*thenb

Tentacle Heart Key necklace

Decided to re-visit my old tentacle key concept, and now I remembered why I dropped it… Gosh I hate making those small spots, I can never get them to be even and they take forever haha :’) This is probably the last tentacle key ever for sale, so if you do like it, be sure to grab it.

This did, however, spark a different idea for pendants which I’m really happy with. I will be uploading the first set of them later today! I will leave them a mystery until thenB)

Excerpt From A Letter To Rosalie

i didn’t go
to sleep
until 8-something
this morning
after reading your
poems
on electric cereal

the one,
‘fallopian tubes
are antelopes’,
made me churn
in my chair
sweating gin
warm
and
eventually gentle

what face
do i wear today?

i can’t stop thinking
about a girl
who i’ve known
for a decade
slept with even
when i was 15
but never saw
like i see her now

she plays with my hair
and thinks about death
and i put my hand on her thigh
and she told me
what the doctor said
and she kissed my cheek
and then said 'chemo’
without a blink or pause

she still hasn’t said
'cancer’
but did admit
'hysterectomy’

and i told my father
who was awake
when i came home
in the morning
still sniffling
and he told me
that it didn’t exist
that it wasn’t my concern
just exhale it all away
and enjoy
the comfort
of her person

so we sat across
from eachother
at a cafe
by the sea
and we talked through
her thesis
while we both 
secretly
thought
about the other’s clothing
and then
being forward people
just admitted as much
to eachother
and grinned
like animals
in the salted afternoon

and that’s the face
that i wear today

the one 
that looks up
as i kiss
her stomach
and then–

what is 
your heart
today,
rosalie?

<3
ZOOEY

(@ZooeyGhostly)

x

youtube

The worst thing about being naked—and then
being hit by a car—is that road rash
is a problem for skin. Why was I naked
in the middle of the road at noon? I am glad
you asked, imaginary other half of this
conversation! I have no idea! Some characteristics
of bipolar disorder include dissociation, hallucinations, 
and fugue states, so sometimes I wake up in places
I didn’t go to sleep! 
So. There I am. Nude. Splayed out on a car like a slutty
chicken, and I’m screaming about the government 
conspiracy to take away my feet. Not my real feet. 
Just my brain feet. I’m about six inches away 
from the concrete when I realize, in slow motion, 
like the exact opposite of a rhinoceros attack, 
“This is not how I imagined my life would turn out.” When I was young, I broke
both my ankles jumping off a roof because 
I was sure a cape would enable me to fly. My parents 
attributed this to my strong imagination. Last year,
my therapist called it a delusion. I fail 
to see the difference. Also, I really can fly 
and see the future and make stupid people leave
coffee shops with my mind. Forty-three percent of the time.
Sometimes I see people as colors. For instance, this guy
right here is purple, which means he just got a promotion.
Or a blowjob. A blowmotion, if you will. The point is, 
here is a list of things my brain has told me
to do: join a cult; start a cult; become a cabinet maker;
kill myself, so, in essence, become a cabinet maker;
break into, and then paint, other people’s houses; have sex
with literally everyone who reminds me of my mother;
fight people who are much fightier than me, like
the cops, so, in essence, kill myself. I think a lot
about killing myself, not like a point on a map but rather
like a glowing exit sign at a show that’s never been
quite bad enough to make me want to leave. See, when I’m up
I don’t kill myself because, holy shit, there’s so much left
to do! When I’m down I don’t kill myself because then
the sadness would be over, and the sadness is my old paint
under the new. The sadness is the house fire or the broken
shoulder: I’d still be me without it but I’d be so boring.
They keep telling me seeing things that aren’t technically there
is called “disturbed cognitive functioning.” I call it
“having a superpower.” Once, I pulled over on the 110 freeway
and jumped out of my old Jeep because I saw it burst
into flames twenty seconds before it actually burst
into flames. I knew my girlfriend and I would be
together because she turned bright pink the first time
she saw me. I know tomorrow is going to come
because I’ve seen it. Sunrise is going to come,
all you have to do is wake up. The future has been
at war, but it’s coming home so soon. The future
looks like a child in a cape. The future is the map
and the treasure. The future looks just like gravity: 
everyone is slowly drifting toward everyone else.
We are all going to be part of each other 
one day. The future is a blue sky and a full 
tank of gas. I saw the future, I did, 
and in it I was alive.