*runs bc if i ever do that im a dead woman*

I’M GONNA DO A QUICK LIL INTRODUCTION HERE SISTERS! bc i’m lame and new!!! well i’m not new to the fandom etc but this is a fresh blog and this is the first time i’ve ever posted my writings anywhere for the general public (who happens to be searching for harry styles smut) can read it and I’M GEEKIN TBQH!! anyway, hi hello – i have a name, but im gonna let u guys call me T, even tho my name starts w H. H would get too confusing should this work out the way i’m hoping it will! so i’m T. and i like writing and harry styles and so i thought i, along with everyone i scream about H to in the wee hours of the night, would probably find it beneficial if i had blog where i could do that and ppl who actually want to read about how i want him to spit in my mouth! i’ve been a silent lurker of the tags for awhile now (shoutout to @stylesunchained, @permanentcross, @jawllines, @canistay-haz for the inspo behind me finally making this godforsaken blog) (please be my friend) (i’m very intimidated by all of u). so yeah i hope this works out, and if not then it was fun to share this little bit of a something with all of u! and if it does then i’ll likely post a pt 2 to this!  if u like it like/reblog if ur into the kinda thing ig :) also my praise kink is jsut as alive as harrys and my ask box is always open to discuss either one <3

“Pet,” he starts, and you smile, because after a long moment of just standing there and listening to each other breathe, you hear the familiar nickname and know you’ve got him back. “You are the meanest, most stubborn, woman ’ve ever met. Got a bloke full on puttin’ himself out there in front ‘f thousands, ‘nd you run away. Same bloke tells ya’ exactly what he means even after that, 'nd ya’ tell me I don’t mean it?” He murmurs, just loud enough for you to hear it. “Tell me how I can prove it to ya’,” he adds before you can get another word in, and he seems to already have a good idea, because his nose is brushing against yours already, but you quickly figure out that it’s going to take you asking for it before he does it, because Harry’s humble, but he has his pride, and you doubt he needs you fucking with it anymore tonight.

“’M going to start screaming if you don’t kiss me in the next three seconds,” you state, and he’s laughing as he presses his lips to yours, his hand cupping your cheek, and it’s gentle and soft and everything you ever imagined kissing Harry for the first time would be like.

And that’s how you die.


Harry’s your best friend and then you realize a lot of things, mostly that you’re an idiot

7k+, smut, overuse of the word ‘because’

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anonymous asked:

expand a bit on that au I'm curious

im very glad at least one person cares

  • ok so retail drug store AU!! im 100% shamelessly basing this off of my own job
  • about 1/3 of the store is cosmetics, skincare, bath & beauty, etc. the rest is pharmacy, OTC, food, and other general drug store stuff
  • have u seen drake’s video for ‘started from the bottom’? thats where i fuckin work

this is really long. im sorry


  • allura owns the store. she’s also the head pharmacist
  • which is always the owner of the store
  • in a permanent state of “my employees are fucking incompetent i should fire them” but never does only reprimands them
  • the cameras in the store show her everything thats happening she has a big screen that show all of the 24 areas. sometimes when shes bored and it’s slow she’ll sit there and watch the employees 
  • she calls lance several times and tells him to stop fucking around bc he’ll just be hanging around the front cash bugging the fuck out of keith and pidge and hunk, if he’s there
  • theres a betting pool w the staff on when she and shiro are finally going to hook up
  • she deals with customer complaints when shiro isn’t around; a lot of customers see her pretty face and think she’ll be lenient on them , but oh boy. ohhh boy are they wrong
  • she’ll fuckin shred em
  • she’s stern but a very kind and understanding boss


  • coran is one of the front store managers (meaning he’s one of the managers of everything that isn’t pharmacy and cosmetics).
  • he’s also the product receiver
  • has to do a lot of cycle counts and damage reports bc customers drop things, especially cosmetic things, so often
  • its expensive
  • permanently stressed
  • jokes around a lot
  • will come check up on employees and see if they’re working or not
  • usually doesn’t do much if they’re not
  • just tells them to get to work but like doesnt actually do anyhing about it
  • one time he walked into the cosmetics department and saw lance giving hunk an impromptu makeover and said “dont do that on store time!” but lance offered to give him one too so coran was like ‘oh yes’ and never actually gave lance shit
  • very smart and suggests a lot of ways to improve customer service, ignores keith whenever he says ‘or we could not do that’
  • VERY protective of the staff, will fight anyone who treats them poorly


  • shiro is the head front store manager, meaning he’s above coran but below allura
  • (fs managers wear blue collared long sleeve shirts and ties. pciture shiro wearing that. thank u for ur time)
  • the store is severely understaffed so shiro is permanently stressdt
  • because he’s the one that deals with hiring and raises and wages and whatnot
  • is literally the Team Dad™ and the employees go to him a lot when they have issues/are being harrassed by a customer
  • since they cant tell customers to fuck off they get shiro to do it instead bc shiro is the manager and can do what he wants
  • (shiro never tells customers to fuck off. not explicitly. he’s too kind for that. hes very good at subtly telling them off though. kindly.)
  • takes naps in allura’s office a lot 
  • is also in charge of what products get brought in
  • wants to go for a yearlong nap when lance and pidge keep suggesting all these weird sex toys and lubes
  • “look at this thing it looks like a BANANA shiro can you bring it in i’m gonna fucking sell this to that cranky ass old dude–” “NO, pidge, we are not bringing in a banana sex toy. jesus christ.”
  • “YOOOO I’D GET A THIRTY PERCENT DISCOUNT ON THIS LUBE ITS STRAWBERRY FLAVOUREDO OOHH” “i dont want to hear about your sex life, lance.”
  • no one knows how tf he got his scar or lost his arm but everyone always asks if he can robot punch the dick customer in the face and shiro always has to firmly tell them that’s rude and also, no, but only because theyd get fined


  • hunk is the best merchandiser (stock person basically, the ones putting products out and whatnot)
  • often climbs the shelves in the receiving room bc although he doesnt look it hes super nimble 
  • the toilet paper is always on the top shelf and customers always want it bc its always on sale so hunk is perpetually climbing the shelves
  • sometimes he gets stuck up there and isnt let down until shiro hears him screaming, sometimes hours later
  • shiro leaves him in charge of signage and sale tickets which is fine bc hunk always bums off half of them to lance (who always whines bc he has enough to do in cosmetics which is a lie because theres nothing happening there ever)
  • deals with a lot of shit in general
  • “are you sure you dont have any more of this in the back?” “well ma’am, you see, this thing here” (handheld device) “tells me we have zero in stock, so, like, yeah. im sure” 
  • has a small crush on one of the regular customers called shay, who will hang around and talk to him until shiro comes around the corner and says “Get back to work”
  • whenever he sees one of his coworkers being bothered by a customer he’ll come up and very cheerfully say “can i help you??” as said coworker makes a break for it
  • a VERY hard worker, always gets compliments from customers and even hugs sometimes from the regulars
  • always brings in cookies or donuts he baked and leaves them in the staff room for everyone to share; they always tell him to quit his job and open a bakery
  • hunk flushes and beams but would never leave this shit hole of a place, he says
  • spends like 70% of the time he’s in the receiving room dancing and singing loudly along with the radio, pidge joins him sometimes
  • so does lance and theyll play impromptu basketball with garbage and empty boxes
  • dabs at lance when he sees him across the store


  • pidge is the cash supervisor meaning theyre the one who deals with counting the safe, covering breaks, and dealing with customers when shiro, allura and coran have gone home
  • since the managers usually dont work night shifts, pidge is in charge almost every night from 2pm to close, at midnight
  • literally dead inside, makes jokes about it a lot
  • “hey pidge can you bring me a roll of toonies when you have the chance?” “sure, keith, i’m not doing anything anyway, only taking care of this entire fucking store on my own and wanting to die” “same” “nice”
  • will enter the staff room and announce “i hate my fucking life” and do a shot of chocolate milk
  • the tills crash a lot, and pidge gets at least 6 calls a day from lance especially because the tills are shit in the cosmetics department
  • “my cash crashed again” “just fucking leave it lance i dont give a shit” “i have customers” “okay ill come reboot it but only because youll cry if i dont” “Thanks pidge love u” (pidge has hung up already)
  • very small but always ready to fight
  • will literally tell a customer to eat a dick if they deserve it
  • one old guy was harrassing keith because he didnt have enough lottery tickets and keith was trying to remain polite (which he sucks at) and pidge came up and said “sir kindly calm down or leave this store immediately and dont come back”
  • covers lance’s breaks, since the department cant be unattended, and will shout across the store when they see lance stopping at front cash on the way back to flirt with keith
  • got called “she” after specifying they want “they” pronouns multitple times, and then refused to serve the customer again


  • is that stereotypical cashier that literally wants to die
  • “hi welcome to quiznak did you find everything you were looking for?” *customer bitches about sale prices and blames keith as though he personally chose the price* “okay”
  • its always dead from 7pm to midnight so he’ll just stand there and read a book, and pidge will be like “u cant do that” and keith will be like “too bad” and pidge is like “tru”
  • has stupid competitions with lance, will often compete with him for Worst Customer Ever Stories
  • lance: “this woman told me i shouldnt work in cosmetics because im a guy!! what kind of bullshit!! i didnt give her free samples” keith, flatly: “a man yelled at me for five minutes solid because we don’t sell duracell batteries and then threw his empty coffee cup at me and walked away”
  • the uniform is a short sleeved t shirt but keith always wears a black shirt underneath it and no one cares enough to stop him
  • he also wears his skinny jeans instead of work slacks but again no one cares
  • this pleases keith because he knows his ass looks great in those jeans, and he knows lance stares at it from across the store
  • gay
  • actually has terrible apathy and poor social etiquette and is bad at reading social cues which hes working on with shiro’s help
  • a customer sadly said “i lost my husband” and keith blankly says “did you find him” and shiro, who’s there for whatever reason, gives him a pained look, until keith says “oh god im so sorry i didnt realise oh god”
  • when its really slow and pidge is on cash he’ll leave to go “straighten up” the aisles but hes actually going to visit lance in the cosmetics department bc arguing with lance is fun
  • literally doesnt care about makeup or skincare but lance does and keith thinks its cute
  • if theres no customers pidge will get on the PA and say GAYYY for the whole store to hear
  • hunk will join in from the receiving


  • okay so im a cosmetician so this is entirely based off of my experience
  • lance is one of the only cosmeticians. there are 4 running the entire department. lance suffers everyday. he might as well be the fucking manager
  • knows so much about skincare that it’s lowkey terrifying. has amazing skin. “Whats your secret???” asks a customer. lance will never reveal. (its glycolic peels and a good moisturiser)
  • also is incredible at eyeliner, gives shiro a run for his money
  • “youre a guy why are you working in cosmetics” “because im beautiful”
  • the cosmetician uniforms are all black, long sleeve blazers and black pants. lance looks really good because he’s tall and slim, and pidge always tells him what a gay look it is
  • “im BI, pidge” “i know but its a gay look because its a GOOD look”
  • its always fucking HOT in the cosmetics department because its far away from the freezers and the lights for the makeup make the entire dpt like a sauna
  • lance will cry about it at any given time. he BEGS allura to change the AC settings but she never does
  • goes to front cash to steal bags a lot because they run out a lot at cosmetics but mostly actually goes to say some kind of pickup line to keith, or to whatever cute girl is waiting in keith’s line (earning himself a savage glare)
  • always has makeup swatches up and down his arms and all over his hands and smudges on his cheeks; somehow still looks flawless, and he knows it
  • shamelessly applies makeup in the middlle of his shift, earning himself calls from allura and shiro telling him to work andstop doing that
  • he doesnt stop
  • when hes bored hell leave the department and go hang out with hunk in the back for like a half hour and claim he was printing signs when asked
  • “i may hate my job and want to die most of the time, but at least i look good” *finger guns* *keith rolling his eyes*
  • a pretty girl or cute boy enters the department looking for a consultation and lance flirts the whole time, partially because hes a flirty dude, and partially because he KNOWS it’ll up his sales. also he likes making people smile.
  • makes faces at keith from across the store when keith is standing at his cash looking like a zombie. keith responds and they have an ugly face contest


  • after close, pidge, hunk, and lance will grab the trolleys and race down the aisles, often crashing into shelves or each other. keith joins sometimes and fucking slaughters them all
  • allura: i should fucking fire you all
American Beauty - Jerome Valeska x reader


Synopsis: Jerome Finally meets His Idol.

A/N: This is super cringy im sorry in advance. 

Part One - Part Two - Part Three 

Jerome had watched you grow - From the first time he saw you in the ad on TV for a cute little princess toy, He’d been obsessed. You’d grown into a beautiful young woman, long, Flowing (H/C) hair, and it made his day when he saw you on TV.

But that was then, and now Jerome is a criminally insane escaped inmate of Arkam Asylum, and you would probably run for the hills if you saw him. Although, it was worth a shot, right?

Thats why now, he stands on the balcony to your penthouse. Smiling as he watches your slender form sleep. He presses his fingers against the door, Grinning when he finds it opening at the light amount of force. He stepped inside His inner fanboy was screeching, dying to have a real look around, but he knew that was something he shouldnt do. Not now anyway.

He silently glided over to your Queen sized bed, Leaning over your form, grinning when he saw you.

Your skin was flawless - Hair just as shiny as it always was, Splayed out behind you and over your face. To Jerome, you were perfect. A godess.

He freaked out when your eyes opened, though you simply stared up at him, cocking your head in confusion.

He stared back at you, his mouth twitching into a smile - Not his ususl evil seeming smile, But a genuine and kind smile.

You, on the other hand, were slightly frightened. You knew who this boy was, Jerome Valeska, age 18, killed his Mother, and had escaped Arkham. Yet, The pang of fear was simply because you didnt want to die, and it melted away with his smile.

You smiled back, Sitting up and keeping your sheets close. You whispered out a small ‘Hi’ and received the same. That, was the start of a beautiful friendship.

Keep reading


Originally posted by jackandjael

  • first off, yuygeom is a demon
  • jk jk he’s a lil shit but he is a form of spirit and demons are also technically spirits too, tho he isn’t one
  • yugyeom is a… special spirit
  • most spirits are kind of tied to something you know? and the most popular are elemental spirits and whatnot
  • well yugyeom is tied to a messed up ouija board
  • basically, somehow, he is now connected to this damn board and no matter how hard you try, the only spirit you can talk to is him and the only spirit you can summon is him
  • this board is sitting in an antique shop so yugyeom has been kinda dormant for a while
  • but one day, you come in
  • you were dared by your friends to get a ouija board so you could communicate with ghosts
  • if you could make it happen and record the experience, you’d pass
  • you hate your friends now
  • the number one thing you’re scared of is channelling a demon or some malevolent spirit or what the heck ever so knowing that there’s a good chance you will just. damn
  • what’s worse is that they requested you purchase a real one, aka an old one bc apparently that makes it all the more serious i guess
  • when you come into the fourth antique shop that day and spot it, you’re at the register and getting it rung up in record time
  • the little old lady who runs the place is super sweet and mentions how the board had been there since she was a teenager, and that many had bought it but many had taken it back, saying it was faulty
  • of course you’re intrigued and also this is your life on the line so you’re like what??
  • she giggles and is like “its kinda funny but apparently people are only able to communicate with one spirit using this board. i’ve heard he’s harmless but i should warn you, in case you were hoping to speak with your dead grandmother or something”
  • you raise your eyebrow but bid the old woman ado and head off home, ready to get this shit over with
  • at least if the spirit is “friendly” then you have nothing to worry about
  • your family is out so you head up to your room and pull out the board, dropping it onto your bed before you get everything ready, propping your phone up to record you as you begin
  • You do everything you’re supposed to, and then you go, “is anyone there?”
  • you’re expecting the planchette to move or better yet do nothing, so hopefully you can get this over with
  • and then
  • poof
  • you scream when a (admittedly handsome) teenage boy suddenly appears before you, legs crossed and his face in his palm as his eyes stay closed 
  • once you’ve finished screaming, the boy slowly opens his eyes and murmurs, “hey”
  • you’re not sure what to say
  • this is the only spirit you can talk to? dont the spirits usually stay in the board and talk through that? why did it appear in front of you like this, and bored looking nonetheless?
  • you blink for a bit, unsure of what to do next when the spirit sighs “if you’re not gonna ask me any questions, can you end the session? i was having a good dream”
  • “spirits dream?” you ask him, and his eyes rise to lock with yours before he shrugs “something like that. any who, what’s up? im yugyeom”
  • you tell him your name reluctantly, and he simply nods, thinking you’re about to ask him all the usual questions like “will i get married to (insert heartthrob here)?” ”will i ever get rich?” “who’s gonna win the Super Bowl?”
  • but then you go “my… my friends dared me to do this. t-to call a spirit and ask you some questions, so… um… why dont witches ride their brooms when they’re angry?”
  • yugyeom’s interest is piqued and he sits up, thinking long and hard to answer, “because… road rage?”
  • you giggle nervously, looking at the list of things your friends forced you to ask him “so they don’t fly off the handle”
  • you’re not expecting yugyeom to find it as funny as he does but he’s bent over laughing like you’ve told the best joke he’s ever heard
  • “tell me more!” he demands, eyes alight and all the boredom wiped off his face
  • quickly, you start listing off jokes from the top of your head, all of them tickling him in one way or another
  • you don’t even realize that your phone has died of battery or that it’s suddenly gotten late until you turn to grab your phone and see the moon high in the sky
  • “oh, i didn’t think we talked that long… I dont even think they’ll see you show up on camera”
  • “they won’t, but i can help you make it look like you did the dare, and prank them too”
  • you furrow your eyebrows and listen in and he grins, telling you to charge your phone and that you’ll find out soon
  • ten minutes later, you’re sat with the phone before you and the board out, yugyeom having disappeared from sight
  • he’s told you to ask the questions they’ve given you, and he’ll do the rest
  • once you’ve finished telling the first lame joke they’ve given you, the pillow on your bed flies across the room and starts hovering over your head, and its so unexpected that you react pretty well for the camera
  • yugyeom is grinning above you, having appeared above you with a finger raised to his lips
  • you have to bite your lip to keep from laughing as you continue to ask questions, and in response he makes the planchette move and gives you weird answers like “haunted horse party” or all out flips the board to appear like an angry spirit
  • he shuts off the recording in the middle of making it hover “in thin air”, and you’ve got your elaborate prank
  • “this is the most fun I’ve had in years” yugyeom laughs
  • “im gonna have to thank that old lady when i return the board”
  • you’re pretty surprised to see yugyeom’s expression turn sad and he just kinda pouts at you like a kicked puppy
  • you feel bad instantly
  • “you… can’t you keep me- i mean, the board? i promise im fun to talk to!! ill never possess you or anything… unless you want to be possessed by a spirit then i’ll definitely make sure we make a fair deal or something-” “yugyeom i can keep the board calm down” 
  • hes so happy and tells you that if you ever need someone to talk to you or whatever you can just take out the board and talk to him
  • you’re kinda surprised that you’ve unintentionally made friends with a spirit but hey, he’s cute and he’s almost definitely not going to kill you
  • so this goes on for a while
  • you lock yourself into the privacy of your room and take out the board and honestly you and yugyeom just hang
  • he tells you about all of the weird experiences he’s had with people who try to channel him and you sometimes use him to spook your friends bc its pretty funny ngl
  • he makes you into a lil shit too
  • sometimes you just open the ouija board and let him follow you around the house
  • he’ll bother your family, move things onto high shelves, take things and hide them in new places, and overall just entertain himself
  • you accidentally left the board open once and when a guy in your class came over to study he spent the whole time tugging on the guy’s gelled hair
  • when the guy went to the bathroom, yugyeom snuck in and made fog appear on the mirror before he wrote for him to “get lost or get possessed”
  • needless to say that guy ran away from your house and never talked to you again
  • “i dont like that guy” “oh wow, i didn’t notice with how you repeatedly whispered in my ear ‘i dont like this guy’”
  • technically, if you keep the ouija board open, yugyeom can go anywhere with you, but only so far or the connection gets kinda weak
  • so sometimes you take a backpack and open the board inside when you go places and you want him to be there with you
  • one time you took the board with you to a horror movie and sat it up in the seat next to you and people thought you were crazy but yugyeom was right next to you making fun of the fake ghosts
  • one time you’re really curious so you go “yugyeom, has anyone ever tried to release you?”
  • yugyeom is pretty shocked that you’ve asked and tells you that no, no one has ever cared abt him enough to stick around after the first few sessions, let alone to release him from the board altogether
  • you decide that you’ve formed a pretty strong relationship with yugyeom so you offer to let him out
  • yugyeom is really apprehensive and you are too bc obviously its dangerous and he doesn’t know what will happen to him if he is released
  • will people see him? will he inhabit something else? will he live a normal life or remain a spirit?
  • “i’d… think i’d like that. but i can’t promise that everything will go right afterwards”
  • you know, you’ve known for a while, but you want to try for him
  • you can’t help daydreaming of being with him in other ways bc he’s so sweet and really cares for you
  • he knows you so well its kind of crazy
  • you’ve even caught yourself day dreaming about kissing those pretty lips every time he laughs, or whispers in you ear late into the night
  • the fact that he has no problem being close and intimate with you already leaves you pretty flustered as it is
  • you’ve grown impossibly attached to this goofy spirit and if you can free him from the board, you’d love to
  • the only thing is that the only way to free his spirit from the board is to break it
  • either you’d free him or you’d lose him forever, and that’s what scares you
  • you make up your mind and summon him to get his permission, and when he gives you the go ahead with a shaky smile, you snap it in half with all your might
  • its silent afterwards
  • you don’t feel yugyeom’s warm presence like usual
  • you call out his name softly, sadly, thinking that you’ve done it and lost his spirit forever
  • your hands hold the broken pieces of the board and you’re moved near to tears now, knowing you’ve messed up for real and you’d never see yugyeom again
  • then two warm arms wrap around you from behind and you flinch, eyes wet as you turn to observe who’s there, and you smile when you make eye contact with yugyeom
  • hes grinning at you too, but something feels,,, off
  • its not like his usual, carefree smiles
  • his canines look a little sharper
  • his grip feels a little rougher
  • his lips a little more red than soft pink
  • his arms tighten that much more around your middle and you blink, your smile faltering as he says nothing
  • “y-yugy?” you ask softly, and you watch as his grin melts into something of a smirk
  • the smirk is different too bc unlike his usual playful smirks after he’s scared you coming out of the bathroom or pulled a successful prank on someone, it’s hidden with intentions you’ve never seen on him
  • it doesn’t fit the yugyeom you know
  • “you know… when they tell you not to play with spirits, you should probably listen” he says, his pupils glinting a blood red as his fingernails, no, claws dig into your hips
  • your hands shake as he twists you around, shoving you up against the nearest wall as one of his hands encircles your wrist and the other grasps your chin
  • you’re nearly shitting your pants at this point, staring at who you once thought was the kind, caring spirit that you’d grown to love
  • he leans in impossibly close, taking up all the air in your lungs as his breath fans across your lips 
  • his tongue glides out, licking his lips slowly before he whispers teasingly against your trembling mouth
  • “they might just be demons in disguise”
  • remember when i said he wasn’t a demon :)))) i lied

other ghost!got7



imaginary friend!mark



It’s Going to be Okay

Request: I’ve got a request, you’re the Winchesters sister (older than Sam but younger than Dean) and she sold her soul when she was about 16 to save John, she didn’t tell anybody and 10 years later the hellhounds come to get her, she tries to be alone when she dies but it kinda failed and the boys have to see it happen (I hope it’s not too much information!)

Word Count: 2818

Warnings: some swearing, a little bit gorey when she’s getting ripped to shreds by the hellhounds, just a heads up I almost made myself cry

A/N: ok so heads up I made myself want to curl up into a ball and die on the floor so im almost sorry for writing this but I couldn’t help myself its probably not even that emotional but still and whatever you do make sure that you do not listen to Brother by NEEDTOBREATHE bc I did and now im dead wow im making such a big deal out of this its probably because its like 1am but still
I hope this is what you wanted and sorry that it came out so late, but I just kind of got caught up in other stuff and couldn’t think of what to write soo yeah (btw I got the info for how to treat stab wounds from here and here should you guys ever feel the urge to know what to do in these scenarios)

I reposted this because some people had difficulties getting access to this. Hopefully it works. hmu if not!

“Dad!” Y/N heard Dean scream as the werewolf snuck behind John. She watched as the blade sank into his stomach, one hand stifling his grunt of pain.

“No,” she whispered. “No!” Quickly, she shot the monster in the back, running over to where Dean was trying to support his father.

“Y/N,” he snapped. “Bring the car around back. We’re taking him back to the motel and stitching him back up. Go,” he added when she didn’t move.
Nodding slowly, she ran to the impala. Not wasting any time, she swung open the door and opened the driver’s door. She had to hurry, had to be fast. They could fix dad, he’d be fine. Otherwise…


He’d be fine.

“Open the back door,” he grunted, helping his father to the car. “Sit back there with him. I’m going to drive.”

Quickly they moved, wary of the precious time they had left. Y/N had barely sat down on the seat beside John when the car lurched forward. She gasped, closing the car door and glaring at Dean.

“Y/N,” her father’s voice sounded pained. She checked the wound. It was bad. “Y/N.”

“Yeah?” she responded, not paying much attention to his words. She was too busy trying to figure out what to do while they were driving.

“Don’t…” he coughed. “Don’t let the boys do anything stupid, okay?”

“You’re going to have to hold me to that,” she grunted, ripping off her flannel to use it to stop the blood flow. “You’re not dying on me. Not now.”

“Y/N-” he tried again.

“Dean,” she interrupted. “Step on it. He’s bleeding through everything I can give him.”

“Got it.” The car accelerated, blurring the lights of passing storefronts and homes as they sped towards the motel.

Y/N closed her eyes, pre-planning the next steps. She’d have to first get him inside without shifting him so he’d bleed harder, and then find gauze to stop the bleeding. Once that was finished, she’d clean the wound, sterilize it, and-

“Y/N!” Dean called back to her. “We’re here. Get Sam!” Y/N scrambled to get out of the car, racing inside.

“Y/N?” Sam asked, standing up from his position on the bed. “What-”

“Dad’s hurt,” Dean interrupted, half-carrying him through the door. “Y/N, what do we do?” Sam and Dean looked to her, awaiting orders. She had always been the one to stitch them all back up, even when she herself was injured. It was like they all had a role: Dad was the leader; Dean was the soldier who made sure all the orders were carried out; Sammy did the research; and Y/N was the medic. Together, they kicked ass.

Until now.

“Y/N!” Dean yelled at her, shaking her from her thoughts. “What do we do?”

“Lay him down on the bed,” she ordered. “Sam, apply pressure. Dean, sterilize it. Do not touch the knife. Leave it in. It’s stopping most of the blood flow, and any movement could cause further damage.”

They all scrambled in haste to attend her orders. She tore his clothes to further inspect his wound.

“Y/N,” John coughed. She immediately shoved a pillow beneath his head. “Y/N, remember what I said-”

“No,” she said sternly, looking him in the eye. “You are not dying. I am not becoming an orphan, not today. Sam! Where are you?”

“Coming!” he called rushing over to the bed with his cloth. Y/N scrambled back, letting Sam fill in her spot. Dean followed close behind, following the procedure that she had drilled into his brain from the numerous times she had performed them on him.

She turned to the bathroom, washing her hands and splashing some water on her face. Come on, Y/N, she thought to herself. Dad’s… face it. Dad’s dying, and you don’t know what to do. How can you save him?

Then it hit her.

She vaguely remembered seeing a crossroads on the way here. She knew the moment the knife had plunged into her father’s abdomen that she wasn’t nearly well trained enough to deal with this; not with the supplies she had. There was only one way to save him at this point.

Y/N ran out of the bathroom, snatching her jacket and racing out the door.

“Y/N!” Dean screamed for her, but she kept sprinting. “Y/N, get your ass back in here! Dad’s-” his voice broke off. He was unable to say it. She had to act fast.

Y/N always knew this day would come. That was why she carried a premade box around with her, inside her jacket when they hunted should the occasion ever arise. Quickly she made her way to the gravel road, stopping dead center in the parking lot. Checking to see she wasn’t being followed, she planted the box. Scooping the dirt back over it, she stood up.

“C’mon,” she tapped her foot impatiently. “Come on, you stupid son of a-”

“I’d watch that tongue, sweetie,” a voice from behind her. She whipped around, coming face to face with a young woman. She had dark features and wore black clothing. Not that it mattered to Y/N.

“Save my dad,” she practically yelled. The demon raised an eyebrow. She collected herself, taking a deep breath. “Please.”

“You know the terms, I assume?” the demon asked slowly. Too slowly for Y/N’s liking. “Ten long, good-”

“Yeah, yeah,” Y/N said, striding over to her. “Ten years. I know. Now shut up and take my soul.” With that, she planted her lips on the demon’s. She was shocked at first, but quickly responded.

“See you then,” she smirked before leaving Y/N to walk back to the motel, still in shock from what she had just done. She had barely walked back inside the motel room when Dean was in her face.

“What the hell, Y/N?” he nearly shouted. She frowned, confused as to why he wasn’t screaming, until she saw her father. His chest was gently rising and falling, as though he had just taken a nap and not been stabbed. The blood was hardly flowing, and he was… snoring? Y/N didn’t think that she’d ever heard her father snore before.

“He’s fine.” She shrugged him off, going to sit on her bed. She put her head in her hands.

“He wasn’t when you left!” he spat at her. Sam didn’t even look at his sister.

“Y/N, he could have died, and you left. Next time you decide to bail on family, go ahead and stay away.”

“Dean,” she whispered. “Please. I was-”

“I don’t want to hear it,” he snapped. “Now that no one is dead, I’m going for a walk. Because I actually tried to help, so I deserve that.” With that, he left.

“Y/N,” Sam said after a minute of silence. “You did know… you did know that dad was going to be okay, right? Before you left?” She smiled wearily, trying not to memorize every feature of her little brother’s face. She attempted to not memorize his soft eyes, his optimistic tone, his mussy hair and innocence.

“Of course, Sam. I had it all under control.”

Ten Years Later

Y/N drank down the last of her whiskey as she glanced at the clock on her phone. It flashed 11:56pm in the faint light the screen provided. She sat down on the curb, watching as the cars drove by. She waited, ever so calm and patient, for it to come.

For them to come.

She had been experiencing the symptoms recently: visions; sounds; the whole shebang. Y/N thought she had done a fairly good job at hiding them from her brothers, but they weren’t totally convinced. That was why they were watching her from far away. Not that she knew.

It was ten years exactly. Ten years since the deal. Though Sam left and dad did die eventually, she didn’t regret it. There was some sort of a calm washing over her. She was going to die for a good cause, and her brothers wouldn’t see it.

A twig snapped behind her.

She didn’t even turn around. She sighed, standing up.

“I’ll come into the alley. Make it easier to clean up.”

Silently she walked into the alleyway, taking one last swig of alcohol before setting it on the ground. She reached into her pocket, pulling out a letter. She laid it by her canteen. A single tear slipped. I love you, Sam and Dean, she thought to herself. I love you boys.

“Take me away,” she whispered. Then hot breath blew against her neck, and she was knocked to the ground. She didn’t put up a fight.

“Y/N!” Dean screamed, sprinting towards her. Sam was close behind. “Y/N!”
She turned her head around, a sad smile plastered on her face.

“Sam, Dean,” she coughed out, body being torn to shreds by some invisible force. “I-”

Her throat was slashed. She spoke no more.

After a moment, the slicing stopped.

The boys ran to her side, tears streaming down their faces. Sam clutched her jacket front, sobbing openly into her chest. There was no heartbeat, no warmth, no nothing expect the cold and metallic scent of her blood and body tissue that made him want to throw up.

“Y/N!” Dean screamed. “No, you selfish- how could you- why?” His body wracked with cries, leaning his forehead against hers, trying to will her to come back. It was nearly an hour before either of them saw the flask and folded paper beside it. Sam moved to it first. He read it, fresh tears springing to his eyes.

“Dean,” he croaked. “Dean.”

“What?” his brother snapped.

“She… she left a note.”

“… What?”

“Here. Read it.”

He thrust the paper out to Dean, who hesitantly took it. Taking a shuddering breath, he opened the letter.

Dear Sam and Dean,

I know I should have told you, but when I tried it couldn’t come out. There were so many times when I tried to memorize your face, your voice, your everything, that I figured you shouldn’t be burdened with it. It was my weight to carry, and I have never welcomed a trouble more.

Remember that hunt we went on, ten years ago to this date? It was a werewolf case. It got dad. I just couldn’t let him die. So, I sold my soul. I suppose it doesn’t matter much now that he’s gone anyways, but I’m glad I did it. He lived so we could have a parent an adult to watch over us. I did it so Dean wouldn’t have to be the oldest, watch out for his younger siblings. I don’t regret it.

Dean, after reading this and thinking about our argument, I know you’re going to blame yourself. Please, try not to. I know you will anyways, but I love you and don’t want you to go through that. God, I can’t say that enough. I love you. I love you. I love you. Don’t you dare ever forget it or think otherwise. I will kick your ass from beyond the grave so help me. All I ask is that you accept this, don’t do what I did, and move on. Don’t forget me, but accept what has happened and move on. I don’t want you to suffer. I love you. Accept my passing and move forwards. Don’t be afraid to cry. Don’t be afraid to fear. To be afraid to experience emotions. Taking care of yourself takes care of more than yourself. I love you. The only thing I ask you to be strong for is Sam. I know he can take care of himself, but I still worry about the kid. I love you. More than you’ll ever know. I’ll miss you. I’ll miss your stupid jokes and the way your jaw sets when you’re trying to hold in your emotions and I’ll miss your eyes that remind me of second grade when I climbed up in the tree and played with the leaves after the bully pushed me to the ground and you sat with me, saying that you loved me and that nothing would ever happen to me. Nothing ever did. Know that. You couldn’t have stopped me, even if you wanted to. I love you. I love you so much.

Sammy, my not-so-little brother. You never gave up on me, even when I gave up on myself. I can never repay you for that. Please, I know you are going to find some way to blame yourself, and so will Dean. I just need you to be there for him. Remember all those times where the world was trying to tear us apart, and remember how we said, “Screw you. We’re a family.” I know you’re going to hurt, and I know you’re going to hurt bad. And that’s okay. It’s okay for you to want to cry, to scream, to break everything until there is nothing left and your knuckles bleed. It’s okay for you to fall to your knees, as long as you get back up again. Please, know I love you. I’ll never tell you enough. I never told you enough. I love you. I love your long hair (don’t tell Dean, but it always made me happy when you let me run my fingers through it). I love your eyes that I can never quite describe, the way they always seem to change colours but never fail to turn back to my favourite shade of sunshine through whiskey, copper against sage and honey and when they glow I never fail to smile because even when I felt like calling the hounds early, you always carried me forwards. You never even knew it. I love you. I’m going to miss your quirkiness and love for learning and the way that you always would light up when you knew the answer to a question or saw that we were proud of you. I’ll never stop being proud of you. I’ll never stop loving you.

All the way through hell, I’ll remember you boys and be okay. I’m going to be okay. I’m going to remember how much I love you two, how much I love the way that you’re always bickering to make me laugh and the way that Dean smells like gun smoke and whiskey that I can call home, the way that Sam always tries to look for the best in things, the way that even though life has thrown him every curveball it has that he still hasn’t backed down.

I’m going to try to stop writing how proud I am of you boys before I tear up and ruin this page like I did with the others. Please, be there for each other. Don’t drink away your pain. Remember me. Know I love you. I love you so much. God, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to stop writing it down. I love you. I love you. I love you. You two have always been there for me, so I ask that you be there for each other. I know you’ll both want to take the impala and drive away from each other and not speak about this incident for days, weeks- hell, probably not even years if I know anything about you two- but please, stay with each other. That’s all I want for you two. I love you. Please, help each other. Be available for each other. Don’t go through this alone. Always keep fighting for me. I love you both so much. More than I can say, more than I can write. I’d do this all again if I knew it meant that you two would at least grow up off the streets, with some sort of food in your stomachs on a somewhat regular basis.

I love you both. Please, carry on. I love you. Don’t worry. Hopefully, we won’t see each other anytime soon. When you go to heaven, think of me. Think of our family. We’ll be alright. You’ll be alright. And don’t bother trying to save me. I made sure with the demon that you two couldn’t bring me back.

I love you. So, so much.

Love from your sister,


There was a short funeral.

Bobby showed up. Rufus showed up. Every single hunter they’d met showed up. Y/N had impacted a lot of people. She’d saved a lot of lives.

The body was up in flames before the sun set. Sam and Dean were at the front, where no one could see the tears on their faces. Not that anyone would have the audacity to mention it. Not when there were streaks on their own.

“I love you too, Y/N,” Sam whispered. His voice cracked, even though he barely was heard.

“More than you’ll ever know,” Dean finished. He looked to the sky. “I love you. We all do. I promise, no one will ever forget you. You have my word, sister.”


I originally wasn’t going to read it bc tbh, i didn’t *love* the last two books in the series: QOS and EOS (i felt like the series peaked @ HOF)  and an extra book about kale? i was like? really? is this necessary?

[spoilers ahead]

and it’s so hard to not let other people’s opinions effect how you see this series….esp all the antis on tumblr. but slowly and surely I’m listening to my own opinions, rather than what strangers declare on the internet like I have read so many arguments on this series and there’s good points on both sides that ultimately it just goes round and round and whatever the fuck I’m just really jaded and tired as shit so moving on to the actual review thats more like a list thats really incoherent like always


- chaol’s fucking character arc like. fuck. r u fucking kidding me. fuck. i was never a really big chaol fan to begin with ever since tog, but god. this book just made me love him??? like jesus by the end i would’ve probably died for this veggie

- YRENE FUCKING TOWERS!!!!!!! jfc like the assassin and the healer was always my favorite of all the novellas and fuck this just came together so beautifully. seeing how yrene’s changed from that girl all those years ago when she first met celaena to the strong woman she is now I’m QUAKING! and that fucking last scene on the boat?? with chaol and yrene??? the note??? fuck me up???

- SARTAQ AND NESRYN I’m dead don’t even w me like fuck I’m dead. get u a otp that rides giant badass hawks together. like fukc. i can even begin like nesryn fucking deserves this so much I’m so happy that she’s happy I’m fucking. jesus. ALSO THAT LAST SCENE W HER FAM. that was some Cute Shit.

- THE ENTIRE SUPPORTING CAST. i literally can’t even like how the fuck do i describe???? as far as I could tell there were no like overused cliche tropes for supporting characters. And Sarah could have described poc better like. There are more words than just brown?? And idk I just felt like she could’ve described their skin color more frequently bc for a lot of the poc it was like described once and never mentioned again. and hasar. like im shaking.

- How Chaol viewed aelin and dorian and coming around and letting go of that bitterness in his heart. like my fucking bleeding heart. My OG Babies. like yall. that was some Real Shit.

- ALL THE FUCKING MESSAGES IN THIS STORY. this was the most beautiful part of the book, in my opinion like just. here. these are some of the messages i saw:

  • no matter how small a role you think you played, you still deserve to have your story told. (nesryn & the arrow thing) (I’m sorry im really tired and i just finished and i cannot for the life of me remember the names of anything)
  • let go of the bitter shit in your heart. or in the long run it’ll eat u up. (i mean. kale’s entire thing.)
  • family is just. so important. like the royal family The Khagans. like u hear all this shit about them wanting to kill each other but like. “never us” bye my eyes are fucking sweaty
  • even if you think it’s the end of the world. it’s not. (like idk just chaol learning to live with his disability and how it doesn’t make him a different man like that fucked me up. also the remanence of his convo with aelin? the one where kales like “what if theres just despair beyond this?” and aelins like “then it is not the end” or it goes something like that. like. tattoo that on my fucking forehead.

anyways HOF was my favorite book in the series and now this one. is right up there with it so I’m just really emotional. bc it really blindsided me with how good it was like it was just. way better than i expected. 

so this is how i accidentally attended a funeral

i hit 1k and i promised this story so here it is

okay so i was 16? or 17? when this happened and basically my mom came home and was like “put on black and get in the car” because my mom is always extra™ so i went with it bc that’s what you do when you’re 16 you just go with everything so anyways we drive for 2 hours to the middle of nowhere ontario and my mom parks the truck and it was january i was like yikes its cold out because canada gets cold in the winter so im not fuckin with it and i run into the building which unsurprisingly is a funeral home 

and i get there and kind of get pulled to the right and these people start talking to me in Korean and the biggest problem with that is i dont speak Korean. so i was just kind of like “yes?” and they took me into a funeral chapel where a funeral is taking place in Korean (i know it was Korean because i recognised the writing on the pamphlet they gave me about the guy whose funeral it was)

so they put me, this random white girl, on this couch in the back with a pamphlet and kleenex and i have no idea where my mom is because she just like fucked off and i didnt want to text her because i couldn’t check my phone because it was a funeral and i didnt want to be disrespectful i was literally just sitting there like “our lord and saviour who art in heaven what the fu-”

Keep reading

I haven’t posted fam quotes in a while so I have a lot prepare urself

‘‘Who needs knowledge when you have Yuuri in lingerie fics’’

-i wonder how one makes apple sauce
+Once I asked that to my godfather
~You smash apples
+He said that I had to squeeze the apple
-* s q u e e z e * 

‘‘I’m reading gay porn ok I gotta give it my full attention’’

‘‘Duck my autocorrector

‘‘Also, I’m about to eat yuuri’’

-Enjoy the vore
+novi no
~ur gonna make baba more mad @ me, honey
-noviembre yes
+ur name is NOviembre not YESviembre

- ;-;
~Wait am I married to novi



‘‘novi, you didn’t even know what was icing 2 minutes ago’’


+N O

‘‘Send me ass’’

-Wait there’s a lazytown fandom?
-I knew 2017 was a meme but I didn’t know it was that memed
-I’m in this fandom now

‘‘I’ll learn Russian so I’ll know how to ask for mercy when WWIII starts and America fucks up’’



‘‘What type ny’all think I am :3c’’

‘‘So i cant join the skeleton war’’


‘‘I’ll buy bath bombs and lick them
Imma do it’’


+Ì’m gonna invade your swamp

-Je suis veux mourir
+Nie mowie po francusku
~Que le follen al francés
+Hon hon hon baguette
~Oui oui croissant

‘‘What if the hexaflexagon police comes in asks you’’

-This is supposed to be a channel for spANISH


‘‘ano is the new iiyo’’

+the fuck
~Long story

‘‘Do a snep’’

‘‘Theres only one other way to make myself sleep other than wait for it to surprise me and thats death or coma’’

‘‘I got pizza and I’m ready for death’’

-W/ love <3

-I too, carry a rose in glass around
+I would tho
-If anything id carry a bag of chips
~S a m e

‘‘Nya’m dead inside’’

‘‘That heel is bigger than my future’’

‘‘I wear 4 inches boot skull crushing heels’’


‘‘omg siamese cats r evil’’

‘‘i want longer legg’’


-W t f
-i prefer not to be insulted today
-What is she, a fuckiNG LITERAL COW
+That would explain why she was so offended by the steak
+you’re eating her cousin
+and here we go again

‘‘Shit bitch shit shit it bitch it?’’

-i’m returning for this car
+run nel
-I’ll take the car too though
+Run off with the car and cat
-I wouldn’t get far lmao
+Try your best

-SO pure

‘‘The only ass to eat is a corn ass’’

‘‘Dont yeet at me accept my love you piece of Australian ass
I say with love’’

‘‘Go surfing or something
Idk what u do in California all I have is stereotypes’’

-Fucc u I live In dessert



‘‘im ‘‘‘‘‘‘‘studying’’’’’’’’’’

‘‘That feeling when you have 18 triangles’’


‘‘We gotta contact the NFA
National Furry Association’’

‘‘fun fact i went to a catholic school
so i know how to praise jesus like a pro
i have a degree in praising jesus
ended up going wiccan but i still have my degree ok’’

-My friend just informed me that

-Boku no pico is 10 years old
-Happy birth day boku no pico
~I can’t believe its as old as Eve
*Eve’s generation is evil

‘‘I was like texting half the time so I just heard like a lot of noises and saw minimal dick’’

‘‘yall spanish people have to chill’’


‘‘Then yell out I was the anti christ’’

‘‘I’m reborn Jesus and I’m kicking all of you with a bible’’

-*i have s i n n e d*
+Stormy you are a sin
-STEp On me
+you’re literally Satan

‘‘if ur pure then im oprah’’

‘‘is sucking a Dick half vore since you don’t really eat it’’

+Considering i wanted real lion porn this is better than other shit

‘‘Pink is one letter away from punk’’

‘‘On Russia you don’t eat dick
The dick eats you’’

-Novi tell Eve Im not a furry
+Eve I’m not a furry
~You’re a furry just accept it

-Ive already recieved a family gang bang its your turn now Eve
+Ryan please

‘‘Like all fuckijg day my phone has been autocorrwcting to these randkm ass foreing words and now I fucking know why: I have the gucking Polish keyboard on’’

‘‘She said, after copying a sex poem’’


‘‘I’m gonna marry a lesbian gay gay lesbian lesbian woman lesbian lesbian gay lesbian lesbians lesbian gay lesbian lesbian gay lesbians lesbian gay gay lesbian woman lesbian lesbian gay lesbian woman lesbians lesbian woman gay gay lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian gay lesbian lesbian lesbian girl woman gay lesbian lesbian gay’’

-What you dont love my terms of affection
+How can you call that a term of affection you just said ‘‘I want she/he/whatever to vore me’’ and ‘‘Give me the good cum daddy’’

-Quiero hacerle cosquillas a tus pelotas
+Why do you want to tickle my balls
-See that one translated correctly

-you dont know the half of it
-the damn nsfw server
-has more messages
-Than the general chat


-I put this in the pron chat bc Mr Krabs is pron
~what the what


-How does one walk on heels
+One doesnt


‘‘U guys being confused over Californian weather is my AESTHETIC tm’’

‘‘I’ve died and revived three days later as the new Jesus reading that post’’

‘‘did someone lick me off admin’’

‘‘I started humming We Are Number One while I was walking to class I’ve reached the memeximun point in my life’’

‘‘prepare the paint while i wait for the ppl to come and then chinese soldiers’’

‘‘I am the parent why do you refuse to listen to me’’

‘‘Do you think
The dad from chicken little
is a bara’’

‘‘Mama Baba Lulu pats A Screaming Hexaflexagon’’

‘‘I’m being attacked
I just wanted to hear about cute crushes
And all i got 
Were mean Sams
Ans shrek’’

‘‘I’m just a musicak trash bag’’

‘‘Spongebob is gay and none of you will convince me otherwise

@ask-ageswap-viktor  @prongs-chan  @nocturnal-narcissus  @ask-yoi-viktor-nikiforov  @hatelikingbatman  @plushy-minami  @ask-ice-family  @stammi-ravioli  @space-asylum  @makkakill  @ask-a-skater-fan  @spring-gay

Don't Love Me: Michael Clifford Smut

gif cred to owner

not requested

word count: 4.2K

pairing: michael x reader

rating: R

note:yes i finally wrote a michael smut! are u excited? i hope u are bc i worked hard on it, and im proud of it. this smut has more of a plot line to follow, instead of it just being smut yknow (hence why it’s over 4k words long lol) enjoy my loves xx

After an exhausting day of work, you swing the back door open and smile at the sight of your car in the parking lot. You jog to it and unlock it, settling yourself in the driver’s seat and starting the car. Just as you put your seatbelt on, your phone buzzes, indicating a phone call. Out of curiosity, you look at the caller ID. Surprisingly, you see your ex-boyfriend’s name, ‘Michael,’ flashing obnoxiously on the screen.

Hesitantly, you pick your phone up and accept the call. Running a hand through your hair, you nervously bring the phone to your ear. “M- Michael?” is your greeting, which, might you say, isn’t the smartest way to start a conversation.

“Oh, you remember me. Thought, by now, you’ve already deleted my number,” he remarks, the chipper tone of his voice exposing his cockiness.

“Fuck off,” you groan. Shakily, you balance the phone between your shoulder and your ear as you back out of the driveway and turn left, thus starting your usual route home. “What do you want?”

“I want you,” Michael replies, immediately causing you to tense up. You don’t respond, propelling Michael to continue talking. “Why don’t you bring your cute, little ass over to my house, and I’ll show you just what you’re missing out on.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t want you. You see, Michael, there’s a reason why I broke up with you,” you retaliate, hoping your answer will shift the conversation in the direction you feel more comfortable with.

“And what’s that reason, sweetheart?” he questions. Though you know he’s only asking you that question to irritate you; he’s definitely doing a good job at that.

“Because you’re a horny asshole who fucks anything that breathes,” you spat. Suddenly, the memory of the day you caught Michael cheating on you replayed in your mind. It was about a month or two ago, and you two were just a day shy of your two year anniversary as a couple. You came from work, but you didn’t hear the television or the shower running. No, you heard moans instead - loud moans.

Curiosity getting the best of you, you knocked on your bedroom door before entering. Nothing would have ever prepared you for what you had witnessed that day. When you opened the door, the woman’s legs were wrapped around his neck.

As soon as you caught him, you dumped him and cried for a solid week straight. You were extremely upset, of course, but you don’t tolerate anyone who seeks the love of another person while they already have someone willing to give them that same exact love.

“You know how sorry I am, babe,” he says, the tone of his voice softening at the sound of your anger. “Please… just come over, and we can talk.”
“What’s there to talk about, Michael? You cheated on me after two fucking years of dating!” you yell. The anger coursing through you distracted you from driving, and you almost miss the turn you’re supposed to take. “I’m over you.”

“Are you really over me?” Michael asks, the intolerable arrogance creeping back into his voice just as quickly as it went away.

“Yes… Yes, I am, Michael.” You sigh, the conversation faltering to a dead silence. Deciding to take initiative, you clear your throat and speak up, “I just… I want to know why you cheated on me.”

“Well, come over, and I’ll tell you,” he presses.

“Fine… I- I’ll be there soon. Bye, Michael,” you mumble, forcing your voice to stay flat and free of emotion. Instead of going into your neighborhood, you turn around, speeding off to head towards his house.

Finally, you arrive. A nervous swirl of uncertainty settles in the pit of your stomach, warning you just how bad of an idea this is. As you knock on his front door, you cross your arms over your stomach to hopefully subdue it’s warning signs.

The door flings open, and your eyes catch his expectant gaze. “Hi,” you greet. To invite yourself in his home, you take a giant step forward to enter the warmth of his house. The familiar smell of his cologne hangs lightly in the air as you brush past him.

“Do you want to know why I cheated on you?” Michael asks, skipping all of the friendly small talk instantly.

“Yes, I do. I want to know why the fuck you cheated on me. No, not just why, but who the hell you cheated on me with. I think I deserve that little bit of information too, don’t you think?” you interrogate. The woman who was in bed with Michael left as soon as she heard you gasp. She had on minimal clothing - just her undergarments - and left with the pile of her clothes in her hands. The woman had kept her head down the whole time, so you couldn’t identify who she was very well.

“She was just someone I met in a club. She gave me her number, so I called her. She came over, and we had sex. That’s it,” he explains. You scoff and scrunch your eyebrows.

“That’s it?” you ask, not continuing until you see Michael nod his head. “So the whore who was in our bed one day before our two year anniversary was just some girl you picked up from a club? Is that really it, Michael? There’s no other explanation?”

Michael nods his head again, shoving his hands deep into the pockets of his sweatpants. “Pretty much.”

“Bullshit!” you yell. For dramatic effect, you throw your arms up in the air. “Were you just bored? Is that it, Michael? Were you bored of jacking off while I was at work? Did you call up this woman because your sorry ass couldn’t wait for me to get home?”

“Oh, please!” Michael scoffs, his eyes narrowing at the sight of your arms crossing over your chest. “Even if you won’t admit it, you know damn well why I cheated on you. No matter how hard I tried, you always blew off having sex. You used stupid excuses, like, ‘I’m too tired,’ or ‘I’m not in the mood.’ That went on for months, and I was getting tired of it. Everyday, you’d come home from work completely exhausted. I wanted to take care of you, make you feel good. You never let me, and I could only do so much for you.”

Your face fails to express any emotion as you struggle to form a proper sentence. At last, you manage to recollect your thoughts, “Well, if you were faithful and loyal - if you had just waited, I would’ve had sex with you eventually. What am I supposed to do here? Apologize for being tired? Say, ‘I’m sorry,’ for not having sex simply because I didn’t want to?”

Michael sighs, doing a quick once-over of you before walking closer to you. His voice dramatically decreases in volume as he finally responds, “All I wanted to do was take care of you. I wanted you to be able to come home from a long day of work and just let me take care of you. I wanted to show you that a tiring day of work didn’t have to be a bad thing.”

“It was never a bad thing, Michael. I- I…” you trail off, unsure of how to continue. Michael weakly smiles, moving his hand up to tuck the falling strands of hair behind your ear.

“I know, and it’s my fault for thinking it was. I made a mistake… a big mistake. I was getting angry and impatient, and a kiss on the lips just wasn’t enough for me. I needed more, and instead of waiting for you to feel the same, I turned to another woman. I’m sorry. I really am sorry,” Michael apologizes, not bothering to capture your gaze once he sees your eyes wander around the room.

“D- Did she give you what you wanted, Michael? Did she love you better than I could?” you question, finally mustering up the courage to look him straight in the eyes. Your voice breaks, and you struggle to blink back tears. You flicker from one eye to the next, unsure of where your stare should rest.

“No one can love me better than you can,” Michael says. “Now that you’re here, why don’t I show you I can love you right, love you like you deserve to be loved?

“Don’t love me, Michael,” you reject, your voice small and scratchy. Just as Michael’s hands reach out for you, you flinch backwards. “I don’t need your love. You lost my love as soon as your lips touched another woman’s lips.”

“Are you saying you don’t love me just so you can convince yourself that you don’t? Are you just ignoring that you still love me and telling me you don’t love me because you think it’ll steer me away? If you do, you’re wrong. You’re so fucking wrong, babe,” he counters. A smirk twitches on his lips, showing no sign of fear as he approaches you. His hands travel down your chilled arms, every finger creating it’s own burning trail on your skin. Once they reach your wrists, his fingers curl around them.

“M- Michael…” you begin, ready to defend yourself. However, you can’t. You can’t defend yourself. You have nothing to defend.

“See? You can’t even stand up to me because you know I’m right,” he says. His grip on your wrists tighten as he speaks. “You still love me. You never got over me. Hell, you probably didn’t even want to break up with me.”

“You don’t know that,” you growl, willingly moving closer to him.

“Oh, I don’t? Then why are you here? Why are you in my house, asking about why I cheated on you? Why are trying to tell me you don’t love me when you can barely convince yourself you don’t?” Michael urges, making the blood streaming recklessly through your veins start to boil.

“I came here because I wanted a reason to hate you!” you shout, causing Michael to slam your back against the nearest wall. He secures your arms on either side of you, his grip preventing you from moving.

“Oh, really?” he rasps. “Did you get what you came for, sweetheart? Do you have a reason to hate me now?”

“Yes,” is all you say. The smirk on his face grows, only angering you more.

“What’s the reason? Why do you hate me, babe? Tell me,” he banters. His lips brush past yours as he waits for your answer.

“I hate you because I love you. I love you so fucking much, and I hate that,” you reply. Unable to hold back the temptation, you smash your lips into his. This catches him off-guard, and he doesn’t have time to recompose himself because you pull away. “I hate that you cheated on me, and I hate that I love you just as much as I did before you cheated. But do you know what I hate the most, Michael? Do you?”

“What? What do you hate the most?” he asks, his voice low and raspy.

“I hate that I forgive you for cheating on me,” you breathe out. Michael laughs, though it’s not as bright and cheery as it usually is. This time, it’s dark. It’s angry, which only furthers the justification of your anger. In a blur of infuriation and passion, your lips crash into his; his body presses yours against the wall, leaving you completely breathless. You kiss back and tug at his hair, twisting the ends in between your fingers.

Michael, managing to never break the kiss, bends down to get a secure grip on your thighs. He lifts you in the air, encouraging your legs to weave around his waist. Afterwards, his hands glide up and down your back until they reach your bum. He gives it a squeeze, hoping it’d surprise you. However, you stubbornly keep your mouth closed so his tongue has no entrance.

Getting impatient, just like you knew he would, he slips his hands under your shirt and rakes his fingernails up the sides of your body. A sharp pain is left behind on your skin as the numbing trail comes to an end. You gasp at the unwelcomed sensation, allowing Michael to seize the moment.

His tongue slips into your mouth, already winning a short-lived battle. With every eager smack of your lips, he discovers a new area inside your mouth. Seeing as his hands are right at the underwire of your bra, Michael helps you tug your shirt off. Your lips tore apart in order to do so, which was a weird feeling for you. It seemed as if your and Michael’s were glued to each other, never meant to be broken apart. When your lips did leave each other, it left you craving more.

He throws your shirt off to his right, leaving it to rest on the couch. “I hate you, too, baby,” he says as the empty void increasing the distance between your lips created an overwhelming amount of tension.

“Why do you hate me?” you ask. You purposely squeezed your legs around his waist and run a hand through his hair. “Tell me, baby. What is it that you hate about me?” When you see his eyes become visibly darker, you smirk, but bite your lip to hold it back.

Michael kisses you, postponing answering the question. His hands, knowing they can’t stay in one spot, roam your body, establishing his rightful affection for you through his fingertips. He backs away from the wall, forcing his hands to rest under your bum to support you. With a thick stream of rage whirling around you, he wastes no time rushing to his bedroom.

Before the kiss got too heated, you pull away and swiftly peel his shirt off. Dropping it on the floor, you let Michael open the door to his bedroom before resuming the kiss. Michael’s kisses have always been your drug. Even after he cheated on you, you craved them. Nothing can separate you from Michael, and nothing can detach Michael from you. You’re like each other’s air supply, your source of life. Without one another, you’re basically nonexistent.

“Answer me,” you beg against his lips. Michael sighs into your mouth, in hopes of catching his breath. You’re fighting for your own air as it is, but you don’t care. What you really need is Michael. “Why do you hate me?”

“I hate you because…” he starts, ripping the kiss apart to lay you down on the bed. Your arms wrap around his neck and play with the hair at the nape of his neck, hoping your actions pressure Michael into answering you. Your lips touch, and you hear Michael moan, as if that simple act was enough to drive him crazy. Finally, unwilling to handle your teasing, he responds,“you’re all I think about. I hate you because we didn’t have sex for months, yet you always found a way to make me want you.”

Your hands travel down his back, tracing his spine until you reach his jeans. “Oh, really?” you tease, propelling you to hook your fingers in the belt loops. Michael nods, not waiting for your response and skimming his lips past yours. Instead of kissing your lips, he swoops down to your neck and, though he remembers where your sweet spot is, he ignores it. His hand moves the hair away from your neck to allow him more access. With a smile, he sucks and nips at your neck, forming love bites wherever possible.

To hold back a moan, you draw in a sharp intake of air. Your hands, trembling from the exposed passion projecting all around his room, rake up his back. Eventually, they reach his shoulder blades, and you settle for digging your nails into his hot skin. “I hate you because I cheated on you, and all I thought about was you. All I thought about was how no one loves me better than you do, and I hate that,” Michael explains into the sensitive skin of your neck. Admitting that you no longer can hold it back, you moan. Your chilled skin meshes with his fevered skin, getting a louder reaction out of you. Soon afterwards, goosebumps course down your body, head-to-toe. “You make me want you so fucking much, and I hate that.”

“I want you, Michael. I want you so bad,” you groan, impatiently running your hands down his body to reach his jeans once more. Michael, satisfied with the copious amount of hickeys he’s marked you with, begins to lick down your torso. Just when he reaches your bra, you manage to unbutton his jeans. After kicking his jeans off, his hands curve your back into an arch. When he gets full access to your bra, he unclasps it and tears it off of you.

His hungry eyes admire you, leaning down to kiss you. Eagerly, he kisses every soft feature of your face before reaching back down to your chest. Michael resumes where he left off, trailing more kisses down your body. When he reached just above your bellybutton, he kisses circles around it as he fiddles with the button of your jeans. Undoing it within seconds, he aides you in peeling them off. Because of his impatience, the process of taking them off was reduced considerably.

Your jeans join his on the floor, and at the quiet thud, Michael practically rips your panties right off too. Before inching closer to your throbbing core, he slings your legs over his shoulders. With a smirk, he admires your sex. “Damn, baby, who knew I could make you this wet,” he remarks, a low laugh slipping past his lips. His tongue pokes out of his mouth and scrapes up your folds. Your juices trickle down his throat, and he smiles. “I forgot how beautiful your pussy is.” He licks his lips, keeping his dark stare on you.

You groan as your high level of rage increases dramatically, mostly because of how impatient you are. To encourage him to make his move, your hands tangle in his hair and bring him closer to your heat. “P- Please, Michael,” you plead. Another loud whimper escapes your lips as his crisp breath fans over you.

“Oh, baby, you’re begging for me now? A few months ago, you weren’t,” Michael retaliates. At his words, his tongue slips in between your folds and calmly licks up and down, but not taking any real action.

“I need you, Michael. Please… I- I’m sorry,” you say, deciding that if you apologize - though it’s an empty apology - Michael will do what you’ve missed for months.

“You were never this needy when we were dating…” Michael points out, chuckling at this discovery.

“I don’t care!” you shout, your hastiness getting the best of you. “I don’t fucking care! Michael, please!” At the sound of your irritability, Michael’s tongue delves into you, pumping at a rapid pace. This gets a reaction from you, and you moan aloud. The feeling of Michael pleasuring was one you’ve missed for ages, and he knows that. Frankly, he won’t let you forget it.

Your orgasm builds slowly, which is slightly beneficial. You never want this euphoria to end. Michael, hearing your moans quiet down, exits you and licks up your slit to center himself above your clit. His mouth curls around it and, without warning, sucks mercilessly. His tongue flicks and pokes at the nub, sending a rush of pleasure through you. Your moans and whimpers drown out any other noise, only exciting Michael and inspiring him to work even harder.

Two of his digits enter you, and your orgasm picks it’s speed up instantly. “Oh, fuck… Michael!” you whine. Your hands grip the bed sheets as his fingers push in and out of you at an ever-increasing pace. His mouth continued working it’s unexplainable magic, sending you to a place beyond your imagination.

Your high crashes down on you when you least expected it, and your back arches off of the bed. As your body calms itself down, your legs close in on Michael’s head. Your chest heaves, barely able to control your uneven breathing. You feel his smile against your core as he pushes your legs apart.

Knowing you’re still sensitive, his fingers slow their pace down to help you ride your high out. When your back touches the mattress of his bed, his fingers exit you, and he licks them clean. To buy you time to catch your breath, Michael kitten-licks up and down your folds, purposely slipping in between them to collect anything he missed.

Though your orgasm’s still rushing through you, so you cry out at the sensation; Michael laughs, enjoying seeing you wrapped around his finger. Quickly, he brings your legs down from over his shoulders. He pecks your lips and deepens the kiss, shoving his tongue in your mouth shortly after. His tongue dances with yours, allowing you to taste what he did moments before.

Your lips pull apart with a loud smack, and Michael uses this hesitation to comment, “You know, I bought a pair of handcuffs a while ago. I waited for months to use them, but I never did. I wanted to see you beg until you couldn’t beg anymore. I was thinking of using them today, but I guess I don’t need to.”

Not caring to respond, knowing he’s just trying to get a reaction out of you, your hands travel down to the waistband of his boxers. You pinch each side, even going to the extent of marking his hips with your fingernails. Michael smirks, happy to see you practically begging him without him pushing you to. Michael slips his boxers off, tossing them off to the side.

With ease, he positions himself above your entrance. Just when his head leaned down to kiss you, he pounds into you instead. His entire length enters you, and you scream, the mixture of both pleasure and pain overwhelming you completely. Your eyes flutter closed, and your head digs into the mattress. Michael’s hand, resting on one side of your head to support himself, moves the hair out of your face. Michael realizes your eyes are closed, and he slows down to help you get comfortable.

When the pain subdues dramatically, your cries turn into moans and begs for more. “Look at me, baby. Open your eyes,” Michael orders, his pace surprisingly speeding up after he saw your mouth agape from pleasure.

At his demand, you force your eyes to open; as you do, your gaze locks onto his. Your hands trail up his body slowly, carefully admiring every niche and curve. Everything in the room filled with your synchronized moans; they switched to screams when Michael hit your g-spot.

Once more, he slams into you, your skin slapping his as he recklessly thrusts into you.

You clench around him, signaling your fast-approaching orgasm. To speed it up, Michael’s hand traverse down your body, and his thumb stretches to your clit and starts rubbing it. When his cock twitches inside of you, you both know just how close your orgasms are getting.

Your moans fall out of your mouths in perfect harmony, and Michael bent down to your neck, leaving kisses to distract himself from his own orgasm. Though he’s close, he holds back for a while to wait for you to come first. The circles he’s rubbing onto your clit get faster and heavier as he feels himself losing momentum to hold back his orgasm. “Come, baby… Come for me. Show me how fucking good I make you feel.”

His words sent you over the edge. Your back arches away from the mattress, and your stomach presses into his, accidently pushing his whole length into you once more. You cry out, and to relieve yourself slightly, your fingernails stab into his shoulder blades and scratch down his back. Michael, unable to deny himself his orgasm much longer, releases into you as his head falls backwards. He lets a loud groan escape his lips, and you run a hand through his hair before placing needy kisses to his shoulders. In a blend of heaving breathing and stray moans, you and Michael kiss as his pace slows down.

Michael doesn’t exit you until both of you have ridden your highs out. Completely out of breath, the kiss he plants on your lips is weak and drained of energy. You smile as he rolls off of you and lands next to you. You turn your head to look at him, watching his chest rise and fall in it’s search for air.

After a while, Michael returns your stare and, with a smile as wide as yours, pulls you into his chest. “I’m sorry,” he mumbles into your hair, his lips pressing a sweet kiss to your temple afterwards. You don’t bother to respond. Instead, you pull the covers up to pool around your naked bodies and cuddle into Michael. You two stay awake, comfortable in each other’s embrace for the first time in two years.

anonymous asked:

So I love how you guys seem to care so much about Michonne and Rick but I got into some arguments with folks who have a question why do you think Rick is good for Michonne? Is it sex, and friendship? Like what does being with him do for her?? Do they complement each other?? Is she the ice to heat or pepper to his salt? I just kind of was like folks always say what she does for him

okay first of all thank you so So SO much for asking!! and asking me?!! as if i’m some sort of authority on Richonne??! it rlly tickles me pink. and now, to answer ur question of why i think Rick is good for Michonne (because these are the questions i think about 24/7 while i’m busy just living my life so obviously i have an answer for you).

1. I really think Carl is the key to Rick and Michonne’s relationship: the way in which it develops, and the pace at which it develops (although yes, I am one of those people who still believe that it would have happened on its own regardless, with or without him). But the way Michonne has her heart-to-heart with Carl when they talk about Andre, or the way they always share their candy with one another, or their ability to make each other laugh amidst an actual apocalypse, or the fact that he told her he felt like a monster, and the fact that she literally admitted out loud to him that “Your dad brought me back. You did.” Their relationship is beautiful and tragic and the list goes on. Michonne lost one son, but she certainly gained another one in Carl. He allows her to be the mother she always thought she was going to be. And Carl lost his mother: there’s a void in his life that Chonne does something to help fill.

So Carl. She and Rick have that in common.

2. As a continuation off of that, let’s keep in mind that Carl isn’t the only one Chonne credits with bringing her back from the edge. She also clearly confesses to Rick’s own son that Rick brought her back from the dead, numb state in which she was living - that he was the one who brought her back to life, in essence. Who stopped her from continuing down into her scary, walker-surrounded insanity, because she saw his strength, his goodness, and his love for his child. This man: the way he cares so unbelievably much for Carl, and the way he BITES ANOTHER MAN’S THROAT OUT in order to protect him - which is something so quintessentially Rick, something only Sheriff Grimes would be so loving and protective and compulsive and (a teensy tiny bit) insane enough to do. Compare that level of devotion to the father of Michonne’s own child, who got high and allowed himself and their son to get bit.

There is no contest. Rick is a better father, and Michonne is appreciative of that.

3. Michonne was out on a run when it happened. She hadn’t given up hope when her camp got taken over, and her entire life was destroyed before she could go out and do everything within her power to prevent it from happening. Her child died as a result, and she ended up talking to her dead boyfriend in the same way that Rick talked to Lori. She saw herself in that aspect of him, in that craziness and emptiness. “It happens.” That is honest-to-God what she said to a man who was having life-and-group-endangering hallucinations of his dead wife. It. Happens. (what a fuckin match these two are)

But Rick moved on from the loss of his wife. He came to terms with it the same way Michonne did. He persevered for his son and for a daughter that he knew all along wasn’t even his. It was his responsibility to take care of them both, so that they could continue on living long after he had died. Which means that Rick, despite everything, has not given up hope. When Michonne wanted to go to Washington, he said fuck it. She has hope, I want to have hope, and anyways it’ll make her happy so I guess none of the rest of it even matters.

How could she not be attracted to someone like that? Someone who would do that for her? Who would take that risk, take that chance, because even if all his hope is gone, she still has hers, and that’s enough for them both. (I mean, have you seen the woman smile?? it’s pretty damn contagious. My name isn’t even Rick Grimes but I’d walk through hell just to get her to look at me like that.)

4. You’re definitely not wrong about the sex. I mean, to be honest, we all know that they both haven’t been intimate with anyone in so long, so a good fuck really helps to lift the spirits. But aside from that, have you seen their chemistry?? the looks he’s been giving her since the very first day they met?? how many times that man has checked out her ass??? the way he wakes up in bed beside her and immediately wants to go down on her again so that they can pick it back up from where they left off last night??? like, c'mon, Michonne would honestly have to be blind not to take advantage of that. the man’s in love! it feels nice to be wanted!! and all those stuff and thangs he knows how to do in the bedroom feels nice too!!!

so yeah. they fuck, and it’s fuckin’ awesome.

5. we’re pulling out the big guns for this one, folks. im gonna lend my lil pulpit over to Danai, who knows just how to word everything so perfect and beautifully. Here go some of her thoughts on 7x04. Ahem.

“Her attempt to come to his side comes from when he tells her about Judith. She’s that far away from him, so he has to go that far, because he knows what she’s capable of. It does work, because she sees such a beautiful component of him she hadn’t seen before. It’s heartbreaking, and that’s what she loves about him. He’s so sacrificial, and he doesn’t do it from that place of ego. She can’t ignore that. In some ways it makes her love him even more. She would never have dreamt that he wasn’t Judith’s father from the way he treats this little girl.”

and then, a little further down the page,

“At the same time, she’s caught between her love for her partner, the love of her life, and who she is.”

Danai fuckin Gurira, ladies and gentlemen, laying it down for us with things like “he’s so sacrificial” and “it makes her love him even more” and “THE love OF her LIFE” aka Rick Grimes. God bless me, bc i just died.

So, to sum it up: Michonne loves how humble and honest Rick is. How compassionate and considerate he is. She loves how he makes her feel alive again, how he makes Carl and Judith feel so safe, and how she never has to worry with him: she knows for a fact that their kids are in good hands - he will do literally whatever it takes so that no harm ever comes their way. And he extends this mentality out to the rest of his group, including her. Especially her. Michonne doesn’t need a sidekick when it comes to ass kicking, but she does need that emotional piece of support Rick provides, that person who is going to look after her and Judith and Carl and always put them first. She needs someone who’s never going to lose hope in this world that they’re living in, because she’s been there before and I can guarantee you that she’s never going back there again. She needs someone who makes her smile like he does.

And, you know, what with everything they mean to each other and how far they’ve made it together and how much they love each other, welllllllllll…

the sex must just be amazing.

tadomakis-deactivated20151211  asked:

daisuga + accidental baby acquisition au!!?


  • the two of them are in university sharing a small apartment w asahi and one day suga comes in pale-faced like ‘i found a baby’
  • asahi shrieks 'A BABY?!?!’ as daichi just stares at suga and the little bundle he has in his arms and just says 'what do babies eat’
  • asahi is freaking out and suga is just clinging to the baby bc it is defenseless and he wants to protect it so daichi is the one that goes to the store first and buys all the shit it needs - a pacifer, diapers, etc and just gives ppl his captain glare when they give him odd looks
  • the baby is a girl who is about one and they go for a while not knowing what to call it (also being clueless about what to do bc daichi suggests taking it to the police station but suga freaks out and is like WHAT IF THEY TAKE HER TO AN ORPHANAGE AND SHE GETS STUCK IN THE SYSTEM AND BECOMES A DELINQUENT and daichi is like ooooookay…..) so daichi just calls her chibi for a while 
  • suga is good at all the motherly stuff - feeding and bathing but leaves daichi to deal w the gross stuff bc chibi likes daichi’s voice for some reason and won’t fuss when he changes her diaper or anything “oi chibi stop pooping” “CHIBI U STINK” “chibi DON’T EAT THAT”
  • they take turns takin care of chibi while juggling work and school but it’s too difficult and after some reluctant thinking they decide to let the rest of their friends know abt chibi (she stays a secret for like 2 weeks and that is the most stressed and tired they’ve ever been)
  • the team loves chibi and wants to make her their mascot but suga just yells at them to leave his baby alone
  • daichi and suga end up sleeping in the same bed with her in the middle for a while bc they can’t afford a crib but after they buy one they keep sleeping in the same bed 8)
  • chibi likes to tease asahi by spitting up on him and pulling his hair and ears and daichi just watches proudly like 'that’s my girl’
  • instead of telling her fairytales, suga tells her about his volleyball adventures but turns his teammates into characters (there was a big scary dragon called kageyama but he was just misunderstood) while daichi just laughs
  • chibi says 'mama’ to suga and suga shoves her into daichi’s arms and promptly runs to the the bathroom and stays there for a while ('oi mama are you crying….it’s okay mama don’t cry’ 'SHUT UP DAICHI’)
  • in the end after a few months asahi finds a woman who is apparently chibi’s aunt and the story is that chibi’s parents died in a fire and for some dumb reason she was left out on the street and nobody noticed her and that’s how suga found her
  • daichi and suga give her back after giving her tons of kisses and promises to visit and her aunt is like 'what a nice couple’ and the two of them are like 'oh we’re not - i guess - oh’
  • then they go home and make out
  • im dead