.......WHERE-DID-THE-STICKS-COME-FROM

"you'd be a lot prettier if you smiled :)"
  • aries: you would be a lot prettier wITH A CACTUS DOWn your throat but im not fUCKING COmplaining
  • taurus: i am just going to slowly cut this sausage into miniature little pieces while looking at you :)
  • gemini: hehe oh look! where did this sharp knife come from! i have no idea!! hehe
  • cancer: shut up you failed result of an abortion
  • leo: im always pretty get SOME GLASSES U BLIND SON of a BITch
  • virgo: sorry, i was just imitating how ur mom looked when u fucked her
  • libra: ur irrelevant *flips hair*
  • scorpio: oh sorry, i was just:) distracted:) planning my next murder :), how silly of me :)
  • sagittarius: I DO WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT
  • capricorn: it feels wrong to smile when my mom just died
  • aquarius: i love your hair! how did you get it to stick out of your nostrils like that!?
  • pisces: i would slap you rn but i dont want shit on my hands :)

Max sitting with the Milking Mothers and they teach him how to knit.  He starts knitting for relaxation and makes random things.  

Furiosa finds a brightly colored cozy on the stick shift of her new war rig.  It’s so weird but so precious she can’t remove it.  

War pups with misshapen knit hats on.  

Big, tough, War Boys with little black knitted baggies tied to their belts.  

Max makes new fingerless gloves for Dag, in a really garish bright green yarn since she works with the plants.  She doesn’t really like them but wears them anyways because a gift carries the giver’s warm spirit in it.

Max leaves a light yellow pouch for Toast…she is confused but oddly delighted.  No one has ever given her a gift before.  

Capable requests a shawl and Max tries to make something somewhat “pretty”, so he asks his knitting mentor how to make something different, but he ends up making something that looks like an old fish net.  Capable still loves it because it’s unique.

The next try he nails it, perfect shawl, in Cheedo’s favorite colors.

He makes a few more for the Vuvalini and some of the younger girls at the Citadel.

He makes one more, out of dark blue and aqua-marine colored yarn with flecks of light green and tan.  He’d been saving this yarn for a while.  It reminds him of the ocean where his home used to be, but it also reminds him of his new home, where he is now.  He puts it away and insists he just made it to keep his hands busy, but everyone else knows why he made it.  Capable snatches it when he’s not around and leaves it for Furiosa, with a note that simply says, “from Max”. 

The “loud music” coming from the car where Jordan Davis sat was no different than the “loud music” that came from the outlawed drums of our ancestors. The fear isn’t new. It’s historical. When we were enslaved and under violent suppression, African Americans had no choice but comply, to use a stick instead of a drum, to make sure our feet didn’t leave the floor so we wouldn’t be punished for dancing. We did all of these things because non-compliance meant death. Unfortunately, it seems that the same is true for black boys who listen to loud music in cars in 2014. And there are many who would say that we must do the same thing our ancestors did. We mustn’t listen to our music. We must attempt to be silent and assimilate our bodies, minds and spirits to avoid the lash or the gun.

But in 2014, I think it may be time for white people to take some of the accountability. I think it may be time for white people to take a deeper look at the historical, cultural and ancestral origins of their fear. It is time for the burden of violent white fear to be taken off the shoulder of the black community and the bodies of black boys. It’s time for white people to really look at things like the Ring Shout not simply as a wonderful display of African American history but as an artifact representing the origin of their fears.
—  Rev. Dominique C. Atchinson, “Drums and Jordan Davis: Unpacking the Historical Fear of Black ‘Loudness’”, For Harriet
brendon periscope recap 5/24
  • “weed is tight” said in the first ten minutes
  • they are chewing sour big league chew. brendon says it’s like “gummy warheads”
  • “warheads are tight” -kenny
  • “dalton wrote fanfic and now he doesn’t want to read it out loud” -zack
  • kenny is reading a long joke that i think dallon wrote about a penis pianist ???
  • dallon: “an adult should read it” zack: “aren’t you an adult, dallon?”
  • *cue a reading of said pianist story and everyone finding it oddly amusing*
  • brendon figured dallon was asleep because “you’re always asleep” 
  • “‘dallon get the fuck out and walk’ that’s what someone said”
  • dallon’s small, inquisitive voice coming from the back where his head is ominously sticking out behind the seat
  • brendon threw gum out the window and i think it hit someone’s car
  • *talks about poop for at least five minutes*
  • when prompted by brendon, kenny says he lost his virginity to panic’s new song hallelujah 
  • “‘did i lose it to audrey?’ *cue laughter* fuck no i didn’t lose it to audrey. are you kidding me jesus lord. she’s not one you simply lose it to, you know what i mean.”
My eyes started to well up with tears. Up until that moment I’d never really understood sadness. The fierce, mob-like sadness that would come over me, clear and strong. Where did it come from? Was it real? This sadness that crept up and cut through all of my routines and my boredom and my repetition and my drama, like a sliver of glass piercing my flesh and sticking in the soles of my feet?
—  Bae Suah, from Nowhere to Be Found tr. Sora Kim-Russell
101 Drabble Prompts

I was in a writing mood today, but am still burdened with writer’s block. So, I made some drabble prompts. I wrote most of them, but I took a few from tv and movies as well. Please feel free to use them and go ahead and change any pronouns you want. *Edit: Please reblog this post. Do not take these prompts to compile your own list and then pass it off as your own.*

1 “Will you please just give me a hand?”

2 “Why is there a drunk man sleeping in the bathtub?”

3 “Where did that cat come from?”

4 “How could anyone be that cruel?

5 “Why choose me?”

6 Do you like me? Check yes or no.

7 “I’m sorry, run that by me again.”

8 “It’s not nearly as bad as it looks, Darling.”

9 “Frankly, I couldn’t care less.”

10 “How did you get that to stick to the ceiling?”

11 “I do the best I can.”

12 “I don’t know where she gets it from.”

13 “Honestly, I’m just relieved.”

14 “You broke what?!”

15 “Why don’t you say that to my face?”

16 “Want to know a secret?”

17 “You’ve got to be kidding me!”

18 “Bring your pretty little butt over here.”

19 “Is that what I think it is?”

20 “Is that real?”

21 “We have to pretend to be married.”

22 “Excuse me if I don’t believe your psychic friend.”

23 “Why are you dressed like that?”

24 “I’ll sleep under the sheets, you sleep on top of them.”

25 “I thought we talked about this.”

26 “Why are you lying?”

27 “That guy at the bar keeps staring at you.”

28 “I need you to peel five pounds of potatoes!”

29 “It’s been fun. We’ve had a good run, but you parked in my spot. I’m going to have to kill you now.”

30 “It made a difference to me.”

31 “I shouldn’t have even been there!”

32 “I don’t know why I’m crying.”

33 “You were my new dream.”

34 “I had a nightmare about you and just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

35 “At what point did you think that was a good idea?”

36 “Look, I don’t have much time, but I wanted to say I love you.”

37 “You had me at ‘free pizza!’”

38 “I am not losing to you again!”

39 “Why don’t they just kiss already?”

40 “Are you okay?” “Why do you ask?” “You’re wearing two different shoes.”

41 “I think I picked up your coffee by mistake.”

42 “Is that an apology?”

43 “Why do you always do that?”

44 “I can’t get enough of the stuff!”

45 “Oh, why did I eat that? I think I’m dying!”

46 “All I wanted was your honesty.”

47 “You have to make a choice.”

48 “How did you get up there?”

49 “I found it!”

50 “Do you ever stop eating?”

51 “Why are you always pushing me away?”

52 “Just talk to me!”

53 “I can’t get you out of my head.”

54 “Not a day will go by that I won’t think of you.”

55 “I didn’t ask for any of this!”

56 “The sign said not to push the button, so naturally I had to push it!”

57 “Will you just shut up for a moment so I can say something nice to you!”

58 “Where did you find this?”

59 “I’m so sorry! I will never doubt you again!”

60 “I can’t explain right now, but I really need you to trust me.”

61 “Well, this is awkward.”

62 “That came out wrong.”

63 “I never believed in soulmates until I met you.”

64 “You deserve so much better.”

65 “I think you’re just afraid to be happy.”

66 “I’m up to the challenge.”

67 “I didn’t know you were so competitive.”

68 “I didn’t know you could cook.” “Oh, trust me I can’t.”

69 “You know my name?”

70 “I didn’t realize I needed your permission.”

71 “This is so going on Youtube!”

72 “That is not coming in this house!”

73 “Oh, you beautiful weirdo!”

74 He looked at her like she was the moon. She looked at him like he was the sun.

75 “Guess who’s going to be a father?”

76 “The joke’s on them.”

77 “That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard!”

78 “I do not snore, do I?” “Like a chainsaw.”

79 “I never meant for anyone to get hurt!”

80 “I’ve never felt this way about anyone before… and it scares the crap out of me.”

81 “You weren’t supposed to hear that.”

82 “I love you more than anything in this world… which is why you have to stay here.”

83 “I trusted you!”

84 “You have to remember!”

85 “Wake up! Please, please wake up.”

86 “Please just leave.”

87 “I don’t want to hurt you.”

88 “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were trying to seduce me.”

89 “Meet me on the roof in ten minutes.”

90 “Meet me on the bridge in an hour.”

91 “You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

92 “You are nothing like them.”

93 “You have the most amazing eyes.”

94 “Are you hitting on her for me?”

95 “What other hidden talents do you have?”

96 “I can manage on my own.”

97 “Since when do you drive a motorcycle?”

98 “You look good for your age.”

99 “I can arrange that.”

100 “When I come back, that better be exactly where you found it!”

101 “I love you. I’ve loved you since the moment I first laid eyes on you and – Oh, screw it!” ((This is preferably where they just go for it with a kiss.))

Well, there you go. Hope you enjoyed! Have fun!

(Want more? Here’s Another 101 Drabble Prompts)

Dusk Dragon? Dawn Dragon? Same Guy.

This always seemed screamingly obvious to me–in fact, I think the plot makes much less sense if this isn’t true. Stick with me a bit.

First off, only the Hoshido and Nohr (and Touma!) royals have the Dragon Vein power–even though the elemental tribes are also said to descend from dragons. The elemental tribe descendants only have Blood abilities to distinguish their ancestry (Fuuga, Flora, Rinka), which proves that they did inherit something from their patron dragons but not all dragons pass down Dragon Vein. Izana, explicitly descended from the gods, also lacks Dragon Vein.

In the Invisible History DLC, Hydra actually makes it quite clear where Dragon Vein comes from:

Hydra: That is a dragon vein. A place where the earth’s energy is concentrated… In this world, only those with the blood of the Dragon can awaken that power.
Luna: Hmmm. Meaning, we can’t use it.
Hydra: No… There’s a way. I’ll give you my blood. If you drink this, your body will take in the blood of the Dragon God, and you’ll be able to use the dragon veins temporarily.

Only those with the blood of THE Dragon God.

Hydra.

Secondly, look at the sigils for the dragons in question.

Dawn.

Dusk.

Invisible.

Dawn and Dusk are obvious mirrors of one another’s profile, with the Invisible crest being a front-facing blend of both colors. For what other reason would it be a clear mix of both?

Third, look at the plot of the third path–the only place where you learn about the dragon war.

You learn about the dragon war for possession of the continent, and then…find out the big bad is some dragon who has nothing to do with the possession of the continent, who lives in his own pocket dimension? Who doesn’t have a representative culture still living on the face of the continent? That makes no sense. The dragon war has no reason to exist if Hydra wasn’t personally involved.

Furthermore, Hydra’s claim that he was primarily responsible for human civilization makes no sense if we assume his influence was limited to Touma.

So here, in my opinion, is what really happened:

Thousands of years ago (or whatever), Hydra gives his blessings to the tribes that end up becoming Nohr and Hoshido. He may have purposely taken separate guises, or not; time distorts much history (maybe the Hoshidans just saw him in a better light, yuk yuk yuk).

The dragon war begins to pick up. Hydra doesn’t want to see his people slaughter one another; his greatest sin was always love. It’s the reason he never gave up his physical form to escape madness, after all–he loved humanity too much. Instead, he retires to a pocket dimension with his closest worshipers. A safe haven. An invisible kingdom.

After all, look at how temple-like Loulan is.

Remember the Making Of Fire Emblem statement that Touma was visually based off India and the Silk Road?

x

Brihadeeswarar Temple

Centuries pass. Touma evolves into its own proper kingdom that does things other than worship him. The instability starts creeping in. He rampages in a forest, and the story as told in Invisible History picks up from there.

By the time of the game he’s utterly mad and the fact that the Dawn and Dusk Dragons, his old forms, are still deified means nothing to him.

The plot of the third route only makes sense if Hydra is the progenitor of both kingdoms, seeking to destroy all of his old creations.

And finally…it’s the ultimate execution of the pun of his name.

He is the Many-Headed Hydra.

“My grandma really likes flowers, and grew a lot of flowers on one side of the courtyard. Around the time when the flowers had been pollinated and was about to yield kiwi fruits, I took a stick and knocked them all down. Grandma was very angry, and said "Why did you do that?” as she burst into tears. That was just too horrible, to this day my heart still aches. From that time on, I’ve come to really care for flowers and plants. When there’re flowers around I would be very careful where I step, and when I walk I would be more cautious than ever.“

in 20 days ☺

Okay, but answer me this.

Where are the fics where you have both Ryan and Jamal wondering about Eggsy and how’s he doing in his new “tailoring” job? I like to think that Eggsy’s friends were just as smart as him and loyal to him like he is to them. Where are the fics that have Jamal and Ryan be drafted into the Kingsman world by Eggsy? It’s not clear that they come from a broken home like Eggsy did, but if they did then I’m sure Eggsy would try to help them as best as he can. He can beg Harry (who’s obviously very much alive tyvm and Eggsy has him wrapped around his finger) to give them a chance to work for Kingsman. He can point out that the three of them stick with each other through thick and thin.

“You three are like Three Muskeeters then?”

“More like The Three Amigos.”

And ofc Harry will just sigh and tell Eggsy to bring them in. They may not be agents, but you can never have enough handlers! Or drivers!! What about them finally blooming under Merlin cauSE THEY WOULD TOTALLY INTERN UNDER HIM CAUSE DO YOU SEE ALL THOSE AWESOME GADGETS???

“Yeah, Harry–I mean Arthur is awesome for giving us these jobs, but do you see those things Merlin invents?” 

“Yeah, Arthur can shoot up an entire base, but who do you think gives him his badass gadgets?”

“Damn it guys. Harry is just as cool as Merlin if not cooler.”

“Just cause he’s your boyfriend, Eggsy.”

OR YOU CAN ACTUALLY HAVE THEM BE TAILORS TOO GUYS. You know for a damn fact that those tailors can probably kill you in about 78 different way with just a needle. Can you imagine them being badass tailors and somehow some baddies figure out where their base entrance is and they go in shooting, buT ALL THE GODDAMN TAILORS INCLUDING RYAN AND JAMAL FUCKING GOT THIS. Ofc all of Kingsman will be like BE RIGHT THERE. Esp Eggsy cause those are his mates only for all of Kingsman to be surprised that they have the baddies rounded up while giving them the look of WHAT TOOK YOU GUYS SO LONG.

IMAGINE ROXY/EGGSY/JAMAL/RYAN PUB NIGHTS

HARRY AND MERLIN JOINING THEM LATER!!!!!


tl;dr: We need more Ryan and Jamal in fics that has them helping out Kingsman in one way or another. Imagine the chaos of these guys showing that chavs can do it as well.

She's Mine - Carl Grimes

“Can I get a Carl Grimes/Ron Anderson love triangle imagine where the reader came from the prison with Carl’s group and they’re dating, but once they get to Alexandria, Ron tries to break them up by getting the two mad at each other so he can have her.”

Me and Carl had been dating since the prison. We had been through thick and thin together, always sticking by each other’s side. Right now we were in Alexandria. Rick had told us to go meet the other kids our age, so we did.
We walked to one of the kid’s houses where Rick said they all were. I knocked on the door and we waited. Jessie answered. “Hey guys, come in! The kids are upstairs, go right on up,” she welcomed us with a smile. We thanked her and walked upstairs. “Hey, I’m Ron,” a boy said, standing up from playing video games to greet us. “Hi,” I greeted back. “Hey,” Carl said, staring at the tv. “So this is Mikey,” he pointed to the other boy, “and this is Enid,” he pointed to the girl. “Hey,” Mikey said, not even looking up from his game. Edin didn’t say anything, too busy reading a comic book. “So, um, you have video games?” I questioned.
Ron chuckled a bit. “Yeah, do you guys wanna play?” We both nodded and sat down.
Ron seemed nice.

The next day I was walking around the compound, taking it all in. It was peaceful, I felt like I could forget the outside world for once. I was walking alone for a while before Ron started walking next to me. “Hey y/n.”
“Hey Ron, what’s up?”
“Nothing, just wanted to come say hi.”
“Oh, that’s nice of you.”
We walked in silence for a little while, and I developed a strange feeling.
“So y/n, are you and Carl, ya know, dating?”
“Yeah, actually we are. Have been for about a year or so. Why do you ask?”
“No reason. Except I saw Carl staring at Enid yesterday, it kinda seemed like he might like her.”
I stopped dead in my tracks. “If he really was staring at her, he was probably looking at the comic book she had in her hand.”
“Well, I don’t know. Maybe you should talk to him about it.”
“Ron I’m not gonna start anything over him looking at some girl’s comic book. That’s just stupid.”
“I’m telling you, he wasn’t staring at that, he was staring at her.” He folded his arms.
“Well, thanks for telling me. I better be getting home.” I turned and walked away.
“See you later, y/n!” Ron yelled. I didn’t respond.

I walked into the house, taking a seat at the kitchen counter. “Hey babe, how was your walk?” Carl asked, sitting next to me.
“It was going good, until Ron started walking with me.”
“Why was he walking with you?”
“I don’t know. He asked me if we were dating, and once he found out he told me he saw you staring at Enid.”
“What? That’s stupid, I wasn’t. I glanced at the comic book she had in her hand. I didn’t stare at her at all,” he said in an honest tone.
“That’s what I said, and he said that you were staring at her.”
“I wasn’t, I can promise you that.”
“Why did he tell me that?” I asked, confused.
“I really don’t know.”

Over the next few days, I started talking more to Mikey and Enid. Enid was really shy, but Mikey was really nice. I went to his house to play pool while his dad was at work. We played a few rounds, then decided have a snack and play a board game. Then I went home.
I walked into the house, plopping down on the couch.
Carl came in looking angry. “Why did you go to Mikey’s house?”
“To play pool. Also how do you know, I didn’t tell you yet,” I stated, confused.
“Ron told me. He said he saw you leaving there. Why were you there?” Carl demanded.
“Carl, we played pool. And then we played a board game. That’s all that happened.”
“Sure it is. You like him don’t you?”
“What? No! Where the hell did you get that?”
“Ron said he’s been seeing you talk to Mikey a lot lately.”
“I’m allowed to have friends. There’s nothing more than that between us.”
“Sure,” he spit.
“Who are you gonna believe, your girlfriend or some guy you just met?” I asked.
Carl looked confused. “Do you think.. Do you think that he’s trying to break us up?” He asked.
It was all clear now. “You know, I think he is. Why else would he tell me that he thought you were staring at Enid, and then tell you he thinks I like Mikey?”
“That’s gotta be the reason.”
“But why would he do that?”
“He probably likes you. And that’s just too fucking bad because you’re my girl. I’m gonna go talk to him.”
“I’m coming with you.” We walked out of our house and went to Ron’s.
Carl knocked on the door and Jessie answered. “Is Ron home?” He asked.
“Not at the moment, he’s out taking a walk,” she answered sweetly.
“Okay. Thanks Jessie.” Carl said and we turned to go look for Ron.

We found him sitting on a bench. He stood up when he saw us walking towards him. “Hey guys, what’s up?”
“You need to stop,” Carl said in a very stern tone.
“Stop what?” Ron asked innocently.
“Trying to pin us against each other. You tried to get y/n mad at me, and then you tried to get me mad at y/n. Well, your little plan isn’t working.”
“What plan?”
“I know you like y/n. I mean, why else would you be trying to break us up? But one thing you need to understand is that she’s my girl, and you won’t take her from me,” Carl said, fists balling up, inching closer to Ron, clearly intimidating him.
“I-I’m sorry. I really thought that she and Mikey were up to something, that’s why I-”
“Oh shut the fuck up. You just wanted to get involved in something you had no business in. I don’t like you. Get over it. I’m with Carl, and you need to respect that. Because if you don’t, I will personally kick your ass. Understand?” Now it was me getting in his face, backing him up.
“Y-yeah. I’m sorry,” he stuttered out.
“You better fucking be,” I spit out, turned around and walked off with Carl following me.
“Wow.”
“What?” I asked, confused.
“I had no idea you had that in you.”
“I get very protective over people I love.”
“I can tell. Man, am I lucky to have you.”
I smiled at him. I grabbed his hand and we walked back to our house together.

anonymous asked:

Rate EXO from the cutest (baby-faces) to hottest (most fuckable lololol)

Wat where the heck did this come from omfg???????? UHM. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO CHOOSE AND STICK THEM IN ORDER WHEN THEY’RE ALL BOTH LIKE?????

SUHO

BUT THEN

SEXY BAEK?

HEEEEELLL YEEEEEA SEXY BA—

NEVER FRICKITY FRACKING MIND. HOW BOUT KYUNGSOO THO HE UBER SQUISHY.

YEA MAN SEE WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT-

OH YOU DON’T GFDI I THOUGHT I HAD NUMBER 1 CUTIE IN LINE FO SHO UHM. LET’S TRY OUR BABY MAKNAE?

YEA I’M FEELING THAT LOOK AT THE BABYHUN BUT WAIT WHAT’S THAT

ABORT ABORT ABORT OH MY GOD 

I SAID ABORT YOU BUTT NEXT NEXT NEXT OH GOD TRY LUHAN HE’S A REAL CUTIE

WHAT I TELL YA HE’S A REAL FAIRY LIKE LOOK AT THAT LITTLE SMIL—-

OH SHT OH DAMN OH FCK THE GUYLINER IS CALLING MY NAMEEEEE MINNIE SHUT IT UP FOR ME PLS????

AWWWWWH WHAT A CUTIE I KNEW YOU’D COME SAVE THE DAY—-

MINNIE I TRUSTED YOU PLS SHOW YOURSELF OUT AND LET YEOLLIE IN KTHNX. ALRIGHT YEOL’S GOT A CUTIE SMILE LET’S CHECK IT.

HECK YEA I KNEW MY INTUITION WAS ON POINT HERE LET’S AWARD YEOL AS THE CUTEST AND MOVE ON TO THE NE—-

……I RETRACT MY STATEMENT. COME ON, YEOLLIE I THOUGHT YOU WANTED TO MAKE MY LIFE A LITTLE EASIER???????? I GUESS NOT FINE DRAG IN JONGINNIE FOR ME? LET’S SEE WHAT HE’S GOT. 

HEY CUTIE HOW YOU???

OH. WELL UH…… NEXT……? OR YOU CAN JUST STAY WITH ME THAT’S COOL TOO. IS MY LITTLE BUNNY NEXT? XINGXING? IS THAT YOU?

I JUST KNEW IT HOW’S MY LITTLE CUTIE PIE????? DID YOU JUST FINISH DANCE CLASS???

OH DEAR…….SO YOU DID……….WELL…….DO YOU KNOW WHERE’S FANFAN? HE’S PRETTY CUTE MAYBE HE’LL TAKE NUMBER ONE. WHERE’S MY BABYYYYYY—-OH THERE YOU ARE

AWWWWH LOOK AT YOU BBY HEY LISTEN I HAVE TO PUT YOU GUYS IN ORDER FROM CUTE TO SEXY THINK YOU CAN HELP ME OUT??? EVEN JUST A LITTLE????

N-N-NO YOU GOOF YOU DIDN’T HELP ME AT ALL.

EEEEP NOT ONE FRICKITY FRACKING BIT BABY PLS JUST GO AND GET TAOZI FOR ME.

NO YOU—— DON’T GIVE ME THAT FACE. TAOZI WHERE ARE YOUUUUUUU??????

OH GOOD THERE YOU ARE SWEETIE SO LISTEN ANONNIE WANTS ME TO LIST YOU ALL IN ORDER;; WHAT DO YOU THINK?????

….NUMBER 1 FOR SEXY, HUH……? I GUESS I’LL CONSIDER IT? SORRY FOR BOTHERING YOU…….CAN YOU BRING IN JONGDAE FOR ME PLEASE? HE MIGHT BE MY LAST HOPE.

OH THERE YOU ARE, JONGDAE. YOU ARE MY LAST HOPE FOR NUMBER 1 AND LOOK AT YOU WITH YOUR CUTIE CHARMS I THINK YOU’LL FIT PERFECT IN THIS SPOT DON’T YOU????

J-JONGDAE NO I TRUSTED YOU!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS BETRAYAL ANON I CAN’T DO IT THEY ARE ALL MUCH CUTE AND MUCH SUPER SEX WHAT DO I DO????????

SWANQUEEN FIC LIST

i promised i’d make a list of my favourite fics and i’m not one to go back on my promises, so here we are! this is going to be divided into categories, and since i’ve gotten some input from other people on twitter, i’ll mark my personal favourites with a “!”. if there’s enough interest i’ll add cs and oq fics, but right now we’re sticking with swanqueen. okay, let’s get started.

AU

most fic is somewhat AU but this list is the super AU where-the-hell-did-that-come-from type if you know what i’m sayin

! Flight SQAO16

“Emma Swan has recently taken a job with Crown Airlines working in the first class cabin flying from New York to London. Regina Mills is a literal high-flying business executive with terrible social skills. Alternative Universe, no curse, no magic, no Storybrooke. Slowburn SwanQueen.”

! Letters from War

“Emma is a soldier on reserve in Fort Benning. Regina is the Mayor of Storybrooke. Through a pen pal program designed to ease the ache of homesick soldiers, Emma and Regina begin sending letters to one another as their relationship grows from cordial acquaintance to something neither woman would have expected - until the letters stop coming.”

! Popcorn Love

“Regina is a successful businesswoman and wonderful parent, but her love life is lacking. She agrees to a string of blind dates set up by her friend Kathryn on the condition that the blonde find her a babysitter. Enter Emma Swan. After each date, Regina returns home only to complain to Emma about her suitors. As they bond, Regina realizes that Emma has all the qualities she desires.”

! The Princess and the Prisoner

“Young Princess Emma grew up on tales of the Evil Queen. When she, as a child, discovers Regina is captive in her Castle’s dungeon, she begins visiting her in secret. Regina indulges Emma’s curiosity and grows to love the child immensely, a love which grows and evolves as Emma ages, eventually developing into a romance, which could finally grant her freedom from her magical prison.” and the elusive FTL AU makes it’s first appearance on my list. i think i might have cried over this.

A Million Tiny Little Things

“emma swan doesn’t seem like the kind of person you’d leave in charge of your kids, but somehow she’s landed the job of nannying the mayor’s son. no matter her rebellious streak, she’s more than a little concerned that she’s breaking the cardinal rule of nannydom: do not, do not, start sleeping with your employer.” was there a nanny trope? there is now. tropes abound, cute as hell. bonus points for emma calling mayor mills “dude”

Of Love and Loathing

“‘I have been sleeping with someone,’ Regina began tentatively, an acute awareness that once she said the words out loud that the madness behind her highly unorthodox situation became all the more real, ‘whom I absolutely loathe.’” i didn’t know whether to put this in AU or canon divergence so here it is

! The Art of Being Extraordinary

“Henry, age 23, decides to give the crowd what they want, what they really want. A story. So he tells them the only one he knows: the greatest love story of all time, and it just so happens, that this love story is his mothers’. Henry’s on and off POV.” this. fucking. story. reading this felt like getting injected with pure, unadulterated happiness and immediately being tied to the back of a jeep and dragged though hell. you might need tissues.

! Aut Vincere Aut Mori

“AU fic set in ancient Rome. Regina, a Vestal priestess, crosses paths with a mysterious gladiator. Suddenly, her life is not quite the same. Historical!Swan Queen.” are you someone who can’t stand historically inaccurate historical!swan queen? this is the fic for you. bang, bitch. this is the shit.

Beyond the Walls (I Saw a Prince)

“Post-midseason finale, one year later. An amnesiac Henry returns to his grandparents’ castle in the Enchanted Forest, where he quickly grows fascinated with the mysterious sorceress who’s training his mother in magic– and who’s the one person in the castle he’s forbidden to ever meet.” what’s that? another FTL AU? hell fucking yeah.

Too Soon

“Regina Mills is perfectly happy being Mayor of a town filled with the constant suffering of people she hates. She does not need some pregnant delinquent messing everything up. Emma Swan comes to Storybrooke at 18 not 28.” i don’t care what anyone says, there will never be enough fic about teen emma. especially teen emma pissing off regina mills.

Mirrors

“Regina runs a mirror shop in Boston. Emma comes by one day. A love story about the two women we adore so much. SwanQueen AU. Rated M for language, reference to rape/violence and smut in later chapters.” in which emma makes ridiculous excuses to buy excessive amounts of mirrors. is the mirror-sales-lady trope a thing?

The Heart’s Lonely Shelter

“East Side Teen’s Homeless Shelter. Emma’s new home. Regina’s new punishment from her dad who owns the shelter. Both under the same roof against their wills. The tension only grows from the moment they meet. SwanQueen AU. M for smut in later chapters, language and subject matter.” teen swanqueen, yo

! Regina (Or the Evil Step-Mother)

“Regina, Marchioness of White, widely renowned as the most elegant woman in England, is in London helping her step-daughter through her first Season. Miss Emma Swan is pretending to be an heiress to seduce and destroy Sir Killian Jones, dandy, on behest of the wealthy Mr Gold.Featuring at least one elopement, a duel, a pistol, several balls and a great deal of romance.”

the regency romance AU you never knew you needed

The Bodyguard

“Based on the 1992 Whitney Houston and Kevin Costner movie The Bodyguard.”

Wedding Crasher

“‘you hire me to be the worst date possible to your sister’s wedding to aggravate your mother and keep her from meddling in your love life’ AU”

because cora hates blondes and regina’s goddamn plucky

! Falling In My Lemonade

“Summer camp instructors Regina and Emma have to share a cabin and a bed.” and here it is; the ever requested camp councillor fic in which regina goes into anaphylactic shock and emma tries to epi pen her with a vibrator

Student/Teacher AU

if you know me, you know that i think these deserve their own category and a shrine

Teasing is Our Game

“With 19 years, Emma is in senior year. What is her surprise when she sees her new stunning math teacher. AU, really. I’m not good at summaries, just read and I hope you like it!” the grammar is a little funny, but it’s a pretty good story

! Teacher’s Pet

“Emma Swan is starting her senior year. Her friends tell her about the Creative Writing teacher that she has on her schedule and how no one had passed her class with an A, not even her bookworm friend, Belle. What will she do? And who exactly is this ‘bitchy Evil Queen’ as they claim her to be? SwanQueen. Student/Teacher. M for language and future chapters.” and here you have it; the holy fucking grail of student/teacher AU

Is That So, Miss Swan?

“College student, Emma Swan, is confronted by her favorite professor and secret heart-throb, Dr. Regina Mills. What happens when Emma is forced to reveal her secrets? We shall see.”

Whiteout

“A student/teacher SQ AU. Regina is Emma’s college professor and Emma’s got a wicked crush.”

Baby Write This Down

“Floating around foster homes didn’t give her much time to get settled in at a school so she just didn’t bother. What was the point in worrying about grades when she knew she was going to have to start over in a completely different school within a year or so?That attitude had carried over into college for the most part. She did enough to scrape by because she actually had to earn her financial aid but that’s where her achievements ended. Until she got put into Miss Mill’s class.”

From Crayons to Perfume

“Emma Swan ran from Storybrooke at 18 and never planned to return. She doesn’t want to see Regina Mills, her terrifying high school English teacher, or the kid she abandoned.But life has a way of catching up on us.”

Making Exceptions

“Emma Swan is a culinary arts student. Regina Mills is her English teacher.”

Canon Divergence

basically, if it starts off sort of like the show, you’ll find it here

! Double Trouble

“Teenage versions of Emma and Regina appear in Storybrooke and to everyone’s surprise the girls hit it off immediately.” y’all might not think this one sounds all that interesting, but it might be my favourite of the whole list. nothing beats double trouble. trust me.

! A New Hope

“Something goes terribly wrong when the Jolly Roger falls into the portal. There’s an explosion and, next thing Emma knows, is that she’s on a desert island, trapped… with Regina Mills. The two women will have to learn how to work together in order to find a way out, although it may prove to not be so easy.” really beautiful and heartbreaking in some parts. mentions abuse if i remember correctly, so TW for that. one of my favourites.

Feel

“A broken and exhausted Regina has a deeply sensual and somewhat disturbing dream of/with Emma that may provide a way home for Emma and Snow, and emotional salvation for the former Evil Queen. S2, post 2X05. SQ, semi-graphic.” hello smut i swear there’s a plot

A Category Of It’s Own

the one shot to end all one shots

But What if the Urn Had Wi-Fi

“This fic asks the important question: what if the urn had wi-fi?” ingrid talks manpain, xena fanfiction, and dial-up internet. she and henry try to make their OTP canon.

  • What she says: I'm fine
  • What she means: Why are they taking the breadsticks? Where are they coming from? Is this an Olive Garden only meme? Are the breadsticks any good? Did someone try them before shoving them into their purse? Are there limits to what causes the breadstick shoving? Are the purses lined? This practice seems rather unsanitary. I love bread. I could eat it all day. But I would get fat. Bread makes you fat.
Crumpled Hearts

Just a short Snowbaz oneshot that I thought of! Enjoy~~

Summary: Simon keeps on throwing notes on pieces of paper at Baz during a lesson, ending up with better results than he had ever hoped. Fluff! (I guess.)

Word Count: 1,036

~~**~~

Baz felt yet another paper ball hit the back of his chair. Unlike most of the other balls of paper, this one hadn’t landed on the table. Every single piece of paper was anonymous, left unsinged, but Baz knew where they all had come from. Simon Snow. It was easy to spot that he had been the one to do it. The fact that Simon had been leaning across his own desk, poising his hand perfectly, his tongue sticking out slightly in concentration between his lips, before launching another piece of paper was a pretty big give away.

But the teacher didn’t notice. Baz did however.

All though he did try and concentrate during his lesson, the frequent paper coming in his direction was pretty distracting. He wished that Simon would stop. The things that they learnt in this lesson could be vital for their learning and would probably be in the test, and Baz needed to concentrate. If it was any other person, Baz would’ve turned round and pretty much immediately called them out on it.  But no, Simon bloody Snow was the one throwing them, and even though they were really annoying, he didn’t have the courage to ask him to stop, mainly because he was afraid of hurting Simon’s feelings, of course.

It could also be possibly due to the fact that he had had a crush on Simon since forever. The fact that the things that Simon had written on the pieces of paper were really cute could also have been a contributing factor as to why Baz didn’t tell him to stop.

But after a while, at least half an hour into the lesson, Baz had stopped looking at the notes inside, instead storing them away, so that he could read over them when he was alone, and could squeal and not get judged because of it. It was always better for you to develop a stronger crush on somebody whilst alone, as less people were watching and judging you. However, if Baz was being honest, he would probably cry later when he read over them. They would be a reminder that they could never be together. Simon must’ve been throwing them at him to joke and tease him, right? The messages weren’t actually serious, were they?

Yet another scrunched up ball of paper landed on his desk. He sighed internally as he was about to put the note into his pencil case so that he could open it later; he was going to be doing a lot of crying tonight, he could tell. However, this little piece of paper had a small crumpled heart on the outside of it –Baz wondered what that might mean, but then stopped himself from thinking anything or coming to any wild assumptions. The piece of paper probably just landed on the wrong desk or Simon hadn’t meant to use a piece of paper that he had already written on.

But still, Baz was intrigued. So he opened the note slowly and carefully to reveal its contents.

In messy handwriting was a scrawled message that made Baz’s heart skip a beat.

Will you go out with me, Baz?

-SS

If it had not been addressed to him personally, Baz would’ve definitely thought that the message was meant for somebody else. And unlike the others this one had been signed off by Simon. (He was the only person in the class that had the initials SS.) Did that mean he was being serious? Baz turned around in his seat slightly, just enough so that he could see Simon from here. Baz scanned Simon’s face for any signs of teasing and joking, but he found none.  Instead he was faced with a sheepish smile and a red face. It was then Baz realised that Simon wasn’t joking. That he really had just asked Baz out.

Simon Snow had just asked him out.

~~**~~
Oh, well that wasn’t supposed to happen.

After Baz had stopped looking at the notes, Simon thought he was safe to send over some more emotional, real stuff across. He hadn’t actually meant for Baz to read that message; he just thought that Baz would stuff the note in his pencil case, like he had done to the others, so that he could probably throw them away later. (At least that’s why he thought that Baz was stuffing them in his pencil case; Simon was sure that was why they were going in there.)

It wasn’t like he regretted it. He had been meaning to ask Baz out for at least the entire year. (Probably longer.) But he hadn’t been meaning to ask him like this.

It was done now, so there wasn’t anything else he could do about it. Hopefully Baz would realise that Simon wasn’t joking. Hey, maybe Baz would say yes. (Simon hoped he would. He had already thought out the entire date.)

Simon waited patiently throughout the entire lesson, worrying himself about what Baz might think of the note and how he would react. He didn’t write any other notes and he couldn’t even focus properly on the lesson.

As soon as the bell rang Simon packed away his stuff slowly. He didn’t need to hurry up as it was lunchtime and he had a packed lunch so he didn’t have to rush to avoid the queues. When he had finished packing away he slowly got up but was stopped by a tall shadow that blocked his path.

Simon swallowed uncomfortably out of nervousness as he watched the tall, dark figure in front of him. Baz looked at Simon with those blackish grey eyes that Simon loved so much, but he didn’t say anything. Instead Baz handed him a piece of paper, before walking out of the classroom. Simon watched as Baz walked out of the classroom, only looking at the piece of paper when Baz had left the room.

Yes. –BP

Simon couldn’t keep himself from whooping when he saw the answer as he jumped into the air in pure, unadulterated happiness.  

Baz couldn’t help but smile as he heard the whoop coming from the room he had just exited. It took him all his willpower not to shout in happiness too.

Update delayed until tomorrow + new buttons in the store!

Hey, there’s bad news and good news but I basically just summarized it for you in the title there! 

Bad news: I had a HORRIBLE MIGRAINE THAT LITERALLY LASTED THE ENTIRE DAY! Where did it come from? Why did it stick around all day? Why did it feel like someone was stabbing me above my eyeballs every time I tried to stand up?? These are questions that I cannot answer. UNFORTUNATELY, because of all that, I couldn’t get tonight’s page done, but it’s a pretty easy page so it should be up pretty early tomorrow (probably around 2-ish? (EST))

THE GOOD NEWS! I put the new 2016 Sakana buttons up in the store! There’s only the 4 guys for the moment, but I’m planning on doing more characters as soon as I get the time! 

These ones! 

FURTHERMORE, Saturday Night minicomics are still in stock! If you still don’t have one, they’re still there! 

>>> VISIT THE SAKANA STORE, IF YOU WANNA PICK THESE UP! <<<

Like I said, the update should be up early tomorrow, so keep an eye out for it! Sorry for the delay! :O