[Headcanon] How Kumo really ended up with the Nibi.

Alternatively: That one time Tobirama made friends with the Necromancer Hellcat.

Because I can totally see the Nibi trolling the Shinobi world. Mito thinks it’s hilarious, and Tobirama has got to get his kicks somehow.

It begins when Mito seals the Kyubi into her navel with nothing but ink and chakra. Suddenly the whole shinobi world is gearing up, ready for battle. In the idiot-mind of Tobirama’s older brother (seriously, this naïve trusting nature of his will get him killed someday) the best thing to do is to track down the other bijuu, seal them up into nice little packages, and ship them off to neighboring countries.

‘Everybody gets a Bijuu!’ He announces over the kotatsu during dinner one night, beaming at his own brilliance.

Tobirama facepalms when he hears this.

Mito snorts, but secretly she agrees with her brother-in-law.

This can only end in tears.

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anonymous asked:

Was Hashirama Senju a Buddhist? Or whatever religion it is that all his techniques seem to come from, anyway, was he religious? It just seems... kinda strange... for a person that's practically a mercenary for hire.

Going by all the symbols around him, probably yes. Was he religious? Maybe? We have never received hints proving nor disproving of this. 

As to it seeming strange that a mercenary for hire can potentially also be a Buddhist, it’s because of your lack of actual knowledge (as opposed to badly conjured stereotypes propagated by Western and a fair number of Eastern media) regarding Buddhism. You think Buddhism is a peaceful religion? Well, to be fair, modern Buddhism is a largely peaceful religion. However, the various historical branches and offshoots of Buddhism never were peaceful. 

Think of Catholicism and the time of the so called Holy Crusade with its wholesale slaughters of thousands of innocents deemed sinful heathens by the church. Did Catholicism seem like a peaceful religion then? Think of the Mormon and Roman Catholics. Think of the differences and the similarities between the two. Buddhism is an older religion even than Roman Catholicism and all its offshoots. Do you not think it possess equal or even greater complexity and variability than Catholicism? That the average Westerner’s idea of Buddhism is this one single culturally homogeneous image is testament to the power of mass media portraying of foreign cultural concepts.   

Japanese Buddhism mainly comprises of the Six Nara Buddhism Schools, the Esoteric Schools, and the Kamakura schools. Below these schools are countless branches and offshoots (including Zen Buddhism). Because of historical situations and necessity, there were times in Japanese history where temples and pagodas harbored a class of warrior monks. Well… to call them monks maybe… not so accurate. However, there is no exact equivalent word in the English language so most translations simply put them as monks. A more accurate description would be they were sanctioned killers and assassins who also doubled as orderlies while living within temple grounds. Who sanctioned them? Well, that is a murky issue indeed. Let me tell you how the historical so called warrior monks came about. They came about because of a crown-sanctioned war on religions. 

See, Buddhism is not a religion indigenous to Japan itself. It was imported in from China at the time (and China imported it from India) and made popular via the royal family (some of them). The indigenous religion (well, less a religion and more a spirituality) is Shintoism which is fairly similar to Druidism. The thing about Shintoism is that there is no singular ultimate ‘god’. Instead, there are countless divine spirits inhabiting every corner of the world and even existing in the human heart itself. People following Shintoism are free to follow whatever god they want. Nowadays, this countless gods thing is not a problem, but back then in the ancient world, people worshiping countless gods means that there were countless reasons why the power of the crown would always be second best to some other divine powers (think of the ancient world where monarchs tended to claim divine ancestry in order to legitimate their rule. The problem with countless gods is that… who the fuck are they supposed to be the mortal descendants of? Get it?)

During the Heian period (794-1185), the Japanese crown enforced a singular religion, Buddhism, on the populace as a means to control them. Of course, lots of people rejected Buddhism. Faith was not something easily swayed after all and back then Japan was a fractured state comprised of many many smaller independent city states and tribes each with their own patron deity. In a bid to suppress and control all these smaller powers, the crown of Japan during the Heian period waged a bloody religious war in order to enforce this single religion edict. Thousands of people were slaughtered. Entire communities were wiped out. All in the name of upholding the holy edict of the enlightened Bodhi. But of course, in particular case, it became very unwieldy to use the royal army to do the dirty deed (because then it would be too easy for political opponents of the crown to point out that this had nothing to do with faith and everything to do with power). Thus was born the so-called warrior monks, which at its birth was more or less a class of state-sanctioned killers in monk’s robes. They were called the Sohei. As times went on, control of the Sohei fractured and went to many other powers. The crown alone did not possess full control of the Sohei anymore. Instead, there were various sects of Sohei under the control of powerful provincial lords or influential temples. There were times where the Sohei were armies unto their own and posed a significant threat to many warlords during war era. 

So, in my eyes, the fact that Hashirama maybe a Buddhist and the fact that his profession boils down to mercenary for hire really aren’t all that difficult to reconcile for me. In fact, they fit perfectly.  

anonymous asked:

❝ He’s a predator, an animal, a killing machine, and just because you’ve decided to turn a blind eye to that doesn’t make it any less true. ❞ - A random person to Reiko... I want to see what she will say about Madara to someone

Reiko was so done with all of this. This was the second of her lords to come up with such blatant slander. Her future husband was many things, including an effective assassin, a great warrior but above all he was human. 

The whole rumor came about when she received a letter from Tobirama Senju. He had suggested the man she should marry should not be Madara, but himself, which to her was utterly ridiculous. However it was enough to cast doubt on the Uchiha clan leader for some, who already did not like the match. 

“Unlike you, Baron, I’ve seen my fiance in action.I’m also seen the cowardice of the other man you think would be better, and the face of your son. I’m not Blind, nor have I disregarded anything. I know who I am marrying… now leave me..”


definitelynotaminion  asked:

Just saw a pic of stubbly blonde clint barton and red-headed pyjama-clad Natasha romanov laying in bed and mistook them for short-haired minato and kushina. (As an aside, Clint is one of my top faves forever.) Imagine that reincarnation? Tobirama "Sorceror Supreme" Senju, probably. Hey, hey, Groot is actually a marvel character, so he can be Hashirama. Gamora!Mito. Ahem Madara=magneto? Freya/Odin/Thor= Orochimaru, Sakumo and Kakashi. Obito as Loki?? (Rin=Sif) Thor trolls everyone "what is tech?"

Oh god. This is - I want this so much just for Kakashi as Thor. Like, this is brilliance I could not have imagined if I tried. Now I’m picturing the Avengers movie playing out only Kakashi’s parents wander down to fuck shit up, and everyone is appropriately awed. 

It was a normal day at the Hyuga compound and the members of the clan practiced the gentle fist together forging bonds as comrades as well as a family.  Unlike the other members the copper sinned Shinigami-Hyuga alternated  palm thrusts with a traditional punch and tried to add the grace and liteness of the gentle fist to the power of mui tai. The poses the man struck were both eligent and refined while bostering an heir of power and ferocity.  Over the years of him being in the villiage he had become more accepted and welcomed by the clan as well as gaining their respect by being selected as a member of team Senju.  Only one other was chosen to be taught by the Fifth Hokage; this outsider had proven himself worthy of notice by being nothing other than who he was. For some reason all who lay eyes upon the male said the same, “ the will of fire burns strongly in this young man. ” ryoko looked to the street and noticed someone walking by that he had never met before and asked who it was only to be met by the words “ that us an Uchiha….the heirs of the sharingan.”

Star Trek AU: The Ridiculousness Continues

So I’m in the uh… middle (?) stages of plotting out more Star Trek AU fusion. You can all blame @squidspawn​ especially, but also @redhothollyberries​ on the fact that my PWP (with feels) is not staying an erotic oneshot. No, you’re going to get plot and ridiculous shenanigans and relationships (with kink sprinkled on top *rolls eyes*) in true, wacky, Star Trek glory.

(I have NEVER SEEN Star Trek. I am not a Trekkie. SQUID! This is your fault! )

So now I need a crew. Or at least I need the Staff Officers decided. So I’m gonna throw out what I have and see what ideas readers throw back at me. Because I have… 377 followers (??? how did that happen???) and you guys might have fun opinions!

**Bold is roles I’m pretty sure of**

Capt. Senju Hashirama … XO Uchiha Madara … Science Officer/Second Officer Senju Tobirama … Medical Officer Senju Tsunade … Chief Engineer/Third Officer Uzumaki Mito … Security Chief Senju Touka… Head Counselor Yamanaka Inoichi …

And that’s all specific ideas so far. I know Kakashi is in Security with a bunch of other trolls, Izuna’s somewhere, Itama’s somewhere, Kawarama hasn’t arrived on the ship yet, Sai&Sasuke&Sakura&Naruto are in Security learning to be badass in ways that will stop damaging the ship, Yamato is a biologist, Kakuzu and Sasori and probably at least a few other Akatsuki are off being non-legal (in Federation laws) somewhere,

So yeah, throw ideas at me for roles and characters and let’s see what happens. I have a writer’s block on the soulmate drabbles so I’m trying to do technical work right now.

EDIT: I forgot to mention that we’re going with roughly NGEN for Galaxy-class ships and uniform color. Because that ends up with Hashirama and Madara wearing red like giant walking targets (which matches their canon armor)  ^.^b

Can we have a round of applause for Old Man Teuchi from Ichiraku? The ramen chef not only fed Naruto when he was starving as a child but has overheard numerous top-secret conversations without being a snitch

anonymous asked:

And, so desperate Obito brings back Madara early to get at the Sannin Jinchuuriki, except Madara finds out Tsunade Senju is the Kyubi's keeper and at first he's like hell yeah! VENGEANCE! But then he starts to think and then realises that---holy shit--Forget about Tobirama and Hashirama. Mito and Toka would dig themselves out of there graves and utterly destroy any hope of anything.

xD I love this. Mito would absolutely murder him, no hesitation at all. Touka would be just as bad. 

Submission by @renach4n: So I’m maybe actually going to get something out considering I’m still working on how this khr/Naruto fusion works (one day I’ll finish something!), but *Obito as Sky and that being a giant red flag he’s got Senju blood*. Uchiha tend Mist or Thunder (side note that Sasuke got Storm from his mom and part of the tension with his dad is trying to fit him in the wrong role) and suddenly here’s this fidelity question BUT

Senju tend Sun or Sky with way more Suns, and Konoha hasn’t had a Sky leader since Hashirama (yet another reason Minato ends up heir, since no clan but holy shit he’s Sky) so the Uchiha also see the upside of this and Konoha wants all the Skies it can get-

Then whoops he dies. Only not. ….And I wasn’t going for Varia/Xanxus parallels but I guess they decided to add themselves.

(For the curious on Hokage flames, Hashi - Sky, Tobi - Sun, Hiruzen - Rain, Mina - Sky, Tsunade - Sun, Kaka - Storm, Naru - Sky

And Danzo is a cloud who takes the aloof part of his role too far, esp after being cloud guardian for three different leaders)