... in ways that make me want to roll of a boat

Some hilarious writing prompts

Alright so a few days ago I decided to look for some hilarious text posts on tumblr and I laughed so much I just had to write some prompts! (is possible to be customized)
(Send me requests with 1/1+ prompt/s. I write about a lot of fandoms and also a lot of different things : one shots/scenarios/imagines/headcanons/chats/conversations/aesthetics/alomst anything) REQUESTS ARE OPEN!

*1. Do I look like I give a fuck?
-
*2. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on you again for taking advantage of my compassionate and forgiving nature! HOw dare you.
-
*3. Me? Overreacting? Probably.
-
4. I used to be passive aggressive, but now I’m aggressively passive. Don’t mess with me kiddo. I’ll be right here. I’ll fucking forgive you.
-
5. A: Whar are you doing?
B: Avoiding.
A: Avoiding what?
B: Everything.
-
*6. This was impulsive. Probably shouldn’t have done it. WHO CARES?
-
*7. You’re really cute and it’s ruining my life because I think about kissing you all the time.
-
8. A: It’s okay, I’m not mad.
    A (5 mins later): Actually? You can go to Hell.
-
9. I hate people who get personally offended when I’m in a bad mood, likeI’m not mad at you Susan (name), I’m mad at the world!
-
10. A to A: Bitch, if you actually applied yourself in like…anything, you’d be dangerous ,damn my lazy ass.
-
11. I don’t know what I’m feeling, but there’s a lot of it.
-
12. Not to dictate your life, but drop your shitty friends.
-
13. That sounds like responsibility and I want no part in it.
-
14. Why am I better than everyone? Jesus, life’s hard.
-
15. A: How do you make someone holy?
B: You beat the hell out of them.
-
16. A: I’m amazed of how insignificant we actually are.
B: Not me, I’m important.
-
17. If anyone can do it, then someone who isn’t me can do it.
-
18. In the old days of one week ago things were different. Now look at us - slightly older than we were back then, other clothes and such.
-
19. I’m not going to claim that I know everything, I’m simply going to act like it.
-
*20. You have to “see it to believe it”, so as long as I’m not looking I don’t have to believe in anything.
-
21. I’m visualising a powerful mystical energy at the moment.
-
22. If I don’t learn anything from my mistakes then I don’t have to consider them mistakes in the first place.
-
23. Why the hell is there always this one weak bitch in the group that isn’t down with murder? No offence though.
-
24. A: If you ever feel stupid, or weak, or powerless, just remember that I, am not.
B: THanks.
A: You’re welcome.
-
25. I wanna do dirty stuff with you like farming.
-
26. A: What are you reading?
B: 10 tips for beutiful hair the Government doesn’t want you to know.
A: wHAT the fuck?
-
27. A: I’m tired of these constant near-death experiences.
B: (opinional) don’t be a whiny bitch, bitch.
-
28. Man, how many eye contact until date?
-
29. God has a favourite comedy tv series and it’s called “my life”.
-
30. Sometimes all you can say is “yikes” and then just on the fuck on.
-
31. Why is everyone having their mid-life crisis at like 19?
-
32. It’s a beutiful day to give me money, honey.
-
33. Women aren’t complicated, you’re just dumb.
-
34. Well this social situation isn’t going the way I acted it out in the shower.
-
35. No offence, but my favourite hobby is staying hydrated and beautiful.
-
36. I’m actually pretty cool if you give me like 5 tries to get it right.
-
37. Today I’m feeling cloudy with a chance of sarcastic.
-
38. Be prapared to add a cute emoji next to my name in your contacts list because you’re gonna love me.
-

*39.A: Babe, I’m not grabbing your boob, I’m grabbing your heart.
B: That’s my right boob though.
A: Babe.
-

40.Every machine is a smoke machine if you operate it wrong enough.
-
41.What makes me feel like a failure the most is when I can’t remember the answet to a Harry Potter trivia question.
-
42.I hate it when I’m really nice…And then people are just not that nice? Like what the fuck.
-
43.Don’t look at me in that tone of voice.
-
*44.Is your name candle? Because I wanna blow you.
-
*45. So, was that just awkward eye contact, or were we checking eachother out?-

46.You know, having feelings is ruining my reputation of being a heartless bitch.
-

47.My turn ons? Well I don’t know, maybe some fucking common sense.
-

48.I may seem like an angry person on the surface, but deep inside I’m actually angrier.
-

49.I ship me and that boat.
-

50.Listen. I did mean to make you upset and I do think your opinions are shit. But you’re still my friend so it’s okay.
-

51.Because my two moods are like glitter and death.
-

*52.My kink is closing the fucking bathroom door, because no one wants to see you fucking pee!
-

53.If I go to Hell I’m gonna constantly torture everyone by continuously asking if it’s hot in here or is it just me.
-

54.Oh my God are you seeing this shit?
-

55.Graduated top of my class from Hogwarts school of bitchcraft and misery.

-
56.A (shows up at your door 10 years after we had an argument): aND ANOTHER THING

-
57.I’ll betray all of you in the Hunger Games.

-
58.Well, well, well, if it isn’t my old friend, the dawing realization that I fucked up real bad.

-
59.I’m a screamer. Not sexually, just life in general.

-

60.I’m not racist, I hate everyone equally.

-

61.Tell me I’m cute or something, so I can roll my eyes at you, but then blush when I think about it later.

-

62.You know when your hair is greasy and it makes you feel so bad about yourself? And your entire life. Everything is awful because my hair is greasy.

-

63.True love is having a crush even when he got a haircut you know.

-

64.Emotions? You know, I just push my tear back into my eye and tell it “Not now, you little bastard!”.

-

65.Are we gonna hold hands, or what?

-

66.My soul leaving my body, but with one of those slide whistle sound effects.

-

67.A: I love you.

B: What if I got a bowl cut?

-

68.I should really stop planning my future around being rich or famous…but I can’t.

-

69.I’m aggressively thibking about having sex with you and trying to keep a straight face at the same time. Do you know hOW hard that is?

-

70.My opinion is no.

-

71.Did you fall from heaven, because so did Satan.

-

72.What to hear a fairytale? Once upon a time you weren’t such a little bitch.

-

73.Which is messier - my life or my hair?

-

74.How can you face the problem when the problem is your face?

-

75.Sometimes I wonder what it feels like to know wHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON.

-

76.Read a girl who dates books.

-

77.My hands are cold let me put them in your pants.

-

78.I’m sorry, you must be at least level 4 friend to unlock my tragic backstory.

-

79.My therapist once told me that I have this obsession with seeking revenge…we’ll see about that.

-

80.You have lips, I have lips…interesting.

-

81.Do my dark undereye circles and unwashed hair turn you on?

/PART TWO/ PART THREE /

a friend like mine

 Summary: A discussion about a break up leads to….interesting revelations. || Sebastian x Reader || part 1 of 2

Warnings: discussion of kinks, [in the second part] —> smut and all that entails, thigh riding, choking, some other stuff but i’ll put it in the warnings for the next one

Note: :))))

Originally posted by buckynsebimagines

Keep reading

Tipsy - Request

Requested by anon: I would like to request a Sherlock x reader where he has been drugged and how he’s really cute and a little dirty towards her in front of John. Haha like while “high”. Just super fluffy and cute and maybe a little smutty/implied smut/ a little dirty haha. I get if you’re too busy or don’t feel like writing it, no problem. Love you.
& anon: I have a request for you (if youre still taking..?) so sherlock and john gets drunk and sherlock starts hitting on (and gets kissy and touchy) on reader which has been her girlfriend for months xD ?

Pairing: Sherlock x reader.

Word count: 2,026

Warnings: Just like in “The sign of three” this things gives a lot of twists.

A/N: Drunk Sherlock and Watson are my fave, I loved this so much!

Enjoy!

Sherlock and John weren’t the kind of men to get drunk every week, however and because of the stress they had been put through in their last case, they decided to go to the bar together.

At first it was just beer and talking and complaining, but then, someone recognized Sherlock and decided to put a little something on his beer which, added up to what he had already drunk, ended up turning him into a dizzy, slurry mess.

John was drunk as well, but for a different reason: he had mixed tequila with beer.

They walked – stumbled – their way back to Baker Street. It wasn’t even ten o’clock when that happened, so both (Y/N) and Mrs. Hudson were up and sharing a cup of tea while the boys came back, doing all kinds of strange noises as they walked in that called both women’s attention.

“What are you two doing here?” Mrs. Hudson asked as she and (Y/N) walked out to the stair case where John and Sherlock were laying. (Y/N) couldn’t help but to laugh at the image and the sound of her laughter caught Sherlock’s attention.

“(Y/N)!” He cheered drunkenly, “AREN’T YOU THE MOST BEAUTIFUL BEING ON EARTH?”

“Wow, someone’s loud tonight.” She joked and Sherlock walked to her and held her tightly against his chest.

“You are sooooo beautiful!” He slurred, “And so hot, would you be my girlfriend?”

“I am already your girlfriend, Sherlock.” (Y/N) spoke clamly, unable to contain the giggle that left her lips.

“I’m such a lucky man I’m jealous of myself …” Sherlock cupped her face and started kissing her passionately, like never before. (Y/N) tried to pull away but Sherlock’s grip was tight and it wasn’t until he needed air that he let go off her.

“You’re so drunk!” She giggled.

“And you’re stunning.” Sherlock mumbled, “Delightful, splendid, a Greek muse right in front of me! DATING ME!”

“Sherlock Holmes is a poet when he’s drunk, what are the chances!” Watson spoke from behind, right before he bursted in a dry laughter. Mrs. Hudson laughed with him and then both women dragged them upstairs.

Keep reading

The Dragon & The Wolf

Dragonpit scene - I love how Jon always wants to be on the front row when Daenerys arrives. 

When he said to everyone he already bend the knee. Danys face— she knew what that line meant. And was conflicted about how to react to this. They already know they are falling hard. At least she does and things like these doesnt make it easier. 

Ok I feel myself coming into a rant here. Its just so beautiful to me how Jon is so different for her than any other man she has ever met. I am rewatching GOT and she has never been around any man like she has been with Jon. 

He intrigues her so much and I don’t think she ever had or felt that for anyone. Her feelings for other men were always clear for her. 

She loved Drogo but it was set up and she fell for him during their relationship. But I feel like that relationship formed who she is now and she didnt really knew who she was back there. She loved -spending time with- Daario but she was always in control with him.

Jon is a completely different story for her. And Emilia plays that so well. He brings out this really special vurnable side of Daenerys we have rarely seen.

And she fell for it, and fell for it hard. 

She was so desperate to save Drogo and her decisions didn’t make any sense and I like how she was the same when she heard of Jon & co being in trouble. She didnt listen but just thought with her heart.

– k I am gonna stop here. I am not even close to Boatsex talk and I am already rambling —

“No one is less happy about this than I am” “I know” Love. Loved. LOVE this. How she just understands him. 

They are both people who ask for respect and honesty. She always asks people to follow her and wants their word and he is a man of his word so its only natural she understands it. Its like the scene he told her he was gonna go to the wall as well. She hates that he is this way but she also respects it. (and finds it extremely attractive).

Also, subtle handtouching. Like you touched last week and now you just wanna get more huh? 

THAT SCENE IN THE CORNER OF DRAGONPIT. They were like 2 schoolkids being all secretly. 

And again, I love how Jon kinda drops a cheesy line there and at any other man she’d roll her eyes but with him it just makes her heart drop.

And him trying to make a joke there. Like here they are, her dragon just died, his plan is going to hell and they share this beautiful bittersweet moment. 

Her whole speech about having to trust him sooner was so heartbreaking cause maybe then her dragon would still be alive. (I am gonna cry when she’ll see Viserion for the first time) 

Dragonstone scene - can they buy a mansion there?

THIS. THIS. Haha Jon, I am so onto you. First the cave paintings and now -Notherners like people who arrive together-trick. Yeah you just want her on that boat huh?

I felt so bad for Jorah tho’. She completely ignored his plan. And she knew she did that. At the end of the scene she leanded to the table a little like trying to hold her posture but full aware that many people, including Jorah, knows about her affection to the King of hte North. 

I find Jon much harder to read. But I think it is beautiful to see how he didnt trust her at first and really does see her for who she is. Like he told her. And how he is so amazed by her. He is so starstruck. I never really liked Jon with Yigritt she was definitely his first love but Dany is something he really pines for. Yigritt was also wrong and impossible but it happened anyway. Here he knows there is much more at stake. But he can’t deny his feelings any longer. And thats why he showed up at her door.

Now about Boatsex, I would have loved for it to go differently - well actually not different just - longer. More build up. But I understand why it went the way it went. Jon knew what he wanted and I love how they let the moment last for a bit with him standing at her door, looking in her eyes, waiting for her approval and she knew what he meant by looking in his eyes and let him in. She bend the knee. 

I was dying for a kiss here. And a little sad it didnt happen - there will be a lot of fanfic request about the missing part between the door and the bed – hint hint. 

But its like we are still gonna get our first kiss in season 8-kinda.

It was so beautifully brought yet stil hot. Jon’s ass was a nice distraction ASS-well. 

And him taking over control was so hot, not only for me but I think Daenerys agrees. Their bodies looked so beautiful together. Fire and Ice. They were so full of need and it was all lust and passionate and then my favorite part came and Jon broke the moment and we had time to realize that this isn’t just two character hooking up. No, they are in love. 

And he was so amazed by her and her beauty and how pure she looked. You can really feel he looks at Daenerys here, not with all the titles but just her and she realized this and she looks so vurnable and just so beautiful to him.

You can really see her kinda scared about what this is she’s feeling and it all just because so overwhelming for them. UGH THIS SCENE.

HOW HE STROKES HER HAIR. SO BEAUTIFUL. 

And how she hold his face. 

And then he just looks at her, when he looks at her, its like the first time I see clearly through his feelings and he just lets his guard down. He loves her. There’s no way to run from his feelings. No more excuses of -the great war is coming-. He never really let his feelings for her take over. Never fully thought with his heart and here he does and he just let it take over.

I just—-

Ps: Tyrion watching was odd but it just represented the scene Bran was talking about how their love ruined all kingdoms and how Tyrion cant feel but sad and confused about what he should do about this and if it is the right thing.

I am not sure how I will make it until 2019 to wait for more and I am so curious to see where all this will go. I am really curious how they will act after this episode and they will probably learn about Jon’s family name soon enough with only 2 episodes in and I do feel this will cause a problem for them. Jon will be all - wtf and Daenerys will be distrustfull about her claim to the throne. But I can suspect moments of Jon being all noble and telling her, by episode 5 probably, that he doesnt want the title but he does want her. Oh and she is definetely pregnant. BRING ON THE ANGST. 

Cant wait for Arya’s reaction to Dany btw. 

– Now I am off to fanfiction land – 

Thank you for an amazing 7th shipping season.

+ bonus

Gif credit 

Most badass/funny scenes from the Shadowhunter Chronicles + My personal faves

So, I just hit 1000 followers here on Tumblr and to celebrate it I decided to make a positive post for once :D People have been accusing me of being too angsty but what they don’t know is that it fuels my energy. Ahem, here they are

TID: (TFSA/ TBC)

- “James Carstairs! Jem! Where are you, you disloyal bastard?”

- She must be dead if she doesn’t respond to my advances. C'mon Will

- I could kill Will if I really wanted to ( ͡⌐■_-■) - James Carstairs 1878

- “Will smiled the way Lucifer might have smiled, moments before he fell from Heaven.”

- Certified Idiot Debate

- Sophie knocking out Jessamine and Will proposing to her

- The whole cannot fight in a wedding dress convo™ . It’s even a meme lol

- Gideon’s proposal. Cutest thing evah

- You really seem to like that horse!

- Gabriel throwing a shopkeeper out of the window cuz he showed Cecily some nudes inappropriate pics

- Will’s fear of ducks

- Will breeding a species of cannibal ducks

- Will’s proposal

- Tessa not allowing Will to drive. Lmao

- Will naming his son after Jem :D

- “Spoon” - James Herondale 1899

- James Herondale being all emo and dramatic because of Grace. And Jem and Tessa being like: Not this shit again.

- Just Will and Tessa being parents

- Jem making a break for it after meeting his crush Tessa on the bridge. #relatable

- Jem mentioning orgies <- I swear, the whole fandom gasped at this

- Will defying the laws of death to attend the wedding of his OTP. Classic Will

TMI (TFSA/ TBC) :

- I turn myself down occasionally just to keep it interesting

- Jace running down Madison Avenue naked with antlers on his head. Drunk

- Mangoes ™

- Does he normally lie like this on the floor?

- I am pure at heart, it repels the dirt  (◡‿◡✿)

“That you seem to be dating my dad?” Jace shrugged. “You’re a little young for him, to be honest.”
“What?” For the first time since Jace had met him, Sebastian seemed flabbergasted.”  <
-this convo is gold. fight me on this

- Magnus’ voicemail in MBC

- Alec falling down the stairs of Magnus’ apartment. I see a patern. The Lightwoods suck at flirting

- “I am not your bitch” - Alexander Gideon Lightwood 2k14

- Alec murdering Meliorn for kidnapping Magnus. 

- Alec noticing the After Sex Glow! on Jace. Lmao.

- COHF!Alec in general

- Jace healing Jem. My heart  ಥ_ಥ

- The first thing Simon remembers is biting Jace and rolling around with him on the bottom of a boat. That’s not gay. At all.

- Tessa giving Jace the Herondale ring

- Tessa and Jem drugging Simon and Clary. Lmao. Why is no one talking about this?

- George and Simon befriending the rats in the Academy

- Simon becoming a Shadowhunter.  ಥ_ಥ

- Jace teasing Simon about their friendship

TDA:

- Everything Emma says to be honest

- Julian’s speech about love

- Mark putting Tavvy in a bag of sugar because he wanted to be in a bag of sugar. Parenting done right

- Mark’s coat scene.

- Ty sleeping in front of Kit’s room

- Kit caling everyone hot.

- Mark aka Julian on drugs.

- Church’s judgy face  ಠ_ಠ

- Every time Jem mentions Will.  ಥ_ಥ

- I don’t date Trees - Emma Carstairs 2k16

- Kit’s first response to almost being beheaded: Wow, beautiful. 

- Kit being a Herondale

- Emma saying “Sleep my love” 

- Annabel stabbing Malcolm. Lmao. Karma’s bitch. (ʘ‿ʘ✿) <- Annabel

- Emma killing the rider and destroying the Mortal Sword. Slay queen

- Julian’s response to almost dying: Sass. Stop it! That’s Percy Jackson’s job

- Blackthorn’s reunion on the London Institute  ಥ_ಥ

- .。*゚+.*.。 Garbage Fire! .。*゚+.*.。

“And if we don’t have Energy runes, we’ll have to get our energy the old-fashioned way.”
Mark looked puzzled. “Drugs?”

- Julian and Emma throwing shades at Shadowhunter family names

- Julian putting his tongue in Emma’s ear. 

- Emma attacking Diego with fire ants. 

- Livvy hugging her sabers and saying “I missed you so much." 

- Julian’s pseudonym: JuliEn 

- The Pillow scene: #obliviousEmmaisoblivious 

- “ ‘Draw me like one of your French girls.’ 

- Mark talking to the gnome   〃゚ー゚) i’m watching you gnome.

- Kieran’s "How dare you?” after being drugged and Mark’s: “He always falls asleep like that.”

- Dru hiding from everybody to avoid responsibility. Relatable Dru is relatable 

- Kieran and Cristina dancing

-  “ Julian Blackthorn. … who could descend into Hell and come out with the devil himself owing him a favor.” <- Scary and thriling at the same time. I love it

These are all I could remember. Please add more of your own favorites :D

Can You Keep It? [j.j]

Originally posted by matthew-daddario

Title: Can You Keep It?
Fandom: Riverdale
Characters: Jughead Jones x female!reader, Archie Andrews, Betty Cooper, Veronica Lodge, Kevin Keller, Reggie Mantle
Warnings: Swearing, definitely not my best writing :(
Word Count: 1,185
Requested: Nope (because requests are closed y’all)
Short Description: You and your boyfriend, Jughead, are trying to keep your fresh relationship a secret after the town’s golden boy is murdered. You are unconvinced that he can keep the secret. As it turns out, it’s you that reveals your relationship.
A/N: This is my first Riverdale story and I don’t read much Riverdale fanfic so I’m not exactly sure if this fits in but… here we go!

Disclaimer: not my gif

[Y/N] = your first name
[Y/L/N] = your last name


The student lounge was, as always, fairly crowded. Students were lounging around the room, chatting, staying away from the outside or finishing any last minute homework. It was also an area where the primarily “popular” people tended to spend their lunch times, as they were “too cool” for the library. Quiet chatter was all that you could hear as you attempted to concentrate on your English homework, answering a ridiculous essay question for Wuthering Heights. You were sat with Betty and Kevin, working on some homework as Ronnie sat close to Chuck Clayton, undoubtedly chatting him up with her implausible Veronica Lodge charm as she sipped on coffee.

Then there was Jughead Jones, in all of blue-green eyed magnificence. Jughead was tall and lanky, with pale, creamy skin and his signature frown on his face. A bag was draped over one of his shoulders, a raven black jacket covering his maroon hoodie. He seemed to always bury himself behind clothing in dark shades, but you liked the way that it made his eyes stand out so much. His back was sloping alongside the wall next to the vending machine; people watching. Jughead’s trademark crown-shaped beanie was placed atop of his head of ebony hair, and the sight alone made me bite back a grin. Noticing your gaze, Jughead looked in your direction before sending you a quick and discrete wink. You winked in return before glimpsing over at Veronica to explain why your head was turned.

Jughead had been one of your best friends since before you could recall. It was virtually like Betty and Archie; you and Jughead been intimate friends since the single digit days. Any vital childhood memory you could think of had Jughead present; just the way you wanted it. Initially, you had presumed that Jughead had fervent, platonic feelings for you. At some point in the summer of Jason Blossom’s death, you were proven wide of the mark, when Jughead unpredictably declared his love for you. Fortunately, there was something inside of you that was sure you felt the same way.

On July 4th, Jason Blossom had gone missing and was presumed to be dead after his twin sister, Cheryl, emerged after their boat capsized. It was a scandal that had taken over the entire town of Riverdale, so you and Jughead had agreed to keep your relationship away from your friends until the right time to tell them came around. You were less than persuaded that Jughead would be able to keep this secret, but after his fall out with Archie over the summer, he didn’t have many people to tell. Usually, Jughead and Archie told each other everything, but it seemed that the both of them had been keeping secrets.

Keep reading

Confessions - Carl Gallagher Imagine

Originally posted by zgallagher

Warning: Sexual content, swearing, etc.

Word Count: 2277



“Carl, give it back!” you yelled, rolling your eyes and chasing your best friend up the stairs of the Gallgher house.  Since you had stopped to text a few times while the two of you were playing a video game on the couch, he took it upon himself to snatch the phone out of your hands and run away with it.

“Hey, I just wanna know who could possibly be so important that they could distract you as I kicked your ass in Call of Duty,” he teased, sprinting into his room and unsuccessfully attempting to slam the door before you put your foot in the doorway.

“Ow, what the fuck, Carl?” you yelled, limping in on the foot that hadn’t been crushed by the door.  “I was literally just answering my brother to let him know that I was spending the night here per usual!  And I was letting him know that I’d go grocery shopping tomorrow.  Now give me my phone back so I can finish kicking your ass downstairs.”

Carl smirked and raised his eyebrows at you, plopping down on Ian’s empty bed.  “Your brother.  Mhmm.” His eyes continued to nosily scan the screen of your phone.

“Yes, Carl, my brother.  I’m pretty sure we both know that I have nobody interesting to text considering I’ve been single for, what, six months now?  Now give me my phone back,” you demanded, inching forward and banging your hip into his dresser.  The rocking of the dresser caused a box to fall on the ground, spilling out its contents.  A smirk formed on your lips as your eyes scanned the ground.  It was your turn to tease him now.  “Ah, nice condoms.  I see someone has been getting the ladies?”

Carl immediately shot up to his feet, shoving you to the side and bending down to pick up the condoms off of the ground.  “Ha, I wish,” he said with a chuckle, a slight blush forming on his cheeks.  His shaky hands struggled to shove the contents back into the box.

You raised an eyebrow in response, stepping forward and ripping your phone out of his back pocket.  “What do you mean by that?” you questioned, walking around him and climbing up onto his bed as he remained on the ground.  “We’ve been best friends for years and I’m pretty sure we both know you’ve had your fair share of girls over here.”

“Yeah, I have, but…” He paused for a moment as he shoved the box into one of the drawers and slammed it closed.  “I’ve never gone, like, all the way with any of them… you know. Sure I’ve done just about everything else, but I’ve never actually done that with any of them.”  It was pretty clear he was embarrassed to confess this to you.

The smirk reappeared on your lips as he hesitantly climbed up onto his bed and plopped down beside you, his eyes refusing to meet yours.  “Wow, Carl Gallagher, a virgin?  When did you plan on telling me this?” you mocked, shoving his side before giggling quietly to yourself.

Carl clearly wasn’t amused.  He rolled onto his side so his back was facing you.  “Stopppp.”

You laughed yet again and rolled your eyes, squeezing his shoulder.  “I’m just messing with you.  I’m in the same boat as you.  No need to be embarrassed.”


“Really?” Your words caused Carl to roll back over to face you, his eyes scanning your face.  “Hmm. Interesting.”  Slowly, a smug grin formed on his lips.  “I guess that makes me feel a little better, but not completely.  Now since you’ve embarrassed me, it’s your turn to confess something about yourself.”

Your eyes widened as you shoved his chest with the palm of your hand.  “What? How is that fair?  I just confessed to the same thing!” you exclaimed, but Carl wasn’t having it.

“Nope,” he responded with a chuckle, grabbing your hand off his chest and holding it in his own a few seconds longer than usual. “You can’t have the same confession as me.  It has to be original.”  He was relentless.

“Ugh, fine,” you huffed, rolling over onto your back and staring up at the ceiling.  After a few moments of silent pondering, an idea finally came to your mind.  “I’ve never had an orgasm.”

The sheets ruffled as Carl shot up into a seated position on the bed.  A puzzled look took over his face as he stared down at you in disbelief.  “Wait, huh?”

You bit your lip as your cheeks began to heat up.  “I mean, yeah, is that so weird?”

Carl went silent for another few seconds, combing his fingers through his wavy hair as his face remained scrunched up in confusion.  “Well, yeah, kind of,” he started, nodding his head. “I get that you’ve never had sex, but I know you’ve done just about everything else with your past boyfriends.  And, what?  I just don’t understand.”

Your cheeks darkened even more as you looked down and began to play with your fingers.  “Sure I’ve done a lot of things with my past boyfriends, but… I don’t know.  None of them ever really brought me to that level.”

Still, Carl looked confused.  His eyes wouldn’t leave your embarrassed face as he tried to figure this out.  “Okay, so like, obviously your past boyfriends went down on you, right?”

This wasn’t exactly how had planned to spend your Friday night.  With a sigh, you sat up and rested your back against the wall.  “What do you mean by obviously?  Joey attempted it but got ‘tired’ and gave up after like thirty seconds. And Matt and Ben never did.  Matt said that it was weird and he’d rather not do it.  Ben said that girls like to go down on guys but guys don’t like to go down on girls.” You shook your head and covered your face with your hands.  “Can we please talk about something else now?”

Carl held up his hand in rejection and shook his head.  “No, no, no.  Not yet, Y/N.  I’m still confused,” he said, his wide eyes still burning into your face.  “So you’re trying to tell me that all three of those guys didn’t like going down on their girlfriends?”

“Yes, Carl, I guess that is what I’m saying,” you replied, beginning to get a bit annoyed.  “Why is this so hard for you to understand?”

Finally, a quiet laugh escaped Carl’s lips, but he still continued to shake his head.  “So you’re trying to tell me that there’s real guys that exist that don’t like to go down on their girlfriends?”

“Oh my god, yes, Carl.  That is what I’m saying.” Plopping down on your back again, you grabbed his pillow and threw it at his face.  “Enough now.”

“Wow.” He still wasn’t done.  “You’ve dated some really fucking weird guys, Y/N.”  When you only responded with an eye roll, he finally allowed himself to lay back down beside you.  “But still, never had an orgasm?  That’s insane.  You’ve been deprived.”

Your eyes at last met his as you shot him a glare.  “Wouldn’t know.”

“It’s amazing.  Heavenly, almost.  Feels so good it’s almost indescribable.” Carl’s eyes glowed as he described the obviously incredible sensation you had never experienced.  “Wish I could help you out with this one.”  After realizing what he said, the boy let out an awkward cough as his eyes darted to the ceiling.

“Yeah, me too,” you murmured, your cheeks changing to match the current color of his.  Not wanting to make things too awkward, you cleared your throat and sat up.  “Okay, we’re done with this.  Now it’s time for me to kick your ass in Call of Duty.”

The topic was dropped and the rest of the night was spent playing video games and stuffing your faces with junk food, which were your usual activities.  But something was different.  There was a tension between the two of you that usually wasn’t there.  Every so often, you’d catch Carl staring at you, causing his eyes to immediately dart away whenever you noticed.  More than once, you’d both go to reach into the bowl of popcorn between you at the same time and your hands would brush and linger near each other for a few moments too long.  The typical banter you two always shared now almost appeared to be what it always had been but neither of you would admit: flirting.  Sleeping together had never been an issue for the two of you, but tonight it was much more difficult for you both to get comfortable – not too close or too far away from one another.  Spooning was never weird before, but tonight Carl seemed extra fidgety as you pressed your backside into him.  Still, neither of you addressed the change and eventually managed to drift off to sleep.

You felt like you were on top of the world.  In heaven.  Straight ecstasy.  What a dream.

Your eyes flew open but the feeling didn’t go away. Your legs began to tremble as you propped yourself up on your elbows.  “F-Fuck… Carl?”

The moment you spoke up, the blankets were pulled back from your stomach and Carl’s face became visible between your thighs.  He looked up at you, flashing you a smirk.  “Good morning.  Wasn’t sure you were ever gonna wake up.”  Without another word, he inserted two fingers inside of you and moved his face back between your legs, darting his tongue across your clit.

The sensation was too good that you hardly knew how to react. A gasp escaped your lips as you bucked your hips up toward his face, increasing the pressure.  It was in that moment that it started to dawn on you what was happening.  “W-Wait. F-Fuck, Carl.  S-Stop,” you breathed out, but you knew it wasn’t what you wanted.

Carl pushed your hips back down on the bed and resurfaced again, pushing his wavy hair out of his face.  A smirk formed on his lips again as his eyes glanced between your shaking thighs and your awe struck face.  “You really want me to stop?”

Without another word, you pushed his head back down, caving into the feeling that was taking over your body.  “Don’t stop,” you demanded, contradicting your previous statement and tangling your fingers into his messy hair.

Carl immediately began to move his fingers inside of you again, his lips moving around your clit as he began to suck and swirl his tongue around at the same time.  Your moans got louder, causing Carl to increase the speed of his fingers.  His tongue was now gliding up and down your clit, increasing the pressure each time he made it to the top.

That was all it took.  Your hips ground against his face and you tugged on his hair, your eyes closing tightly as you climaxed and came against his tongue.  

As the world spun around you, you felt Carl climb back up and take his spot beside you, propping himself up on his elbow.  While you recovered, you could feel him staring at you, his eyes filled with nothing but admiration.

When you were finally able to catch your breath, you rolled over onto your side to face him and raised an eyebrow at him, grinning.  “Wow.”

“Sorry I didn’t wait to ask for your permission, but you were kind of moaning my name in your sleep beforehand, so I saw it as the perfect opportunity,” he said with a chuckle.  After a moment, the smile fell from his lips and he rolled onto his back. He cleared his throat and bit down on his swollen lower lip.  “And, uh, I don’t know if it was just me, but something felt different between us yesterday and, um, yeah… Kind felt like all those repressed feelings finally started coming up or something… I don’t know.”

Shaking your head, you moved closer to the embarrassed boy, cuddling into his side.  “It wasn’t just you.”

A small smile formed on Carl’s lips before it transformed into a smirk.  “You know, I once read that in order to have an orgasm, you need to be physically attracted to the other person.”

Rolling your eyes, you pushed Carl onto his back and climbed on top of him, straddling his waist.  “Yes, I’m attracted to you.  I guess everyone was always right whenever they said that we couldn’t just be friends,” you confessed, raising an eyebrow at him as a bulge began to form through his pants.  “And I’m guessing the feeling is mutual.”

Carl’s cheeks darkened a bit, but the smirk remained on his lips.  “You’re right.  I don’t go down on just anyone… Recently, at least.”

“How could I ever repay you?” you flirted, leaning down and resting your forehead against his.  You could tell you had the upper hand for once from the way he swallowed the lump in his throat and stared at you with wide eyes.  “Remember that confession you shared with me yesterday?”

Carl furrowed his brow and gave you a questioning look. “The one where I shamefully told you I’ve never had sex?  Yeah, what about it?”  God was he slow sometimes.

Brushing your nose against his, you wrapped your arms around his neck.  “How would you feel about changing that?”

That was all it took for it to click in his head.  His eyes widened for a moment before he grabbed your hips and flipped you over so he was on top.  He flashed you a smirk before brushing his lips against yours.  

“I guess maybe we’ll be able to call it even then.”


———-


Once again, I’m new to the game on here so please let me know if you enjoy! xx

the bittersweet between my teeth

Pairing: Daenerys Targaryen x Jon Snow
Rating: Explicit
Word count: 3,750

Belowdecks, all Jon could hear were the creaks of the boat as they rode the gently rolling waves to White Harbor and his own quick, shaky breaths. He lingered outside the queen’s quarters, shoring up the courage to knock. There were no sounds coming from beyond the door. Perhaps the queen was already asleep. Perhaps, despite the lingering looks, first in her council room then later in the mess hall over dinner, she wasn’t waiting for him at all.

He wet his lips, eyes boring into the finely carved Targaryen sigil in her door. It was foolish to be nervous. He could face down the White Walkers and their dead with all the grit of a true Northern-born son, lead the Night’s Watch and thousands of Wildlings as Lord Commander, and protect the people of Winterfell as King in the North–but all that went to shit when Daenerys so much as looked at him, that violet-hued gaze as sharp as Valyrian steel.

And yet, whatever misgiving he had about being here, he knew she wouldn’t turn him away. It was inevitable he’d end up here. He knew that much.

Gods be good. One more deep, fortifying breath, and he rapped a sharp knock on her door. He didn’t wait long for her to answer. Hazy lighting from candles and a crackling fire illuminated her silhouette from behind as she opened the door, staying her movements at the sight of him. There was surprise in that normally impassive, steely-eyed stare. And–acknowledgement, he thought. A shared understanding.

She knew it was inevitable, too.

Keep reading

Heart on the Line (part 1)

Masterlist

You and Bucky had your differences in college, but now you need a place to stay and he needs a roommate, and in order to make ends meet, you two start a phone sex line together.  

“For a Good Time, Call…” AU


author: sugardaddytonystark (formerly buckysbackpackbuckle)
pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
word count: 1516
warnings: smutty smut smut and dirty talk (future chapters)

Keep reading

TRC ask game
  • Gansey: Do you have a fav historical figure?
  • Blue: Favorite constellation?
  • Ronan: Favorite animal?
  • Adam: Your proudest achievement to date?
  • Noah: Do you believe in ghosts?
  • Henry: Do you prefer writing, speaking, or some other form of communication?
  • Orla: Do you paint your nails? What's your fav color?
  • Declan Lynch: What's your dream job?
  • Aurora Lynch: What do you look for in a romantic partner?
  • Niall Lynch: Do you have any recurring dreams?
  • Ashley: Do you have knowledge about any topics people wouldn't expect you to?
  • Neeve: Would you ever want to be famous?
  • Matthew Lynch: What's your favorite season?
  • Helen Gansey: Do you have any siblings?
  • Aglionby Academy: What's your favorite subject in school?
  • Mountain View: What's your attitude toward school?
  • Nino's Pizza: What's your fav pizza order?
  • Litchfield House: Do you prefer having lots of friends or only a small few?
  • 300 Fox Way: What's the most magical place you've ever been?
  • Monmouth Manufacturing: Is your room messy or neat? Do you make your bed regularly?
  • Cabeswater: What's your dream vacation destination?
  • Henrietta: Describe your hometown.
  • St. Agnes: When's the last time you saw your whole family?
  • The Barns: Describe a memory of yours from childhood.
  • The Grey Man: Describe your ideal date.
  • Maura Sargent: If you were lost somewhere, who would you want to find you?
  • Persephone Poldma: Have you had any important mentors or teachers?
  • Calla Johnson: What's your favorite thing to drink?
  • Mallory: Coffee or Tea?
  • Colin Greenmantle: What languages do you speak?
  • Piper Greenmantle: Chapstick, Lipstick, or Lipgloss?
  • Jesse Dittley: What's your favorite flower?
  • Whelk: What's your biggest regret?
  • Kavinsky: Are you easily distracted?
  • Opal Lynch: Describe your best friend.
  • The Pig: What's your dream car?
  • The BMW: Do you consider yourself a good driver?
  • White Mitsubishi: What's the most dangerous thing you've ever done?
  • The Hondayota: Do you have any goals you are working towards?
  • The Dream Pig: If you were going a road trip, what would be your top 3 must-see destinations?
  • Gwenllian: What's your fav song/album/artist to listen to right now?
  • Glendower: What time period in the past would you want to live in?
  • Chainsaw: Do you have any pets?
  • Boat shoes: What quirks do you have that make you unique?
— off limits | 06 (m)

pairing— kim seokjin x reader
genre/warnings— angst, smut and fluff !! Seokjin finally grows some balls ;)
words— 14,153

:: summary— you’ve been lusting after your brother’s best friend for a while now, ever since you met him at a house party, flirting it up a storm as you failed to realise who the other was. That was months ago now and things are still awkward, but you can’t ignore the sexual tension that’s simmers between the two of you…and it keeps getting worse…

  » 01 :: 02 :: 03 :: 04 :: 05 :: 06 :: 07 :: 08

Keep reading

Dirty Laundry - Lip Gallagher Imagine

Originally posted by lipgallaghersaysfuckyou

Word Count: 1854

Warnings: Sexual content, swearing… Pretty much what you’d expect from Lip



It was almost time for your quantum physics test. Whistling to yourself, you walked down the hallway of your dorm floor in a t-shirt that was a bit too small and your underwear.  They were the only clean clothes of yours that remained, as you had put the rest of your clothes in the dryer about an hour before.  

“Are you fucking kidding me?” you yelled as you entered the laundry room, noticing that your clothes had been taken out of the dryer by another student and placed on the floor in a soaking wet pile.

“Jesus, not that I mind, but I think there might be some rules against walking around here like that,” a voice from behind you commented.

Spinning around on your heel, you set your dark glare on the blue-eyed boy in front of you who was holding a hamper full of dirty laundry. You recognized him to be Lip Gallagher. You’d bumped into him a few times in the hallway and had seen him at some of the parties you attended, but you had never really interacted with him.  

“Yeah, I’d fucking love to be fully dressed right now but some fucking piece of shit took my clothes out of the drier while they were still soaking wet… and fuck, I have a physics test in fifteen minutes and I can’t miss it or… fuck,” you rambled, your voice starting to break at the end. As your eyes started to tear up, you turned back around so your back was facing Lip.  You hadn’t expected to get so upset, but you had spent so much time studying and the stress was beginning to send you over the edge.

“Hey, hey, it’s alright,” Lip said quietly as he stepped closer to you, putting a comforting hand on your back.  “Some dick pulled the same shit on me before and I ended up missing the test.  But it looks like you’ve still got a little bit of time.  I can’t promise I have anything that’s going to fit you nicely, but I’ve got some sweats and a hoodie you could borrow for the time being back in my room.  Let’s say I take care of your laundry for you too.  It’s going to be okay.”

Turning back around to face the boy behind you, you raised an eyebrow.  “Really? I mean, you don’t have to, but it would literally mean the world to me,” you mumbled, sniffling softly.  You were taken aback.  The only comments you had ever heard regarding Lip suggested that he was a sarcastic asshole, and here he was putting his life on hold to help you out.

“Yeah, really,” he replied, giving you a half smile before grabbing onto your hand.  “But let’s go… Wouldn’t want you to run out of time.”  Immediately, he began to run down the hall with you behind him, only stopping once he reached what appeared to be his room.  Once you two were inside, he rushed over to his dresser and pulled out a pair of baggy grey sweatpants and a hoodie with ‘Chicago Polytechnic’ printed on the front of it and threw the clothes in your direction.

“Thank you so, so much.  I don’t know how I’ll ever repay you,” you said sincerely, ripping off the shirt you had on and tugging on the clothes he had given to you.  “I’ll come by tonight when I’m done classes to give you back your clothes.  You’re a saint.”  You began to pull the door open.

“Not quite, but not a problem.” Lip chuckled, taking a seat on his bed and waving in your direction.

“Once again, thank you!” you yelled one last time, holding onto the baggy sweatpants so they wouldn’t fall as you sprinted down the hallway and out the door toward your lecture hall.

Much to your surprise, the day had gone a lot better than you had expected it to.  You had made it to the lecture hall with a minute to spare and felt as though you aced the test.  You had received many looks due to your unruly appearance, but it didn’t bother you. You were able to make it to the test fully clothed and on time, and that was all that mattered.

Clearing your throat, you reached up your hand and knocked on Lip’s door.  You had promised to return his clothes to him and you couldn’t wait to thank him yet again.

A few moments later, the door opened and Lip appeared in the doorframe with a slight smirk on his lips, looking you up and down.  “Have you ever considered buying clothes your size?” When you responded with an eye roll, he chuckled and stepped to the side.  “Kidding.  Come on in. How’d the test go, by the way? Did you make it in time?”

Stepping inside, you flashed him a smile and nodded your head. “Yeah, I did.  Felt pretty good about it too,” you commented, leaning against the now-closed door.  Biting your lip, you looked down and started to play with your fingers.  “By the way, sorry if I freaked you out earlier by being so emotional.  It’s just that I’m on a scholarship to be here and if I couldn’t be there to take that test and pass it, I could’ve lost it and I wouldn’t be able to go here anymore.”

“You’re kind of freaking me out right now.” Lip’s mouth twisted into a grin as he sat on the edge of his bed.  “You literally sound like my spitting image.  Exact same thing happened to me about a month ago.  That’s why I was so eager to help… And I also might’ve had a word with the guy who took your clothes out of the dryer once he came back to get his stuff.”  He chuckled quietly and motioned to the chair at his desk for you to sit down.  “Oh, by the way, your clean laundry’s over there in the corner.”

Smiling to yourself, you stepped around him to take a seat at his desk.  “I’m just glad somebody finally understands.  I feel like I’m surrounded by a bunch of rich kids who have had everything handed to them their whole lives.  Where I’m from, nothing ever comes easy.”  A sigh escaped your lips as your leaned back in the chair.

“Jesus, where have you been these past few months?” Lip exclaimed with a chuckle, laying back on his bed.  “Also, did you say earlier that you were going to take a physics test?

Nodding your head, your eyes began to scan the contents on his disheveled desk.  “Yeah, I’m a physics major.  Think I wanna be an engineer or something.  You know, something where I’ll finally be able to make some money.”

“We’re in the same boat there,” he commented, his eyes scanning you as you began flipping through one of the textbooks on his desk. “You know, I feel like I’ve seen you around at parties.  How are you pulling off the whole physics major and partying thing at the same time?”

A smirk formed on your lips as you slammed the textbook closed and stood up, now in front of the side of his bed.  “Hate to break it to you, but you’re not the only one who can be a physics major and still have a good time, Lip,” you teased, glancing down at your phone.  “I should probably get going though.  Got another test to study for.” Looking over at your laundry folded in the corner, you undid the tie on the sweatpants you were wearing.  “Shit, I still have to give you back your clothes.”

The corners of Lip’s mouth twitched upward as he raised an eyebrow at you.  “What do you think this is?  You’re just gonna strip in front of me?”

You rolled your eyes, but you could feel the tension rising between the two of you.  “Please, you act like you mind.”  Leaning down, you pulled the sweatpants down and took a step forward out of them.

“You know, I really don’t,” Lip noted, reaching forward and grabbing the fabric of the front of the hoodie you were wearing and pulling you closer to him.  “In fact, I’m pretty sure it’d be more efficient if I helped you out.”  

Suddenly, you forgot all about the exam you had to study for.  Biting your lip, you slowly sat down on his lap on the edge of the bed and wrapped your arms around his neck.  “Oh yeah? And how would you do that?”

Without another word, he slammed his lips into yours, leaning back onto his bed and taking you with him.  Quickly, he flipped you over so he was on top, leaning down and kissing up your stomach as he slowly dragged the hoodie up your body and over your head. “I was thinking something like this,” he murmured into your skin, attaching his lips to your neck.

A gasp escaped your lips as he began to suck on the skin, reaching down to pull down his pants and boxers, and then watching as he pulled off his shirt.  

“Someone’s a little urgent, hmm?” he teased, slowly peppering kisses down your collarbone until he reached the exposed skin of your breasts.  His lips wrapped around one of your nipples, his hand moving to work on the other breast. Despite his teasing, moments later, he pushed inside of you.

“F-Fuck, Lip,” you moaned out, grinding your hips up into his. Your head flew back against the pillow as your hands found his back, your nails dragging down the skin.

Your response only caused him to start moving in and out of you faster, one of his hands reaching up to grip onto the headboard so he could deepen his movements.

His lips found yours again as he continued, the kiss sloppy but with a sense of passion and urgency.  At this pace, it didn’t take long for either of you to finish.  A few moments later, you moaned out and dug your nails deep into the backs of his shoulders, climaxing and allowing your head to fall back against the pillow.  “Holy shit.”

Lip came moments later, pulling out before rolling off of you and collapsing next to you.  His chest rose and fell rapidly as he tried to control his heavy breathing.  “Wow,” he muttered, rolling over onto his side to face you.

When you were finally able to steady your breathing, you rolled over to face him and raised an eyebrow at him.  “I had planned on saying thank you again, but I’m not sure if right now is the best time.” You giggled softly, biting your lip.

Lip smirked at your comment, his hand reaching out and resting on your cheek.  He started to chuckle as his thumb massaged your jaw, his dazed eyes staring into yours.

“I clean your dirty laundry and all I get out of it is a scratched up back and dirty sheets?  You know, I’m not sure if you’ve fully repaid me.  I’m not done with you just yet.”


———-


Thought I’d switch things up and go for Lip this time.  Once again, let me know what you think! xx

I was inspired by @lazulisong‘s utter brilliance.

The moment Takeshi learned of Yuuri’s ginormous crush on Victor Nikiforov, he lifted Yuuri’s sweatshirt, took a big handful of belly, and shouted loud enough to wake Yuuri’s dead grandmother, “Keep dreaming, round boy! Victor would never want a tubbo like you!”

Oh, but if only Takeshi knew that Victor Nikiforov not only wants a tubbo like Yuuri but that he cried when Yuuri announced that it was time to drop the weight in preparation for the new season. Cried actual tears. The kind of tears usually reserved for deaths in the family or losing everything in a fire. The kind he shed when he thought Yuuri was breaking up with him. Bitter, heart-wrenching tears that leave him red-faced and heaving, then stumbling around hours later, wrung completely dry.

To be fair, Victor cries like that about literally everything—Yuuri landing a quad, surprise candlelight dinners, children in oversized parkas, murals that feature the color cerulean, dogs in movies (not just when they die, but when they’re there at all), the fourth ringtone on his new phone, daffodils, the word ‘sorbet’, and aerosol deodorant—but what Takeshi doesn’t know won’t prove him right, so.

“Maybe you can postpone it another week,” Victor mumbles into the kitchen table, where he fell into a chair and just sort of… deflated everywhere. He’s lying on top of the newspaper. Yuuri really wants to read it.

“You told Yurio he should’ve started training two weeks ago.”

Victor gives a despondent shrug. “He should’ve. Instead he’s been spending all his time Skyping with that degenerate.”

“You love Otabek. You hugged him and said you were proud to welcome him to the family, then you dumped a bag of condoms in his lap and cried because—and I quote—you were trusting him to take care of your most precious child.” And then a mortified, blushing Yurio slammed the airport shuttle door on Victor’s fingers.

Victor’s bandaged hand lifts and cuts through the air as though it were a tiny boat sailing on a choppy sea. Yuuri isn’t entirely sure what it means, but whatever it is? It’s suitably dramatic. “Yurio’s different.”

“Except not really.” Across the table, Yuuri studies the part in his hair, which looks a little… wider than usual. And sadder. It looks like a frown. He wants to lean forward to touch it, but that would do nothing except set Victor off again, and at the moment there isn’t enough fluid in Victor’s body to sustain him as it is. Instead, he pushes his own glass of orange juice toward him. “Vitya, please, drink something and replenish, would you? I don’t want to even think about what the headlines would say tomorrow if I let you pass out while we’re running this evening.”

At that, Victor lifts his head. Yuuri could skate an entire program based on the sheer betrayal on Victor’s face. “We’re running already? But we can’t! Not yet! I'm—You’re not ready. Another week. I’m putting my foot down, as your coach.”

“You’re a terrible coach,” Yuuri says. “I mean that. I want that on record. I can’t believe I’ve put my career in your hands. Can I fire you?”

“I’m a good husband, though, so it all cancels out,” Victor points out, which, okay, fair point. And he proves it by sliding both of his hands across the table and making grabby motions with his fingers. Well, one hand does. The bandaged one looks like a mummified sock puppet. “Don’t leave meeeeee.”

“I’m not leav—” Yuuri pauses, then rolls his eyes so hard he’s almost positive that he sprains something. “Oh. You were talking to my—”

“Squishyyyyyy.”

It comes out on the back of a long, sinuous whine. At Yuuri’s feet, Makkachin stirs, and he places his foot gently on her back and rubs until she settles. “I’m not going to bust my ass twice as hard just so you can manhandle me whenever you want.”

Victor’s head thunks back onto the table between his outstretched arms. “But you’re so soft and squishy, and it’s my favorite, and soon you’re going to be all bony and hard.”

“You’ve never once complained about me being hard,” Yuuri deadpans, then hides his face in his hands, because honestly. Victor cackles dementedly. “Look, I know you like my… well. I appreciate it, but I really need to start training yesterday if we’re going for the gold.”

Victor throws himself off of the table and drapes himself backward over his chair with a groan that honestly deserves an award. “Fine! Fine. Nobody ever told me that so much of being married is making sacrifices.”

It would be so easy for Yuuri to just turn his head and stare at the framed cross-stitch on the microwave that reads Sacrifice is one of the purest and most selfless ways to love someone. Practice it daily. Instead, he nudges the glass of juice a little closer, because, well. Sacrifice.

“Buck up,” Yuuri says cheerfully. “I’ll be back to being squishy before you know it.”

With a grumble, Victor reaches for the glass.

And while no one could ever accuse Yuuri of being the type to hold a grudge, he can’t deny the small, dark part of him that wants to call up Takeshi right this second and crow, “Round Boy got his, you jerk!”

My Immortal - Loki x Reader

Title: My Immortal

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Word Count: 2,838

Warnings: Very subtle spoilers for Thor: Dark World and Civil War

Summary: He is a god and he is a master in lies. Death for him can’t be this easy. But you never thought he’d lie to you about something like this, something so important that actually broke you. You return home to find a “gift” waiting for you from Odin himself and it is finally time to have a talk with it… while living the rest of your life with it on Earth.

A/N: Not betad, I apologize for any mistakes!

“Tony, please.” you said with a half-whine and half-giggle as you unlocked your apartment door.

“Come on, come on just one more!” the man at the other end said with a chuckle and you had to stifle a giggle once more.

“Tony!” you whined again, walking in the almost pitch black apartment “My stomach can’t take it anymore. What’s up with you and jokes, are you that bored in the meeting? And how the heck does nobody else tell you to shut up?”

You complained about it but truth was you needed the pick up and hearing your friend laugh, this much at that, after everything that had happened and sound like his old self again was really more than you could ask for. None of you were the same anymore, and maybe you had to endure twice the pain after what had happened in the dark world as well.

Keep reading

the timing is all wrong- h.s imagine

Originally posted by irinagudronchik

“Y/N!”

You chuckled softly and excused yourself from the conversation you were having with one of your friends.

Harry drunkenly plopped his body next to yours, his body almost on top of yours. He buried his face into your neck and smiled.

As if your hands had a mind of their own, they started to rub his back in a soothing matter. “How are you doing, birthday boy?”

Harry hummed and pulled his body back so he could look at you properly. He had a stupid, drunk, smile on his face. “I’m having the time of my life!”

You laughed, heart swelling at your best friend. “Good! You deserve the world.”

Even in Harry’s drunken state, his stomach did backflips hearing your words.

“Harry! Come on, let’s dance!” a female voice shouted from the middle of the dance floor.

You cleared your throat and nodded your head towards her, “Your girlfriend is calling you.”

Harry looked back between Brooklyn and you. He opened his mouth but was interrupted by Brooklyn calling him once again.

You tapped on his cheek, “Go! We’ll talk later!” Harry gave you a peck on your cheek and promised to meet up again later and proceeded to dance with Brooklyn.

You stared as he wrapped his arm around her waist and gave her a hard kiss to which she returned, her arms wrapping around his neck. You cleared your throat and looked down at the beer bottle in your hands before taking a long chug from it.

Louis came over and sat next to you, placing a hand on your thigh. He leaned into your ear and whispered, “I saw that.”

You looked at Louis and smirked, “What? Saw Harry acting like a proper drunk idiot?”

Louis shook his head and returned a smirk back to you, “No. Saw you drooling over the drunk idiot.”

You smacked Louis hard on his chest. “I told you that in secrecy!”

Louis rubbed where you hit him and gave you a look, “Oi! I haven’t told anyone!”

You narrowed your eyes at him, “I’m surprised you haven’t with that giant mouth of yours.”

Louis held his hands up in defense, “To be honest with you, I am too.”

You gave him one more look before the two of you burst out into laughter. You shook your head and looked back to Harry and Brooklyn dancing to a slower song, arms wrapped around each other. Still looking at him, you told Louis, “Doesn’t matter. He would never feel the same anyways.”

The next morning, you woke up to a slight headache. Damn it. Should have drank more water last night. You picked up your phone to see several messages from Harry, no doubt he texted it to you when he was drunk; the thought making you smile softly.

Y/N love! Miss you!

We should totally rent a boat.

Promised you a dance! Where r u

Did u leave u dick

LOL you don’t have a dick

Wait do u

Y/N?

Y/N!

ANSWER ME.

You laughed at Harry’s texts, wondering how in the world could he ever get these kind of ideas in his head. You glanced at the time at the top of your phone and figured you should make sure he got home alright.

“Hello?” Harry groggily answered.

“Morning sunshine.” You smiled getting up from your bed, heading over to the kitchen.

“I am anything from being in a sunshine mood this morning” Harry said, eyes closed, snuggling into his covers. “Can you bring me breakfast?”

You shut your fridge door and balanced the phone between your ear and shoulder, twisting a water bottle open, “Pass.”

Harry groaned loudly into the phone, “But it’s my birthday!”

You gulped down your swig of water, “It was last night, idiot!” Harry pouted, “But I’m hungry. And you love me.”

You rolled your eyes and chuckled. Harry whined, “Please Y/N.”

You sighed and smiled, shaking your head. “Fine.”

Harry cheered before wincing from the sudden movement, very hung over. “Maybe bring some aspirin as well.”

You were humming to yourself softly, holding a bag filled with Harry’s favorite breakfast: Avocado toast. Yours: A chocolate croissant.

You walked up to George, Harry’s doorman and dropped a bag in front of him. You smiled, “Hey George.”

George looked up at you and smiled before reaching into the bag. “Morning Miss Y/L/N.”

“I grabbed you a breakfast sandwich this time. George put his hand over his heart, “A woman that knows my heart.”

You laughed and walked away, “See ya, George!”

After taking the elevator to Harry’s apartment, you finally got to his door. You pulled his spare key out of your pocket and unlocked the door. You shut the door quietly, careful not to make too much noise. You placed your purse and bad with food on the counter. You began to walk to Harry’s bedroom but froze instantly. You heard a very loud moan come out of his room. You peeked your head from behind the hallway and were met with a rather disgusting sight. Brooklyn was on her knees in front of Harry. You quickly turned around and walked away, picking up the food and purse on your way out. Once you finally exited his apartment, you leaned against the door and sighed. She must of came over as soon as we hung up. Not wanting to let the food go to waste, you reached into your back pocket and pulled out your phone.

Breakfast?

Louis sat at his dining room table, hand on his chin, pouting, “If I knew you were going to give me this, I wouldn’t have answered your text.” You shrugged your shoulders, finishing the rest of your croissant. “Harry loves that.”

Louis crossed his arms and mumbled, “Harry also likes sardines.”

You wiped your mouth before Louis spoke up again, “Why didn’t you just give him this then?”

You picked at the button on the top of your shirt, “I was but decided not to.”

Louis stared at you, “Brooklyn was there wasn’t she?”

You sighed and shook your head yes. It wasn’t that you didn’t like Brooklyn. She was a very sweet girl. You tried to look for something small to dislike her but unfortunately, you couldn’t. Brooklyn was lovely. She was someone Harry needed.

Louis bit his lip, a look of sympathy on his face. He didn’t understand how Harry could be so blind. Y/N was perfect in his eyes. She was funny, the right amount of sassy, and beautiful. Anyone would be lucky to have the honor to call her their girlfriend. Wanting to change your mood, he asked, “Let me show you something.”

“Louis! That was awesome!” You shouted. The two of you were sat in Louis’s mini studio inside his apartment. He just played back a song that he was recently working on, planning for it to be his next hit.

Louis pressed the stop button and smiled brightly at you, “You liked it?”

“Loved it! So proud of you!” You smiled, giving him a hug. Louis smiled and hugged you back a little tighter, “I’m glad.”

Harry was sat on the couch in your living room apartment, feet on the coffee table. “I feel like I haven’t seen you in a while.” You came back into the living room, popcorn in your hands. You sat next to him, getting into the same comfortable position as well. You shrugged your shoulders and grabbed the remote, going through the DVR. You clicked on the episode of Game of Thrones you were looking for and nestled into the couch a little more. “Wait, you skipped an episode. We didn’t watch that one yet.” Harry interrupted you.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I forgot I watched that episode with Louis the other night” you said, grabbing the remote again. “I’ll watch it again if you’ll like.”

Harry turned his body so it was facing you, “Since when have you and Louis started hanging out?”

You shrugged your shoulders once more, “We’ve always hung out.” Harry scratched the back of his neck. “Yeah..but never alone..”

You gave him a confused look, “What does that have to do with anything?”

Harry sighed, “It doesn’t but I didn’t know you guys were on that friendship level..”

You gave him one more look before laughing, “Louis is great company, what’s the big deal?”

Harry got back into his position and rested his arm around your shoulders, pulling you closer, a sense of worry going through his body. “I’m being silly, sorry love. Can we watch the episode?”

You were holding your chest, trying to gain your breath back. Louis stood next to you, tapping his foot, hands on his hips. “Y/N-” You held up your finger, still trying to catch your breath.

He rolled his eyes. “Oh for fuck’s sake, Y/N it was only a block!”

You and Louis started to grab some takeout. While you guys were walking back to his apartment, it started to rain. Not wanting the food to get ruined, Louis suggested the two of you to run the short distance. Finally, you were able to breathe. You narrowed your eyes at him, “I could have slipped on the rain and died.”

The two of you stepped into the elevator, he smirked at you. “That would be an unfortunate way to die. ‘Girl defeated by rain.’ Now that’s a buzzfeed article I would read.”

Ever since Harry’s birthday party, you and Louis became insanely close. At first you saw Louis as a distraction from your feelings for Harry but eventually you grew to really enjoy his company. Louis always admired you and hanging out with you lately has made his feelings for you grow more.

After the two of you finished the food, you really wanted to hear Louis’s new song again. Louis pretended to be annoyed but his heart warmed at the thought of you loving his song. As Louis played back the song, you began dancing like a mad woman. Louis was watching you, laughing at your horrid dance moves. As you were dancing, your foot caught on one of the wires that was on the floor. Louis quickly grabbed you before you fell to the floor. You placed your hands on his arms and looked up at him. You don’t know who kissed who first but you soon found yourself sitting on Louis’s lap, hands tangled in his hair. The two of you kissing as his song was playing quietly in the background, repeating itself.

You were walking to your door, hand in your hand, smiling at Louis’s latest text to you. You quickly sent him a text, arranging to meet up later. As soon as you opened the door, Harry was on the other side. His hand was up, looking like he was going to knock before you opened the door. “Hey. what are you doing here?” you asked, putting your phone into your back pocket.

“I broke up with Brooklyn.”


part 2?

just your heart beating close to mine

for nurseydex week, day 2 - bed sharing

Nursey’s a clingy drunk.

Freshman year, Dex hated it. He and Nursey spend all their sober time bickering; fighting nonstop about everything from politics to slapshot form to whether ketchup belongs on scrambled eggs (Dex will never fucking admit it, but he’s actually started to find it delicious; Nursey can never know). But the second Nursey slips over the line from tipsy to drunk, he’s Dex’s best friend–hanging off Dex’s shoulders, draping his feet into Dex’s lap, hell, draping himself into Dex’s lap, two hundred pounds and then some of languid muscle. He’s sweet when he’s drunk, his chirps soft and fond instead of scathing, and his fingertips are gentle when they wander over Dex’s skin, dipping under the collar of his t-shirt, brushing against the short hair at the nape of his neck.

And Dex hated it, because morning would come, and hungover Nursey is clingy too but not in the same way, and they were always back to sharpness, and Dex would have to pretend he didn’t get home from those kegsters and throw himself into very, very cold showers.

Sophomore year, it’s a little better. They’re friends more often than they’re not, but on the flip side, that means the rest of the team actually trusts Dex to be on Nursey Patrol (“If you don’t want to kill him all the time, we can probably trust you to make sure he doesn’t drink himself into a coma,” Bitty said cheerfully the first time, shoved Nursey, already tipsy, towards him, and disappeared onto the dance floor with a solo cup in his hand).

Except Nursey Patrol, he learns, doesn’t end with the kegster. No, Nursey Patrol ends with Nursey safe in his bed, at least out of his shoes but ideally in something comfortable enough to sleep in, after a cup or two of water and two tabs of Aspirin, his phone plugged in and the door to his room locked.

(Dex does not want to know the series of events that led to this level of Patrol being in place. If he thinks about it too hard, his chest starts to hurt, and he doesn’t wanna deal with that.)

But–

“Dexy,” Nursey says, as Dex manhandles him down to his bed and then flops down next to him, hauling Nursey’s foot into his lap to start on his shoelaces, because Three Cups of Tub Juice Derek Nurse is not a Derek Nurse who has the coordination for tasks involving dexterity. Dex had said that, once, and Nursey had said “ha, Dexterity,” and giggled for ten minutes. “Dex, will you stay with me?”

(read the rest on AO3, or read more below)

Keep reading

Bit of a Flirt

Request: Can you do a TJeffs image with 16,18, 21?

16: You’re cute with glasses.
18: What are you five?
21: Don’t give me that look! It’s not my fault!

Pairing: Thomas Jefferson x Reader

Warning: lots of sexual innuendos/jokes, swearing? but when do i not swear in fics lmao

Kink Tag: none!

Period: Modern

Song: “Thin Air” - Olivia Holt ft. Jordan Fisher

A/N: So I collabed with @daveeddiggsit for this one and it ended up way cuter than we expected?? lol hope you enjoy!! (also there are several criminal minds references bc i’m like that)


You pushed your glasses back up the bridge of your nose as you continued typing away at your final thesis paper of the semester. Hair up in a bun, and some ratty university sweatpants on, you were looking a little worse for wear. But that was normal during finals week, right?

The library you had been holed up in for the past five hours was dead silent, allowing you to completely focus on your paper. Your eyes were glued to your laptop screen when you heard the sound of a chair scraping backwards but you were too in the zone to look up. As long as they didn’t disrupt your concentration, you’d be good.

“You ever think that the reason you’re wearing glasses is because you’ve been staring at that screen pretty closely for about two hours straight?” You heard a curious, deep voice interrupt your thoughts.

“You ever think about how the library is a quiet place for people to work,” you retorted without looking away from your screen.

“If you really want a quiet place to work, we could head back to my place and work on some other things too, if you know what I mean.” You could practically hear the smirk grow on his face.

“That sounds like one of the first lines in a Criminal Minds episode. Hard pass.”

“You like Criminal Minds? How about you let me profile you.

You finally glanced over and you could see that there definitely was a smirk on the very attractive man’s face. His hair was wildly curly, yet somehow tamable to an extent, facial hair adorned his defined jawline, and his amused brown eyes stared into your slightly-narrowed ones.

If you weren’t supposed to email this paper to your professor in six hours, you probably would’ve taken him up on his advances, but what was more attractive than Smirky Guy was an A on your paper. Which you then turned back to.

“Are you seriously just going to keep ignoring me?” He asked.

“Yup.”

“I’m just going to keep flirting with you until you talk to me.”

“You call saying random pick up lines to a girl whose name you don’t know and receiving little to no response flirting?”

“Yup.” He said, mocking you.

You rolled your eyes and continued to type your paper.

“Aww, come on, four eyes, take a break and talk to me. It won’t hurt anyone.”

You completely turned to him. “‘Four eyes,’ really?” You raised an eyebrow at him. “What are you, five?”

“Hey, ‘four eyes’ isn’t a bad thing. You look cute in glasses.” He grinned at you and even added a wink this time.

Keep reading

I will make them pay for this

Originally posted by dailyalexhogh

Pairing: IvarxReader
Rating: Explicit
Words: 3,735
Warnings: Mention of rape and death, a little bit of blood, cursing, a fight

Notes: Hello everyone! Here’s my second one-shot which prevented me from studying for my upcoming exam! But I’m not complaining! English is not my native language, I’m sorry if there’s any mistakes. I hope you’ll enjoy it!


You could hear the laughs and music coming from the feast, which took place in the great hall, not too far from the hut you shared with your husband Ivar. It was a celebration night, like every night was since the sons of Ragnar came back a week ago, boats full of gold, silver and slaves. You wished you could have gone with them; it’s been a long time since you fought and you missed it. But, you were a mother of two beautiful babies now, your son Sigtrygg was 5 years old and your daughter Freydis was 3. They became the most important thing in your life; you had to stay alive to raise and protect them. 

Keep reading

Apples and Heroes

Originally posted by kissthejotun

Request: Can you please do a Star Trek story with Bones and the words “an apple a day keeps the doctor away”, “your pulse is weak,” and “all the apples in the world wouldn’t stop me.” They aren’t in your prompts list I hope that’s okay? Thank you!

Keep reading