*runs fingers through hair ;w;

Class Dismissed

 Request:  Can you do a Chris Beck x reader where Chris is teaching new NASA recruits and the reader is one of the students and they are both super attracted to each other and like smuuuttt please

Pairing: Dr. Chris Beck x Reader

Warnings: language, unprotected sex (please use condoms), mentions of hospital stay.

Originally posted by vibraniumdoll

Originally posted by my-dragons-fell-out

My first day as a NASA employee, you could say I’m nervous. But also so excited for this new chapter in my life. I was at a horrible time in my life, I was constantly sick for about 3 months, been to doctor to doctor to doctor, and no one seemed able to help me. I had given up hope, and the only person I was relying on more than anything, my boyfriend of 3 years, went ahead and cheated on me. And you know what makes it even worse? It was cliche, he was cheating on me with my best fucking friend, and I found out on the day I found out what was wrong with me. I had just found out I had sepsis, and they caught it just in time. I was hospitalised for 3 weeks while they pumped antibiotics and fluids, while battling depression. Neither him nor her came to see me once in the hospital. Once I got out I had a new lease on life, and so far I’ve never seen either of them again. I enrolled for the NASA recruit program, and I was accepted. I’m here today, about to met my instructor. I’ve met a few of the students, and they’re pretty cool so far.

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Ashes pt 5 [M]

A/N: HAPPY HALLOWEEN. I COULDNT NOT UPLOAD THIS TODAY ;-)

Genre: Angst, Smut, Vampire!AU

Pairing: Hoseok x Reader

Length: 6.0k

Originally posted by lethargicmin

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Final

You didn’t know if you were alive or dead. Except it was hard to breathe. The raging pain from your stomach was making it hard to fixate on anything. You slammed your eyes shut, hoping that when you woke up it would all be a dream. Maybe you would even be human again. That this was all some elaborate nightmare. You would wake up in your room. Your cat sleeping at the foot of your bed. Your parents would be downstairs arguing over sections of the newspaper.

It was all a dream. It had to be.

But when your eyes opened your realized you were still in hell. Someone had brought you to the room. The room. The room where you took your first drink. The room you were sure you weren’t going to ever leave. Except this time, you were the only person inside its walls.

You tried to pick yourself up off the floor but the searing pain that ripped through your body held you to the ground with invisible hands. You looked down at your body. There was so much blood. And then you remembered the guard you had killed. Everything was coming back in patches. Bits and pieces fitting together like a puzzle piece.

You noticed your open wounds. The source of the pain. Bullet holes. 5 of them. That son of bitch had shot you 5 times. You swallowed as you realized that none of the bullets were near your heart. He wasn’t trying to kill you. He had something else in mind.

Him. Kai. His voice echoed through your ears as you tried to think of how you got here. Kai wasn’t in the building. He had been waiting for you in the car. He must of somehow known what you were planning on doing. Somehow he wasn’t dead. You slammed your head against the wall. You felt the blood trickling down a new wound. But you didn’t care. You were going to be dead in a few hours anyway. How could I be so fucking stupid? All of this for nothing.

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nerdydisney  asked:

AU where Shiro and Keith are going on a date to have some alone time and have dinner.Later when Shiro has to go outside to make a quick phone call to check up on the kids and somebody starts flirting with Keith and when Shiro comes back he has to come to Keith's rescue.

[The Voltron Family] Shiro and Keith were having a date so they headed to a hotel to enjoy a 5 course set dinner for two and so far the night was going great. They were just patiently waiting for their food to start arriving when Shiro remembered about their kids. The kids were with The Galras for the mean time because Allura couldn’t watch over them since she was on duty at the hospital. 

Shiro: *looks at his watch that Keith gifted him* It’s 9pm. I should probably check on the kids, just to make sure they’re not causing Zarkon some trouble.
Keith: *nods* Alright, go do that. I’ll just steal all your food when it arrives.
Shiro: *chuckles* Please don’t do that, love.
Keith: *smirks* Can’t promise you that. 
Shiro: *shakes his head fondly* Alright, I’ll be back. 

Shiro stood up and left to go outside of the restaurant to make a quick call to check up on the kids. Keith sat there slowly looking around and so many couples wearing fancy dresses and suits were eating and chatting. He looked at himself and he was actually glad that Shiro and him got to dress up in tuxedos and have some time to themselves. 

God. Shiro looked so handsome with his fricking bowtie and Keith wanted to die. How on Earth did he get so lucky to have married someone so wonderful, smart like Shiro? He didn’t deserve him and they were married for 5 years already. He groaned as he unconsciously brought his head down to the table thinking about how amazing Shiro was with the kids and as his husband. His cheeks started to heat up just thinking about it when his thoughts were disrupted.

Random handsome guy: *sits down across Keith* Sorry I was late, babe. Traffic. You know how it is.
Keith: *looks at the guy in confusion* *slowly gets up from the table*
Random handsome guy: Didn’t mean to be late.
Keith: *raises an eyebrow* Do I know y—
Random handsome guy: *eyes wanders around* Of course, we’ve been dating for a few years now. *chuckles* You silly bab.
Keith: *shifts in the table* Uh, I think you’ve mista—
Random handsome guy: *whispers* Just play along.
Keith: *whispers* Why?
Random handsome guy: I saw you groaning as you wait for your date that people started to look at you. I can’t stand douche bags who ditch dates especially someone as attractive as you.
Keith: *flushes* Oh, god. You’re mistaken!
Random handsome guy: *blinks repeatedly* What do you mean? You’re not on a date?
Keith: Oh, I am on a date but—
Random handsome guy: And this person didn’t show up. *shakes head* Honestly, I hate it when—
Keith: I’m on a date with my husband! *frantic*
Random handsome guy: *fish mouths* W-What?
Keith: *runs his fingers through his hair* *chuckles* He’s just outside making a quick call to our kids. Sorry, I totally get now what you’re trying to do but it’s not what it looks like.
Random handsome guy: Oh. So why were you… like dying on the table?
Keith: *eyes widens* *flushes* Nothing! It was nothing. *bites his lip* *embarrassed he got caught and a lot of people saw*
Random handsome guy: *apologetic* Oh gosh. I’m sorry. *chuckles* I’m Heinrich by the way. And you are?
Keith: Keith. *smiles* You… uh, I don’t mean to assume, German?
Heinrich: *smiles fondly* I am. How did you know?
Keith: The accent mostly gave it away. 
Heinrich: Of course. *chuckles* You Japanese? You have their beautiful eyes.
Keith: Yes…. *nods* *squints suspiciously* *looks around to look for Shiro*
Heinrich: So, you’re married?
Keith: Yeah, yeah I am. *sweats nervously* Uh, shouldn’t you go back to your table since it’s just false alarm? Don’t you like have a date too or something?
Heinrich: *waves hand dismissively* Oh it’s nothing. Just a family dinner.
Keith: *nods* Right. Okay.
Heinrich: *smiles wider* I’d like to keep you company until your husband comes back if you don’t mind?
Keith: But why? 
Heinrich: Like I said, I don’t like seeing attractive people being left alone especially at such a fancy place like this.
Keith: Please don’t say that.
Heinrich: Say what? That you’re attractive? I’m only stating a fact, Keith.
Keith: That’s a very subjective fact.
Heinrich: *hums as he stares at Keith* I don’t think so though. I’m pretty sure your husband would agree with me. I sure do hope he tells you that everyday.
Keith: *tries to check is Shiro’s finally back using his peripheral vision* *is very distracted* *looks back at Heinrich* Sorry, tell me what again?
Heinrich: *chuckles* That’s you’re very beautiful.
Keith: *cheeks starts heating up* *fondles with the table mantle* Uh…
Heinrich: I’m guessing you don’t really get compliments that often? If I was your husband I’d say that to you every second if I’m just being honest. 
Keith: *stammers* Umm… that’s kinda excessive. *forces a chuckle*
Heinrich: You think? I don’t think so though. A man like you needs to be…
Shiro: Keith!
Keith: *looks up and sees Shiro walking his way* *smiles* *silently praises all the gods* 
Shiro: *stands next to Keith and looks at Heinrich* And who’s this?
Heinrich: Ah, you must be the husband? 
Shiro: I am. Taskashi Shirogane. 
Heinrich: Hmmm. *gives Shiro a once over and then looks at Keith again* I can see it now.
Shiro: *cocks his head*
Heinrich: *stands up* Keith will tell you what happened here. I’m Heinrich. It was nice seeing a beautiful married couple tonight. *smiles* *whispers to Shiro* Your husband seems to have a difficult time accepting compliments. It’s honestly adorable. You’re a very very lucky man.
Shiro: *stiffens* *looks at Heinrich*
Heinrich: *smiles kindly* Well, I’ll go back now and leave you two to your dinner date. Hopefully we’ll see each other again soon, Keith. *smiles at Keith*
Keith: *gives him a small smile*

As soon as Heinrich left, Shiro sat on his seat again and he looked at Keith.

Shiro: What was that? I walked back as fast as I could when I saw you looking like you wanted to just leave the table. You looked so uncomfortable.
Keith: *sighs and buries his face in his hands* 
Shiro: *giggles* You looked so flushed.

So Keith told him everything when their food arrived and Shiro was so amused at the same time a little bit jealous.

Shiro: You really can’t stand compliments, can you?
Keith: They’re embarrassing. *sighs*
Shiro: Yeah, but the man was just stating a fact although in such a flirty way but, a fact is a fact.
Keith: *stares at Shiro*
Shiro: What? Even I give you compliments, Keith. *smiles softly* Are you telling me you don’t like it when—
Keith: It’s different when it’s you, Takashi. *whispers* I’m in love with you, not with him.
Shiro: Keith, that’s low blow. *blushes* 
Keith: What? *smirks* I’m just stating a fact. *mocks* Heinrich should see you flush when I tell you I’m in love with you. You’re just so red. It’s adorable.
Shiro: I hate you sometimes. I’ll make sure you pay for that later.
Keith: I love you too, my darling. *chuckles* 

Translation: RoyAi Fireworks Event (FMA: Prince of the Dawn)

Hiiiii~!! I’m back with my rough translations of anything Royai. This time I chose the fireworks event from the Prince of the Dawn Wii game because I swear this game (along with Daughter of the Dusk) was made so that fans can have a go at some RoyAi (and EdWin, etc.) interactions. What’s really nice about these two games is they are both completely voiced so you can hear the characters speak the lines. You can hear Riza and Roy call each other by their first names.

There’s a mini dating sim part where you have to talk to the character you want to spend the fireworks show with. It’s adorable, but the damn game isn’t in English yet so I watched the playthrough by kaji on Nico Nico Douga instead. I swear, the guy is amazing and his voice-over comments are hilarious (plus he’s a RoyAi junkie, too!). He also did Fullmetal Alchemist: To the Promised Day, which is the source of the semi-canon RoyAi information I partially translated here.

The events in the game happens a few weeks (or months?) after Team Mustang was split up and Riza became the Führer’s aide. This part of the game is set in the Armstrong Mansion where a party was thrown in honor of the Aerugonian prince, Claudio, who was visiting Amestris. Please note that the events here may not be canon, but really, who cares? We all need more RoyAi in our lives anyway.

Please credit/mention my blog when you use the translation for your works. Thanks <3

WARNING: LONG POST AHEAD + POSSIBLE SPOILERS

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anonymous asked:

Hi! Can you please write 15 year old Sam that has self esteem issues and hurts himself and Dean finds out, freaks out, and just a lot of angsty fluff? Thank you!

Warning: Mentions of cutting, sorry if this is a sore subject.

Sam is the boy with forever bony knees. Sam is the boy with hand me down clothes. Sam is the nerdy boy with shaggy hair and eyes that change too much. Sam is the boy who will never have a girlfriend.

Sam is the boy with several cuts on each wrist and inner thigh. Sam is the boy who looks in the mirror and sees too skinny limbs, his bird chest nothing special.

Sam is the boy who is in love with his big beautiful brother.

“C'mon, baby boy!” Dean honks the horn when he sees Sam shuffling through the crowd.

Sam hangs his head as the girls begin to whisper about him. Because how could he be related to the boy with a hot car and even hotter eyes.

Sam shoves his way through a couple boys and he’s sure it’ll cost him a swirly on Monday, but its worth it to get to the car and climb in.

Dean lets out a happy yell as he speeds away from the curb.

Sam tries not to scratch at the fresh, precise cuts on his wrists under his baggy jacket and sweater as they drive along.

“Long day, baby?” Dean asks after sometime, letting a large hand squeeze Sam’s thigh.

He loves the way his fingers can close almost all the way around. It makes his cock twitch in his jeans thinking about how easy it is to handle Sam.

“Yeah, I’m tired,” the younger mumbles, looking out the window and scratching at his wrists.

“Well, Dad won’t be there when we get back and I’m gonna take a shower. Feel like taking one with me?” Dean smirks as they near the motel.

Sam almost squeaks out an excited yes before remembering the cuts on his thighs. Dean hadn’t let them do anything in the light of day unless they had a fair amount of clothes on or it was too quick for him to see Sam’s scars.

“I have a lot of homework,” Sam smiles lazily as they pull into the parking lot.

Dean groans as he shuts the car off, pouting as he moves across the seat to corner Sam’s body against the door.

“Dean, we’re in broad daylight, in the car!” Sam shrieks and gasps as Dean runs his hands under the boys baggy shirt, groaning at the soft skin of his lover.

He sucks at Sam’s neck as he pinches at his sensitive nipples, tweaking them just right so Sam arches against him.

“Oh, Dean. So good–ah!” Sam cries out and his head thunks back against the window.

“C'mere, baby boy. Sit in my lap, need you so bad,” Deans hoarse voice makes Sam’s body respond, letting his older brother drag him into his lap.

“But what if someone passes by,” Sam pants as Dean snatches his jacket off his smaller body.

He giggles when Dean takes off his shirt, but shudders and whimpers when a nipple is sucked on, pushing his chest forward for Dean and putting his arms around his neck.

Sam is now the boy who isn’t thinking as he sits half naked and ravished in Deans lap.

“Sam?” Deans voice is a whisper as his body goes tense.

“Yeah, yeah?” Sam snaps out of it and looks down to where Dean is gripping his arm, hard.

The cuts are still a deep, angry red. They stand out against his pale skin, the skin Dean worships whenever he needs or wants.

Sam is the boy who doesn’t know his skin is Deans skin. Now his hurt shall be Deans, hand in hand.

“Did you–did you…” Dean whispers in the silence.

Sam looks straight ahead where he can see a family van backing up into a space on the other side of the lot.


“Did I what, Dean?” His voice trembles.
“Did you want to die? Do you want to die?” Dean asks quietly, rubbing his thumbs along the scars.

It burns a little and Sam has to close his eyes against the wave of emotions, bringing his free hand to his mouth to keep in a sob as his body begins to shake.

“I–I never wanted to die, not really. I would never want to leave you, Dean,” Sam quivers, tears rolling down his face.

“But why, Sam? Why hurt yourself? Is this the only place?” Dean asks, more bass in his voice as he looks up.

“Dean,” Sam sobs, unable to lie and say no.

His older brother understands and he forces Sam onto his back and hands fumble with his jeans. Sam is raked with sobs as he tries to push Dean away, doesn’t want him to see what he’s done to himself. To the body Dean thought was so beautiful.

“Please, please. No, Dean, please don’t look,” Sam cries, sucking in deep breaths as Dean yanks the jeans from his body and the boxers, too.

Sam feels so bare and he closes his legs, his half hard cock and his balls trapped between his thighs. He doesn’t want to look down because he’ll see bony knees and scrawny limbs, not the beauty Dean sees. He’ll see how pathetic he looks trying to make himself look smaller and how stupid he is, how unsexy and unattractive he knows he is.

“God, Sam. Look at you, got cuts all between your thighs,” Dean whispers, prying his legs apart, spreading them wide.

Sam bites his lip against his sobs and the tears keep rolling down his face as he looks away, closing his eyes. But his scrawny chest betrays him, still heaving and jerking with his crying.

“Ssh, Sammy. Just let me…” Dean chokes as his fingers run over the scars along those creamy thighs.

He knew Sam had trouble seeing himself in the same light that he did, Sam thought he was too thin and small, too bony and ugly to be loved. But Dean loved his boy so much, too much to any on on the outside, but Dean loved him.

“I’m sorry. I just c-couldn’t,” Sam bites his lip again.

“Sorry you feel this way, Sammy. But I already told you you’re going to grow up to be big and still beautiful. Ladies and men all over you, I’ll have to fight them all off to keep you,” Dean kisses at the marks with shaking lips.

Sam is still racked with sobs, running shaky fingers through Deans short hair.

“But I won’t, Dean. You w-were already big and beautiful by my age,” Sam gasps for air.

Dean shushes him with soft kisses and gentle fingers. He cradles Sam against his chest, his brothers tears soaking into his skin and dripping their sorrow onto his soul.

Sam is the boy with a broken ego and fragile heart. Dean is the man with strong hands and an even stronger heart. He wants to be Dean, wants to be big and beautiful like the Sun, wants to be nurturing and strong like the Earth, needs to be rock solid like Dean.

“You should have came to me when you felt like that, I’m sorry you weren’t comfortable enough, Sammy. I should have noticed,” Dean kisses at the top of that brown, mop head of hair that he loves putting his hands through.

“I was scared that you’d think I was a freak,” Sam breaks, clenching Deans shirt tight in his hands till he hears the stitching start to break.

“Hey, hey, I would never think you were a freak, Sam. If you’re a freak, so am I,” Dean murmurs against Sam’s bitten, swollen lips.

Sam sniffles and nods. He’s probably a snotty mess. He’s still completely naked against Deans warm, clothed body. He doesn’t feel as vulnerable though. Just small and cared for as his older brother holds him.

“Just try not to cut yourself, Sammy. When you feel like that, bring me the razor, and put it against my skin. Would you cut me, Sam?” Dean asks, fingers trailing along the knobs of Sam’s spine.

“No! Never,” Sam gasps.
“Then don’t put it to your skin either, baby. You feel like a freak, then I’m a freak. You want to hurt yourself, well now you’re gonna have to hurt me too. I made a promise to not only myself, but to you that I’d take care of you,” Dean nods, green eyes filled with tears.

Sam starts crying for another reason now, throwing a bare leg over Deans hip. He probably sounds hysterically, kissing Deans lips and wetting them with his tears until Dean holds him tight and rocks him back and forth.

“We can be freaks together, Sammy.”

i have some good fic ideas for tg i would like to write about. i just never got around to write them, but i want to talk about them on here, so? here, have this.

- touriko concept: they both hang out at yoriko’s place. touka looks troubled (has too much on her mind, definitely over a boy), so to keep touka’s mind off of things, yoriko decides to strip down to her pantyhose and lacy underwear and starts dancing to songs w/ female vocalists. yoriko has a really nice city landscape of tokyo at her place, so she starts dancing around w/ her windows open in front of touka. as she moves her hips w/ a cup of wine, yoriko chants, “screw boys!”. this makes touka smile. while watching her dance, touka thinks, “if it wasn’t for her, my world would still be black and gray. i’m so glad she’s in my life, idk where i’d be without her.” after touka gets over her shyness, she eventually joins yoriko as well, and strips down to her lacy underwear and tit tapes haha. after dancing for a couple of songs, they end up laying down on the ground and start making out w/ each other.
-touriko concept: its past hours to visit the beach, but that doesn’t stop them from going, anyway. they rush to the beach, play around in the water w/ just in their underwear. they have a moment, and when they were about to have their first kiss, a cop conveniently spots them and ruins their moment. and they both grab for their clothes they had stripped down on the beach and make a run for it.
-hidekane concept: hide is standing in the balcony fully-clothed, smoking a cigar (coping mechanism for his past trauma) as he watches the sun rise. when he’s done, he turns around and smiles as he sees kaneki sleeping peacefully in his bed naked w/ his back exposed to him. hide promised himself to quit smoking cigarettes as he walks inside and starts giving kaneki a bunch of good morning kisses around his face, hair, neck, and all over his body. kaneki groans, and eventually wakes up. he starts kissing hide back and start making out w/ him. when it was time for hide to leave, and do his “morning job”, kaneki refuses to let go of him despite how awful hide’s breath stinks.
-hidekane concept: kaneki doesn’t know how to express love and show affection for another person. so hide guides him. they both end up having a movie night at hide’s place. their legs are crossed and hide eventually passes out on kaneki’s shoulder. kaneki notices this and carries hide to his bed. when kaneki was about to leave, hide reaches out for his hand and tells him to stay. they sleep together while holding hands. eventually, kaneki tells hide how much he wants to touch hide but doesn’t know how. so he tells hide to tell him what to do. so he does. hide tells him to “put his arms around his neck, give him kisses on his hair, forehead, nose, cheeks, down to his neck, and now on his lips” things like that. hide would wrap his arms comfortably around kaneki’s waist, and give him kisses of his own. when hide stops telling kaneki what to do (too preoccupied kissing him around his face), kaneki realizes how much he really likes this whole concept, so he tells hide to keep telling him what to do. hide spents all night guiding kaneki, and kaneki eventually figures out hide’s favorite parts to kiss at, and where he likes being touched at. and eventually, this led them to have passionate sex for the night.
-shuu/hide concept (tg verse w/ current events): shuu thinks he’s incapable of falling in love with someone. hide proves him wrong. there were nights where hide would make shuu dance w/ him to pop songs. and one night, shuu would break down crying in front of hide. he tells hide how unfair kaneki is treating him, and how his chest would sting whenever he sees him, but doesn’t know why. hide places shuu’s hand on hide’s chest, and tells him, “do you feel that? that’s love. it’s the same. what you’re feeling right now is love, and rejection.” for some reason, shuu doesn’t understand what hide is trying to say. other nights, hide would listen to shuu read to him. hide would absent mindedly begin to run his fingers through shuu’s hair, and cherish his neck and shoulders w/ the brush of his fingers. and shuu ends up liking this. he doesn’t tell hide to stop, so hide continues doing this. b/c of this, shuu starts craving for more, and he realizes he wants to spend more time w/ hide now compare to anyone else. shuu doesn’t know what to do w/ these feelings, why would he feel this way only when he’s around hide. so he tells hide one night about this (without telling hide it’s him who he’s feeling this for). after listening to him, hide tells him that he’s probably starting to like this person. shuu is shook. since that night, hide started to drift away from shuu. shuu doesn’t like this. now that he can put a word to these feelings, he comes to realize that these are the exact same feelings he once had for kaneki as well. he doesn’t know how to feel about this either, and he gradually understands what hide tried to say to him on that night he ended up crying in front of him. the sting on his chest was because his feelings were rejected. now that he’s become aware of hide. shuu started to realize the way hide would look at kaneki, and the way they would seem too close, and comfortable w/ each other for shuu’s comfort. shuu realizes that he’s starting to feel jealous. after jumping around for a while, hide & shuu officially became a couple.

brennahrae  asked:

Connor is super awkward when you get your period cuz he's never? Been in a relationship before? But he let's you wear his hoodie & lets you cuddle up to him & runs his fingers through your hair or rubs your tummy to help w/ cramps. & while he would roll his eyes if he had to go buy you pads/tampons or sweets he's actually very eager to get you anything that'll help you feel better cuz he hates when you're in pain. & if you're a cry-er he's super awkward & just kinda rubs your back while you cry

MHMMM GOOD SHIT RIGHT HERE THIS HITS THE SPOT THANK YOU LOVE

but like I see him being awkward to start off with but then??? he kinda eases into it??? Because oh hell here you are and you need him for something and holy damn he feels loved and important???

A good boy. A precious boy.

Frames...Part 9

part 9 of frames whenever you can lovely 💗

I can most certainly do this one!  Here is the last part of Frames.  If you feel an epilogue is necessary, let me know…otherwise, here it is, comin’ ‘atcha!

(Part 1  Part 2  Part 3  Part 4  Part 5  Part 6  Part 7  Part 8  Epilogue)


45 minutes later you had pulled up to your home, heaving a heavy sigh as you sniffle hard, wiping the last of your tears from your eyes as you shut your car down.

Turning off the lights and sitting in your driveway, you lean your head back as you think back on all of the things that had traversed the past few weeks.

Your divorce.

Your failures.

Your comforts.

Spencer…

You had to call Spencer.

Grabbing your go-bag and heaving yourself out of the driver’s side door, you start up the walkway to your home as a looming figure stands up from the porch swing in front of your house.

Stopping in your tracks as your heart speeds up, the man steps out into the moonlight, his worried-stricken features draping themselves in the glow of the nighttime as your lips part, your brow furrowed heavily as your hand lets go of your bag, dropping it on the pavement at your side.

“Uh…hey there, Y/N,” Spencer says.

As you feel your eyes widen, your jaw begins to tremble as you sprint towards him, throwing your arms around his neck as he braces his body for your impact, throwing his arms around your waist as you dig your face into the crook of his neck.

“Oh, my god…” you sob.

“Sssshhh…” he coos, rubbing your back reassuringly as he fights back tears of his own, “Ssssshhhhh…”

“Spencer…I’m so…I’m sor-”

“It’s alright, Y/N,” he breathes, a hand removing itself from your back and coming up to your hair, smoothing it back as your chest heaves and hoes, your sobs soaking his shoulder as he holds you close.

“Please forgi-”

But your sentiment was cut off by your body-wracking sobs, your legs trembling underneath you as Spencer grips on to you tightly, moving the both of you towards the porch swing as he sits you down, dropping his messenger bag off to the side as he sits down close to you, his legs slowly rocking the swing back and forth as you curl into him, your head in his lap with your knees at your stomach.

“Ssshhh…” he coos, running his fingers through your hair as you swing slowly on your porch.

“Spencer..w-wh…what I-I-I did wa-”

“It’s in the past, Y/N,” Spencer reassures.

Gulping back more sobs as you feel Spencer’s left hand trail down your arm, he finds your hand as he interlocks his fingers with yours, his touch warm and comforting as you bring his fingers to your chapped lips, kissing them lightly as you sniffle hard, your salty residue making its way onto his knuckles.

“Calm down…everything is alright,” he coos, his voice steady and unwavering, despite the worry ebbing and flowing throughout his system.

He knew that he loved you.

He knew that he always would.

And as he sits there on the porch swing, swaying back and forth in the nighttime breeze as you sob in his lap, he closes his eyes as silent tears run down his cheeks, his heart aching for your smile as you soak his lap in your sorrows.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I feel like such an idiot,” you breathe as you chuckle, bringing the lo mein noodles to your mouth as you take a gargantuan bite.

“Please don’t feel that way,” Spencer says as he takes a bite of his chicken.

“It’s just embarrassing.  I’ve never broken down that way in front of anyone,” you admit.

“Well, I’m sure you did with your ex,” he says, trying to brush off the statement.

But as your eyes hesitantly flicker up to his from the kitchen table, his breath hitches in his throat as he furrows his brow.

“You mean…never?” he asks incredulously.

“Nope,” you say, shaking your head as you take another bite.

“W-why…why not?” Spencer stammers.

“It just never felt…comfortable.  Or right, I guess,” you breathe.

Spencer couldn’t help but inwardly smile.

“Well, I’m glad you felt comfortable enough with me to let go like that.  Everyone needs someone they can do that with.”

“Exactly,” you say, taking a sip of your beer, “I mean, you’re supposed to be able to do these things with a spouse, and I just never…could…with him.”

“I’m sorry,” Spencer offers, taking another bite of his chicken.

“Don’t be.  That chapter is behind me…” you trail off.

Spencer could sense that there was something more.

“What’s up?” he asks, his eyes dancing over your face as he reaches for his drink.

“I just-” you start.

“Yes…?” Spencer urges.

“I just can’t help but get the feeling that maybe…I was cheating on him,” you say lowly.

As Spencer furrows his brow, you shake your head and backtrack.

“I mean, not physically.  But…I think maybe I ended up finding someone in this move that, I don’t know…connected with me better than he and I did.  And I can’t help but think that maybe I started to compare how he made me feel to how this…this other guy…made me feel.”

Spencer could feel his heart stopping inside of his chest.

“W-w-…what guy?  I-I-I mean…does the team know him?” he stammers.

“Yeah.  Yeah the team knows him.  It’s why I tried so hard to keep it under wraps.  I didn’t want anyone calling me out on it.  I wasn’t at a point where I had sorted out my issues with my ex, and the last thing I wanted was for the team’s “advice” to be flying around my head,” you say.

“Understandable,” Spencer says as he clears his throat, reaching for another long pull of his drink.

“Well…do you uh, think you might tell him?  I mean, if you still feel that way?” Spencer asks.

“Well…honestly?  I was hoping he already knew.”

As your gaze flutters up to his, your eyes locking onto each other for the first time that evening, you watch as Spencer’s gaze dances from your lips to your eyes, his chest moving slightly quicker as he tries to regulate his breathing.

“Spencer…?” you ask hesitantly.

“Yeah?” he breathes.

“You do know…don’t you?” you ask sheepishly, your eyes flooded with worry and hesitancy as a breathless smile crosses his face.

“Yes,” he says as he reaches out and takes your hand, squeezing it reassuringly, “I do know that you’re in love with Morgan.”

“Spencer!” you squeal, swatting at him playfully as he laughs and reaches to take another bite of his food.

“Dick,” you mutter, shooting him a sly grin as you swirl your noodles around your fork.

“I love you, Y/N,” Spencer says.

As your stare shoots up to his, it was your turn for your breath to hitch in your throat.

“I have since you started working here.  That second case we worked with the missing children, you were the only one that didn’t protest when I took off my FBI vest.”

“That’s because I had my sights trained on that sonofabitch,” you mutter.

“And when I hunkered down into the puzzles in the 7th case we worked, all you did was bring me food and drinks, not once trying to break my trance like everyone else,” he states.

“You were engrossed.  I get that,” you retort.

“You understand me in a way the team never has, and probably never will.  But you were married, and I felt guilty, so I tried to suppress it the best that I could.  But you’re just…”

“…magnetic?” you finish his statement.

“Yeah,” he breathes, nodding, “yeah…magnetic.”

“Spencer?” you ask.

“Mhm?” he murmurs, a mouthful of rice as you smirk at his full cheeks.

“I’m not ready to hop back into a relationship,” you state.

Watching him swallow hard, you study his face as he wipes his mouth off on a napkin.

“I know,” he states.

“I just.  My ex and I took it so fast.  I mean, from the time we met until the time we married was only a 9 month span, and there were so many things we never got to do while we were dating, and I just don’t want to make the same mistakes.”

“I…know…” Spencer enunciates, reaching out and taking your hand again, this time interlocking your fingers as he smiles at you.

“All I’m asking is to help you recuperate.  It’s a process, and as long as you understand the page I’m sitting on with you, I’ll help in any way I can.”

Feeling the tears well in your eyes again, you freely allow them to fall as Spencer’s hand moves from yours to your face, his fingertips gliding across your skin as he wipes them away.

“All I ask is that if there ever comes a moment where you realize that you can’t love me, for whatever reason, that you’ll tell me,” he says.

“Spencer, that’ll never happen,” you say, shaking your head.

“I’m serious,” he says, dropping his hand and hooking onto your gaze, “I love you.  Deeply and desperately.  And I’ll never push you into anything you don’t want.  But if you find that you don’t want me in that regard, you have to tell me.  So I can heal and move on.”

“I promise,” you whisper, your voice trembling and your heart aching at the mere idea of not ever loving Spencer.

Bringing your hand to your heart as your chest begins to heave, you find yourself short of breath as your mouth gapes open, your eyes filling to the brim with gumdrop tears as you push out from the table, Spencer’s arms flying to you as he bends down into your view.

“I don’t…I don’t…”

Shaking your head furiously as Spencer rises the both of you to your feet, he wraps you up tight and holds you close, your hands and legs trembling furiously as your sobs squelch the English language from your throat.

“Oh, god…” you moan, feeling Spencer pull you back as he dips down into view.

“Talk to me,” he urges.

“I don’t…oh, god, Spencer, I don’t ever want to live my life without you.”

And as you wrap your hands into his shirt, pulling him towards you as his lips melt into yours, you feel his arms wrap tightly around your back as your legs give out underneath you, your back arching as you tilt your head, your hands flying to his hair as you hang on for dear life, your teeth clattering together as your tongues attempt to taste every ounce of one another through that one orifice.

“You never will,” he breathes into your mouth, your moan being swallowed up by him as he pulls you up, his hands grasping your ass as your weakened legs loosely lock around his waist.

“You never will,” he whispers, his lips murmuring against yours as your eyes flutter open, the sight of his hazel ones causing you to smile as he dips his head into the crook of your neck, breathing a sigh of relief as you wrap your arms welcomingly around his neck.

You lived for this man.

You breathed this man.

And you were going to spend the rest of your life doing what it took to keep him.