Balancing your Life

Reaching a balance is a learning process.  Here are some suggestions to help you find and keep your balance.

1. Build healthy self-esteem:  Self-esteem is more than just seeing your good qualities. It is being able to see all your abilities and weaknesses together, accepting them, and doing your best with what you have.

2. Build confidence: Take a good look at your good points. What do you do best?  How would a friend describe you? Now, look at your weak points. What do you have difficulty doing? What things make you feel frustrated? Remember that all of us have our positive and negative sides. We let our strengths shine, and we build on our weak points to help us mature and grow.

3. Receive as well as give: Many of us confuse having a realistic view of our good points with conceit. We have trouble accepting kindness from others. We often shrug off a compliment with a, “Yes, but…” and put ourselves down. The next time someone compliments you, say, “Thank you! I’m glad you think so.” Then think about other compliments you have had, and how good they made you feel.

4. Make friends who count: Friends help you understand that you are not alone. They help you by sharing your “ups” and “downs”, and you in turn help them.

5. Figure out your priorities: Our challenge is to know the difference between our real needs and our “wants”, and to prioritise what matters most.

6. Create a meaningful budget: Write out a budget for yourself. Is it realistic? Have you planned what to do with the money left over for your “wants”? Which “wants” are most important to you?

7. Get involved: Being involved in things that really matter to us provide a great feeling of purpose and satisfaction. You should always remember that you make a difference, no matter how big or small your efforts.

8. Learn to manage stress effectively: Stress is a normal part of life. How you deal with it will depend on your attitude. Planning helps, and so does staying calm.

9. Cope with changes that affect you: It would be nice to “live happily ever after”, but there will always be challenges in our lives. changes can be stressful, so we need to be flexible and learn ways to cope.

10. Deal with your emotions and moods: We are all challenged to find safe and constructive ways to express and share our feelings of anger, sadness, joy and fear. Your ways of experiencing and expressing emotions are unique because you are unique.

11. Have a spirituality to call your own: Learn to be at peace with yourself. Get to know who you are: what makes you really happy, what you are really passionate about. Learn to balance what you are able to change about yourself with what you cannot change. Learn to trust your inner self.

12. Spend quality time with yourself: Set aside time to be totally alone, and to do something you love to do.

Source:  http://www.cmha.ca/mental_health/balancing-your-life/#.UOBgjvWwXmU (Abridged)

Learning lessons is a little like reaching maturity. You’re not suddenly more happy, wealthy, or powerful - but you understand the world around you better, and you’re at peace with yourself. Learning life’s lessons is not about making your life perfect, but about seeing life as it was meant to be.
—  Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

please, i’m begging you
please stop saying “but you look like a girl”
please stop asking “if you’re not a girl then why do you look like that?”
please fucking stop
i get it
i get that you think i look like a girl
but i live in this body, i live in this temple, and i do not need to answer intrusive questions about it just because you’re “curious” or you “disagree.”
please stop challenging it
please stop questioning it
please stop insisting that your opinion of me is more important or more “correct” than my own opinion of me
i don’t care if you think it’s wrong
please understand that i do not have to explain myself to you
and asking about my genitals and “what happened to make me like this” is rude, hurtful, and intrusive
please stop



“Find meaning. Distinguish melancholy from sadness. Go out for a walk. It doesn’t have to be a walk during which you’ll have multiple life epiphanies and discover meanings no other brain ever managed to encounter. Do not be afraid of spending quality time by yourself. Find meaning, or don’t, but “steal” some time and give it freely and exclusively to your own self. Opt for privacy and solitude. That doesn’t make you antisocial or cause you to reject the rest of the world. But you need to breathe. And you need to be.”
—Albert Camus.

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