*passes-out*

Anybody else feel like the life got sucked out of them on the first 1-3 days of their period? Like, I have shallow breathing, I’m dizzy as hell, like I woke up and couldn’t walk a straight line, I was leaning, like I was drunk, but I haven’t drank in weeks since I’m on this medication for my leg. I can’t think straight. My brain is foggy. Every movement my body makes exhausts me. I can’t take a hot shower because I learned when I was 17 that hot showers on my period lower my blood pressure so much I pass out (fun times in the ER that day). On top of regular cramps. Is this normal??

My exhibition is almost ready in the Sabadell financial building at 1111 Brickell. 60 x 48 The Black and Gold series. Special thanks to my people @avantgallery – I will also be a part of this years exhibition in Yankee stadium in New York. More details coming soon. If you are in Miami pass by to check out the pieces. Much love. Love you all.

4

Judas: Is Alice in bed?
Nico: Yeah… Sleeps like an angel, I wish I could sleep like that.
Judas: Hmm. Don’t we all.
Nico: Did you really give her a Playboy instead of coloring books?
Judas: It’s just naked women. What’s the problem with that?
Nico: Well, perhaps she doesn’t care, but I have a problem with you looking at all these naked women. I’m prettier than them anyway.
Judas: Hmmm think so?
Nico: Are you doubting my world domination rights!? How dare you! I’m the queen of everything!
Judas: Well not the queen of burying dead bodies in the woods - i’m pretty sure Vernita is the expert on that.
Nico: Huh! She made me dig the damn grave! Can you believe that? And I managed to pass out, such a shame! Now she knows about the whole deal with the poison too…

The first part of what should be a five part series. I’ve always loved the 5 times kissed meme & there aren’t many written works up for caulscott, so here we go. Not sure how I feel about my writing skills when it comes to make out sessions but  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

rating: well now, there’s mentions of alcohol, swearing, & grinding sooo i’m going with mature just to be safe!
word count: 800+

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Nah Geoff finds michaels porn career. Geoff finding it before Michael is the capcom. Geoff being really surprised when he and Michael finally meet because "oh shit that's the guy who I've been jerking off too for years???" Michael finding Geoff looking at it and being like "dude wtf why are you watching porn of me"

oh my god i’m fucking crying i’m laughing so hard hahaha fucking christ

michael being 100000% certain that the look on geoff’s face the first time they meet means that geoff is totally disappointed in his appearance 

geoff like “i’m gonna fucking pass out i swear to christ” and michael just like not sure what he should do and geoff falling to the earth and just lying there and michael goes to help him and geoff just whispers “i have a fucking physical dvd copy of ‘big dick binge’” and laughing and michael just reeling back in terror like “YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME, ARE YOU FUCKING–OK LOOK IT WAS A ROUGH TIME, DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH IT COSTS TO GET AN ENGINEERING DEGREE?????”

anonymous asked:

Nordics coming home after being away for a while and finding their s/o cuddling with their pillow while they sleep?

This is so freaking adorable omg.

APH Denmark: When Denmark walked in the room he would automatically yell out his usual, “I’M HOME!!!!” But when he noticed his S/O passed out with their pillow in their arms, he abruptly stopped his loud yelling. His usual obnoxious grin would turn into a soft smile as he gently walked over to them and kissed their forehead goodnight. He would try his best to get into bed without waking them up, and would attempt to wrap his arms around their shoulders (though that pillow was kind of in the way).

APH Finland: Finland would have shut the door, only to hear his S/O’s soft snoring a few feet away from him. When he turned around to look at them, he would automatically get those little anime sparkles and hearts in his eyes, because they were just SO CUTE. He would notice that they didn’t have a blanket on, so he would gently cover them up and tuck them in. Finland would be the guy that would have to take a picture of them while they sleep, because a moment like this was just too cute not to save. 

APH Sweden: Sweden is usually quiet when he comes home, partially because he likes to surprise his S/O when he walks in. But when he noticed that they did not come in to greet him when the door closed, he would find himself on a worried search for them. He would eventually find them in their living room, with a blanket around them and a pillow in their arms. Sve would find it absolutely adorable, but wouldn’t want them to stay on the couch all night. So he would pick them up as gently as he could and carry them to the bed. He would enjoy their surprised face in the morning when they woke up in bed beside him.

APH Iceland: Iceland would have an intense blush on his face when he saw his adorable S/O asleep in their bed with his pillow clutched to their chest. He would never admit it, but he could just watch them sleep all night. However, he would have one slight problem with this. The pillow that they were holding happened to be his pillow. He didn’t want to wake them up, but he really had a hard time sleeping without that pillow. He would probably end up sitting in bed and grumbling to himself, not getting any sleep at all that night.

APH Norway: When he noticed his S/O sleeping soundly, he would just kind of sit there and watch them sleep for a few minutes with a small smile on his face. A part of him would want to wake them up, since he has gone too long without their attention and affection, but their peaceful expression would stop him from doing so. Instead, he would crawl into bed with them, and wrap his arms around them from behind. Because it was his pillow that they were holding, he would end up just sharing theirs instead.

sandyclaws68 asked:

Seriously, you want me dead. You want me to be found hunched over my laptop, a puddle of drool growing at my feet, and one last art-inspired KakaIru fic visible on the screen. :D In recompense my request is "Lazy Sunday Morning" and the art needs to include the following: tea cups, a newspaper, and Iruka with extra long hair, like to the middle of his back. Then watch me write!

Lazy Sunday Morning for Sandyclaws

I hope it fits your request XD I had lots of fun drawing it I hope you like it!

anonymous asked:

Scenario where Ace/Zoro's drunk s/o is saying she has a crush on somebody... The second division commander/Swordsman. Fluff pls

I…. have never really seen someone completely drunk before. Seriously. No one in my family is a drinker and I pass out from just having one small glass of cider so… Yeah, I dunno whether this will be accurate so forgive me if it sounds unrealistic? *nervous laugh* (゚Д゚;)ゞ


Ace

“Are you sure this is wise? It’s her…,” your blond haired friend counted the emptied bottles on your side of table before continuing, “… Sixteenth bottle. That’s a new record-yoi.”

Ace threw you a slightly disgusted look when you belched rather loudly; an act you would never admit to doing when you were sober. Seeing you drunk was always interesting, but it usually came with the price of a grumpy and very easily irritable you in the morning. For now, however, he had an objective he needed to accomplish.

“Alright, [f/name]…. Who was it that ate the meat I was saving for today?” the second division commander calmly asked, testing the waters.

“Meee,” you answered almost instantly, grinning.

The freckled male sighed in disdain, ‘I knew it’. Ah well, at least he could scold you and maybe took revenge tomorrow. More importantly, the fact that you easily told him the truth without batting an eye was enough to spur him on.

“Okay…. So…. Uh, do you have… Erm, in the crew–”

“Tell me [f/name] dear, is there someone in the crew that caught your eye?” Izo’s voice suddenly cut in, followed by several wolf whistles and laughs. The crossdresser threw his fellow division commander a sly smirk, to which Ace replied with a halfhearted glare.

You scrunched your eyebrows in concentration before you rested your head on your arms on top of the table, feeling sleepiness taking over, “Like… Like, a crush? I guess so…”

“Who’s the lucky lad, eh, [f/name]?”

Everyone waited, holding their breath, as your eyes scanned through the crew members around you. Should you really tell them? Isn’t this supposed to be a secret? Hmmm… Oh who cares. Might as well give them what they want before you black out.

“Mmmm… Ace…. His name’s Ace…. Heehee….,” you giggled as your eyelids fluttered close, unaware of how your so called ‘crush’ was blushing so hard the nearest bottle of alcohol caught fire or hearing the cheers of the group who had been crowding around the both of you.

Well, at least now you have something to look forward to in the morning that might overcome the horrible hangover you were going to experience.

Zoro

“Are you drunk yeeeet?”

“You wish. I can down ten more bottles and still be sober.”

The clank of glass hitting against the wooden crate that made a makeshift table between the two of you was nearly downed by the sound of music, laughing, and crackling fire in the background. Not even thirty seconds later, you who were seated across the swordsman started giggling like mad, obviously wasted.

“Zoroooo are you drunk yet??”

“No…. But you definitely are.”

The green haired male grinned in amusement as he watched your droopy eyes and flushed cheeks. God, you were too cute, too vulnerable and he could just slung you over his shoulder, carry you to his room and just have his way with you–

Okay, maybe he’s starting to get a little bit tipsy.

“Zooroo… Zorobabe… Hmmm… That sounds weird.. Actually, your name’s so weird. Your hair’s weird…”

“Yeah, whatever..”

“Zorooo~” you sang, “Didja know…. That I’m crushing on someoneeee?”

The alcohol slipped down his windpipe at the sudden change of topic, and you laughed in glee when he went into a coughing fit.

“What?!!!!”

“I love looooove loooooooooove,” you extended your arms as far as you can before making a gross smooching sound, “–You!!!”

The murderous intent your crew’s second in command was emitting off dissipated in mere seconds, and a blank expression now decorated his nicely defined face. He waited for you to laugh it off as a joke, but you stayed in the previous pose, the smile never leaving your expression.

“……. [f/name], I–”

He gritted his teeth in annoyance before turning away from you. Not like this. He wanted you sober when he said those three words. With your intoxicated state, he was sure that you wouldn’t even remember what transpired tonight.

Zoro watched fondly as you started to mumble about how he was being a prick for not responding to your grand secret revelation. He would wait until tomorrow morning, when you’re in your right mind, conscious, and preferably blushing when he recounted your drunken moments. And then maybe he’ll muster enough courage to confess…. Or better yet, he’ll make you admit his feelings to him.

ssweet-poison13 asked:

1 HOUR HAS PASSED! IM STILL NOT OKAY! 5sos you need to start paying for my medical bills!! I NeEd thERApY OMFG! IM GONNA PASS OUT!! BUT MICHAeL< AND CAL JUST LOOKED SO GOOD! AND ASH WITH HE FEET ON THE DRUMS.... DID I MENTION LUKE? OMG LUKEEeEEE... *stops breathing* 'R.I.P ME' JUST LOOK LIKE ANGELS ASDFGHJKL MiCheAL OM ASDGhijlo;jkldshu BYE

Get on it 5sos

based on this plot.

Minnie had no idea she would make the cheer team her freshman year. It was odd for her actually, but with her doing parkour, it actually made her a lot more flexible then she’d thought it had. So the fact that she was standing there with a few of her friends as they questioned her about the jersey she was wearing, made her cheeks blush and her giggle. “I-I don’t know who’s jersey iut is, they just passed it out.” She told them before she felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned and looked up at the senior football player in front of her. 

heya youse BIG CITY TUMBLRS, i gots a RELATABLE TEXT POST for ya *punches a wall for a solid ten minutes before passing out crying*

headcanon: naruto

twice a month, Narudork has Shikamaru schedule a late morning for him so he can stay home, ship the kids off early to school or Aunt Hanabi’s, and then take Hinata out for breakfast after letting her sleep in. he does it so she knows how much he loves and appreciates all she does for him.

of course, this evolves into the kids staying, waking up extra early, and breakfast being made at home. they start calling it Mama Appreciation Day and Himawari thinks it’s the most brilliant idea. Hinata always finds the three of them passed out on the couch afterwards

aprylynn asked:

Do you have any Monty headcanons?

During a crappy day at the LAPD, Deeks was having his lunch break when Monty (just a young baby doggy with scruffy fur) and his LAPD trainer came in. Puppy Monty with huge adorable puppy paws got off his leash and ran through the station. He paused at Deeks’ desk (fellow cops also said it was because of the food, but Deeks liked to think they had a connection.)

“What’s a matter, boy?“ Deeks leaned down petting the dogs head and his little teeth snatched up, grabbing Deeks’ lunch and immediately swallowing it. The dogs trainer got irritated, but Deeks remembered the scruffy puppy and made sure he had scraps for him every time he saw him. 


The first time Kensi met Monty wasn’t planned. Deeks came home one evening and unlocked his apartment to find Kensi passed out on his couch with Monty curled by her feet, he didn’t say anything, just went to bed.

The next morning he found her sitting on the living room with adorable tousled hair, stroking Monty.

“You have a dog?" 

"You broke in?”

She bristled. “I heard noises, didn’t know about him." 

Marty just chuckled and made them pancakes, never saying anything else about it, but Monty and Kensi were always best friends after that.


Deeks and Monty may be best friends, but he never let Monty on the bed and Monty respects that rule, until he and Kensi went all in, then Monty started jumping on the bed all the time, Marty had his suspicions, but never voiced anything.

Then one night he had to go under temporary for LAPD and he got home really late, only to find Top Model playing in his bedroom, Kensi and Monty passed out amidst a pile of Twinkie wrappers. On his bed. 

is anyone else also genuinely worried about Peter having a serious drinking problem? Like

-Freddie being legitimately concerned when he is passed out on the couch and reminding Ben his joke about liver problems wasn’t funny because it’s too real

-Balth not wanting to go to “Peter’s Bar”

-Bath setting water and asprin down and not thinking anything of it when Ben sees because it happens all the time and Balth gets asprin and water every time

-Peter being iritable and fatigued around the flat

Tell me I’m worried about nothing please