeling shitty do find a way back, it’s a shame to lose so many people.

  • What she says: I'm fine
  • What she means: Why are they taking the breadsticks? Where are they coming from? Is this an Olive Garden only meme? Are the breadsticks any good? Did someone try them before shoving them into their purse? Are there limits to what causes the breadstick shoving? Are the purses lined? This practice seems rather unsanitary. I love bread. I could eat it all day. But I would get fat. Bread makes you fat.