We could never be together”
“It’s wrong, I’m too old for you”
“Does it feel wrong when we’re together?”
“No, it feels perfect”
“Then we have to be together, we’re soul mates”
“But we can’t - people will question my intentions with you”
“Well I know your intentions and that’s all that matters”
“I could loose my job, my friends, my reputation”
“You’ll never loose me, isn’t that enough?”
“I guess it’ll have to be
How long could we have lasted? Another day? Week? Year? Decade? Would we have gotten married, cried during our first dance and honeymooned in Italy? Had two babies, a house with a white Pickett fence and a dog? Would we have clung to each other another few years until we both went down, drowned in our love, beautiful but suffocating. What if you hadn’t of gotten scared? We hadn’t cared about others opinions? What if i was older? Smarter? Prettier? Would that of made a difference? Maybe that would of made you fight harder. Where would we be now?
Maybe i didn’t fall in love with him as a whole person.
But all the individual things that made him, him.
Like his grown out stubble he refuses to call a beard
His skin like coffee with too much added milk
and the vast oceans that live inside his eyes
I was so consumed by loving him that i forgot what hating myself felt like. His voice was the light that guided me through the dark. Everyone needs someone to make them feel like tomorrow is more than just another day. He’s my person. He’s my tomorrow
I want you. I want your entirety. I don’t just want burning passion on a Friday night when red wine and whisky flow through our veins. I want to leave little notes on the kitchen table for you. I want to drink coffee with you in December and orange juice in June. I want you when your angry, sad, ecstatic with happiness. I just want all of you all the time and i guess thats how i know i love you