Dear A, who is deathly afraid she’ll never find someone,
You’ll hear that you’re still young, which is true. 17 is young, however you’re never too young to feel lonely.
You’ll hear that you are a beautiful person and have your whole life ahead of you. This is also true. More true than you’ll ever be able to accept. But feeling unworthy of love makes it hard to even partially accept.
You’ll see people around you in relationships and think “why can’t I be in a relationship but they can?”. You won’t like that you think it, but it’s a natural human reaction.
The most important thing that separates you from those people is confidence. You don’t have to think you’re God’s greatest gift to mankind (please don’t), but finding the confidence to talk to those that you have an interest in is a huge leap in the right direction. Go up and say hi. If you botch it and feel awkward and embarrassed, evaluate what went wrong. Learn from it rather than losing yourself in it.
Do things that make you feel good about yourself. My favorite line of all time is “you can’t wait until you feel better to live your life, you have to live your life in order to feel better”. Even if it’s something seemingly small and inconsequential, everyone starts somewhere. The biggest thing to remember is that it’s important to try.
You’re going to fail. There’s no getting around it. Some things that you do or want or even need will not work out. It’s life. Don’t let that discourage you. Failure is a necessary evil on your way to finding what you do well. And it isn’t true failure unless you give up on yourself.
I struggled for a long time to find what I’m good at. I was always middle of the road at best. I tried things and failed miserably, got my heart broken countless times. Took huge hits and suffered great losses. It’s everyone’s story in some way. You’ll see those who you feel have it easy. You’ll think that their perfect life is just handed to them. You’ll get annoyed with their seemingly petty complaints. We all have those people in our lives. Just remember that stress, pain, frustration, and hardships are all relative. To them, these things are difficult to handle. Remember that you are you. Be confident in that. Find one good thing and harness it. Encourage it to grow. It may take years, but you can’t give up.
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I fell in love with a closet guy, and we were having the best time of our life, but now he decided that he couldn’t handle the situation that it’s too much for him right now, he is not prepare to admit that he is gay. It really broke my heart, I understand him, but I really don’t know what to do, he doesn’t want me to stop talking to him. But it breaks my heart to talk to him knowing that right now we are just friends. Love always C.