❝ Any kind of obscenities that have been thrown at him from her, he just doesn’t hear it. He doesn’t see it. He’s got huge rose-colored glasses on. But when [the abuse] comes from everyone else, he does see it. So he’ll blow up at Dan or Jonah, but never Selina. But when she referred to him as “a middle-aged man who gets me my wipes,” he had to actually face what she thought of him. And that was in contrast to how he saw himself the entire time, which was as her “first lady.” Then he just lost it. […] Gary’s got a lot of secrets. Gary’s known her a long time and, as we know, she’s not the purest lady. He knows all the skeletons. He knows all the secrets. But that secret, whatever it is, trumps them all. […] In the heat of the moment, there probably was a realization in her mind that he’s more than just a lap dog. […] [T]he fact that Gary has been separated from Selina now that she’s President has been emotional suicide for him. He would rather be attacked and cussed at and abused than be distanced from her. After this [fight], they’re close again. He’s around her again. ❞ —
No, not your rules. You work at the behest of a system so broken that you didn’t even notice when it became corrupted at its core. When I first broke your rules, a sitting President had authorized assassination squads in Laos and the head of the FBI had ordered his men – you – to conduct illegal surveillance on his political rivals. Your rules have changed every time it was convenient for you.
I was talking about my rules. I have lived by those rules for so long, believed in them for so long, believed that if you played by the right rules, eventually you would win… but I was wrong, wasn’t I? And now all the people I cared about are dead, or will be dead soon enough. And we’ll be gone without a trace.
So now I have to decide… decide whether to let my friends die, to let hope die, to let the world be ground under your heel… all because I played by my rules.
I’m trying to decide. I’m going to kill you. But I need to decide how far I’m willing to go, how many of my own rules I’m willing to break, to get it done…
I wasn’t talking to you.”
– Harold Finch (The Day The World Went Away, 5x10)
THOUGHTS on THAT SCENE from 3x05 because we’re all fucking dying
1) Bellamy’s face when he first sees Clarke. I’m going to either punch Bob Morley in the face or throw an Emmy at it, but either way, it fucking SLAYED me the way he just…stared at her. He’s been through HELL in the past, what, two weeks? First to save her, then to save her AGAIN–during which rescue attempt he lost Gina– and now she’s standing in a room in Arkadia and it’s like he thinks he’s hallucinating.
2) HE CALLED HER OUT FOR LEAVING this is everything I’ve ever wanted as evidenced by the approximately 36 different ficlets I’ve written where they have this exact fight and then do sex stuff to each other. (I get why they didn’t do sex stuff to each other HERE, but a girl can dream.)
3) THEY WERE BOTH CRYING I’m dead seriously I am DYING. “You need me? You left me,” fucking killed me. Literally the only thing missing from that scene was when Clarke said “I knew they’d be okay because they had you,” I was just WAITING for Bellamy to say “But I needed you,” but hey, we got Bellamy fucking crying over Clarke leaving him so I won’t nitpick.
4) Okay, let’s talk about those handcuffs. Bellamy, NO. DID YOU NOT LEARN IN EARLY SEASON ONE WHEN YOU TRIED TO KEEP OCTAVIA PRISONER TO KEEP HER SAFE THAT YOU NEED TO TRUST THE WOMEN YOU LOVE TO MAKE THEIR OWN DECISIONS? For fucking real, Bellamy. We’ve been over this. You know better. *swats him on the nose with newspaper* However, I am interested by his “no this is who I am, not who you tried to make me into” defense, not because I think it’s RIGHT, but because it’s an interesting layer to his character. Bellamy thought he was a monster up to 1x08 and Clarke made him believe he could be better, but after three months without her (and after losing Gina, who I would have liked to have been name checked here because she too clearly believed in the good in him too) he can’t keep up what he thinks is a charade. So he regresses, not because he wants to, but because he thinks that’s who he needs to be to keep everyone safe. Especially if he has to do it without Clarke.
5) At the same time– not excusing this show’s weird “we show our love for Clarke by kidnapping her” fetish– Bellamy may have knelt down and took her hand to trick her, but the emotion in his eyes? That shit was real. He could have snapped those handcuffs on right away (which was, once more for the cheap seats: NOT FUCKING OKAY) but he didn’t. He held her hand, he looked in her eyes, and he saw her smile. And then he took it all away.
6) At the end of 3x03 Clarke risked breaking Bellamy’s heart to keep him safe by sending him away from Polis. In 3x05, Bellamy risked breaking Clarke’s heart to keep her safe by making her stay in Arkadia. Major differences in approach here, mostly in that Clarke left his free will intact Jesus Fucking Christ Bellamy, but I think the intent (protect them at the risk to their own soul) was the same.
Holy shit my mind is racing a millions miles per second and with that is basically on emotional and thoughts invoking-overdrive, have some thoughts like this (more spec and thoughts behind the cut not to clog everybody’s dashes):
I’m super stoked that Jon Hamm finaaaaaaally won for Mad Men, but can we all take a minute to fucking rage at how this is the ONLY acting Emmy this show has EVER won??? Like this show literally lived or died by how well those characters were portrayed and it gets ONE fucking acting Emmy ever??? And it was one that was basically a conciliatory “you should have won this five years ago, sorry dude” Emmy??? The fucking Academy, I s2g.