*ted

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There’s nothing sadder than a relationship that absolutely should exist but never can. Whether two people are separated by rival families, social class, or in very special cases, galaxies and time, you know that they would be great together but you'll never get to see it happen, except on a t-shirt. We believe there could be no greater friendship than between these two breathing apparatus-dependent badasses, and if you were also thinking that they would make a great band, well you're goddamn right.
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How to Tap Into Your Creativity: Tips from TED Talks

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Ted Cruz’s anti-Trump RNC speech gets the Bad Lip Reading treatment (For more info, visit Joe.My.God.; For a related video, click here http://christiannightmares.tumblr.com/post/140352320611/ted-cruz-gets-the-bad-lip-reading-treatment-and)

tinyzombiez  asked:

New Battle: Who would win in a fight: Mitt Romney or Ted Cruz Battle Ground: The Edge of an Active Volcano, the only thing they're equipped with are neckties.

oooooh… this is a toughie. now, i’m gonna infer that richer men not only own more ties but know more tie knots because of class stuff. romney is worth $250 million, while ted cruz is worth a mere $3.5 million. from this we can infer that mitt possesses more tie-related knowledge and ability to use a tie. however, this is barely relevant.

now, ted cruz is 5′10″, while mitt romney is 6′2″. in a fight, a taller person’s weakness is balance. the edge of an active volcano is not the place to lose one’s balance.

the weapons favor mitt romney.

the scene favors ted cruz.

now, both weapons and scene are unconventional, but i’m going to say the scene is more important. therefore, i think ted cruz would win.

just for fun, compare ted cruz holding a gun to the closest thing the google search “mitt romney holding a gun” had to, well, mitt romney holding a gun:

i don’t know about you, but in my eyes ted has won this round.

anonymous asked:

Bi aro Ted Tonks who loves aroace Andromeda deeply, and who in turn is deeply loved by her. - R

Little firstie Ted Tonks is short. He’s awkward. He’s shy. He trips over his robes as he glares in awe up at the ceiling, wondering if it’s the outside or an enchantment. He has much to learn.

In his second year, Ted is excitable. Perhaps a little annoying. He’s a know-it-all. And he’s full of near ceaseless energy when around his friends.

Third year Ted is impatient. He wants to take all the classes - and none of them. He gets detention for the first time. He and his friends fight and make up.

By fourth year, Ted is beginning to mature. Ted must accept that he’s different from many of his peers. His friends are all ablaze about the pretty and intelligent girls they’re noticing. And Ted is, too! But nobody but him seems to want to point out that the guys are hot as well (except for the girls, of course).

Bisexual fifth year Ted refuses to date. He’s listened to his friends gush about their girlfriends. He was the first person his bestie came out to (”you helped me realize I was gay, so I figured it was you I could trust most”). He wants to kiss and cuddle, but he’s not too sure about dating. He’s got friends for that - doesn’t he?

Lost sixth year Ted doesn’t know who to turn to, so he turns to the library. He’s learned so many things there. The use of gillyweed. What creatures it is that pull the carriages. The truth about Hogwarts’ great hall ceiling. Perhaps there’s an answer there for how he feels. But if there is - Ted can’t find it. What he does find is a temperamental Black sister who can’t seem to figure out if she’s okay with him talking to her or not. It distracts him, to try and become her friend, so he laughs it off when she rebukes him and glows a little inside when she returns friendly affection.

Nearly a legal man, seventh year Ted is aromantic. And completely out to his friends. It was the muggle library that helped him. He’d nearly forgotten they were useful, too. None of his friends really understand his friendship with Andy, who is aromantic like him, but also asexual. He calls them out for their misogyny in front of their girlfriends. He’s doing things like that a lot now. When he asked Andromeda why she didn’t call out her family (he’s heard mudblood easily slip from Bellatrix’s mouth more than a couple times), she points out all the things he could call others out for and doesn’t. Ted doesn’t question her further, just works on bettering himself.

The day after he’s graduated, Andromeda shows up at his house with a wry look in her eye and refusing to talk. His parents are bemused, but let Andromeda stay - as long as she and Ted sleep in different rooms. Ted firmly tells his parents they’d have nothing to worry about even if it was their business, then whisks Andy away to the guest room. Just when his parents begin to wonder if she’ll stay forever, she opens up to Ted about the fight with her family, ending in her being disowned. When she says she’ll go, no longer a burden on his family, he says he’ll go with her. And that’s how the two of them enter the world as independent adults: unprepared but together.

~Hufflepuff Mod

“All the killings are going to be blamed on me.”

“Big deal, death comes with the territory……see you in Disneyland.”

“Even psychopaths have emotions. Then again, maybe not.”

“Give me your gun, I’ll take care of myself. You know I’m a killer, so shoot me, I deserve to die. You can see Satan on my arm.”

“I believe that most humans have within them the capacity to commit murder. ”

“I gave up love and happiness a long time ago.”

“I love to kill people. I love watching them die. I would shoot them in the head and they would wiggle and squirm all over the place, and then just stop. Or I would cut them with a knife and
watch their faces turn real white. I love all that blood. I told one lady to give me all her money. She said no. So I cut her and pulled her eyes out.”

~Richard Ramirez