*whispers* this is a team

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Spencer Reid x Reader (smut)

Requested: Yes. Anon: hey! I really love your blog and I was wondering if you could do a reid x reader where the reader has a wet dream about Spencer and she finally tells him about her dream after he asks her what’s wrong and it ends in smut?? thank you so much

Word Count: 3,589, Warnings: Swearing, NSFW, Oral Sex.

A/N: Oh my God okay so I went a little crazy on this one and it’s a full fledged long fic. I was writing this and I actually needed to take a break my palms were sweating because Reid is so fucking hot. Anyway, I hope you like it! Please let me know if you want a Part 2 ;)

- M xo

(Gif not mine, credit to owner)

Originally posted by hisirishsoufflegirl

Sprawled out on your bed, your naked form was being admired and touched by a handsome man. He glided his fingers up and down the sides of your thighs as he placed sensual kisses on your stomach. “God, you’re so beautiful.”, whispered Spencer. 

Wait what? Spencer? Hold on. Did you just have a wet dream about your nerdy co-worker?

You woke up in your bed covered in sweat as you tried to calm down your flustered state as you panted heavily trying to vaguely recollect the memories of the dream you had just had. It wasn’t a bad dream, in fact, it was amazing. You squeezed your thighs together in hopes of some sort of relief, but all you could do was think about the dream, which made your state even worse.

You sat there in silence as you tried to comprehend what had just happened. You’d been working at the BAU for 4 years now and you had never thought of Spencer that way. Sure he was tall, had gorgeous chiselled cheekbones and never failed to amaze you with his intelligent brain. Oh, God. Here you were thinking inappropriately about your co-worker at 3 in the morning when you had to be in for work at 7. There was no way you were going to act normal in front of him after this strange yet intoxicating image of you and Spencer practically having sex ingrained in your brain. All you could do was try to get back to sleep and hope that the flush would be over in the morning.

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Liberal Arts College Gothic
  • You need another English credit. You already have thousands of English credits. They fill up your room and chase you down the street. You are drowning. You need another English credit.
  • You have an essay due tomorrow. You always have an essay due tomorrow. Tomorrow never comes. You must keep working on the essay. It’s due tomorrow.
  • Everyone is getting undercuts. Under what? You are never sure what lies Beneath. But sometimes, you see the Void.
  • You need classes in different areas for a full education. You go to these areas. Your feet are blistered and bleeding. You must find all the areas. 
  • There is a Party In The Woods. It is exactly like the last one. You fear you are stuck in a time loop, but by then it is too late. Someone sells you a plastic cup of PBR for five dollars. 
  • You know everyone on campus. Their faces, their tattoos, and their souls. You start walking with your eyes closed: you do not want to see. 
  • There are sports teams. They whisper restlessly around the edges of campus. If you look directly at them, they disappear. But once in a while, you can hear them scream. You do not know if it is celebratory or scared. 
  • Straight boys feel alone. There are so few of them. There are straight boys everywhere you look. They feel so alone. 
  • “This way is more environmentally sound,” they say. You can hear the environmental sound. It sounds like Nicki Minaj. 
  • School is not The Real World. Objects crumble under your touch. Your professors are translucent. Your books are in an ancient tongue. This Is Not The Real World. 

concept: it’s the season finale. the team just finished their last battle. while the rest of the team is celebrating, keith and lance hug, and when they separate, they both look at each other and blush. lance leans down to kiss keith, and lance whispers softly, saying “we truly are a good team, aren’t we?” keith: “oh, so you remember?” lance: “of course I do. why wouldn’t I?” they both laugh, and it ends with them looking up at the stars, holding hands, while the screen pans away from them.

NHL!Bitty, Part IX - ‘Loose Lips Sink Ships’

(Alright, you guys voted for #2, so enjoy!)

Eric gets hit on in a hotel bar during All-Star weekend. For the first time in a long time, it’s not because he’s a famous hockey player.

It would be very flattering, except the man trying to seduce him works for Jack’s PR firm, and bro is playing fast and loose with some seriously confidential information. 

NHL!Bitty Masterpost!


It’s been a long, exhausting day. Between the flight, check-in, the press junket, the photo ops, all Eric wants is to get a little bit drunk with the guys, grab some dinner, and fool around in Jack’s hotel room. Hopefully in that order, but he’s open to fooling around whenever.

He must have a dopey smile on his face thinking about the debauchery he’s been looking forward to all week when he realizes someone is watching him from across the bar. 

Tall, nice hair, professional, and he’s looking at Eric, no, at the empty chair next to him. And he’s walking over. 

“Is this seat taken?”

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Bedtime

The party had just cleared some orcs and zombies, and went back to the tavern to collect our reward money from a man called Darren.

Tabaxi: “Bedtime! Wheee!!” *Moves all the players’ pieces to the bedroom on the map*

DM: So Veshrra drags you all off to bed. Qiro, roll perception.

Me: *makes the roll*

DM: You see Darren leaving.

Me: I try to drag myself away to catch him before he goes. *Rolls 13*

Tabaxi: *Rolls nat 20*

DM: Veshrra, the 4ft Tabaxi, picks up you, the 8ft 280lb Firbolg, and carts you all off to bed, tucking you all in, and jumps on top of you, puts a knife to your throat, and whispers “bedtime….”

a purring keith hc

ok so! this is mostly for myself but also for @keiithies 

when keith was young, he would get teased at school for having this weird little quirk.  whenever keith was upset, unhappy, stressed, or nervous, he would make these little rumbles in the back of his throat.  he would purr, which in turn would allow him to calm down, and help slow his heartbeat.  kids being the assholes they were, thought this was weird bc it’s obvious children aren’t supposed to purr, it’s silly for keith to pretend to be a cat!  so keith stopped comforting himself in this way because maybe those kids were right?  he doesn’t see any other kid doing it, it must be weird.  and so, he kept it hidden, nearly forgetting about this old habbit.

fast forward to the the revelation that keith is galra, yknow part big furry space cat.  suddenly, keith’s childhood comfort makes sense now.  he knows it must be part of his physiology, and that it was probably natural.  however, years of conditioning himself to fit in doesn’t make it easy to accept.  any time he feels this rumble in his chest, he clamps down hard on it, forcing it back down his throat.

that is until lance came along.  one night on the training deck after a particularly upsetting and stressful mission, keith is training.  he’s panting, bots scattered around him in shambles.  sweat drips down his temples, and a faint growling sound is coming from his throat.  that’s how lance stumbles upon him.  he can obviously tell keith is starting to become frazzled, his breathing is erratic, eyes wild, and cheeks red.  slowly, as if approaching a wild animal, lance approaches. keith flinches at the first contact of lances hand on his shoulder, but when he spins around he’s met with the kind, concerned eyes of someone who is truly worried about him.

before lance can even say anything keith starts shaking and goes on a huge rant about how stressed he is leading the team, distraught about all the people in the universe still suffering, and the undeniable weight that feels like it’s crushing him.  he’s upset because he can’t calm down and he doesn’t know why nothing works to help him.

and lance just….asks him if he used to do anything as a kid to help him calm down, because thats what he does, uses simple coping techniques from home when it’s really rough.  that question right there freezes keith and he slowly, stutteringly admits to lance that he used to purr when he was upset, and that it must be something the galra do.

internally lance is freaking out because holyshitthatssocute but on the outside he pulls keith gently into his arms and runs his hand through keith’s hair, whispering how it’s okay for him to do it, and that lance (and the team) would never judge him for something that keeps keith level headed and healthy.  tears prickle at the corner of keiths eyes as he turns his face into lance’s neck.  lance is about to give up and accept keith still doesn’t want to take lance’s advice when he feels more than hears soft and muffled purring coming from the boy who’s face is smushed in lance’s collar to hide his red cheeks.

Suicide Squad Club Scene

Only those not paying attention / taking it at face value / or looking for something to complain about… actually believe The Joker was pimping out or “giving” Harley to Monster T.

The Joker barely registered Monster T when he sat at the table. He didn’t look at him, shake his hand or say a word (though in the extended version he responds sarcastically). The second Monster T called Harley a ‘bad bitch’, the performance started and he became his best friend. Those who are around Joker a lot, like Frost, will have seen this before, and knew he was dead.

Originally posted by kingdomofeclipse

Why do you think when Joker calls Harley over, and tells her “you belong to him now” she doesn’t even blink twice and just happily sits on his knee? It’s not because she’s used to being given away, it’s because she’s playing along.

Monster T soon understands his mistake and quickly tries to backtrack while keeping calm. But he’s already been backed into a corner. When Joker mimics Monster T with “you don’t want no beef?!” he’s really saying - ‘it’s too late’.

Notice the watches on Harley’s arm. These are obviously murder tokens from the men they have done this to before.

Originally posted by princess-inpointes

What you are watching here, is two cats playing with a mouse before they eat it. A mouse that swaggered in thinking it was a dog.

DCEU Joker and Harley seem to operate as a sort of tag team. No whispers, no winks, no signals. They just know. There is no way this Joker who searched for Harley for so long would ‘give her away’. And there is no way the Harley that chased down her Mr J on a motorcycle would leave so easily.

They are King and Queen of Gotham, and they don’t share.

Originally posted by kingdomofeclipse

NHL!Bitty, Pt. III - Post-Season

Bitty loves Seattle as much as a southerner can love a city that barely sees the sunshine, and he loves his boys, but god bless it if he doesn’t cross his fingers and toes every year hoping to get picked up by a Metropolitan team so he can at least live on the same coast as Jack.

For a few blissful months every year, Bitty gets his husband back; and promptly does none of what he’s planned to do with said husband.

(Also, point-of-order, Jack’s three-year, 1.2 million a year Falconers contract is on the lower end of the spectrum. The average (2016) NHL salary is around 2.9 mil a year, meaning Jack went pretty cheap for someone being scouted by so many teams. Did our beloved Canadian hockey robot turn down mad-money elsewhere to sign with the Falconers? Probably.) 

Part I - Hug Check |  Part II - Chirping

_________

They’re both snuggled up together in a rare moment of post-season calm. Neither are keen to move any more than the absolutely have to; tucked into lopsided couch cushions while the television plays split-screened between another film missed in theaters and the NHL Network.

It’s been a long, hard-fought season for them both: the Falconers knocked out of the playoffs in the second round, the Schooners barely making a dent in the first. Combine that with their newfound ‘chronic’ injuries and Bitty is happy to just lie here, mindlessly groping any part of Jack he can reach: he’s currently got a handful of pec, while Jack alternates between Bitty’s ass and lower back. It’s not arousing at all, just comfortable; until Jack’s wandering fingers hit a sore spot.  

“You okay?” Jack whispers when Bitty flinches.

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Quick background: One of our players (Jason) had just changed characters from a massive and strong sailor minotaur (named Tosdar) to a gnome rogue. Our DM helped facilitate the change by allowing Tosdar to purchase a ship and leave the party. After a mission with the new set up, our group gets back into town and decides to pursue a new goal in which we need a ship.
Others in this discussion include a player with a gnome druid named Rella (Mike) and a player with tiefling bard (with very high persuasion and intimidation) named Eleeo.

Rella: Hey! Let’s see if Tosdar is still at the docks and get him to give us a lift!

(Insert rolls here to determine if he was still at the dock and if he even wanted to go.)

Tosdar OOC: He is still at the docks but he isn’t ready to leave. He still needs a crew and supplies and that’ll take like five days before he’s ready.

Eleeo: (rolls a 31 to persuade him) Are you suuuuure it’s going to take that long?

Tosdar: …..ok, maybe two days….

Eleeo OOC: (rolls 33 for potential intimidate) What if I try to intimidate you and use thamaturgy to make my eyes glow red and make my voice boom?

Tosdar OOC: Then he would jump on his boat and sail away NOW just to try to get away from you.

Rella OOC: OH OH! You know when people jump on like the tip of the boat and kick it up in the air and turn it around?! That’s what Tosdar would do with the massive ship and just sail out.

Tosdar OOC: This isn’t Moana, Mike.

Eleeo OOC: No, Jason… (whispers) This is Mooooooo-ana.