.......... it was funny afterwards

Top 13 Most Unfuckable Men in Dragon Age (according to me, a lesbian)

Honorable Mention: Oghren

I am not including Oghren on the official list for a couple reasons. Firstly, jokes about how gross Oghren is are basically everywhere. I can’t make a remotely original joke on this subject because they have all already been made. Secondly, I don’t want to subject anybody to actually thinking about fucking Oghren. And third, it’s no fun punching down. Nobody likes Oghren except me. And I get it. Oghren is a pretty cool character who was grossly mishandled by writers who think sexual assault, alcoholism and homophobia are hilarious jokes and not serious issues. Sorry about all this, Oghren. Enjoy your free pass from being mocked by a lesbian on the internet.

13. Zevran Arainai

Zevran is the least unfuckable man in Dragon Age because he wouldn’t make it weird. He’d give you a nice lay, do a good job, and then high-5 you afterwards. He’s nice-looking and experienced and would overall be an almost not-unpleasant experience. If there was a gun to my head and someone forcing me to pick a Dragon Age man to fuck, it would be Zevran.

12. RDP Sten

I say Realistic DAO Project Sten and not regular Sten because frankly RDP Sten is the true Sten. Honestly, look at this man. Assuming you didn’t die during intercourse, he’d make you breakfast the next morning, then reshackle your roof and do your taxes. RDP Sten would take care of you. RDP Sten would treat you right.

11. Justice

…as long as he gave Anders’ body a bath first, because wow he sure is a guy who lives in a sewer. Justice is a friendly Fade spirit curious about the mortal world and its many wonders. Fucking Justice would be a nice opportunity to show an otherworldly being a good time. Not to mention the novelty. Think of the puns you could make afterwards. “It was a spiritual experience.” “It was truly righteous.” “Justice isn’t easy–no, Justice is hard.”

10. Varric Tethras

Varric would be the ideal sugar daddy. He’d indulge you, buy you nice things, tell you stories, and when it’s time to go to bed, you’d just have to put up with him bringing his crossbow with him. Honestly, he probably wouldn’t even get to the sex. You’d have half your clothes off and then he’d start telling a story and three hours later he’s cried a little about his ex and fallen asleep cuddled up to his crossbow. Meanwhile, you are free to go back to your house with your money and jewelry. Ideal.

9. Alistair

Alistair is inexperienced, but a nice boy. You could show him a good time, and then pat him on the head and give him a cookie afterwards. He’s funny and nice and if you aren’t his first lay, it’ll probably be Morrigan and she would probably turn into a spider halfway through just to fuck with him. I’m willing to fuck him just to spare him that being his first time. Alistair might make it weird and try to give you a flower or something, but he’s young and easily dissuaded. Fucking Alistair would be acceptable and satisfying in some ways.

8. Iron Bull

He ugly, but otoh, monster dong, if you’re into that. Iron Bull wouldn’t make it weird emotionally, but he would definitely make it weird sexually. Assuming you survived, you would have a hell of a story. I would bring that up at every cocktail party I went to for the rest of my life. “I fucked a minotaur man,” I’d say, sipping my martini. “He had an eyepatch, and a dong the size of your forearm. I’m lucky to have survived.” The party guests gasp and fan themselves at the scandal.

7. Nathaniel Howe

I have no feelings either way about fucking Nathaniel Howe. I would show up, do the deed, and leave. Maybe give him a thumbs up, to be polite. My entire soul doesn’t rebel against the concept, but neither can I think of any benefits to fucking Nathaniel Howe.

6. Sebastian Vael

I wouldn’t hate to fuck Sebastian, and he seems nice, I guess. He’d be on par with Nate, except for the fact that he’s a devout fantasy Catholic. I’m morally opposed to fucking Catholics, because I don’t like Catholicism, and because I don’t want to deal with their ensuing guilt. I would tolerate fucking Sebastian.

5. Fenris

Fenris is objectively one of the best-looking men in Dragon Age, but oh lord, the canon romance path is so much. I’d do it just so I could touch his pretty hair, but I’d feel real bad about it. I like fenris. I don’t wanna cause him troubles. On the other hand, Isabela seems to manage it without much emotional fallout, so perhaps it would be alright. Fucking Fenris might be perfectly fine, but it might end terribly for all involved. As a lesbian I’m not gonna risk it.

4. Anders

Anders is a nasty sewer man who has no particularly attractive physical features to make up for it. He’d probably be an alright lay, but if you fucked him he’d definitely fall in love with you. Possibly he’d have already been in love with you for like three years. Then post-fuck he’d say a lot of weird stuff and ask to move into your house, and you’d be so worried about his eating habits and his stress that you’d be like “sure :)”, and then you’d have to change your name and flee the city to escape. Don’t fuck Anders.

3. Blackwall

I previously had Blackwall a spot higher, but then when I went to google a picture of him I realized he actually looks okay. Lumberjack aesth. Nice beard. Probably nice chest hair. Good muscles. But he’s also kind of a stinky old man who is kind of like your dad, and he would make his weird guilt issues your problem. I’d rather not, although I grant that if he was a couple decades younger he might be Acceptable.

2. Cullen

I would really hate to fuck Cullen. I find him morally repugnant, physically unimpressive, and overall vile. Not to mention that he seems like the kind of sexually inexperienced dude to just try inserting Tab A into Slot B with no foreplay–but then, would you really want foreplay from this guy? At least it would all be over within 5 minutes and then you could make your escape through the window.

1. Solas

Solas is the absolute most unfuckable man in Dragon Age. Not only is he bald, and a genocidal maniac, but he would also get weirdly hung up on you. Then he’d like, haunt your dreams. “Vhenaaaaaaan,” you hear every night forever, to your horror. “You’re not like other girls,” he says, before showing you a picture of his fursona, which is a wolf. I would rather do literally anything else but fuck Solas. I thank G-d every day that Solas is not real, and that I am in no danger of ever fucking him. Solas is the least fuckable man in Dragon Age.

anonymous asked:

So, Harry seems to be pretty open with talking about your sex life while you, Draco, die in embarrassment so my question is, is there a way to make him be the one embarrassed for once ? ;P

Draco: *slowly swelling with evil*

Harry: …Please?

Draco: *gleefully* You fucking wish! *leans forward excitedly* Ask him what happened at the Burrow the time we stayed over the night before Weasley and Granger’s wedding!

Harry: *groans from behind his hands*

Draco: *laughing helplessly* Okay, wait– Wait, I’ll tell you.

Harry: You’re the worst.

Draco: Okay so we’re in our little room and in bed and we– we start fooling around. And I remind him to put up the Privacy and Silencing Spells because I’d left my wand in my robes.

Harry: *groans louder*

Draco: And I don’t know what the fuck he did, or rather didn’t do, but the next morning, Molly cornered him in the pantry to have a little talk

Harry: *rocking back and forth with his face still covered*

Draco: *tamping down on his laughter* And she asks him whether he’s even in a real relationship with me or is simply using this as a chance to– to ‘punish me for my past’– *snorts accidentally* And Harry being the dim-witted simpleton that he is, just stood there blinking at her because he genuinely didn’t get what she meant. And then she tells him, and these are the words Harry said she used–

Harry: *now muffling high-pitched shrieks into his hands*

Draco: *gasping past his laughter* She tells him, “Harry, dear, I really don’t mean to pry but it sounded like you were trying to kill the poor boy up there! Arthur and I could hear you all the way downstairs in the living room!” 

Harry: *croaking* And then it got worse! You made it worse!

Draco: *laughing helplessly now* I swear it wasn’t intentional, I honestly didn’t see her there, she was way inside the pantry!

Harry: *screeching* Why did you even have to say those things?!

Draco: *clutching his stomach* I always say stuff like that after we fuck!

Harry: H-he walked into the kitchen and fucking announced, loudly, “Dammit, Harry, my arse hurts

Draco: *adds along* –and I can barely even walk!” *dissolves into laughter once more*

Harry: *miserably* Mrs. Weasley couldn’t look me in the eye for months afterwards, it’s really not funny!

Draco: *lying across Harry’s lap as he heaves soundlessly* It hurts, please, my stomach hurts, oh god–

Got7: First kiss.

~Request: Can you make a got7 boyfriend first kiss please ? 

~Also, this is kinda long.

Jaebum:  

It happened on your second date with Jaebum. As he walked you to your door, you noticed he had this big grin on his face (gif).

“Why are you smiling like that?” you asked.

“I just..I really like you Y/N,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. You smiled widely and blushed. He breathed deeply and stepped closer to you. He ran his hands down your arms and took yours in his when he reached them. You looked up at him just before he leaned in and kissed your lips firmly. He pulled away after a few seconds and stroked your cheek with his right hand.

“Goodnight Y/N,” he chuckled, letting his hand slip as he turned and walked away. You shook your head, grinning like an idiot.

Jaebum doesn’t seem like the type of guy to wait around, so I definitely see him going for the first kiss on like the second or third date. He’d be gentle but firm. He’d either hold your hands, cup your face or rest his hands on your waist. He’d make it memorable though by saying something cutesy before it or maybe after it. It’d be a really good kiss.

Mark:

You’d been dating for a little over a month and hadn’t kissed yet. You were getting a bit impatient but didn’t want to push him in case he thought it was too soon. You were in the dorms one day and the two of you decided to watch a movie and you offered to go make popcorn. As you were getting up, you leaned down and pecked Mark’s cheek then continued walking to the kitchen like nothing happened. You peaked around the doorframe and laughed at how blushy and shy he was. You got the popcorn and made your way back to your previous spot on the couch beside Mark. 

“Em..what was that for?” he asked shyly and glanced up at you.

“What was what for?” you countered innocently and shoved a handful of popcorn into your mouth.

“The kiss,” he said quietly. You swallowed what was in your mouth and shrugged.

“What, am I not allowed to kiss you?” you teased.

“It’s not that. I just wanted to kiss you before you kissed me,” he said and you smiled, putting the popcorn on the table and moving closer to him.

“Mark that wasn’t a kiss, it was a peck. So technically, neither of us have ‘kissed’ the other yet,” you reassured him with a small smile that he mirrored. His eyes fell down to your lips then back up to meet yours. You raised your eyebrows expectantly and he leaned in slowly, cupping your right cheek with his hand. Your eyes fluttered shut simultaneously and your lips met his in a soft, sweet kiss. You smiled into the kiss and wrapped an arm around his neck. Seconds passed and he pulled away reluctantly.

“Well that was certainly worth the wait,” you laughed as you leaned in to kiss him again.

Mark would take his time. He’d have you thinking he’d never kiss you. You might have to take matters into your own hands but he’d probably prefer to be the one to initiate the kiss. It’d be a really sweet, soft and gentle kiss with a slight hint of hesitation. Mark would either cup your cheek or face with his hand(s) or have a hand on the back of your neck. It’d be such a cute kiss and would leave both of you feeling all warm and fuzzy.

Jackson:

5th date of your courtship with Jackson Wang and he took you out for ice cream. You were sitting across from each other, laughing and talking as you ate. He suddenly started giggling quietly to himself, his eyes fixed on your face. You furrowed your brows in confusion.

“What?” you asked.

“You’ve got some ice cream there,” he said gesturing to the corner of your mouth. You blushed and reached up to wipe it away but Jackson grabbed your hand.

“I’ve got a better idea,” he said with a cheeky grin and mischievous glint in his eye. He leaned across the table, grabbing your chin gently and tilting your head upwards slightly. He kissed you and moved his lips against yours, thus removing the ice cream from the corner of your mouth. He pulled away and immediately fell into a fit of giggles at your rose tinted cheeks and red tipped ears.

“Ah Y/N! You’re so cute,” he giggled as he kissed your forehead. 

Jackson would want to wait for the right moment. Whether that came early on or later didn’t really matter to him. He’d find an excuse or ‘logical’ reason to kiss you. It’d be sweet and playful but firm. He’d grab your chin or the back of your neck or pull you flush against him by your waist. It’d be a good kiss and would certainly leave you a bit dazed afterwards.

Jinyoung: 

The two of you were laying next to each other on your bed, just talking about everything and anything. You were laughing at a story he’d told you about his members and he was looking over at you adoringly. You glanced at him and blushed when you found him looking at you. Before you could say anything, Jinyoung had his left hand on your hip and his right by your head supporting him as he loomed over you. Your eyes met and you both grinned sheepishly. He leaned down and captured your lips in a soft yet passionate kiss. Your arms wound around his neck and the kiss deepened. Time slipped by and eventually you broke apart purely for the reason that you both needed oxygen. He smiled down at you sweetly then kissed your forehead before rolling back onto the bed. 

Timing wouldn’t really be a thing that Jinyoung would think about. When it happened, it happened. He’d be more passionate about it than the others and would let it carry on so the kiss wouldn’t be just a peck. His hands would be either on your waist or the small of your back or maybe one on your waist and one cupping your cheek. It’d start off as a soft kiss but would soon deepen and get more passionate. It’d be the kind of kiss that leaves you breathless.

Youngjae: 

You’d always found Youngjae’s shyness endearing and cute but you also knew you’d have to take the lead when it came to any form of skinship or relationship stuff, well most of it at least. After Youngjae attempted to kiss your cheek but just ended up laughing awkwardly in your ear instead, you decided to take matters into your own hands.

You were in a park, walking hand in hand and talking about everything that had happened in your respective lives since that last time you’d spoken. As you were walking, Youngjae caught sight of a playground. He headed straight for it with you in tow. You laughed fondly as you watched him make a mad dash for the swing set and launch himself onto one of the swings. He looked over at you with his signature sunshine smile.

“Y/N! Hurry up!” he called and you jogged over to him. You sat on the swing beside him and you two resumed talking as you both started swinging. The day had faded into evening and you’d both stilled your swings. ‘Well now’s as good a time as any,’ you thought to yourself as you got off your swing. You walked over to Youngjae and stood in front of him, your hands on the chains of the swing. He continued talking but blushed profusely. You smiled softly and leaned down to his level. Youngjae immediately started giggling.

“What are you doing Y/N?” he asked between giggles.

“You’ll see,” you smirked and leaned in. Youngjae’s eyes widened as yours closed and you kissed him gently. He smiled and closed his eyes, moving his hands to your waist. When you pulled away, he looked up at you with adoring eyes and the biggest smile humanly possible.

“Thank you,” he whispered softly and you both laughed.

“Did you really just thank me for kissing you Choi Youngjae?” you laughed and he poked your sides gently, laughing with you. Now a bit more confident, he leaned up and kissed you, pulling you closer by your waist.

Youngjae is so adorably shy and awkward, there’s very little chance of him being able to work up the nerve to kiss you without you having kissed him first. Initiating the kiss would be kinda awkward but the kiss itself would be really sweet and gentle. He’d probably only put his hands on your waist at first and would just let you take the lead. It’d be one cute kiss though and you’d both be shy afterwards.  

BamBam: 

You always found it funny how Bambam acted so arrogant and self-assured when you knew how he really was. You knew he was just an adorable goofy dork. And today was no exception. You were sitting next to him on your couch, smiling adoringly at him as he animatedly described something one of the 97′ liners had done. He was getting so into telling the story and you found it so cute that you couldn’t resist leaning over and pecking his cheek. He froze mid-sentence (gif) and turned to you with wide eyes and a slightly smug smile.

“I’m just too irresistible aren’t I?” he smirked as you blushed slightly and rolled your eyes.

“Wow Bambam, great job. You’ve ruined the mo-” You were cut off by his kiss. His hands ghosted down your sides and came to rest on your hips. He pulled you closer and you wrapped your arms around his neck. Your fingers found their way his hair and you entwined them with his locks. Bambam smiled softly into the kiss then pulled away but kept a firm hold on you.

“You really like my hair, don’t you?” he laughed as you scoffed and shook your head with a smile. You merely nodded then looked back at him. The way he was looking at you made you feel like you were the most precious thing on earth and you felt your heart swell as he blushed before looking away shyly. A blushing Bambam was a rare sight and you loved that you had that affect on him. 

The kiss would happen when it happens. Whether it was initiated by him or his partner wouldn’t really matter to him all that much. It would be a sweet and playful kiss, that would definitely bring out his shyer side. His hands would probably be at your waist or he might wrap his arms around you. It would be accompanied by a cute lead up and a cuddle session afterwards, all contributing to a memorable first kiss.

Yugyeom:

Yugyeom decided that today was the day. After weeks of his hyungs hyping him up, he’d finally decided it was about time he kissed you. And sweet Jesus he was nervous. You’d noticed he seemed a little off during dinner but put it down to tiredness and stress. You knew something was up when he walked straight past the café where you always went for dessert.

“Yugyeom, where are you going?” you asked in confusion. He grinned at you sheepishly as he slid his hand into yours and wove your fingers together. Okay, now you were really confused. Yugyeom hadn’t held your hand like that in public before. You looked up at him and he winked at you cheekily before he began walking again, pulling you along behind him by your hand. You walked on for a while and soon you recognised your surroundings. ‘Why is he taking me to the dorms?’ you wondered, more intrigued than before. Eventually, you reached the dorm and Yugyeom pulled you inside then shut the door behind you. The first thing you noticed was the soft music that replaced the usual bustle of the place. You turned away from the door and gasped. 

The living room was illuminated by soft fairy lights strung from the ceiling’s corners. The coffee table had been replaced by a fluffy blanket and a multitude of throw pillows. The blanket was littered with boxes of your favourite pastries and cakes from the café, accompanied by your usual drink and Yugeom’s side by side in the centre of the blanket. You smiled, almost giddy with happiness.

“Happy one month anniversary Y/N,” Yugyeom said from behind you. You turned back to him and hugged him. He giggled at your cuteness and hugged you back. You pulled away slightly to look at him.

“This is so sweet Yugyeom. You really didn’t have to do all this,” you said softly and Yugyeom’s bright smile dimmed slightly.

“Do you not like it?” he asked worriedly.

“I love it Yugyeom. Really, I do. Thank you,” you reassured as his face light up instantly and he blushed. He led you over to the blanket and you sat down next to each other.

*** 

After eating one to many baked goods, you and Yugyeom were telling each other random childhood stories. You both leaned towards each other as you laughed. The laughter died down when you realised how close you were. Yugyeom’s eyes darted from yours to your lips and he licked his nervously. He took a deep breath and leaned in closer to you. Your breath hitched as his became uneven.

“Can I kiss you?” he whispered and you nodded more eagerly than you meant to. He chuckled lowly then closed the short distance between you two, capturing your lips in a sweet kiss.

Yugyeom would be the one to plan it out. He’d do something really cute and romantic to set the mood before the kiss. He would want to make it perfect as it would very likely be his first but mainly because it would be his first with his partner. After having an amazing date beforehand, the kiss itself would just happen naturally. It would be a very sweet kiss. 

~A/N~ I really loved writing this. I love these kinds of requests; they’re so cute. Requests for ships are now closed but requests for everything else are open so, feed the inbox!

As someone who wants to go into the mental health field as a mentally ill person themselves...

Split is gonna be an amazing movie.

Hell my Psychological Adaptations teacher BADLY wants to take a small group of kids to go see it with her. We watched the trailer in class and kids who knew nothing about mental illness asked questions on how DID affected someone.

We’ve watched Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho, read the book it’s based on and even watched Bates Motel. We’ve gone into the nitty gritty of what kind of trauma it takes to get to this level. And let me tell you the kids in this class LOVE breaking down why the human brain deals with trauma like this. Kids who all(except for the few mentally ill in the room) had an ableist point of view when it came to mental illness

(I stated I was bipolar during a discussion and immediately got looks but they all did ask for me to explain it more and they realized they were misinformed)

They’ve managed to understand that this is purely fiction IN LITERALLY THE EQUIVALENT OF 3 HOURS.

HIGH.SCHOOL.STUDENTS.UNDERSTAND.THAT.THIS.IS.FICTION.

THE GENERAL PUBLIC UNDERSTANDS THAT THIS IS NOT AN ACCURATE PORTRAYAL.

For fucks sake my final paper is even gonna be about if Anthony Perkins(Norman Bates in Psycho)is accurately portraying the body language of someone who has DID according to the DSM-5. Mind you THE MOVIE WAS MADE IN LIKE THE 60’S.

A lot of kids are doing a creative writing piece about Normal Bates seeing a psychologist and are going to be graded on if it is a normal sensible piece.

My teacher (who has a masters in Psychology a masters in English and is working on a PHD and is also mentally ill) is so excited about this movie she’s patiently waiting for the DVD so she can base a whole class around it like she did with Psycho(and is doing Lolita in three weeks I’m so mad I don’t need more English credit after this)

Anyhow.

Instead of yelling why this is ableist, take a moment to ask the person if they know any facts about DID. If not kindly explain that this is a work of fiction instead of yelling at them.

I never rant about anything on tumblr but I can’t stand all this “boycott” bullshit.

Edit: A vague call out by someone who blocked me immediately afterward is now a thing. Funny. Edit 2: I have officially gotten my first “kill yourself” anon. Thank you for your compassion.
You know what I just realized

Everyone who is going to see the Lego Batman movie is going to see a trailer for the Lego Ninjago movie.

That means that EVERYONE who sees the Lego Batman movie is going to be introduced to Ninjago.

EVERYONE.

I mean, like comic book nerds, families, kids, teens, adults, celebrities….

And only a really small percentage has seen Ninjago.

This is the first time a ton of people will be introduced to the world of Ninjago and the characters we hold dear to our heart.


Warner-you better not screw this up.

about galra Keith

so does anyone else see Keith being galra as a little bit of a metaphor for being gay?? I mean it’s something he thought about for a while, but could only recently put a name on (which is similar to my experience). Some people didnt accept him at first, namely Allura. 

He also has some quotes that a lot of gay people can relate to, specifically “I didn’t just turn galra!” which is really similar to the “i didn’t just turn gay.“ When Keith rescues a soldier in episode 9 and that soldier turns out to be galra, Hunk asks “so do you all just know each other?” which i thought was really funny because keith’s face afterward was a face i had both made and seen when asked the same question about being gay.

all in all i related to keith’s experience figuring out that he was galra a lot when it comes to my own experience finding out i was gay

Sparks Fly

Reader x Klaus Mikaelson

(NOT MY GIF)

*Requested

Imagine: In 1919, while looking for ripper Stefan, who went missing nearly a year ago, you have a very pleasant meeting with one the oldest vampires in existence: Klaus Mikaelson. 

Warnings: slight smut, bad words and, oh, well, it’s a vampire imagine, there’s gotta be a little blood. haha

N/A - Not quite as you requested, but I hope you like the same way, anon. :) Also, you guys could read this while listening to Sparks Fly by Taylor Swift. I heard it repeatedly when I was writing this one. 

Word Count: 2326 

Dear Damon,

I am aware of the promise I made to sent you a letter every month, so you know that I’m alive, but things have been a bit messy lately. Moving from one place to another has not given me much time to write; actually, my only true focus is finding our brother and getting him back to his oldself. Perhaps I’ll be able to do that here in New Orleans, which, by the way, is a wonderful city. You should be here to see the night lights and cheerful dances.

Oh, shucks! That reminded me I have got to meet up with my friend Lexi in twenty minutes at this famous pub. Apparently, the Original family is here (yes, the one who created all other vampires) and goes there every evening, she thought it would be a cool way to blow off some steam while we don’t find Stefan.

She might have a solid point.

Well, I will not extend myself, for I have to leave, however, don’t worry about me, everything is fine and I got the feeling this it. So, soon enough, we’ll be joining you in Paris.

I miss like crazy those cold winter days…

Anyway, kisses and hugs to you from your loving sister

                                                                                                    Love you,

                                                                                                                      Y/N.


You dropped the exquisite pen on the table and sighed, thinking that what you were telling him was more than enough. Sure Damon would be pleased to hear you were still breathing, because, in his mind, chasing emotionless Stefan was dead end job. Not that he was wrong, but you were never the kind of girl who would leave someone behind, especially if that someone was your own flash and blood.

“Y/N Salvatore!” A voice cut through the silence of your house. “I can’t believe you’re not ready yet.”

“Hey, Lexi.” You smiled and stood up, moving smoothly towards the majestic mahogany wood wardrobe. “I completely forgot we were supposed to go out tonight! That’s why I’m not…”

“Don’t make excuses!”

“I’m not making any.” This time an angry huff slipped, as you diverted your eyes to the well hung dresses, not being sure which one you were going to pick.

The blonde woman, who was with arms crossed against the wall next to your door’s bedroom, rolled her eyes and cave in, as usual, approaching to help you get dressed. She always had a good eye for those stuff, making anyone advised by her look hauntinly fabulous.

A short time later, after your friend decided what was suitable for the place, you stared yourself in the mirror, feeling ready to steal any man’s heart because the baby pink gown you had on highlighted your every curve, also giving an insinuating gleam to your once innocent traits. Absolutely perfect to a girls night out.

“We should go.” Lexi blurted out, after checking on the huge clock placed in one corner. “It’s getting late.”

“I’m sure that doesn’t matter” Your reply was gentle, as you worked on your Y/H/C wild curls. “But if it means that much to you, we can go now. And, maybe, we’ll find Stefan there, or at least a lead on his whereabouts.”

“Oh no.” The girl rolled her eyes, shaking her head. “We’re shutting off the ‘get my baby brother back’ thing for a night.”

“Lexi!”

“Shush. Don’t argue with me.” Now her index finger was pointed sharply on your face. “And listen: I know you love him and that he is very important. However, not everything is about Stefan. Or Damon. You are your own person, so live a bit and enjoy the pleasures of life.”

Somehow, you were not able to shout out a rude response. Instead, after a couple of minutes, you exhaled tiredly and nodded, agreeing that she was right. Lexi squeezed the nude skin of your shoulder and you glanced at her, finding her so sweet and so comforting brown eyes.

“Can we please have some fun now?”

“Sure, blondie.”

“Now that’s the Y/N I know.”

You two shared a quick laugh and left the cosy pension room, going to your natural habitat: the darkness.

Keep reading

Jared

Thank you for making a joke out of my overreaction when you picked me to ask a question. A dear friend pointed out afterward that it was funny that my hand being in the air was a therapy exercise and was not meant to actually be selected. When you two asked what I thought was going to happen, I didn’t have a good answer. Maybe, I thought I would be brave and not have to actually go through with making good on my bravado. Thank you for being patient with me and helping me laugh at myself.

Thank you for putting up with more profanity than anyone should have had to hear so close to their face. A person like you is probably not expecting to have someone say “What the fuck?” when they are less than a foot from your face. Your hand on my face was a little scene out of my own personal hell. Your right hand on my shoulder was a reminder I could turn away and leave whenever I needed to. 

Thank you for letting me hug you so tightly. My body reacted before my brain kicked into gear. I could (almost) handle you repeating “You’re okay. You’re doing so well. I’m so proud of you,” but when you added in “I know how it is,” you broke me a little bit. It hurts my heart that other people have to know what it is to be betrayed by the chemicals in their body. To know what it is like to have “fight or flight” kick in when there’s no threat whatsoever. 

Thank you for letting me run away. 

Thank you for being so kind to me later in the day when you had no reason to listen to me speak. Your sense of humor is a delight. In those few seconds you gave me a chance to laugh at myself.

Thank you for being a safe place. Thank you for taking care of yourself and being brave enough to share that journey. Thank you for your kindness and love even when it’s easy for others to feel unworthy. Thank you for knowing that you are not the problem for people like me. You are a safe place to test out our new coping skills. You are a training ground for bravery.

This was my last convention and I’ll never see you again. Thank you for giving me memories to carry with me.

You know that post on here about not knowing anything at any given time? That’s literally me. I didn’t know Logan was out until a few weeks afterwards. I didn’t know about ASOUE until ALL THE EPISODES WERE UP!, I didn’t know about doctor who last night until just now, I didn’t know that merlin ended until years after it ended, I didn’t know about LOTR until last year ish, I didn’t know that lazytown had a new Stephanie until a few years ago, I didn’t know that Sportacus legit does all of those flips in real life, I didn’t know that Lazytown finished after season 4 three years ago until yesterday. I didn’t know the ocean had a bottom until first year of college. I could not for the life of me figure out the titanic thing (Literally that took all of my friends, several months, and a weird explanation involving a bus and a bike and a car and a person walking before I could even remotely understand it. Like I literally, never, know anything, remotely obvious, until several times after when it’s already passed and I’m like “oh that was a thing? Oh.” JUST ASSUME I DON’T KNOW WHATEVER IT IS! IT WOULD MAKE THINGS SO MUCH SIMPLER! Never assume I know something, because the chances are I probably have no idea.

Benedict Cumberbatch talking about Martin Freeman - Shorlist magazine 15.12.2011

Do you and Martin Freeman have a similar friendship to Holmes and Watson off set?

I absolutely adore him, but I’m more of a pest to him than he is to me. We haven’t seen much of each other because of The Hobbit. I don’t do anything on it until next year. And before that with Frankenstein and Tinker Tailor, both of us have been working back to back. But we had a lot of time on set catching up. I look at him as an only-slightly-older brother. He’d hate me to call him my older brother [laughs].

Is that how you wind him up?

Oh yeah. He’s always telling me I’ve basically come from Hogwarts. He’s this upper-middle-class kid from Teddington and yet I get this massive amount of stick for going to public school. Sometimes I play up to it just to annoy him. This year I was making him laugh and he was like, “What’s happened to you, Ben? You’ve actually become funny”. [Laughs] I just said, “Oh, no, I just gave you an awful lot of space on the floor last year to keep you happy”. He’s hysterically funny. He does things that make me laugh, like, months afterwards.

í just love their friendship and how they tease each other

Phone Sex - Taehyung

genre : SMUT
CONTAINS : phone sex obviously, guided mastubartion, dirty talk…
also… I’ve seen some texts (@bngtnonline I hope you don’t mind please tell me if you do I’ll change it! (I love you texts by the way)) where Taehyung called his girlfriend petal and I just find it so cute so yeah today you are petal.
words : 1,6k

I tag @not-today-tae because she gave me the idea months ago and I promised to write it down and I forgot but then I remembered so yeah sorry my friend ! I hope you will like it ;) <3


“Taehyung”, you moaned at the sound of his voice, earning a loud grunt passing through the speaker of the phone. “I wish you were there”, you whispered, your phone almost falling from your finger as you felt your strength fading from the hand holding the device, the pit in your stomach growing bigger. You were alone, in your small flat, letting out all the sounds your boyfriend was dying to hear.

He had previously phoned you, as usual around 11pm for you, to talk. He spoke about how much Chicago was lovely, how the visit at the zoo was funny (even though he realized afterwards that the animals weren’t happy in captivity), and above all, that he missed you dearly. You heard some loud mocking giggles in the backgrounds, probably coming from Jimin and Jungkook, when he said so. But he just whined, annoyed, telling them go away and let him enjoy his time with his girlfriend.

Weirdly, they agreed –immediately. And after they teased him a few more seconds, they left; of course, slamming behind them the door. You had found it weird the second they agreed, but you soon understood their behaviour when Taehyung’s tone changed as he talked to you again. When he eventually asked about your day, his voice was deep, lower of a few octaves than before.

“It was fine, tiring but fine”, you replied, a small smile creeping up your lips; pointless to say that you already knew what your boyfriend was up to. He’s always been needy, particularly on tour, and the only thing that could ‘cure’ this –as he said- was you and the “melodious sound of your voice”.

“Great, great”, he sighed into the phone, and you heard him shift onto the sheets on his bed.

“What are you doing?”, you asked, doing the same so you could find a conformable position on your bed.

“Nothing much… Just thinking of you”, he began in a hoarse whisper, “and your cute lips, your sparkling eyes and even more those thighs of yours”, he grunted, and you smiled to yourself as your heard him talk.

“Why is that?”

“Ugh, petal, I’m so horny. I need you so bad”, he began, “I even asked the others to leave the room so we could have some time alone”, he eventually admitted, and you swore you almost heard a grunt again. “I think they know why I asked but I don’t care right now”, he chuckled almost darkly, “I really want you, you have no idea”.

“Well that’s too bad I’m not here”, you teased, running your hand up and down your inner thigh, teasing the skin a bit. You smiled when you heard him sigh. You knew he loved phone sex, he was fond of it. He sometimes even wanted to do it when you _had the possibility _to see each other. He was so sensible to sounds, and especially yours. When he pleased you, he made sure to put the right amount of pleasure to hear each of your moans, whispers, or other sounds your body made. All of these made his blood rush down his dick rapidly; and you knew that, and you always were ready to comply. 

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a relationship like no other