Decided to re-visit my old tentacle key concept, and now I remembered why I dropped it… Gosh I hate making those small spots, I can never get them to be even and they take forever haha :’) This is probably the last tentacle key ever for sale, so if you do like it, be sure to grab it.
This did, however, spark a different idea for pendants which I’m really happy with. I will be uploading the first set of them later today! I will leave them a mystery until thenB)
i didn’t go to sleep until 8-something this morning after reading your poems on electric cereal
the one, ‘fallopian tubes are antelopes’, made me churn in my chair sweating gin warm and eventually gentle
what face do i wear today?
i can’t stop thinking about a girl who i’ve known for a decade slept with even when i was 15 but never saw like i see her now
she plays with my hair and thinks about death and i put my hand on her thigh and she told me what the doctor said and she kissed my cheek and then said 'chemo’ without a blink or pause
she still hasn’t said 'cancer’ but did admit 'hysterectomy’
and i told my father who was awake when i came home in the morning still sniffling and he told me that it didn’t exist that it wasn’t my concern just exhale it all away and enjoy the comfort of her person
so we sat across from eachother at a cafe by the sea and we talked through her thesis while we both secretly thought about the other’s clothing and then being forward people just admitted as much to eachother and grinned like animals in the salted afternoon
and that’s the face that i wear today
the one that looks up as i kiss her stomach and then–
The worst thing about being naked—and then being hit by a car—is that road rash is a problem for skin. Why was I naked in the middle of the road at noon? I am glad you asked, imaginary other half of this conversation! I have no idea! Some characteristics of bipolar disorder include dissociation, hallucinations, and fugue states, so sometimes I wake up in places I didn’t go to sleep! So. There I am. Nude. Splayed out on a car like a slutty chicken, and I’m screaming about the government conspiracy to take away my feet. Not my real feet. Just my brain feet. I’m about six inches away from the concrete when I realize, in slow motion, like the exact opposite of a rhinoceros attack, “This is not how I imagined my life would turn out.” When I was young, I broke both my ankles jumping off a roof because I was sure a cape would enable me to fly. My parents attributed this to my strong imagination. Last year, my therapist called it a delusion. I fail to see the difference. Also, I really can fly and see the future and make stupid people leave coffee shops with my mind. Forty-three percent of the time. Sometimes I see people as colors. For instance, this guy right here is purple, which means he just got a promotion. Or a blowjob. A blowmotion, if you will. The point is, here is a list of things my brain has told me to do: join a cult; start a cult; become a cabinet maker; kill myself, so, in essence, become a cabinet maker; break into, and then paint, other people’s houses; have sex with literally everyone who reminds me of my mother; fight people who are much fightier than me, like the cops, so, in essence, kill myself. I think a lot about killing myself, not like a point on a map but rather like a glowing exit sign at a show that’s never been quite bad enough to make me want to leave. See, when I’m up I don’t kill myself because, holy shit, there’s so much left to do! When I’m down I don’t kill myself because then the sadness would be over, and the sadness is my old paint under the new. The sadness is the house fire or the broken shoulder: I’d still be me without it but I’d be so boring. They keep telling me seeing things that aren’t technically there is called “disturbed cognitive functioning.” I call it “having a superpower.” Once, I pulled over on the 110 freeway and jumped out of my old Jeep because I saw it burst into flames twenty seconds before it actually burst into flames. I knew my girlfriend and I would be together because she turned bright pink the first time she saw me. I know tomorrow is going to come because I’ve seen it. Sunrise is going to come, all you have to do is wake up. The future has been at war, but it’s coming home so soon. The future looks like a child in a cape. The future is the map and the treasure. The future looks just like gravity: everyone is slowly drifting toward everyone else. We are all going to be part of each other one day. The future is a blue sky and a full tank of gas. I saw the future, I did, and in it I was alive.