hoe tips from urs truly:

  • masturbate before going out, it relieves nerves and leaves your skin looking nice and glowy
  • perfume evaporates faster from dry skin, put vaseline on ur pulse points before using sprays to make the scent last longer
  • some more blowjob/cunni proof lipsticks: armani rouge ecstasy, benetint lip stain, maybelline color sensational lip stain, and nyx matte lip cream
  • use conditioner to shave. it smells nice, doesn’t clog ur razor like oils/creams do, prevents burns and bumps, and leaves legs feeling soft and smooth
  • ashy? no lotion? conditioner also works as a moisturizer in a pinch  
  • always soften ur skin with a hot towel before tweezing/shaving to prevent irritation
  • don’t use baby oil if u use condoms, it deteriorates the latex 
  • ALWAYS pull skin taut before waxing anything, even if someone is doing it for u, u gotta hold that skin and make it tight 
  • chances of queefing 500% increase if youre being hit from the back, arch ur back to prevent this
  • if u have trouble orgasming with ur partner or need clitoral stimulation, try the “pole position” (basically you straddle their thigh while doing funny business which is 👀👌👀👌 GOOD SHIT)

if you’re underaged, please don’t lie to your roleplay partner about your age just so you can write smut. do not do that to them, it isn’t fair. as someone who has been in that situation before, it is a terrible feeling to find out that the person you once thought was 18 that you wrote smut with is really a 13 year old. please give those of us that are over the legal age the chance to be aware and put a stop to it before we get ourselves in a situation we can’t get back out of.

Once, my partner was washing his hands in the bathroom, and I just heard him quite sincerely say: “Oh… I’m sorry…”

I thought about it for a few seconds, and then I yelled from a neighbouring room: “did you just accidentally drown a spider in the sink?”

This, of course, turned out to be exactly what happened.


Gauntlets (Hands)

Another armour writeup for ya. Some of these photos are repeats, but they help to explain my whole process.

1: Used cling wrap and tape method to mock up the gauntlet sections/details.

2-4: Cut apart tape gauntlet and transferred the pattern onto paper. Patterned the flared wrist extension piece by cutting a semi-circle into straight strips and taping them back together, essentially making a paper fan. The edges were cut into a webbed shape. This method of cutting and reattaching the strips was also used in the foam version of the gauntlets; each had strips that needed to be glued into shape before the whole gauntlet base got Worbla’d.

5: I carved the knuckle pieces by hand from Eva foam with scissors and attached them to the foam gauntlet bases so they would show through the Worbla.

6-8: Finger pieces. You’re looking at 15 pieces of Worbla and 15 pieces of foam per hand. They’re simple to assemble and shape, but time-consuming. Every piece had to be labelled individually and matched with its partner; I used a naming scheme of Finger-Section-Hand, e.g. “Ring 3R” for the third (lowest) section of the ring finger on the right hand.

9-10: An assembled set of gauntlets and all six gauntlet bases, which are now in the sealing stage. The little yellow pyramids are painter’s pyramids from Lee Valley, which elevate drying objects so that glue/paint doesn’t pool on your working surface.

- Kat

ch3648 asked:

i dont think that dc was queerbaiting with harley and ivy for years?? it was only just now. and cant two girls who have and established friendship just be friends sheesh. they would call each other friends (im only referencing pre n52). idk man ive been reading comics for years and only just now when i joined tumblr and read n52 did i ever think of them as a couple.

a.) I really don’t care for the tone of this message tbh. I’m not trying to attack you and maybe you didn’t mean to come across this way, but it sounds very condescending and judgmental. :/

b.) I’m fully aware that girls can be platonic friends with one another. 

c.) But as a bisexual person, I’m also aware that they can be romantic and sexual partners as well–which many fans have believed to be the case with Harley and Ivy due to panels/art like these:

This isn’t an instance of random character shipping among the Batman fandom. It’s something that’s been hinted at for YEARS and referred to as “queerbaiting” because DC danced around the subject until recently declaring them to be girlfriends. This meant a lot to me, both as a Harley/Ivy fan and as a bisexual girl, and I know a lot of people feel the same way that I do. 

You don’t have to agree with mine or anyone else’s views of Harley and Ivy, but I do think that you should try to see where other fans are coming from. 

Nope. Not possible for women’s soccer players to be anything but their relationships to others first and foremost. Can you even imagine a world where the headline would read, “Our Lions go back to being fathers, partners and sons today, but they have taken on another title – heroes.” Male athletes are assumed to be athletes all the time. Female athletes are seen to do it as a side job, which for some is true due to the disparity of pay. In Japan, the women’s team cannot be full time athletes because it doesn’t pay enough due to lack of sponsorship, despite the women’s team doing better than the men’s team the vast majority of the time. The women’s team is loved here and they do exceptionally well, and yet they don’t get half the respect or funding the men’s team does because… ??

anonymous asked:

Because Im very much a femme (my partner isnt) I like my dresses, my lipstick, i wear heels everyday and I have a alot of different friends, though when i tell people Im meeting up with a female friend they say "cool whatever" but if I say im seeing a guy friend they go "oooh lala ;) who is he?" they all know Im a lesbian, but this is the reaction I get, like my partner isnt real, do i have to shave my head and get some flannel shirts before people take me seriously as a lesbian?!?!

Oh, tell me about it! I know! It’s ridiculous. I’ve had people messaging me before asking me for advice on how to dress like a lesbian, and I’m just like, well, if you’re a lesbian, where whatever you want and bam, you’re dressed like a lesbian.

Why do people feel like you need to dress a certain way, or act a certain way to be a lesbian? It shouldn’t be so hard to be overtly feminine and be taken seriously as a gay woman!

Polyamory Struggles

*Disclaimer, this is my personal experiences with Polyamory, I completely support other poly styles, I intend no offense if your Polyamory interpretations/lifestyles are different than what I am posting below*

 I post a lot of good things, but sometimes we all struggle. Lately I have been and I figure it will be good to talk about it here where others can maybe feel a bit less alone or something. ***TLDR: This is not a break up post, its actually a good post about working through problems. 

Despite my love for both partners and my overwhelming desire to make things work through teamwork, sometimes things just aren’t want you want them to be. Sometimes you can deny reality and instead focus on a fantasy you want to see, and ultimately it only kicks you in the butt later. 

I’ve always kinda disliked women (and men) who are so optimistic about their partner being “perfect” that they don’t see how much their partner really is not at all going to be, or magically transform into, that perfect person, likely ever. 

Being poly has taught me a great many things, its taught me how to work through problems, but it has also taught me that anything is possible…and thats just not true. When you accept the people who you are with for exactly who they are you realize that somethings are actually not possible. That can be crushing. 

Im the sort of person who loves HARD. I’m clingy; I like sappy cute texts throughout the day. I like waking up next to my partner in the morning and seeing them, being able to hug them each and every day. That is perfection for me. Even if our lives get busy and we cant find a lot of time to devote to each other, just having them there to hug before bed is perfect. Historically speaking, I have long term serious relationships, my partners have been just as codependent as I, and we have moved in together within 6 months. Heck, in every serious relationship I’ve been in, I have been some form of engaged/promised by the end of the first year (or at least halfway through the second). This is commitment to me, its a traditional ideal, sure, but it’s how I feel safe and loved. 

Shortly after I first met Enigma, I fell in love. Even then, I called him my “Enigma” because he represents the exact opposite of the sort of guys I am normally attracted too. He’s nearly 6 years younger than me, he’s independent, he’s an extrovert (and by extension, flirtatious), he’s got that “pretty boy” face and gets hit on constantly, he’s never been in an adult relationship (let alone a poly one), and a zillion things in between. But despite all these things that made me insecure, I loved him and I was determined to make it work. From day one I decided that I disliked Poly hierarchy structure of “Primary and Secondary” because my heart loved both Enigma and Glowbug equally and so I put them on the same level. 

Nearly 3 years later, I’ve had to change that, and its not easy for me. 

Like many people newly in love, I tried to ignore the personality traits that didn’t fit in my idea of a future. I dreamed of a day when Engima would propose to me (even if not a legal ceremony), I imagined that in a year or so he would be living with us and we would be this big happy trio family. This was my dream. But it wasn’t and still isn’t his. 

Every year our apartment lease was up, I wanted him to move in, and every year he had a reason why he couldn’t. “I cant abandon my roommate”, “I have to live downtown because gas is too expensive to drive anywhere else.” or “I don’t think I can live with a kid full time”
It broke my heart every time because all I heard in my head is “He doesn’t want to live with you because he doesn’t want to wake up next to you…”

It’s selfish of me to expect him to be like my husband and any other person Ive been in a long term relationship with but I couldn’t help it. After many long talks about my expectations and his concerns about things it really came down to him being unsure. 

For myself, I know exactly what I want. I want him to live with me and for us to live happily ever after and grow old together. 

For him, he wants me. He doesn’t want to break up, but he doesn’t think he’s ready to live with my husband and kid. He’s afraid that we wont get along as well if we all live together. He has no clue what sort of future he wants (although he says he wants me there) but he is too unsure about his career, about his own family, about taking care of himself to promise me anything yet. 
In short, he’s an independent 24 year old adult who is afraid of many things, and trying to figure out life. 

He’s not like me. He’s not like Glowbug. He does not NEED a partner in life to hold hands with and go through all the troubles and adventures with. He feels he needs to figure out how to do it before bringing in someone else. 
He’s Different than me. 

When I realized what he wanted from me my brain immediately panicked. Whereas I had seen him on the same level as my husband, as a second husband. What Enigma wants is akin to best friend with benefits, not wife. I spent a long time trying to decide if I could be happy with that and for a while I didn’t think I could. 
How do you re-define a partner? 

It felt like we had broken up to ‘still be friends’ even though we hadn’t broken up at all. The only person who had changed, was me. I felt crushed. 

Then I started thinking about it from other angles. Im polyamorous. I have a husband who loves me unconditionally, who is probably the only person on the entire planet (aside from my son) who loves me unconditionally. He’s not going to leave me, I will always be safe and secure in his arms. Maybe, just maybe, if Enigma wanted to be more of a casual boyfriend…it would be okay. Maybe, Polyamory meant that Enigma doesn’t have to be perfect.

I know Enigma loves me, I really do. It may not be in the ways I want all the time but if I can accept his love for what it is, what he can offer, then we will be okay. 

So after years of hating a Poly hierarchy structure, I found myself in one because thats the best way to describe my relationship without expecting too much. 

Enigma is a secondary relationship, because thats what he wants to be. It’s not really what I want, in my heart he will always be equal, but my expectations have lowered to more realistic levels and I am hurt a lot less because I am able to enjoy my relationship without feeling let down. Im not losing anything aside from my own fantasy by accepting the relationship I am in.

The hardest part for me was actually listening to him say he wasn’t ready and not taking it personally. He just loves differently than I do, he shows it differently, and every single person around me (my psychiatrist included) have told me that he is obviously not trying to hurt me, he’s just not thinking about the same things I am. I simply cannot expect someone to be a mirror of my husband (or myself) and force them to be. It came down to one of the most important things I say when it comes to poly issues, 

‘Sit down, talk it all out. Share your feelings and needs. When its all said and done the only real question is can you accept this person and their problems and try to work through it? Or is it healthier to part ways?” 

I had a large period of time where I thought I couldn’t handle the reality of my relationship. I thought I would be constantly disappointed and depressed and thought it might be a good idea to break up so that he could be independent and I could stop expecting things that might never happen. Im still struggling if I am being honest.

As my psychiatrist says, Despite my contemporary and progressive relationship structure, I have very traditional relationship ideals. I see “serious” as a relationship moving towards cohabitation, marriage (or some other form of binding union) and planing our futures together. Thats exceptionally traditional. In fact, she has made me realize that for all the reasons some people choose Polyamory, I am poly by accident. I likely would not choose this lifestyle structure for myself unless all other partners were strictly sexual. Im Poly because I legitimately fell in love with two people and we all decided to work together to make it work. If I were monogamous, I likely would not have worked out with Enigma because his independence would drive me crazy. Because I am poly, its okay. Because Im poly Im about to hit 3 years with my boyfriend whom I love very much and not try to change who he is or what he wants just to make me happy. Because I am poly I have realized, this year especially, how truly remarkable my husband is for loving me and being exactly what I need every single day. 

I’m not poly because I chose to be, Im poly because my heart is and my partners love me enough to figure this crazy thing called life out. Like all relationships, its growing, learning and teamwork. Im learning about my own needs all the time and constantly re-evaluating my relationships to make them stronger. Do I still dream of a day when my boyfriend might live with us and/or I can somehow marry/commit to the guy? Yes. That wont ever die for me, (I AM a romantic after all…) but I CAN let go of the idea that it needs to be now, or next year. He’s proven to me in the past near 3 years that he isn’t going anywhere and he wants to be with me, that should be stronger than a silly ring or him moving in. 

in friends season one when Ross calls his ex wife and her partner “just buddies, you know how close women can get” that was the original “what’s better than this? gals being pals”

lips like sugar

Rating: Explicit

Pairing: Eren/Levi

Summary: The last thing Levi wanted was charity. But a sugar daddy? That doesn’t sound too bad.

FULL -  1 - 2 - 3 - 4

chapter four

There are several things Levi has done in his twenty-six years of life. Gotten ready for a date with a (probable) rich (definite) hunk isn’t one of them. He’s staring at the sparse clothing located in his single dresser drawer contemplating whether or not to throw himself off the top of the apartment complex now or later. There’s hardly anything located inside that Levi would consider date worthy, unless Eren likes his partner for the evening to be sporting a work uniform.

“This is impossible,” Levi mutters, eyes roving over the pile for what seems like the hundredth time. It’s not like staring at the items are going to somehow make more appear, so he doesn’t know why he hasn’t already just accepted his fate as completely hopeless. Where’s his fairy godmother when he needs one? Well, bippity boppity fuck his life, because Levi is pretty much guaranteed to look like something the cat dragged in tonight. Or vomited on the front porch.

Keep reading

Random thoughts and impressions: The Green Mill Murder

“My heart just did the oddest thing. Must be the champagne.”

“I’m so not surprised, it’s not even funny.” *resigned sigh*

“Did I succeed in concealing just how happy I am to see her?”

“God, she might be the most infuriating woman ever to cross my path, but I could just -”

“Let’s match-make our friends, to distract us both from the fact that we want to just duck in the back and…well.”

“ ‘I thought Mr. Freeman was your dance partner.’ How many men do you need in one night, Miss Fisher? And if this joker’s not careful, he’ll be going home with a shiner.”

“Is that French perfume I smell?”

“Is there no refuge from the woman? I came to the morgue for some much needed head space.”

“I do enjoy winding her up.”

“She makes me very dictatorial. And no, Jack, the morgue is NOT the place for the other things she makes you.”

“Do as you’re told, Miss Fisher, or I swear -”

“Damn it. The woman is ridiculously on the ball. I love it and hate it in equal measure.”

“I wonder if her lipstick would stay put…”

“Seriously? They’re about as mature as Jane. Less so.”

Cec: utter disdain. Bert: Let’s do that again!

“No. It can’t be. But who else would it be?”

“I am going to have a serious word with that woman.”

“What has our world come to, Collins?”

…entering just as Bobby Sullivan says: “I don’t want to have to hurt you!”

“Trying so hard not to laugh at Hugh. Mustn’t knock his confidence.”

“My smile could be construed as me trying to put you at your ease. Of course, it could also mean, ‘We both know which way this is going to go.’ Take your pick.”

“Ooh, scary face, Miss Fisher. But I’m enjoying this waaay too much.” 

“She’s mesmerising. I can’t take my eyes off her. I mean- damn!

“What did life feel like before she streaked across the firmament like a shooting star?”

I LOVE clumsy Hugh. So adorable.

“What has she got in there, and how can I get some?”

“That smells sooo good. I’m tempted.” *mouth watering*

“Yep. Lost the battle.”

“It’s like, I don’t even care what happens for the rest of the day.”

“She fed me. She gets a free pass.”

“She’s good. She knows the way to my…files.”

“She enjoys having some effect on a man?! Does that mean she always knows?! Crap, crap, crap.”

*puppy eyes* “Don’t blame me. It’s not my fault!”

The time when we started finishing each other’s train of thought, and sentences. 

“Is she for real?”

“I think she just might be.”

“Because if she’s just winding me up, that would be too cruel.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen a real woman before in my life.”

“And yes, the ass is still gorgeous.”

*doing a little internal happy dance*

“She loves me, she loves me not…”

“Forget it, Collins. Not sharing. Nope.”

“I can’t stop touching it. It’s so beautiful.”

Expressions perfectly capturing man’s eternal struggle when it comes to women.

Yuk yuk yuk yuck!

Jack: “I finished the food basket.”

Hugh: “I feel your pain, man.”

“That gratin…”

Ooh sassy Jack. Go, Jack, go! Depress this idiot’s pretensions.

“I can’t let an obviously innocent woman go to the gallows.” Either that, or he’s checking his breath just in case Phryne drops in. 

Harrowed Jack. My third favourite kind. Or is it fourth? Sod it, they’re all my favourites.

Sorry, guys, but where exactly did it land? It could be in either of two places, judging by your lines of sight. Unless it somehow split in half in mid air, because the sexual tension in the room was just too much for its little metal heart. 

“She has a fanciful imagination. Duly noted. Good. Good. So have I.”

“Just in case I miss anything, let me check ALL angles.”

“Here she comes, walking down the street…”

“She came when I summoned her! I could do a little waltz of happiness.”

“Bet you didn’t see that one coming, Miss Fisher! See, I can be even more wonderful than you thought possible.”

“She is glorious.”

“She is so beautiful, she makes me ache.”

“It makes me happy just to look at her. She’s so full of life and light and mischief. I could very easily find myself thinking, ‘My God, this woman is perfect.’”

“I want to solve cases with her every day.”

*forming certain unshakeable intentions with regard to a certain lady detective*


anonymous asked:

(this is mack, i cant answer your ask privately. just send an ask to me back to reply to this) this is the first time ive gone on tumblr since the last ask i answered on my blog. i havent been on your blog, or anyone else's since then. if it will help, i can tell you the city that my ip comes from so you can be sure its not me.

nice try but you were on way more recently than that as there were posts from last wednesday without your queue tag hmm uncanny

also tell your partner to stop changing urls and trying to hide from me. its no use ill find her stalker ass anyway