... but it makes sense if it's taken that way i suppose

Unpopular Voltron opinion, with meta to back it up.

I don’t think the big Keith and Lance scene in episode 6 was meant to be seen as having gone well, or for things to be getting back on track in regards to Lance’s doubts. I’m actually pretty sure the conversation unintentionally made things with Lance even worse.

Just because Keith and Lance shared a scene alone together, without any fighting or outward disagreements, does NOT mean it went well. I know everyone who is a Klance shipper wants that to be the case, but the whole “5 feet apart” jokes and logic with their ship shouldn’t suddenly change the emotional tone that is ACTUALLY present here.

Do not get me wrong, it is clear that both of them wanted this talk to go well without any confrontation, and to talk with a level head and with honesty. They have both grown as people to realize this. It doesn’t mean there wasn’t a major miscommunication here. 

Lets go through this moment by moment, shall we?

Keep reading

CANCER: Lately it seems like everywhere you look there’s another promise shattering at your feet and you can’t even think about cleaning it up yet because that makes it official. That makes it irreparable. You want to hang onto the person you were when these pacts were made, when you still believed that the people you loved were incapable of hurting you. I know it’s difficult to accept that the summer night buzzing with cicadas in your chest is going to fade to autumn, and then to winter. But sometimes you need to let things die in order to try again, and that doesn’t mean you’re giving up. It means that you’re choosing yourself over the shards at your feet.

LEO: It’s terrible that no matter the length of time that you manage to hold onto something beautiful, it always takes twice that amount of time to forget about it. It’s been weeks since your heart was ripped from your chest and you’re still dreaming nightly about icicles and dark movie theaters and other things that can’t stay. I know that this is something you’ve heard before and have refused to believe, but you deserve people that don’t leave. You deserve people that know what to do with everything that you give them. You deserve more than what you think you do.

VIRGO: You’re starting to wonder if you really made the right decision, all of those months ago. Forgetting the love that you buried under an unmarked gravestone has been more difficult than you thought it would be, even with your cement-infused heart. How long has it been since you’ve washed your mirror? You should know better than anybody that trying to evaluate yourself under a sheen of dirt is next to impossible. It’s okay to go back through the photo albums just like it’s okay to discard anything that makes you feel as though you’re trying to run through quicksand. Choose for yourself.

LIBRA: There’s a big part of you that wants to climb atop the nearest mountain and scream until your voice gives out. Scream until your efforts make a difference. Scream until your family decides to let you make your own choices. Scream until the world notices you. Scream until something, anything, works out. I don’t blame you for feeling angry or upset, or as though you’ve been shorted happiness that you deserved to get back. Things haven’t been working out but you need to remember that it isn’t your fault. It isn’t always your fault. Don’t bottle up your frustrations.

SCORPIO: You’ve brushed so much under the rug that it’s become noticeable. There’s now a lump to avoid in the center of your floor and the only thing left to do is confront it. But it’s been so long since you’ve let yourself ruminate on the cobwebs in your memory that you’re scared to acknowledge the spiders that made them. There’s no telling what’s waiting for you, and putting it off is so much easier, I know. You’re so much stronger than you think you are, though. You survived the mess its first time around and you’ll survive it throughout its victory lap. The house will feel so much safer once you get this done.

SAGITTARIUS: The best and worst days of your life tangle up so often that you’re beginning to wonder if they’re secret lovers. It seems like you can only ever be rewarded after something is taken away, like your happiness is a set of scales that somebody with a bad sense of humor is in charge of regulating. The fact that you manage to prosper despite these odds is a reason to be proud of yourself each and every day. I know that you don’t hear this too often, but I mean it when I say that you’re doing incredibly well despite the moonless nights you’ve had to endure. Don’t be afraid to let joy run rampant in your life. She’s kind.

CAPRICORN: The future feels like an avalanche that’s barreling towards you without any sign of slowing down and lately laying down in front of it has been looking like a better and better option. I know that it’s discouraging to see people younger than you are putting their life together without an instruction manual, but it’s okay to not know how everything is supposed to connect yet. You have so much time to determine who you want to be, and where you want to be it. Anybody that pushes you to think faster isn’t worth the effort to think about them. Stand tall when the storm hits, you’ll be surprised by how much you can handle.

AQUARIUS: It’s difficult to mask your impatience when it comes to personal reinvention. You’ve been waiting for so long to feel this free and susceptible to the world, you want your skin to pick up its pace: shed and regrow into something that feels more like a home and less like a body. You’re forgetting that everything meaningful takes time to reach its zenith. You know, you deserve something that doesn’t bite back when you try to feed it. And this time the universe is actually attempting to give you that. Good things are here, embrace them.

PISCES: You’ve been feeling more grateful than ever for the experiences you’ve had and the people that you’ve met, and I’m so happy that you’ve been feeling that type of light. Too often you’ve found yourself in situations not worth remembering and with people not worth your friendship, but not now. It’s okay to let your guard down, to bask in the rays of what you’ve sown. It’s improbable to believe that you will never again feel the wound of sadness, but it’s okay to live as though you won’t. You’re allowed to be happy about what you have.

ARIES: You’ve never felt this free before. It’s almost as if the past few years were all just leading up to this current era of your life. With all of this change I know that it can be difficult to decide what you should keep in your life versus what you should discard, but you have to trust yourself and your instincts. It may be easy to prioritize the happiness of those around you but prioritizing yourself should always come first. If something is causing you great stress, you’re allowed to get rid of it. You’re allowed to do what’s best for you.

TAURUS: Lately the past has been digging into you like a shovel to the earth and you’re tired of waking up with new reasons to remember what you’ve been trying to forget. The good news is that these incoming negative thoughts are no longer a cruel surprise. The bad news is that these incoming negative thoughts are no longer a cruel surprise. Sure, the distance between you and the last person you gave a piece of yourself to might be endlessly fluctuating and uncertain in its boundaries, but that doesn’t mean its grip is powerful enough to stop someone like you from thriving. Go on a road trip. Control your own space. Tell yourself that it’s okay to let go of what’s already let go of you.

GEMINI: You’ve been finding yourself on your own a lot more than usual and this isn’t something you’ve been coping with in the healthiest of ways. It doesn’t seem fair that you always have to wonder about your expiration date, about how long it’ll take for people to deem you rotten and toss you in the trash. I don’t want to lie and say that this will definitely be the last time that you lose someone you believed to be permanent, because it most likely won’t be. But I can assure you, the people that are capable of meshing with your vibrant personality will know how to stick around. You don’t have to worry about being alone forever.

Aries —
oh, my sweet, sweet child, what has the world done to you? you were a bright promise,
the tomorrow we had hoped for, holding flowers in your mouth without crushing them
and trusting blindly in those around you. and then came the blood; and now your fire
is a quiet thing, a crackling murmur hidden in the shadows. you’ve curled into yourself
like a newborn babe, held your heart tightly to your chest and began the tedious healing.
and all the salt in your tears made the deep wounds sting; was it this what kept you pure?
I wonder, oh, I wonder. before you, I had never seen an anathema so full of innocence.
(the world tried to cast you down from paradise; and it succeeded. but the fall couldn’t
maim you, for fire cannot kill fire – it simply shrunk you, much like a mimosa bloom.
I hope one day you’ll feel safe enough to flower, for there is so much beauty in you.)


Taurus —
I wish I could wrap my hands around your shoulders and hold you close for a while,
because oh, what sad things they are, your bones. I am so sorry, beloved; so very sorry.
and I am well aware these apologies cannot change anything, but I want you to know
that there is someone who sees you as you are – even when all the others see is your
superfluous frivolity and your desire for riches, I see the thoughtful mind, the gentle
gestures, each and every of your heartbeats. the song of you is imprinted into my memory
as the change in seasons is; you are unforgettable, something so precious and so very dear.
(don’t let them shame you for your greed – those who try to do so cannot wrap their
all too little minds around the fact that sin is not necessarily negative. your love for gold
has root in the same place as your love for others; you only want it so you may share it.)


Gemini —
it’s lonely, isn’t it? not being the way all others are. they tell you you’re a forgery, that your
smile is a mask and your composure an act, simply because they cannot accept the idea
that people are supposed to be multidimensional. on and on they go, pinning their ignorance
to you under the name of blame, seeing in you only that which they wish to see. sometimes,
you wish you were like them. I know you do. you shouldn’t. it might be lonely where you are,
but that doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing; lonely doesn’t mean secluded. there are others like you,
with minds like diamonds. others like you, who are only habitual in their tendency for change.
(you will find someone who can make sense out of you, one day, you know. they’ll know you
better than you yourself do – every single aspect of you, every single frantic facet and feeling.
and when you do, the wait will be more than worth it. I promise you won’t die nor live alone.)


Cancer —
you poor, poor, poor thing. it’s been a thousand years since you’ve curled into yourself, hid
your heart deep in the cradle of your ribs and let yourself sleep; then the time came for you
to awaken, and you found the world unchanged – it was as if everything had stood still.
reality swept into you like saltwater into gaping wounds, and every fiber of your soul wept.
fearful, you took the broken glass road still, walked it fully aware of what laid in waiting;
like a bride the night she is wed to a stranger, you swallowed your terror and saw it through.
often, those ignorant make you out to be such a bumbling coward. you’re not. you just aren’t.
(in fact, you’re on of the bravest people I know; it takes so much courage to let the world
see you weep – and it takes even more of it to wipe your tears and keep moving forward.
above all, it takes immense courage to allow yourself to love even when you know it’ll hurt.)


Leo —
the size of your heart puts to shame both Jupiter and your own pride and ego; to this day,
I am not sure if you would have been better off with one much smaller, but I know for sure
the world would have been emptier by far. you see, your touch is one of gold; whomever
you decide to invest your time and love into grows the size of Atlas, and so, without you
as you are now there would have been much less in the world. that is your downfall, isn’t it?
always has been. the way you’ve always put others first, giving them all of you, never asking
for anything to be given to you in return. you are a gardener, dearest, and people are your roses.
(it breaks my heart that all your selfless effort was almost always repaid in hurt and sorrow;
know that you are not to be blamed for any of it. you have done nothing wrong – sometimes,
things simply fall apart. don’t shut your heart. I’d hate to see your love rot and turn to hatred.)


Virgo —
you have endured well the contempt of others, my dear; you have taken every blow with open arms.
they have called you frigid and prude and arrogant and everything in between, but you knew better.
tell me then: if you can endure so well the slander of others, if you don’t care what they make of you,
why do you worry so? why do you see only blemishes when you look at yourself in the mirror?
your hesitance to trust others stems in your fear that if you let them in they’ll see your ugliness, all
the imagined imperfections you see in your reflection. you can’t trust others because you don’t trust
yourself; and I wish so badly that you would have a little more faith in who you are, in your beauty.
(being unable to forgive, jealousy and lust do not make you terrible. hate is human nature as much
as love is; emotions, be they bad or good, are intrinsic to mankind. you are such a passionate being,
despite your outward delicacy, and that, my dear, is simply stunning. please try to love yourself.)


Libra —
darling child, didn’t the gods tell you the mob sees dancers as something of the devil, especially
when their preferred stage is the sharp edge of a sword? few in this world love truth, and fewer still
are fond of things like righteousness and justice. your ability to remain indiscriminate in the face
of contradictory realities and deny none of them is both a blessing and a curse. your mind, I fear,
is the Pandora fate has crafted specifically for you; a beautiful gift that hides such doom and sorrow.
and you are aware of all of this – how you were meant for greater things, with your noble mind
and your true heart, yet on you dance, fighting against the windmills of adversity. how brave you are.
(know that your effort will not go without reward. know that you won’t be forever unloved, nor
will you be forever misunderstood. there will be those whom, like you, have the makings of just men,
and they will understand. keep your eyes open and search the crowd; that is what you do best.)


Scorpio —
I look at you and my heart grows small; there is so much sadness in you, from the flower
of your eyes to the slouching arch of your shoulders. you have been misjudged
and falsely accused for so long: whore, they said; monster, perverter, sickness of the soul –
and all of it because you like sex, as if somehow they are the virgin mary reborn,
the goddamn hypocrites. this, too, is something they have misunderstood; it is not sex
that you crave or are interested in. it is intimacy: it is the vulnerability that comes with having
your soul completely bared and lain before another; you crave love, in its’ purest of forms.
(and I know they have convinced you that someone of your kind is not “worthy”; fuck that.
your love is priceless, and one day someone will call your battle scars a masterpiece.
one day someone will love you as wholly as you deserve to be loved. they will love all of you.)


Sagittarius —
there is such wanderlust in you – you’ve made a home out of the long, long roads,
walked the earth to its’ ends and bathed in the oceans of the horizon; the sky was
your sole companion, its’ stars your map, the wind a spellsong to ward off the passing
sadness and melancholia that threatened to dim the flame of your heart. oh, my child;
how very wonderful you are, a barefoot nomad forever in awe of the world. the feeble
minded call you rootless; how wrong they are. having a voyager heart does not make you
afraid of commitment. it simply means your roots lie elsewhere, splat across the world.
(do not let their malice plant doubts into your mind’s garden; your gypsy heart is worth more
than all their empty ones combined. keep daring the world, sate your thirst for journeying;
only exploration can ever lead to discovery, so let your feet and head both walk the world.)


Capricorn —
good god, you’re so tired. life has worn you down to the marrow of your bones,
took everything from you until you were bare-handed; and yet.
and yet you’re still here, standing before me, your spine hardened to titanium,
a delicate thing that can withstand even the most apocalyptic of sieges;
you still find it in you to smile, bitter-bloody-all-teeth and still happy, somehow.
know that I am proud of you; of your bravery, of your resilience,
of how you’ve clung to life by the skin of your teeth. I am proud of you.
(and know that you deserve happiness – you may feel like you don’t, you may feel
that it is above the likes of you, but you deserve it; you have earned it.
know that one of these days, the sun will shine down on your lane, too.)


Aquarius —
there’s so much of you inside your skin I am often surprised it has yet to come apart at the seams;
there’s so much of everything inside your skull I am left in awe of your bones – often I wonder,
how are they strong enough to contain the exploding universe inside? my god, this world of ours
has seven wonders and you are all of them. the fortitude of your bright mind ceaselessly
surprises me; I know what to expect, and yet I am still thrown off by your ingenuity and your
ability to remain rational in your abstract ways. nobody but you is open enough to accept it all;
nobody but you can see through the prism of all eyes and walk away with their sanity intact.
(I know they call you “cold”, an ice queen of the Siberian tundra. let them be. those who cannot
see your white-hot warmth are not worthy of your brilliance. you are the brightest star, my dear,
someone accepting and embracing of it all. do not settle for anyone that is blind to your light.)


Pisces —
and how terrible it must be for you, who lives always halfway, to be stuck in a world
that demands certainties which you will never have to give. it is not to say you don’t want
to be resolute – you simply cannot. your world does not have truth, nor does it have falsity;
all that your world has are colors, swirling, forever mingling anew like the clouds in the sky.
one day you are overflowing with everything that blooms inside of you, and lilies
are spilling out of your ribs; the next, you’re empty, and you can’t for the life of you
find something that is all-encompassing enough to fill the growing abyss south of your sternum.
(know that it is okay. the most humane thing you can be is full of contradictions;
as maddening as it can be, each paradox gets you closer to the entity your peers call god.
it was never the devil that built his home on the crossroads, you know. embrace your nature.)

—  poetry for the signs: the “you’ve done well” edition, L. Schreiber

prongswhatthefuck2  asked:

What are some good tips for getting started with writing a book? I have a concept but i can't put it into place.

Getting Started with Your Story

There’s no one way to start writing a book. For some people, it’s enough to just jump in and start writing to see where the story takes them. If you’re not too keen on that idea, then here is one process (as in, not the only process) that might help you move beyond your concept. 

  • Concept ≠ Plot

Many writers mistake concept for plot, but they’re actually two very different things. A world where everyone grows up with superpowers is a concept; the plot is what you decide to write about within that concept - the specific characters and what happens to those characters; who your antagonist is and what conflict arises when that antagonist goes after what they want. All of these things contribute to your plot. 

So first, define what it is you actually have at this particular point. Do you just have a concept? If so, you’ll need to take the necessary steps to develop that concept into a plot. 

  • Concept >>> Plot

If you’ve decided that all you really have is a concept, then how do you take it and turn it into a plot? You brainstorm. All brainstorming really amounts to is expanding your ideas. All you’re doing is asking questions about the concept and delving deep into the answers. 

The most simplistic way to start this process, especially if you’re struggling, is to ask one of two questions (or both, if applicable). These two questions: What could go wrong? What could go right?

Going back to my example about a world where everyone grows up with superpowers. If I were to ask the question “what could go wrong,” I’d end up with a whole list of possibilities. 

  • The powers suddenly disappear
  • People start abusing their powers
  • Someone figures out how to steal powers
  • A hierarchy of strong vs. weak powers develops, creating superiority/inferiority dynamics
  • Someone is born without a superpower

There are many more possibilities I didn’t even think of here, but any one (or more) of these could become a plot. Choose one that sounds interesting, and then ask yourself “and then what?” 

Say I choose: Someone figures out how to steal powers. Then what does that person do? Do they recruit people to do the dirty work for them? Do they work alone? Do they hoard these powers and barter them for other goods? Do they attempt to enslave people? Do they attempt to take control of institutions? What do they do?

Your goal is to take your ideas and turn them into actions taken by characters. People doing things. And each piece you add will usually lead into another. If you went with the idea that this character is stealing powers and essentially selling them for other goods, you’d have to ask yourself follow-up questions. First, who are they selling to? Why would anyone buy a new superpower if they already have one? What uses would they have for additional ones? What is the key demographic that this person is trying to reach? Secondly, what are they selling them in exchange for? Money? Favors? Souls? What is this character getting in return?

Now that you’ve examined potential actions that the character takes, you’ve also exposed potential new characters. 

  • People they’re stealing from
  • People they’re bargaining with
  • People that try to police these crimes
  • People that try to copy this character’s process

At the beginning of this section, I talked about using “what could go right” as another optional jumping off point. This is a good path to follow if your concept is already really negative. For a concept where someone is killing people for some pointed reason, you might ask “what could go right” and explore ideas where the killer is caught and brought to justice. 

The point of all this is to think about change as a means of taking your idea from concept to plot. A concept is static - it doesn’t move, evolve, or change. By developing a plot, you’re forcing the concept to be challenged in some way. If you think about it that way, you’ll be able to formulate conflicts, and the people that orchestrate and fight against those conflicts. 

On that note, I think we’re ready to move onto the third piece of my graphic above. 

  • Plot = Character Actions and Consequences

At this point, you have sketches for characters. You’ve got this nameless, faceless person that is stealing the powers, and all these other nameless, faceless people that I listed above. In essence, we have character concepts. And just like we turned our initial concept into a plot, we have to turn these character concepts into actual characters. 

The basics are the easiest way to start. You figure out their name, their gender identity, their age, their appearance, some brief backstory and personality traits. I personally prefer the simplest questionnaire that I put together back in the early days because it hits on the poignant pieces of a character without overwhelming you with 100s of questions. 

Now that you’ve given your character concepts names and faces and potential behaviors, you start to consider how one character’s view of the world inspires them to take certain actions, and you then think about how those actions affect your entire story. 

We already kind of talked about the motives of the power thief in our example, but definitely delve deep here. On the surface, this character seems bad - stealing from people and then selling what they steal. But depending on what it is they’re getting in return, could we not argue that this character is a supernatural Robin Hood? Maybe instead of selling, they’re giving, and maybe the characters they’re stealing powers from are people that abuse and misuse their powers. Character motives can take a plot and turn it on its head, forcing you to reconceptualize everything. And that’s okay! That’s part of the process.

But separate from that idea, if we have a character concept of someone whose powers were stolen, and after developing their basic backstory, we discover that person’s name is Rose, and she has an especially close relationship with her brother. So when her powers are stolen, how does this affect her life? Was she using her powers to keep her brother alive and protected? What she using them to keep a roof over their heads? Was she using them as part of her job, as a means of providing? What happens to her life when her powers are stolen? And what will Rose do about it? Whatever Rose does will impact the story. If she does nothing to get her powers back, how does she solve her problems and does that make for a good story? If she does decide to act, then you’ve moved onto a new plot point to dive deeper into.

My point is, character concepts come from plots, but characters themselves often create plot, as their decisions and mistakes and successes create new outcomes. So if I could modify my original flow chart:

Before you develop something, you conceptualize it. You have a concept, then you make it a plot. You have concepts for characters, then you make them characters. And those characters end up driving your plot, to the point that this happens:

Plot inspires character. Character inspires plot. And it just keeps going around and around and around. Breaking it down into these pieces helps organize the process, but developing a story is rarely this neat and tidy. You’ll get ideas that don’t make sense, ideas that aren’t cohesive, characters you don’t need, characters that piss you off, problems you can’t solve, or plot points you’ve committed to that you no longer like…it will be messy. But it’s your mess, and the more you work on developing your own process, the more it’ll make sense to you. And it’ll become easier to know how to go about fixing it when something’s not right. 

Have fun with this process! It’s supposed to be fun. When the pieces start to become clearer, you’re able to put them together in a rough outline. And once you have a rough outline, you can start writing, and really see it take shape. 

-Rebekah

anonymous asked:

so, um. if you have any particular feelings about labyrinth--specifically Sarah--uh, go wild.

WILD PEACHES  [AO3]

.

The morning after Sarah Williams defeats the Goblin King, she gets up and makes toast. She has to brush some glitter off the toaster—it withers and vanishes at the brush of her fingertips, and she stares at her hand for a long time. 

It mostly just looks like her hand. Even when she turns it over, and sees where she scraped her knuckles against the oubliette, where the shattered mirror cut the back of her wrist. It looks like she fell, or was playing in the street. That’s all.

The toast comes out burned, and Sarah stares at that too. Eventually, she slumps down against the cabinets and cries, wracking sobs that send her dad and Karen rushing into kitchen. They check her forehead for a fever, put their hands on her, and keep asking, “Are you okay? Sarah, please, tell us what’s wrong…”

Eventually, her dad drags her into his lap and cradles her against his chest, like he did when she was little. Her legs are too long to really fit anymore, but Sarah hugs him around the neck anyway. “It’ll be okay,” he says, keeps saying. “You’ll be okay.” And Sarah—doesn’t laugh, because she can’t, and doesn’t have the words to express what—how—

(None of her stories ever talked about this. What did Sir George do, the morning after he slayed the last dragon in England? Did Tam Lin eat breakfast, or did he sit there, shivering, wondering if his hands were different, having been claws and wings and scales?)

Afterwards, she leaves the burnt toast outside on the back porch. Not an offering. Maybe a reminder.

.

It’s Didymus she sees the most often, mostly because he’s the one who invites himself rather than waiting for an invitation. He comes for tea, but even if there’s no tea—which there isn’t, usually—he comes to tell Sarah stories. She learns to love poetry because there’s no escaping it with him. (She won’t read Idylls of the King until Brit Lit in college, but she ends up scrawling a lot in the margins; Didymus’ telling of events had been much more interesting.)

Once, she falls asleep like that, her hands tucked behind her head with Didymus curled up and sleepily reciting from the crook of her elbow. “So tender was her voice, so fair her face—though I don’t think he was looking at her face, my lady, pardon me for saying so—”

Sarah buries her nose in his fur. Didymus always smells of rosewater, and a crispness she thinks is just…the Labyrinth. She falls asleep trying to place it.

She wakes up with a wild fox in her bed, animal-black eyes frightened and flat, teeth bared. The fox is whining, and she’s tempted to throw herself across the room, to get away from this wild thing and its teeth. It takes a monumental will to keep herself still and her breathing slow, even; like she’s still asleep and unafraid. 

It takes her longer to swallow, and start humming one of the songs he taught her—a knight’s round, he’d said. She’s shaky at first, but the fox’s ears flick forward. It cocks its head, and slowly, the teeth disappear behind its lips. 

She almost laughs when noses at her throat curiously, butting its head against her jaw like a cat might.

Keep reading

{PART 27} I Won’t Stop You // Jeon Jungkook, Vampire!AU

Originally posted by jengkook

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Vampire!AU, Fantasy, Angst, Smut

Summary; As death enters the room to claim a soul; so does life. Who shall live and who shall die - as you begin to wonder…is this really the end?

“And as he looked upon her face amidst the madness, he saw everything he held close depart his world; while she slipped into the next”

|| Warning: This chapter contains mentions of blood and some scenes that readers may find upsetting ||

I update this series every Tuesday evening, 9pm-10pm (UK Time)

{Part 1} // {Part 26} {Part 27} {Part 28}

Keep reading

Everything Has Changed (Part Two)

Summary: In which everything changes when you discover Bucky’s true feelings for you in a very unconventional manner.

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 2,800

Part One

Originally posted by there-and-always-back-again

The sound of something steadily beeping in your ear brings you back to the surface of consciousness. You wade through the murky waters of your mind, trying to keep your cool when the simple task of opening your eyes turns into a losing battle.

Why can’t you open your eyes? Why does your body feel so heavy?

You grow more frantic as your body fails to follow through on any of the commands you direct at it. It’s not until you realize that something is restraining your arms that an overwhelming tidal wave of memories wash over your body and send you back underwater.

Keep reading

cinderdrilla  asked:

hit me up w/ some voltron goodness 8)

Lance puts his foot down, and Shiro/Slav have a long overdue talk.

Shiro never figured Lance for the snapping type. They all had their moments, under the constant stress of intergalactic rebellion, but Lance kept a reasonably calm lid on it – his self-titled “rivalry” with Keith aside. Looking at him now, there is only surprise at the way he’s holding himself, the set of his expression: Lance looks both nervous and pissed off.

‘Keith – could you give us a minute?’ he says, in a deliberately calm voice. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Keith hesitate, as if reading the tenseness of the situation and worrying that it might get out of hand. ‘Now, Keith. Go check on Slav’s sector.’

Reluctantly, and with a suspicious look at them both, Keith exits. Lance looks even more nervous when he does. More so when silence settles on them, and he raises a brow at Lance. Well? says the look, say what you have to.

‘I just… you’re way too hard on him,’ Lance repeats, a far cry from the irritated way he’d snapped Can’t you just cut Slav some slack? ‘He’s trying to help, Shiro. I-it’s not… he doesn’t mean to annoy you. It’s just how he… is.’

‘Excuse me?’ His previous calm turns to surprise. He keeps his voice low, not meaning to menace – but Lance scowls a little deeper, mistaking it for nonchalance.
Don’t, Shiro. You sound just like Iverson when you do that, a-and he was an ass,’ Lance says, voice rising only in pitch. Angry and nervous, like a cornered cat. Shiro takes a small step back to give him breathing room, but Lance stays tense. ‘Slav only wants to help. You treating him like a nuisance isn’t – it’s not fair, okay. He can’t help being jumpy; he was a prisoner for ages –’

It takes a second or two for that to sink in. When Shiro goes quiet, when his stare goes vacant as he processes this, Lance steps forward, speech picking up momentum as he grew more defensive.

‘– and it’s not easy to adapt out here,’ there’s a note of hurt in his voice, and it hits Shiro more than the chastising. ‘Slav got taken from his people and thrown into a war just like we did. He’s handling it different. YOU handled it different, we all did. I thought you’d understand him because of it, since you both got tortured by the Galra.’

That’s almost an accusation, and now Shiro fully understands what has Lance so fired up, so recalcitrant. And that understanding brings with it a sense of guilt, especially with the way Lance had said I THOUGHT you’d understand.

Keep reading

Heartbeat | 2

“You’ve always stayed far away from the Kingsnakes, the coldblooded gang that runs the dark heart of your city. That is until your life collides with the intriguing and dangerous Jung Hoseok.”

pairing: hoseok x reader
word count: 13.5k
genre: gang!au, smut

part one | two | three | four

warnings: dom!Hoseok, demeaning names, oral, public sex



You knee bounced up and down nervously. An hour had passed and still no reply from Hoseok. You bit back a sigh, regretting sending that ‘What are you doing tonight?’ message to him. You felt like an idiot, worse yet, a desperate idiot.

You cringed, remembering the hope that had sprung in your chest as you boldly fired off that text to Hoseok. You had honestly expected him to reply back straight away, conveying some kind of interest, wanting you as badly as you wanted him. Instead, you had nothing but stifling silence.

“Are you liking the film?” Taehyung leaned over and whispered, his eyes were full of concern and you gave him a weak smile in return. “It’s just a little bit scary,” You lied. He nodded and offered you a warm smile. “I’ll protect you,” He said reassuringly. Your phone vibrated in your pocket and you felt your heart leap in your chest. “Thanks Tae,” You responded faintly, staring straight at the TV until Taehyung glanced away from you, focusing on the movie again. 

Struggling to stay calm, you glanced down surreptitiously at your phone, feeling your heart race in your chest. There was a message notification, from a string of numbers- someone who wasn’t in your contacts. 

It was him. Hoseok.

Keep reading

It didn’t happen often, but even once would probably be more than Aaron would be willing to admit. The first time it happened was shortly after their game against the Ravens that ended in Riko’s death.

Thanks to Katelyn, Neil knew about Aaron’s occasional nightmares, which was why he was only mildly surprised when one night the door to their bedroom opened and the second Minyard brother stood in their doorway. A quick glance to the digital clock on Kevin’s nightstand told Neil it was half past two in the morning.

He watched from his bed as Aaron quietly, probably hoping not to wake anyone, made his way over to Andrew’s bed.

As he stepped into the little bit of moonlight that found its way through their blinds, the pale light illuminated his tired features and Neil was pretty sure Aaron had gotten little to no sleep yet. He almost felt sorry for him.

“Andrew,” he heard Aaron whisper, a safe distance between him and his twin, “Andrew, wake up.”

Rustling sheets and a sudden, dull thud told Neil Andrew had woken up - as violently as always - in the bed beneath his.

“What.” It didn’t even sound like a question, just a very tired and annoyed remark.

“I-…” Aaron cleared his throat and looked at the ground beneath his naked feet. He looked uncomfortable. Embarrassed. Scared.

“…..can I stay?”

There was a long silence, and Neil began to think Andrew would do his usual spiel of staring someone down until they got the message and left him alone.

He didn’t know what it was that made Andrew decide against this. Whether it was some sort of brotherly affection Andrew had towards Aaron, but didn’t quite know what to do with yet. Or maybe it was his excessive sense of duty towards those he called family. Whatever it was, it made Andrew scoot over in his bed. An almost unnoticeable sigh of relief left Aaron, and he climbed into his brother’s bed.

Keep reading

Hey guys! I made another quotes list for the philosophers, since I left some out and there were quotes that deserved their own post. Once again, I hope you like these quotes and think they are inspirational!

Thales

  • “The most difficult thing in life is to know yourself.”
  • “Intellect is the swiftest of things, for it runs through everything.”
  • “Hope is the only good that is common to all men; those who have nothing else possess hope still.”
  • “Nothing is more active than thought, for it travels over the universe, and nothing is stronger than necessity for all must submit to it.”

Jean de la Bruyere

  • “Out of difficulties grow miracles.”

Francis Bacon

  • “In order for the light to shine so brightly, the darkness must be present.”
  • “Knowledge is power.”
  • “The best part of beauty is that which no picture can express.”
  • “Write down the thoughts of the moment. Those that come unsought for are commonly the most valuable.”
  • “The way of fortune is like the milkyway in the sky; which is a number of small stars, not seen asunder, but giving light together: so it is a number of little and scarce discerned virtues, or rather faculties and customs, that make men fortunate.”

Michel de Montaigne

  • “Lend yourself to others, but give yourself to yourself.”
  • “A wise man never loses anything, if he has himself.”

Bertrand Russell

  • “Anything you’re good at contributes to happiness.”
  • “To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom.”
  • “The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.”
  • “The world is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.”
  • “To be without some of the things you want is an indispensable part of happiness.”
  • “The good life is one inspired by love and guided by knowledge.”

Alan Watts

  • “You are that vast thing that you see far, far off with great telescopes.”
  • “Trying to define yourself is like trying to bite your own teeth.”
  • “The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.”
  • “I have realized that the past and future are real illusions, that they exist in the present, which is what there is and all there is.”
  • “You don’t look out there for God, something in the sky, you look in you.”
  • “Never pretend to a love which you do not actually feel, for love is not ours to command.”
  • “To have faith is to trust yourself to the water. When you swim you don’t grab hold of the water, because if you do you will sink and drown. Instead you relax, and float.”
  • “No work or love will flourish out of guilt, fear, or hollowness of heart, just as no valid plans for the future can be made by those who have no capacity for living now.”

George Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel

  • “Nothing great in the world has ever been accomplished without passion.”

Jean-Paul Sartre

  • “It is only in our decisions that we are important.”
  • “Life begins on the other side of despair.”
  • “The best work is not what is most difficult for you; it is what you do best.”
  • “Being is. Being is in-itself. Being is what it is.”
  • “We must act out passion before we can feel it.”
  • “Everything has been figured out, except how to live.”
  • “If you are lonely when you’re alone, you are in bad company.”
  • “There is only one day left, always starting over: it is given to us at dawn and taken away from us at dusk.”
  • “Freedom is what you do with what’s been done to you.”

Diogenes

  • “He has the most who is most content with the least.”

Philo

  • “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”

Blaise Pascal

  • “Vanity is but the surface.”
  • “Man’s greatness lies in his power of thought.”
  • “The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing.”

Bernard Williams

  • “Talent is a flame. Genius is a fire.”
  • “There was never a night or a problem that could defeat sunrise or hope.”
  • “Man never made any material as resilient as the human spirit.”
  • “We may pass violets looking for roses. We may pass contentment looking for victory.”
  • “Life is supposed to be a series of peaks and valleys. The secret is to keep the valleys from becoming Grand Canyons.”
‘Doubling Down’ Rant.

I feel like one of the most prominent aspects of this episode was the portrayal of the characters’ psychology, the writing and the dialogue did a great job depicting how people get into toxic relationships in the first place, and why it is difficult for them to get away once they’re in.

Kyle for instance, is portrayed as a caring and moral-ridden individual, that although rational, lets his emotions and sense of justice get involved in his course of action. He desired to intervene because he considered it to be the right thing to do, never once questioning his personal interest for Heidi until the girls pointed it out. While all the other kids aknowledge Cartman’s demeanor towards Heidi, none of them are willing to get themselves involved in it, whereas Kyle has always been the one to confront Cartman’s wrong doings and pursuit him, positioning himself as ‘good’ and Cartman as ‘evil’, dynamic that has ultimately served to feed both Cartman’s enthusiasm to torture him, and Kyle’s sense of selfrighteousness and tendency to see himself as a martyr, trait that he shares with Cartman, but as he stated, 'We all wrongly see ourselves as the victim sometimes, but Cartman sees himself as the victim ALL the time’, the main difference being that Kyle is able to aknowledge his mistakes and learn from them, unlike Cartman.

To get some insight into Kyle’s remark: 'In a way, I feel like we’re all going out with Cartman right now’ reflecting on how all of them are, at some degree, and specially Kyle, always been involved in a toxic relationship with Cartman’s mind games. Kyle has been, for a long time now, Cartman’s main sympathizer, he can’t help but look out for his personal improvement, and often attempted to get him to do the right thing and gain counsciousness on his own warped mentality, desire that Cartman would not hesitate to take advantage of, tricking Kyle into commiting to a cause if he could profit from his support.

In this episode, Kyle appears to have come to the conclussion that Cartman is beyond help, and that neither he nor Heidi can do anything to change that, for the best thing they can do for him is not to feed his sociopathic needs, furthermore demonstrated by their encounter on the hallway, with Kyle continuously trying to reason with him and assure him it was all for his own good, Cartman making deaf ears to his claims, finally leaving Kyle no choice but to knock him out in self defense, who apologizes regretful.

Cartman, on the other side, is miserable with Heidi, but also without her. As I stated on my last post concerning their relationship:

'He can’t bring himself to end the relationship and thus giving Heidi freedom of choice, she’s a property and so Cartman can’t stand the idea of his belongings moving on to other people. Cartman thinks of Heidi as a tool that exists with the only purpose of being at his disposition to offer him constant attention and validation, nothing more, nothing less.

Simultaneously, Cartman can’t stand Heidi, because she doesn’t fit the description of Cartman’s ideal image of her. Naturally, Heidi isn’t the tool Cartman expects her to be, she is an human being with her own individual needs. Whereas Cartman looks for a relationship where he is the center of attention, never giving anything in return, and a partner willing to follow him blindly against all the odds, without him having to worry about losing their support; Heidi looks for a functional, healthy romantic relationship, were all the parties involved contribute their part. Cartman is unwilling to fulfill this role, because doing so would position him as an equal of Heidi’s, which means, to him, degrade him from his high-entity status.’

Nearing the end we realize Cartman has found a way of manipulating Heidi into believing she’s in the relationship she craved for, and thus avoiding any sign of resistance from her. He has learned that if he wants to manipulate Heidi successfully, he needs to put a little effort on the relationship every now and then, offering her reassurance. This way, Cartman can act selfishly while at the same time 'rewarding’ Heidi for her subservience, throwing away any doubt she might had in him. He fools her into believing his wrongdoings are common human flaws that need to exist in order to keep improving himself.

Heidi is portrayed as someone who desires to aid the needy, she cannot bring herself to refuse someone’s cries for help, which is, besides the ironic effects of peer pressure, the main reason she continues to be stuck with Cartman and allows herself to be manipulated by him. He sees in Cartman someone who takes bad decisions, but is fundamentally kindhearted. Someone who is in need for her guidance. Even when ditching Kyle after being indoctrinated by Cartman, her kind nature is a definitive trait of her character. Cartman was persuasive enough to convince her of his beliefs, he made sure until the last moment that his ideas appeared to be reasonably fundamented. He told her what she wanted to hear when she was feeling the most guilty, deflecting the blame for the failure of their relationship unto Kyle instead, but reassuring her image of Kyle by telling her he hadn’t been counscious of his actions. He convinced her of attributing her own supposed flaws ('being moody’) to her ethnic background, and this way implying she has no control over ever improving herself, comforting her but making her feel helpess over her situation at the same time, this serves to Cartman as a mechanism to increase her emotional dependence to him, by making her feel he’s the only one who will ever love her despite her imperfections.

Regarding Cartman’s idea of Kyle, I feel like Cartman projects all of his own corruption unto Kyle. He subcounsciously thinks of Kyle as his equal, although he cannot recognize the corruption from within. Kyle’s intentions are never pure in Cartman’s mind, he must always be plotting something against him the same way he himself does to him. To him, Kyle’s purpose in life is to get in Cartman’s way. As the series progressed, we’ve seen Cartman gradually watering down his hostility towards Kyle in latter seasons the more time they spent together, and instead replacing it with an odd sense of familiarity and trust, until this point, Cartman’s friendly demeanor towards Kyle that even manifested itself at one point earlier in the episode, takes a sudden turn the moment Cartman finds out he might have been responsible for his breakup with Heidi. Following this event, we see Cartman’s hatred towards Kyle reach its peak when he goes batshit after his trippy jewish dream sequence, spewing all his resentments against Kyle in spite of the latter’s attempts to excuse himself, Cartman feeling betrayed after letting himself 'fall into Kyle’s claws’ by allowing him the benefit of the doubt previously.

Having stated all this, I think Cartman has taken care of the problems he had with Heidi, and now that the challenge is over, the last scene leads me to believe he has shifted his interest from the pleasure he obtains from having domain over her, to the impact his behaviour towards her has on Kyle instead. He’s using his influence on the people around Kyle to make them into proxys as a mean to inflict pain onto him. Heidi is no longer the tool, his entire relationship with her is now a tool on itself.


It was also interesting to see the conection between B plot and A plot relying on the parallel of the toxic relationship between Cartman, Kyle and Heidi, and that of politicians with their supporters, instead of having each storyline intersecting with the other, though I don’t have a strong stand on the matter, since I’m for the most part ignorant concerning the USA political status.

The weakest point of the episode in my opinion was the introduction of elements that seemingly served no purpose in the narrative, and ultimately aimed for a specific purpose in order to lead the plot in a certain direction. For example, Cartman’s dialogue when making fun of Heidi for gaining weight after tricking her into introducing meat into her vegan diet, indicated he had a goal in mind by doing this, though we never get any insight on what this particular goal may be other than to reassure his dominance over her. Besides this being a dangerous move for Cartman to make just after getting Heidi’s trust back, it seemed like it didn’t serve any purpose other than to incite Kyle into intervening in the relationship. Another example would be Cartman visiting Token’s house, there wasn’t really a point for Cartman to do this besides giving him the chance to make racial remarks some more. Finding out about Kyle being responsible for his breakup with Heidi through Token’s dad seemed too coincidental, though I don’t really mind, even less after being presented with Cartman’s fantastic Kyle delirium sequence.

I really enjoyed the execution of the humor, there were some great jokes, the animation team did an amazing job and overall I think this was a fantastic episode with a rather dark thematic.

A Scarecrow For God

by reddit user survivalprocedure

“Can I take your picture?” Larissa sat a few feet away from me on the grey velvet sofa as I aimed my iPhone towards her. I stared at the screen intently for a moment before shifting my focus, looking over the brim of the phone at her defeated, hopeless state portrayed by bloodshot eyes.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Inquisition companions react to Solas taking the unconscious inquisitor with him when he leaves at the end of trespasser. Romances too please! (Solas can be excluded if it's easier.) The companions could arrive just in time to see. ;)

Exclude Solas?? Well, now you’ve just issued a challenge. I accept!

Solas: High Approval: His friend is lying there, hurt because of him. His friend, who has stood by him through it all and wants the best for the world. He can’t just leave it like this. The Inquisitor would be a very valuable ally, after all. He doesn’t want them as his enemy. Low Approval: He sneers at the Inquisitor’s prone form before him, everything he hates about the world he created embodied in this one person. This one incredibly valuable person. True, they don’t get along, not even remotely, yet to have the Inquisitor with him, even as a prisoner, would be invaluable to him. And if the Inquisitor could be turned to his side? Thedas would never see them coming. If Romanced: His vhenan is lying there, vulnerable, hurt, maybe even broken. It was not supposed to happen this way. And he can’t just leave them there, even though he knows he should. In his arms, they feel smaller, more delicate, than they really are, and he can’t help but kiss their face. “Ar lath ma,” he whispers as he steps through the glass. It isn’t over yet.

Cullen: The Inquisitor, unconscious in Solas’s arms, is disappearing through the eluvian. And he isn’t quick enough to stop it! He paces in front of the mirror for hours, calling out to the pair, trying to understand. Why would Solas take them? If Romanced: No! His spouse, married for only days, is disappearing through the eluvian in Solas’s arms. He can’t let it happen! Yet it’s too late. He beats his fists bloody on the glass, careful not to break it, and yells for Solas to come back with the one he loves.

Josephine: She was placating the Exalted Council so she didn’t see, but the reports from the others are disturbing, to say the least. The Inquisitor is gone? What do they do now? She tries to put aside the personal loss and deal with the political nightmare that will result. How can she spin this to the council? They will damn the Inquisition for it! If Romanced: She sobs. Gone? Why would the Inquisitor be gone? She doesn’t understand, it doesn’t make sense! They wouldn’t leave her like this! Would they? Dealing with the political crisis is much harder for her and she can’t just set aside her own feelings this time.

Leliana: Her arrow struck the glass only moments after it closed behind them, her scream of frustration following Solas to wherever he’s disappeared to. Why take the Inquisitor? They’re still needed! There’s so much to do!

Blackwall: He yells, running, and nearly shatters the mirror as he tries to follow. The Inquisitor is still needed! If Romanced: He stands in front of the mirror, his forehead pressed to the glass. He needs to get through, but it’s closed. He knows this, but still he doesn’t move, only presses harder against it. The Inquisitor must come back.

Cassandra: She’s furious. She rages at the empty mirror, and it takes all her strength not to simply shatter it. The Inquisitor is still needed! The Inquisition still needs its leader. The Exalted Council is still unfinished! If Romanced: She’s sobbing as she weakly beats on the glass, begging for her lover back. She only just started to live that dream.

Iron Bull: He doesn’t know what to do. He’s surrounded by statues that used to be his people and the Inquisitor just disappeared through the eluvian. He just stands there, completely uncertain for perhaps the first time. If Romanced: Once the initial shock fades, he starts frantically searching for another way through. There has to be another way! There’s always another way. He won’t let his kadan go that easily!

Dorian: No! His spell slides uselessly off the glass, all the knowledge Tevinter stole from the elves useless as he tries to open the way. The Inquisitor is gone, and he mourns. If Romanced: For hours he stands in front of the eluvian, searching every pieces of knowledge he has to find a way through. Tevinter must have taken something from the elves that can help! “Amatus, don’t go…”

Vivienne: Like Dorian’s, her spells are useless. Her power is useless. The Inquisitor is gone, and Thedas might just fall for it. The Exalted Council will never be appeased now. They are doomed.

Sera: Her arrow shatters against the glass, but another one follows it anyway. She keeps it up until there are no more arrows in her quiver. Then she simply stands there, shaking, bow in hand. What now? If Romanced: The end of her arrows means it’s time to pull out the knives. Her throwing knives are exactly as useless as the arrows, but she has to do something! Inky is gone! Honeytongue got taken through that friggin’ mirror! She can’t let it go!

Varric: “Shit, shit, shit,” he chants to himself, pacing in front of the mirror. He knows which way the wind is blowing now, and they are all completely screwed. Without the Inquisitor, the Inquisition is doomed. And probably Thedas, too. And he’s lost another friend. Are they even okay? Alive? Should he mourn? Or search? He doesn’t know.

Cole: “Haunting, hiding, old magic in a mirror. They won’t be followed. We can’t help.” He knows there’s nothing he can do for the Inquisitor and Solas, so he turns his attention to the others. There’s so little he can do to help, though.

What Went Wrong?

I had an immense amount of hope for season 4 of Skam. And even though from the beginning, I didn’t like some stuff or was suspicious of some plotlines, I decided to trust the people who had previously made three amazing seasons of Skam to make sense of everything and to give us a beautiful and meaningful season for Sana as well.

Now that Sana’s season is basically over, however, I am more resigned to bitterness and accepting the fact that they simply couldn’t deliver. I don’t blame Julie. Not really. I did for a while, but now I just…feel nothing. The rage has worn off and what’s left is this deep sadness that comes from knowing something good has gone bad.

I’m being dramatic though! At the end of the day, it’s just a show and it doesn’t really matter. But for a second there, I thought I was watching something monumental occur; like when I watched season 3. To get a show from the perspective of a poc muslim girl in a European country seemed both risqué and innovative. But the problem with such a never-seen-before/never-explored-before concept is that, you won’t know just how wrong it can go.

For example, they could easily figure out what not to do in season three, by simply watching all the wrong moves other shows had made through the years. While Sana’s season needed delicate and thorough research to first: capture the essence of the culture and background she came from and then secondly: to use it in the fabric of the show in a natural and organic way. They also needed to have space to deal with the daily problems of muslim girls in modern Norway’s society and on top of that all, they had to make no mistakes and create interesting drama through it all.

Looking at it like that, I feel bad for Julie and the pressure she must have been under. I think considering how bad things could have gone…. they went moderately bad. And yet, ironically we can claim it’s the best of its kind because no one else has done anything remotely close to it before, either.

However, I’m not resigned to just accept this as an excuse and forget just how badly things went. Because this looks like a terrible accident to me, and no matter what I do, I find myself thinking things like “if only this part had been different”, “if only they hadn’t done that.”, if, if, if. So I’m gonna rewatch all nine episodes of Sana’s season and attempt to write a piece explaining just what I thought went wrong.

1.The pacing: Perhaps one of the most obvious things that went wrong with this season and that everyone noticed, was the pacing. This piece will be full of bitter nostalgia so let the first one be a callback to the amazing trailer. I will never forget the day we got season four’s trailer after four months of waiting. Everything about it seemed just perfect. Every detail seemed like a symbol, a throwback, a small wink to the viewer: “look! We put that there for you to find!”. And the ultimate message seemed to be that “it’s about to go down” and it will go down in a very complex way, too! A chain reaction! Millions of meta pieces were written. A thousand different takes on the chain of reaction and what each dilemma could be was written. So when the season started, we were all waiting for something to happen. We waited….and waited… and waited… and waited…. We waited for weeks! But what happened was that a tension, thick as butter, just kept on building for five weeks. And then BOOM! All hell broke loose! And yet…and yet nothing had happened yet. We actually had to wait two more weeks for something to really happen and suddenly by the eighth week, everything was resolved again! In short, the plot was one giant anticlimax! The conflict that kept on building to seem like an unavoidable fall out, a tsunami of dramatic interactions, ended up being resolved off screen. The real problem seemed to be the pacing. If the show had built the conflict in three episodes, presented us with the supposed dilemma in episode 3, tried to fix that in episode 4 and had the deeper, real conflict happen in episode 5, then had the after math in episode 6, and started to fix it in episode 7, have the characters figure it out in episode 8 and the resolve it in episode nine, then it would have made sense! Writing it down like that, it almost feels like that’s what happened! But clearly something prevented the cycle from feeling like a natural arc. Which brings us to the second problem:

2.Crowded narrative: So what was Sana’s season about? The imbalance of her Muslim/Norwegian identity? Being a muslim in an atheist country? Falling for a non-muslim boy? Falling out of touch with friends? Jealousy? Anger issues? Making up with family? Getting a Russ buss? What was this season about?

Ignoring the subplots (because there was so many of those I shiver just thinking about them!), there was three main plots for Sana in this season:

1.Finding a balance between her Norwegian identity and the people in that part of her life with the muslim/Moroccan side of her identity and the people in that part of her life.

2.the problem of being a muslim girl falling for a non-muslim boy and trying to keep true to her faith while still trying to not the love go to waste.

3.Finally making the last move in her friendship with girl squad and really being honest with them about her feelings and problems.  

However soon these problems morphed into different things entirely:

1.Getting a bus and proving to everyone that she can be a part of this Norwegian tradition like any other Norwegian girl.

2. Trying to let go of the boy who was both unsuitable for her and who her best friend had feelings for.

3.Dealing with the collision of her Moroccan and Norwegian on terms that were not her own.

Each of these plots kept on getting more complicated and more tangled to a point that they were not exactly resolvable. They were instead just forced into a state of equilibrium. Which was anti climactic to say the least!

*sigh* now let’s face the subplots! There were so many subplots! And at one point, it felt like these plots will wrap up in that infamous trailer “chain reaction”. But with the season already over, it’s become abundantly clear that that was never the case!

The subplots as seen from the very first clip on are:

1. Vilde and Magnus’s relationship (initially taken as a way to introduce lesbian Vilde but ending up being about trust and cheating. Resolved in episode eight’s sixth clip)

2.Noorhelm (the most unnecessary unearthing of a clearly failed relationship that somehow got revived again…*whispers*why?! Resolved in Episode nine’s third clip)

3.Balloon squad (Sana’s brother’s group of friends and the most adorable addition to Skam this season. I’m not sure what their conflict was supposed to be but last time we saw them they were pretty happy and content so I guess resolved in the last hei briskeby video) (actually they were there to destroy stigma surrounding poc/muslim boys and trying to create empathy towards them)

4.Getting a bus (resolved in the fifth clip of episode 8)

5.Hvem er Mikael?!(Still a mystery tbh but generally accepted to be the last guy Even tried to kiss…unsuccessfully I might add. Resolved in the last clip of episode 4?!then again in last clip of episode 5 and again in the last clip of episode 7…)

6.Sana and her mother (not really a conflict point but still she started from hiding things from her to telling her stuff. Resolved in the fourth clip of episode 9)

7.Even’s past (I honestly don’t know why this had to be mentioned but whatever. Resolved in the sixth clip of episode 8)

8.Yousana (resolved with an open ending in the fifth clip of episode nine aka Sana’s last clip)

9.Elias (Sana’s brother has issues! He’s drinking, he’s fighting with his mom, he’s rebelling and maybe even questioning his faith. This wasn’t resolved! This was just mentioned and to this day I’m haunted. What is happening with Elias?)

10.PM girls (The true let down of this season. There was no need to make 50% of the 99 girls evil, but nothing we can do about that. Resolved in the fifth clip of episode 8)

11.Vilde (Vilde was acting super weird all season long! From Islamophobic behavior to spreading stuff about Sana behind her back and such. Vilde deserved better because we never saw her acknowledge her wrong behavior but somehow this was already resolved by the end of the fifth clip of episode 8)

12.The syng fight (supposedly a climax for the other plots and subplots but it’s an even bigger mystery than all the plots combined. I don’t know anything about it! Nothing made sense but apparently already resolved by the sixth clip of episode 8)

13.Jamilla and Sana’s friendship (resolved in the fifth clip of episode 7)

14.Hacking and cyber-bulling (resolved by the fifth clip of episode 8)

15.Sana finishing her prayer (resolved in the last clip of episode 9)

I…I just think there was too much happening! 

All this aside, this season had one giant problem. Like a zit on the nose. Big, red, angry and full of gross pus. And that is the third problem…

3.Noora: To think I started watching the show for Noora! Oh Noora, Noora, Noora! I am so sick of Noora! The woman, the mirror, the foil, the ever-present heroin of Skam! It was so easy for Eva and Isak to fade into the backgrounds of the seasons that were not theirs but for some unfathomable reason, this is just not going to work out for Noora!

While Noora’s mirror presence in season 3 was dignified and reasonable, the ever-changing mirror/foil/symbol/metaphor/object of hate or jealousy-take your pick-  presence that she had this season was stifling! Present in almost all clips or at least the long clips, with a very tangible presence and a very lingering subplot, Noora mirror-foilingly(!) stole the show from Sana. Here’s how she did that.

In the very first clip of season 4, it’s mentioned that Noora is still not over William while he has apparently moved on to dating a new person. This sets the main plot into action, by girl squad trying to find someone for her to move on with. Which leads to a cute tête-à-tête between her and Yousef. But this is quickly side-tracked by Sana wittingly telling Noora to avoid muslim boys.

So basically, Noora and her boy trouble were the spark that started the season. This later affected other plots such as the Vilde+Magnus one, the Even backstory, Yousana and balloon squad.

Soon after this, we get a long clip in which Noora explained-with a painstakingly slow pace- why she really left William in London. An explanation that nobody needed and that just created the opportunity to restart an old storyline despite it being over for months. Long story short, from trying to help Noora move on to Noora kissing Yousef, from Sana being jealous of Noora to hacking and a lot of tears, basically this whole season was a chain of Sana’s reactions to Noora’s actions. The only plot that was there from the very first clip to the second to last one. The only story that evolved and developed, right beneath our noses while we were busy wondering about more important things like: “whether Sana will ever talk to her friends or not?” (she won’t) or “what the syng fight was about?” (nothing important!) or “what really happened in Bakka?” (What’s Bakka?!) or “Is Vilde lesbian?” (no!) or “will Yousana make it?” (eh…). And while we were busying ourselves with these silly small plots around the season, Noora and her epic romantic adventures were developing steadfastly towards a big climax that was delivered in the last clip of episode 8. A clip that was formerly reserved for a very important and dramatic plot twist in the main’s life.

So while all those never-explored-before plots were all just dismissed, the same old story of Noora got to be the main plot of the season. And that’s fine! But when they said we were getting a Sana season, it just led us to believe Sana would be a bigger part of her own main plotline.

I always thought Sana was the ultimate main for Skam, because in the past three seasons, she was the single character that held a real sway over the plot. She delivered important speeches and pushed the plot in a whole new direction with each of these talks. I thought she was ultimately the character we were meant to get to know. But I was wrong. Because Skam was always about Noora.

4.Bad research: While we all know that the authenticity and uniqueness that is provided in Skam’s plots is curtsey of the interviews they did with actual teenagers and the inspirations they took from their real life experiences; it is undeniable that the main reason season three became such a success was because they sought out the counsel of a professional. While we don’t know if they didn’t really do this for this season, it at least feels like they went in blind to write it. We know they spoke with muslim teenagers, but perhaps it would have been better to try to familiarize themselves with Sana’s situation on a sociological and psychological level as well. Maybe have a religion expert on the show? Or a sociologist who had studied the social disorders that second generation immigrants have to deal with? Someone who could guide them into writing a story that was perhaps a bit more respectful to these children’s experiences rather than a dramatic roller coaster of unexplainable events that led to nothing but drama.

5.Scattered storytelling: The most respectful way to put this is to say that (as mentioned before) since there were too many subplots happening in the season, none of these stories got to be told in a linear way. The stories got told in snippets, set too far apart that plots got lost or complicated simply because they had to wait in line for weeks, to take up where they left off last time we heard about them!

Take Yousana for instance, one week we see them talk, then for a whole week we hear nothing then we see Yousef kiss Noora. Then again we get a clip about Sana moving on but two weeks later, she talks about him again and decides to give it a chance.

For another, Sana’s faith. While initially it seemed as though we might see her practice her faith in some way, to actually normalize Islam, that plot was forgotten half way through the season and only got mentioned again in the very last clip.

Consistency was not the strong suit of this season for sure. Perhaps because this was the last season. Maybe they just ran out of a good way to see things through or to connect the things they wanted to connect.

But no matter how you will try to tell yourself that there was a good reason for the things that happened this season, you can’t deny how unfair this season was to Sana.

Before the season started, there were so many people talking about how a Sana-centered season was “needed” at times like these. But political climate and social anomalies aside, this season not only didn’t help any of those noble causes it was supposed to serve, but also pushed its narrator aside in favor of a more sought after story that only had dramatic value.

Aries — 

 Oh, my sweet, sweet child, what has the world done to you? You were a bright promise, the tomorrow we had hoped for, holding flowers in your mouth without crushing them and trusting blindly in those around you. And then came the blood; and now your fire is a quiet thing, a crackling murmur hidden in the shadows. You’ve curled into yourself like a newborn babe, held your heart tightly to your chest and began the tedious healing. And all the salt in your tears made the deep wounds sting; was it this what kept you pure? I wonder, oh, I wonder. Before you, I had never seen an anathema so full of innocence. (The world tried to cast you down from paradise; and it succeeded. But the fall couldn’t maim you, for fire cannot kill fire – it simply shrunk you, much like a mimosa bloom. I hope one day you’ll feel safe enough to flower, for there is so much beauty in you.)

Taurus — 

 I wish I could wrap my hands around your shoulders and hold you close for a while, because oh, what sad things they are, your bones. I am so sorry, beloved; so very sorry. And I am well aware these apologies cannot change anything, but I want you to know that there is someone who sees you as you are – even when all the others see is your superfluous frivolity and your desire for riches, I see the thoughtful mind, the gentle gestures, each and every of your heartbeats. The song of you is imprinted into my memory
as the change in seasons is; you are unforgettable, something so precious and so very dear. (Don’t let them shame you for your greed – those who try to do so cannot wrap their all too little minds around the fact that sin is not necessarily negative. Your love for gold has root in the same place as your love for others; you only want it so you may share it.)

Gemini — 

 It’s lonely, isn’t it? not being the way all others are. They tell you you’re a forgery, that your smile is a mask and your composure an act, simply because they cannot accept the idea that people are supposed to be multidimensional. On and on they go, pinning their ignorance to you under the name of blame, seeing in you only that which they wish to see. Sometimes, you wish you were like them. I know you do. You shouldn’t. It might be lonely where you are, but that doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing; lonely doesn’t mean secluded. There are others like you, with minds like diamonds. Others like you, who are only habitual in their tendency for change. (You will find someone who can make sense out of you, one day, you know. They’ll know you better than you yourself do – every single aspect of you, every single frantic facet and feeling. And when you do, the wait will be more than worth it. I promise you won’t die nor live alone.)

Cancer — 

 You poor, poor, poor thing. It’s been a thousand years since you’ve curled into yourself, hid your heart deep in the cradle of your ribs and let yourself sleep; then the time came for you to awaken, and you found the world unchanged – it was as if everything had stood still. Reality swept into you like saltwater into gaping wounds, and every fiber of your soul wept. fearful, you took the broken glass road still, walked it fully aware of what laid in waiting; like a bride the night she is wed to a stranger, you swallowed your terror and saw it through. Often, those ignorant make you out to be such a bumbling coward. You’re not. You just aren’t. (In fact, you’re one of the bravest people I know; it takes so much courage to let the world see you weep – and it takes even more of it to wipe your tears and keep moving forward. Above all, it takes immense courage to allow yourself to love even when you know it’ll hurt.)

Leo — 

 The size of your heart puts to shame both Jupiter and your own pride and ego; to this day, I am not sure if you would have been better off with one much smaller, but I know for sure the world would have been emptier by far. You see, your touch is one of gold; whomever you decide to invest your time and love into grows the size of Atlas, and so, without you as you are now there would have been much less in the world. That is your downfall, isn’t it? Always has been. The way you’ve always put others first, giving them all of you, never asking for anything to be given to you in return. You are a gardener, dearest, and people are your roses. (It breaks my heart that all your selfless effort was almost always repaid in hurt and sorrow; know that you are not to be blamed for any of it. You have done nothing wrong – sometimes, things simply fall apart. Don’t shut your heart. I’d hate to see your love rot and turn to hatred.)

Virgo — 

 You have endured well the contempt of others, my dear; you have taken every blow with open arms. They have called you frigid and prude and arrogant and everything in between, but you knew better. Tell me then: if you can endure so well the slander of others, if you don’t care what they make of you, why do you worry so? Why do you see only blemishes when you look at yourself in the mirror? Your hesitance to trust others stems in your fear that if you let them in they’ll see your ugliness, all the imagined imperfections you see in your reflection. You can’t trust others because you don’t trust yourself; and I wish so badly that you would have a little more faith in who you are, in your beauty. (Being unable to forgive, jealousy and lust do not make you terrible. Hate is human nature as much as love is; emotions, be they bad or good, are intrinsic to mankind. You are such a passionate being, despite your outward delicacy, and that, my dear, is simply stunning. Please try to love yourself.)

Libra — 

 Darling child, didn’t the gods tell you the mob sees dancers as something of the devil, especially when their preferred stage is the sharp edge of a sword? Few in this world love truth, and fewer still are fond of things like righteousness and justice. Your ability to remain indiscriminate in the face of contradictory realities and deny none of them is both a blessing and a curse. Your mind, I fear, is the Pandora fate has crafted specifically for you; a beautiful gift that hides such doom and sorrow. And you are aware of all of this – how you were meant for greater things, with your noble mind and your true heart, yet on you dance, fighting against the windmills of adversity. How brave you are. (Know that your effort will not go without reward. Know that you won’t be forever unloved, nor will you be forever misunderstood. There will be those whom, like you, have the makings of just men, and they will understand. Keep your eyes open and search the crowd; that is what you do best.)

Scorpio — 

 I look at you and my heart grows small; there is so much sadness in you, from the flower of your eyes to the slouching arch of your shoulders. You have been misjudged and falsely accused for so long: Whore, they said; monster, perverter, sickness of the soul – and all of it because you like sex, as if somehow they are the Virgin Mary reborn, the goddamn hypocrites. This, too, is something they have misunderstood; it is not sex that you crave or are interested in. It is intimacy: it is the vulnerability that comes with having your soul completely bared and lain before another; you crave love, in its’ purest of forms. (And I know they have convinced you that someone of your kind is not “worthy”; fuck that. Your love is priceless, and one day someone will call your battle scars a masterpiece. One day someone will love you as wholly as you deserve to be loved. They will love all of you.)

Sagittarius — 

 There is such wanderlust in you – you’ve made a home out of the long, long roads, walked the earth to its’ ends and bathed in the oceans of the horizon; the sky was your sole companion, its’ stars your map, the wind a spellsong to ward off the passing sadness and melancholia that threatened to dim the flame of your heart. Oh, my child; how very wonderful you are, a barefoot nomad forever in awe of the world. The feeble minded call you rootless; how wrong they are. Having a voyager heart does not make you afraid of commitment. It simply means your roots lie elsewhere, splat across the world. (Do not let their malice plant doubts into your mind’s garden; your gypsy heart is worth more than all their empty ones combined. Keep daring the world, sate your thirst for journeying; only exploration can ever lead to discovery, so let your feet and head both walk the world.)

Capricorn — 

 Good god, you’re so tired. Life has worn you down to the marrow of your bones, took everything from you until you were bare-handed; and yet you’re still here, standing before me, your spine hardened to titanium, a delicate thing that can withstand even the most apocalyptic of sieges; you still find it in you to smile, bitter-bloody-all-teeth and still happy, somehow. Know that I am proud of you; of your bravery, of your resilience, of how you’ve clung to life by the skin of your teeth. I am proud of you. (And know that you deserve happiness – you may feel like you don’t, you may feel that it is above the likes of you, but you deserve it; you have earned it. Know that one of these days, the sun will shine down on your lane, too.)

Aquarius — 

 There’s so much of you inside your skin I am often surprised it has yet to come apart at the seams; there’s so much of everything inside your skull I am left in awe of your bones – often I wonder, how are they strong enough to contain the exploding universe inside? My god, this world of ours has seven wonders and you are all of them. The fortitude of your bright mind ceaselessly surprises me; I know what to expect, and yet I am still thrown off by your ingenuity and your ability to remain rational in your abstract ways. Nobody but you is open enough to accept it all; nobody but you can see through the prism of all eyes and walk away with their sanity intact. (I know they call you “cold”, an ice queen of the Siberian tundra. Let them be. Those who cannot see your white-hot warmth are not worthy of your brilliance. You are the brightest star, my dear, someone accepting and embracing of it all. Do not settle for anyone that is blind to your light.)

Pisces — 

 And how terrible it must be for you, who lives always halfway, to be stuck in a world that demands certainties which you will never have to give. It is not to say you don’t want to be resolute – you simply cannot. Your world does not have truth, nor does it have falsity; all that your world has are colors, swirling, forever mingling anew like the clouds in the sky. One day you are overflowing with everything that blooms inside of you, and lilies are spilling out of your ribs; the next, you’re empty, and you can’t for the life of you find something that is all-encompassing enough to fill the growing abyss south of your sternum. (Kknow that it is okay. The most humane thing you can be is full of contradictions;  as maddening as it can be, each paradox gets you closer to the entity your peers call God. It was never the Devil that built his home on the crossroads, you know. Embrace your nature.)

— Poetry for the Signs: The “You’ve Done Well” Edition, by L. Schreiber.

The Raid

I woke up at 5.30 and couldn’t fall back to sleep, so I fell into Sterek feels instead. Thought I’d try to make some sense of the story it looks like they’re telling (possibly a futile attempt, but…)

I’m on mobile, so no read more, sorry!

1.7k

T rating

*****

It had taken Stiles a while to get comfortable leaving his phone on silent when he was in the middle of something; the idea of being unreachable, or worse, unaware of the current threat had haunted him for months. The reality of being almost 3,000 miles away eventually sunk in and he was able to accept being temporarily out of the loop when he needed to focus. It was equal parts terrifying and freeing, a sort of nauseating relief.

So when he sees a missed call from Chris Argent after his last class before break, his heart drops immediately into his stomach. The voice-mail is maddeningly vague, but before it’s even over Stiles is shoving a few last essentials into his mostly packed duffel bag and impatiently waiting the handful of seconds for Chris to pick up his phone.

Chris has barely gotten a “Stiles” out before Stiles rushes out “What’s going on?”

Thankfully, Chris doesn’t waste time with pleasantries. “There’s a rumor that there’ll be an FBI raid at a location I’ve been looking into for some possible illegal hunting. Can you see what you find out from whatever contacts you’ve made there?”

“Yeah, of course. Give me a couple hours. Do we know when it’s supposed to be happening?”

“Week from last Friday, so what, few days from now,” Stiles feels overwhelmingly sorry for Chris, the man must be pushing himself hard if he’s losing track of the days. “I’m not sure what their interest is, possibly a human trafficking angle,” Stiles’ stomach clenches at that. The idea of it so abhorrent it makes him shiver; the fact that hunters are involved, and therefore some of the people involved are likely to be werewolves adds an extra layer of disgust, a too vivid picture of Erica, Boyd,and Derek at the mercy of unhinged hunters flashes in his head and his whole body tenses. Chris confirms the thought with his next words, “but it’s not like they’ll be prepared for what they’ll find if my intel is right.”

“Right, I’ll get back to you as soon as I have something.”

“Thanks, Stiles,” Chris says sincerely, the exhaustion in his voice obvious, and Stiles has a moment of shameful relief that he’s not responsible for any of whatever is going on. It doesn’t last long. Chris inhales audibly, and Stiles instinctively prepares for a blow. “And Stiles,” he begins and pauses, reluctance and regret clear in his voice and in the short silence, “You should know that there’s a Beacon Hills connection to whatever we’re walking into.” Before Stiles can demand more, Chris adds an apologetic “I don’t know more than that right now, but I’m looking into it.”

Stiles drops onto his crappy dorm mattress, the weight of the information making his legs buckle. Stiles chokes out “I’ll call you back tonight,” and hangs up.

The call to Rafael McCall takes an eternity to connect, so when he finally answers, Stiles doesn’t wait for a greeting. “I need to know everything you know about a possible human trafficking raid happening in a few days that has a connection to Beacon Hills.”

“Hello to you, too, Stiles,” Rafael says in that condescending way he has always addressed others with, and Stiles is reminded that despite the man having put in a good word for him at the FBI, he was a first class asshole.

Stiles grits his teeth and manages a “Please,” letting his panic color his voice and hoping Mr McCall is having a day where he’s capable of basic human compassion.

He gets lucky, because Rafael responds with “I’ll see what I can find out, but no promises.”

“Fair enough, but I need it tonight.”

Rafael sighs, but agrees, and Stiles disconnects the call. Stiles spends the next two hours on the computer, finding everything he can on human trafficking, reaching out to contacts for information on hunters who’ve gone off the rails, and wishing Danny was there to help him find a backdoor into government files.

When Rafe calls back with a time and place, Stiles has a frustratingly small list of notes, but at least he has confirmation to pass along to Chris. Rafael has managed to get himself assigned to the team going on the raid, citing his “personal interest,” and Stiles manages not to scoff at the idea that the man has any real connection to Beacon Hills or its inhabitants. Still, Stiles says a sincere “Thank you,” before he tells Rafael firmly “I’m going with you.”

Rafe sighs out a resigned “I figured you’d say that. You’ll have a seat in my vehicle, otherwise I know you’ll just show up on your own.”

He’s not wrong. “Thank you,” he repeats, this time, he says goodbye befits hanging up to call Chris.

*****

Sitting in the government issue black SUV while FBI agents move with surprising stealth to prepare to storm the building is excruciating. Being told to stay in the car isn’t surprising, but it makes him feel anxious and angry and helpless all the same.

While the agents surround the building, a familiar figure approaches Stiles’ car. Stiles barely restrains himself from hugging Chris,the relief at seeing him, at seeing someone from home, from his life in Beacon Hills, from his pack of misfits, is almost staggering.

He settles for a nod of greeting and gratefully accepts Chris’ hand on his shoulder, letting the weight of it ground him.

“Stiles,” Chris says, clearly unsurprised at seeing him there, but decidedly unhappy about it. “I know you couldn’t, but damn do I wish you’d stayed away from this, kid. I’m sorry for dragging you back into this shitshow.” Stiles can see Allison’s ghost in Chris’s eyes, and it hurts in a way he knows it always will.

“I don’t think I could really stay out. Not forever,” he tries to reassure Chris. “Plus, if I could’ve helped and I didn’t, I’d never forgive myself.” Chris squeezes his shoulder, but his face draws tight.

“We’re moving in as soon as the FBI does, hoping the chaos gives us some cover. I wish they weren’t watching this place, so we could’ve moved in as soon as we found this place,” Chris says as he drops his hand to check his weapon. Before he turns to move into position, he levels Stiles with a sympathetic look. “I don’t want to tell you, but you should know, Derek is in there.”

Stiles freezes, he can’t feel his hands for a moment, but uses his thumb to count off his fingers, hoping with all he has that this is all a bad dream. There are only five fingers, and Stiles feels icy dread rushing through his veins. Chris’s voice pulls him from the edge of panic, “Whatever you do, be careful,” he says, the words heavy between them but a strange comfort nonetheless as Chris pats his shoulder again and walks away with practiced silence.

It takes Stiles less than 30 seconds to make a plan. With determination and likely ill advised bravery, honed over two plus years of fighting monsters–human and supernatural alike–he turns on the radio scanner in the SUV and assesses the unassuming old warehouse for a good entry point.

*****

When he finds Derek, he almost cries when Derek looks up from where he’s sagged against a crumbling wall, a complicated mix of emotions playing across his face. Derek chokes out “Stiles?” and despite the confusion in his voice, hearing his name from Derek’s mouth again is incredible.

Stiles takes in the room as he walks through it, a standard villain’s lair except for the heavy chains bolted to the walls, floor, and disturbingly, the ceiling. And the IVs filled with what Stiles assumes is a wolfsbane solution, considering there’s one in Derek’s arm. Anger and relief swirl around in his brain as he moves to Derek’s side, pulling the IV from his arm with disgusted satisfaction.

He’s restrained, but thankfully only by heavy leather cuffs–laced with more wolfsbane, judging by the reddened skin on Derek’s wrists. Stiles takes Derek’s hands, one at a time, removing the cuffs carefully and tossing them away.

“Hey, Der,” he says, cupping Derek’s face with one hand and resting the other on his shoulder. “Not quite the reunion we were planning, big guy, but we need to get the hell out of here, okay?”

Derek is worryingly quiet, eyes glassy from the drugs in his system, a look of shock and something like awe on his face. “Hey,” Stiles pats Derek’s cheek, not willing to slap him to awareness while he’s been so abused. “Derek, we need to go, are you with me?” His thumb traces Derek’s cheek as he pleads and tries to calculate how far he can carry Derek before he can’t anymore. “Der, c’mon, let’s go, c’mon. Please.”

Derek closes his eyes tightly for a second, and when he opens them again they’re clearer. Stiles fights the urge to sag against him in relief, but it’s a near thing.

“Yeah,” Derek says, voice raw (Stiles willfully ignores the knowledge that that means Derek’s likely been screaming for long hours, over however many days). “Yeah, I’m with you. I’m with you. Let’s go.”

Stiles breathes out heavily and gratefully, standing to help pull Derek off the floor. Derek stumbles, the wolfsbane making his movements unsteady, but Stiles catches him. He drapes Derek’s arm over his shoulder, gripping his forearm firmly and wrapping his free arm around Derek’s middle. They both hold on to each other tightly.

They make it into the hallway just as a team of FBI agents run down it in the opposite direction. Stiles is grateful for the vest Rafael had given him to wear, as not a single agent gives him a second glance.

Derek grips Stiles’ shirt as they struggle down the dim corridor, Stiles pulls him closer in response, taking more of his weight as Derek slips. He’d had to leave Derek once, and it had torn him apart; he wouldn’t be leaving him again.

They just had to get to Rafael’s car, then Stiles could get them both far away from this nightmare. Mr McCall will understand.

A road trip should give Derek time to recover, give them time to reconnect, to decide what to do next. Plus, it sounded like a much better reunion story; they deserved a kinder story.

Originally posted by dyjanobrien

What Soul? - Peter Parker x stark!Reader

Words: 1318
Pairing: Peter Parker x Stark!Reader
Featuring: Tony Stark, Steve Rogers
Warnings: kinda cliche af
Requested by @betty234
Hey! I Saw your requests are open. Could you please write a Tony Stark x reader, or maybe Peter Parker x reader one shot, with the whole soulmate au where they have tattoos that symbolizes each other and he already likes her. Thank you so much”
Summary: In this world, soulmates are strange. The tattoos only appear after you have officialy met your soulmate; meaning some people never get theirs. They can also change what they look like depending on what is going on during the day. When your tattoo gets mistaken for a hickey, you have to explain what’s going on, but only find out it is much deeper then you could have ever imagined.
Authors Note: i havent actually written a soulmate au before, so this was fun! After the april fools joke today, I thought it would be a good idea to post a real imagine xD

Ao3

Peter Masterlist. Masterlist.


“Hey, Steve,” You sing-songed as you walked into the common room where the American flag himself was sitting. “I have a question for you.”

“Shoot, kiddo,” Steve put down the book he was reading and listened to what you had to say.

You showed Steve your computer. “I’m learning about World War Two…”

Steve laughed, “You know my experience was much different than what they might be asking you.”

You shrugged and agreed with him, but hearing his stories of those days were always interesting. “I actually had to help Peter with this topic last month,” Steve nodded, and your face turned to confusion. You didn’t really know many people your age, considering you’ve been homeschooled all your life. It was just easier for your father to keep track of you by having you home all the time, and it became much easier once the Avengers became a thing. “You know, Spider-Boy. Your dad is always helping him out with his powers.”

“Oh, right! The one that’s always super awkward around me,” You nodded, a little laugh following. You scratched your neck, moving everything ever-so-slightly out of place to reveal what was on your neck.

“Hey! What the hell is that?” Steve moved your hair out of the way and turned your neck so he could see what was hiding. “Oh thank goodness, it’s not a hickey. I would have killed you!”

Keep reading

The Cabin By the Lake: Chapter 1

Summary: Cassian has been keeping a secret- for the past 300 years he has been building cabins around a lake to house the Inner Circle and any family they might have. Five years after the end of ACOWAR, the cabins are finished and the Inner Circle descends for two weeks in paradise.

**Contains minor NSFW content, not enough to warrant a tag, nothing explicit, but just a little bit.

Originally posted by pinkfloydvinyl

*****This fic is marking 5,000 followers!! I want to thank each and every one of you for following me, but especially you (yes, YOU!!! Don’t tell the others). This page is less than a year old, and I’ve been absolutely blown away by warmth and kindness of this fandom. I can’t wait to see what the next year brings as Maas expands all the verses we know and love!!!!

Tagging: @aelin-and-feyre, @my-life-is-a-drama-book, @queen-archeron || @mywritingbox, @illyrianinterrasen, @managingmischief007, @ladycassian, @photofeesh, @lets-continue, @ofstarsanddreams, @queenoffantasy, @takenbymyfandoms, @hellosparkyislove, @sensingdejavu, @sierrareads, @sheshibori, @whydoyoucareaboutmyusername, @haileanneposts, @wolffrising, @tothemoonandback-97, @rebelangel36, @dreamilyzealousbird, @poisonbooknerd, @gently-say-aha, @urbisie, @thenameisjaida-blog, @kaliejane26, @crazybookladythings, @cmhmama, @highladyoferilea, @highladyofluna, @artmatekarma, @deezrmuhsheeple, @evulette, @dreamingofazriel, @a-trifling-matter, @court-0f-dreamers, @to-read-is-to-breathe, @221b-impala-fezzz, @little-eidolon, @illyrian-empress, @theheiraelin, @chocolateserialkiller, @averageweirdgirl, @celaena-sardothiien, @thisxisxali, @songbirdsbooks, @seriouslyobsessedfangirl, @booklover242​, @empress-ofbloodshed

Specially Dedicated To: @little-eidolon, @court-0f-dreamers, and @221b-impala-fezzz, who requested content or scenarios that appear in this chapter.

For more of my fics, check out @rhysand-vs-rowan-vs-fanfic!!!!

**If you are on mobile, you may not be able to see the “Keep Reading” tab. Simply scroll to the top of this post and click my URL to see the full text.

Keep reading

Okay little shits I want to say some words about the Earp Sisters- particularly my darling Willa

I see a lot of you guys have been giving her quite a bit of flack- you know for hating Waverly and shooting Nicole and unleashing a writhing tentacle beast on Purgatory. Now these are all very bad things. But I’d like to take a moment to explore how we got here. And as a clinical child psychologist specializing in abuse and trauma- I have A LOT to say about these three. Because OH BOY do they run the spectrum of child abuse outcomes in the real world.

Now, I want to start by saying all three of the Earp sisters were born into an abusive household. But the three had some very different experiences of abuse/neglect, and environment is SO important on child development. Like genetics is some basic groundwork but really it’s environment that does most of the shaping. In this analysis, let’s start youngest:

Waverly Earp. Now Waverly is like an ideal outcome from abuse. Clearly this girl was born with a hell of a lot of resilience in her genes (that Earp? legacy). She can bounce back from a crisis. But, she kinda got it easiest of the three: she was only in the homestead until she was 6- after that she was raised by Gus and Uncle Curtis in what was no doubt a much healthier, stabler household. Now see age 6 is important- because personality is generally done developing just before puberty- about 10 years of age. This factoid of personality development will come up again later, but for Waverly, being removed from a toxic environment at a young age meant she actually had a chance to unlearn/recover from many of the more nasty potential effects of severe neglect (she was by far the most neglected I mean a demon was her best friend and NO ONE KNEW) as well as the sibling abuse inflicted by Willa (blackmail, sadism, power plays- not a good sign in a child). 

Now does the abuse still affect her? Hell yeah! She still lived through it and it changed her permanently- you see it in how she needs love and attention (why else go for Champ as soon as Wynonna leaves town? She needed ANYBODY) even at her own expense. She downplays herself, but simultaneously wants to be important (the Heir- cause you know her dad only cared about the Heir). And you know what I think? She didn’t resist telling Wynonna about Nicole because she was scared what she would think. No. Wynonna of course doesn’t care. No she didn’t say anything because she didn’t want to even risk Nicole getting involved in the toxicity surrounding the Earp family. She wanted Nicole separate to keep her safe (remnant thought process from Willa using what Waverly loved to blackmail her). But still, even with all of this, she is not as severely affected as she would’ve been if she had stayed neglected and abused for say, 12 or 13 years. Waverly had intervention, and real world case studies of severe emotional neglect have shown that a child as old as 5-6 can bounce back remarkably well in the right care. I mean to where you wouldn’t know they had been through Hell- at least not immediately.

Wynonna Earp. Middle sibling, mix of neglect and abuse. She is the most moderate/common outcome from abusive childhoods- with healthy and unhealthy coping mechanisms and personality traits meshed together. Like Waverly, resilient as hell, because she lived in that environment for 12 years, and unlike Waverly didn’t get a healthy stable home afterwards. No she got the foster care system and juvie and unhelpful counselors who essentially gaslighted her (unintentionally but it’s still gaslighting) which does no one any favors. So Wynonna had way more negative environment time, yet she still held on to her “good” side- she has a moral code she follows, she cares for those close to her, she’s able to have a healthy relationship with at least one person (Waverly). I’d almost say she’s shown the most resilience of the three. Now her childhood experience is interesting, because she’s in the middle of this spectrum. She didn’t receive the full force of Ward’s attention because she wasn’t the Heir, Willa was. So that’s less aggression abuse from him, instead she was more neglected by him. But her very close age with Willa put her close to that aggression abuse as she experienced it vicariously through Willa. She saw what he did to Willa by way of abuse and Waverly by neglect, and seeing that affected her. It made her so, so protective and parental. Of both Waverly and Willa. So while Ward may not have done much direct abuse to Wynonna, she still lived it. And it affected her to make her a caretaker. 

It’s also a form of displacement on Wynonna’s part- to be a caretaker. The prospect of caring for herself is far too daunting but caring for another? More doable. Taking a caretaker role also helps her regain some sense of control, none of which she had when she had to witness Ward’s abuse and couldn’t help Willa or Waverly. Now some of you may be asking: “Didn’t she see Willa abuse Waverly? How could she still care for Willa?” Remember she had known Willa much longer than Waverly, and on top of that she knew WHY Willa was so callous and aggressive- she knew first hand why. So she explained it away because she loved Willa and saw she was broken and I’m willing to bet when she witnessed the sibling abuse, she stepped in. I have a feeling Willa did most of it under the radar. Hell I bet even Wynonna got some verbal or emotional abuse at times from Willa, but she went with it because it was less severe. And again she would explain it away. And in Willa’s absence, Wynonna idolized her even more, and she became a myth of herself. Her good qualities remembered over her bad ones. Waverly had a different experience seeing as she didn’t HAVE any good memories of Willa.

Now to the contentious point. Willa Earp. Now I’ve taken you through the personality development of Waverly and Wynonna. You see how they came to be. Now I’m going to show you how Willa came to be. As the Heir, Willa was THE focus of Ward’s attention. And this is where it begins. If she had been neglected she may have actually had a shot, ironically. Because Ward promoted aggression, antisocial behavior, and created a culture of fear. We’ve only seen glimpses but he was taking her out in the middle of night telling her how everyone would die and it’d be her fault. He was creating a paranoid soldier. Now this is awful for a child’s development, especially personality. Remember she lived under Ward’s thumb for 13 years- her personality had long since formed, and it formed to cope with constant fear and a desire to gain some semblance of control over her situation to stay safe. And to keep Wynonna safe. I do not doubt she loved Wynonna- but she loved her how she LEARNED to love another human. Ward had no problem hurting and scaring Willa in a horribly misguided attempt at raising her. She knew as a child that fathers are supposed to love their daughters. So Ward’s abuse must have been how you love (in the mind of young Willa), and you see her applying this with Wynonna. She was more than ready to kill Wynonna because she truly believed it was a kindness and a show of love. 

Did Willa ever love Waverly? I do not think so. Because Waverly didn’t show up until Willa was already about 8 years old and completely bonded to Wynonna. And, I think she was too busy to learn to love her, which I’ll explain more later on. Even in a healthy family, it’s not uncommon for an older sibling to resent a younger one, but add in the way Willa has been treated and raised up until that point, and you get the extreme response of sibling abuse. Now you might ask “So why didn’t Wynonna do the same? Why did she get parental while Willa got aggressive?” and the answer is (for the first time in this whole spiel) likely genetics. 

A quick lesson: everyone is born with a specific type of temperament, which in short is how a child naturally deals with their emotions. Do they sorta “go with the flow” of their emotions, are they a powder keg with strong, uncontrollable emotions, or some mix? Temperament forms the building blocks of all further personality development, and it is far far from destiny. But it’s a genetic predisposition to regulate your emotions in a certain way. And it is interconnected with that resilience I’ve mentioned previously. 

Resilience, if you aren’t sure, is a child’s ability to cope with adversity. The greater the resilience, the more likely a child is to come away from adversity without major psychological harm. A highly resilient child, is more likely to have a “good” temperament (moderate level emotions, relatively easy to work with) whereas a child with low resilience is more likely to have an “at-risk” temperament (very strong emotions that are difficult to regulate). Wynonna, with her obviously high resilience, clearly had a “good” temperament growing up. Willa, most definitely was an “at-risk” temperament (her losing her cool at the slightest provocation with Whiskey Jim for example), and combined with the severe abuse and aggressive environment, that temperament blossomed into the rest of her personality. 

A third vital ingredient in this is called cognitive load. What that refers to is basically how much mental effort/energy the brain spends performing a task or tasks. There is a finite amount of cognitive load the brain can handle, and so it must apportion its time as it sees fit. If there’s a lot of stimuli (external and internal) to deal with, the brain will prioritize, again, as it sees most fit, leaving out “unnecessary” information. EVERYTHING take some cognitive load, from thinking through a problem, to emotional regulation, to social relationships. And we all know you can only juggle so much.

Now let’s combine these three concepts together in Willa. Willa was born with an “at-risk” temperament, which means she has BIG emotions and cannot regulate them well. That takes a LOT of cognitive load to manage. She also has lower resilience to adversity, and some of resiliency’s power comes from a LARGE capacity for cognitive load. You are more resilient if you are better able to process and work through adversity instead of getting drowned in it. So low resiliency=low cognitive load capacity. This already low cognitive load capacity had to deal with emotional regulation of a veritable firecracker, so it’s mostly busy doing that. Add in her forced focus on Ward’s “training” (skills and cognitive tasks) and abuse, and her close bond to Wynonna (a social relationship to manage and someone to protect) and her poor brain is overloaded. It can’t handle any more responsibilities. So when Waverly comes along she sees another potential responsibility and says no. So instead Waverly becomes not only a nuisance to her (she’s got enough to focus on already), but an outlet for her frustration and pain. She has no control with Ward, but she can control Waverly like he does to her. She can feel big, and what kid doesn’t take comfort in feeling big?

Another major thing I want to point out with adult Willa is her obviously stunted emotional and social development, which is no surprise. I’m willing to bet growing up she really didn’t have any friends besides Wynonna, so all of her socialization happened in the Earp homestead (not a great place as has been clearly demonstrated). Willa shows an understanding of the world that is basically that of a preteen. It’s shown as a black and white understanding of other people when she tells Wynonna of the citizens of Purgatory “They hate us Wynonna, they’re evil they deserve that thing!”. It also plays into her lack of emotional regulation, because even a child with an “at-risk” temperament tends to improve some as they age because they learn ways to cope. Willa never did. Now not only did Ward contribute to this stunted development but so did being isolated by Bobo and Lou.

And finally it is here where I will address the Stockholm Syndrome briefly. Only briefly because while she clearly has it- believing Bobo loves her- it did not create Willa as she is. That happened long before Bobo. Bobo used what Ward had started, that’s probably part of what drew him to Willa. Bobo’s influence sure as hell didn’t help because all he did was reinforce everything she had learned up until that point. But Stockholm alone did not make Willa. It’s a much more complicated story and it is tragic and it is one that needs to be heard. She is a product of fear and pain and the need to survive, and while her history does not change the fact that as she is now she is a villain, she is a villain worth sympathy. Because the poor thing never really had a chance from day one. So I dare you to instead take a look at Willa not as the evil lesbian-shooter, but as a scared child trained to be a soldier who is solely responsible for everyone’s lives who cannot handle the pressure and needs to escape and doesn’t know any other way but destruction.