Long awaited, I know. Hope you enjoy the rest of the story! Also I just want to clarify the war Claire remembers in this chapter. It is a continuation of WW2, sort of. In this story, a war begins again after the twins are born and the war uses nuclear power.
“Where do you think she came from?”
“I have no idea, mo nighean ruadh.”
There was a long sigh before the voice began again.
“Her clothes are a
bit…queer and she looked at Willie so strangely, like she had seen him before.
It gave me a chill.”
There was a creek of the floor as someone moved to the other side of the room.
“And you’re sure ye have never seen her, perhaps at the castle when ye were a wee one?”
“No, Brian. I am
sure. Lord knows where she came from, but she’s been through a lot, poor thing.
We should look after her for now.”
“She’s English, leannain. Are you sure?”
The voices drifted
in and out of Claire’s ear like distant waves in the ocean. She could hear them, but could barley distinguish them from the roaring in her mind.
Time went by slowly in her mind. She fought to grasp
anything in the dark oblivion she was stuck in, groping for something familiar.
A flash of red danced behind her eyes and suddenly she remembered.
She sat up with a gasp
in the large bed, hands flung out on either side of her. She had seen her son!
“You’ll be knowin’
my husband, then?”
She jumped again when she heard the voice in the far left corner of the room and suddenly the dread
that had made her so sick in the first place came back. It hadn’t been her Brian
playing in his rightful home and it wasn’t Jamie sitting near her. It was Ellen Fraser currently sitting in the room, staring at her.
Jamie’s beloved mother. Jamie’s mother who would die
before she turned grey. One of the women she had named her daughter after. Another
pain stabbed at her heart as she thought of her other lost baby.
In any other circumstance, Claire would have been awed and amazed
at the chance to meet the famous Ellen. But seeing her meant that she hadn’t traveled to the
right time. Seeing her meant that her children were lost, just like her husband. Jamie.
“I…no,” she stuttered out, racking her brain for an
explanation. The aching pain from the crushing despair of not being with Jamie and her children made her voice rough and starchy with undeniable emotion in it.
Sweat formed all over Claire’s body and her heart pounded hard against her chest. She tried to take a few calming breaths to stop the panic.
Ellen’s head cocked to the side as she watched Claire fumble in bed, wringing the sheets between her hands and Claire suddenly
felt that if she lied, Ellen would see right through her. So, she simply decided to
tell the truth…with a few slight tweaks.
“I thought that your son was mine. His name is Brian and he looks a great deal like your own boy.”
Named after your husband, she said silently in her head. She thought it best not to mention it. Claire didn’t think
Jamie’s parents would accuse her of being a witch, but she wasn’t about to
take that risk.
“Have ye lost your son, then?” Ellen’s brows drew together in
concern and empathy as though she tried to imagine what it would be like to
lose her own son. “Is that why ye are here?”
Claire’s heart clenched at the though that she would know that
pain all too soon, but was she to warn her? What would happen if she did share her knowledge of her fate and the fate of Willie, who would die of small pox in but
a few years? Would she still have met Jamie? Would her children survive?
Clenching her eyes shut to block out Ellen’s face, she simply
nodded. “Yes, my son and my daughter. I’ve…I lost them both.” The pain once
more rippling across her body like a lash from a whip as she spoke.
Suddenly, she was surrounded by warmth, the smell of fire and
red hair. Ellen threw her arms around her and rocked her back and forth like a
child. The emotions of the past few days –hell the past few years – caught up
with her and the soft touch of a mother caused her to fall apart into Ellen’s warm arms.
“Shush, lass,” she whispered in her ear while brushing her hair away from her forehead. “Be still.”
The feeling of her red hair and the sound of comforting Gaelic
evoked a memory of a young man holding Claire on his lap while she fell apart after she fell through time. The man she had so desperately fought for and
failed to find.
The image of his face that flashed before her eyes made her sobs come harder. The face she had seen in her –their– children so often.
She remembered the time when she allowed herself to fully see it in her mind for the first time since their separation years ago.
With Japan and the United States going head to head in combat, the next thing that needs to be discussed is where the next atom bombs will be dropped…”
Frank sighed and punched the wall next to the radio in rage. Claire carefully reached out and turned the radio off before they both went mad.
“I thought these bloody wars had ended! Haven’t they taken enough of our lives! FUCK!”
Frank slammed the mantle with his fist, causing the photos of their family to wobble and shake.
“Please, you’ll wake the twins!” She spoke in a hushed yell, glancing up at the stairwell to make sure they hadn’t woken.
Frank’s hand immediately oozed with blood and his shoulders shook from repressed sobs.
Claire quietly walked over and laid a hand on his back lightly, feeling all the panic and despair she felt at the new war. The war to end all wars.
“They say that the next bombs will be dropped in the northeast,” his voice was raw and his fingers curled around the wood of the mantle. “It’s only a matter of time. We need to leave. Take the twins and go.”
A tear fell down her face as she thought of leaving their home. The home that just finally felt a little like home. “There isn’t anywhere safe, Frank. The war will follow us wherever we go.”
“But Canada is one of the only places that hasn’t been bombed yet, we could–”
“No,” she cut him off softly. He turned around to face her, face red and eyes glistening. She felt a pain in her heart that she couldn’t comfort him more, couldn’t be a wife to him, but that ship had sailed a long while ago. The only thing they could do now was be a comfort to each other.
“Canada will be involved as soon as next week. No one can sit this war out, not with atom bombs flying around.”
Frank reached out and grabbed onto her tightly, wrapping his arms around her middle so tight that she fought for breathe. She tentatively returned the embrace, remembering a time when that kind of enthusiasm from him would have made her giddy.
“I just…wanted better for them,” she couldn’t see his face but knew he was looking up at the stairs. “To not live in a time of such destruction.”
“I know,” she sighed, thinking of her children sleeping safe in their beds, as safe as they could be. Bomb sirens had been going off every day since last week, but nothing had come to the Boston area yet.
“Claire…there is one place safe,” Frank stepped back and looked down at his fingers, twisting his wedding band around, unable to look at her.
“Where could that…oh,” she blinked in shock at the suggestion.
The past. The stones.
She shook her head and went over to the window to gaze out at the dark street and pressed her forehead against the cool glass.
It was four years ago that she had fled the past because of its danger and the fall out from another war. Always another fucking war. Jamie had begged her to see their child safe, but now the past seemed like a fairytale compared to the hell the world was in now.
For the first time since she had left, Claire allowed herself to see Jamie in her mind. The mop of messy red hair, his lake-blue eyes, so tender as they looked at her. And for one brief, shining moment, she thought of her children meeting their real father.
But that couldn’t happen. He was dead.
A spasm of grief rushed through her and she shook her head hard and turned toward the stairs without a glance to Frank.
“No. I won’t take them there and I won’t discuss this again. Goodnight, Frank.”
She climbed the stairs as fast as she could, leaving the image of the stones and the highlands downstairs and in the past where they would always belong.
Instead, she crept into the room where her children were sleeping, blissfully unaware of the danger that was around them.
Brian slept on his back with his hands on his stomach and Ellena was on her side with both hands under her cheek.
Carefully, she reached out and placed a hand on Brian’s cheek, tracing his full cheek and pushing the memory of the man he looked so much like aside.
She walked over a few feet to her daughter’s bed to kiss her cheek and then walked to the door, gazing back at their still forms, cast in the nightlight.
“I promise I’ll keep you both safe. No matter what happens.”
The thought that she broke her promise made her cry even harder, hiccuping with the effort. She had failed her children. Ellen smoothed a hand down Claire’s hair and made a hushing sound.
“I dinna ken who ye are or why ye are here,” she said while
still keeping a close hold on her. “But I will help ye find your own bairns in
the best way I can.”
Her voice was warm like cinnamon and honey and her was skin soft like
cotton and it was the first time Claire had felt safe in a long while.
I am FED UP with reading post after post from Sam/Cait shippers shaming MacKenzie for what she wore to the pre-Oscar party. FED UP. I’ve seen jokes about her forgetting a cami (who wears camis under blazers anymore?), I’ve seen comments about how much skin was showing, how much it was showing off, how it looked like she forgot a top in order to look sexier, on how it was “gaping” and how trashy/skanky it looked. I’ve seen people suggest that she wore it to get Sam to notice her. It’s been comment after comment and I’m done with all this fucking misogyny.
Here’s some news, guys….women in a pant suit without a blazer under neath?
It’s a trendy look!!
*Gasp* the horror!
No, seriously…here are numerous examples…of many talented, accomplished women, many any MacKenzie’s age range…
The always gorgeous Olivia Wilde (with a race car behind her, also gorgeous…)
Evan Rachel Wood accepting an award for her acting…but she forgot a cami…
The very awesome Mandy Moore with…is that a bra sticking out??
Wow, so many women wearing so many gaping neck lines. Just wow.
Oh wait…is the problem only that MacKenzie is close to Sam? Is it different because she was wearing that around Sam?
Well thank god Queen Cait would NEVER show that much skin…
I don’t care if you don’t like MacKenzie. I don’t care if you think her and Sam are a fake relationship. I don’t care if you think she posts innuendo on her instagram (I mean, she doesn’t but one rant at a time). I certainly don’t care if you want to keep shipping Sam and Cait (have at it, really). I do care when you start shaming and judging a woman for daring to show some skin.
That’s some misogynistic bullshit.
There is NOTHING wrong with wearing a plunging/gaping or whatever else you want to call it neckline. There is NOTHING wrong with showing off your body and showing some skin. NOTHING. If it’s not your personal preference, that’s cool but a woman who feel comfortable doing so doesn’t deserve to be attacked and shamed for that decision. Even if it’s a woman you don’t personally like for whatever reason.
Especially when you praise another woman for doing the exact same thing.
Misogyny blows. It especially blows when it’s women hating on other women. And it runs rampant in the Outlander fandom and needs to stop.
Industry pros, entertainers and civilians assembled by the hundreds today for United Talent Agency’s “United Voices” rally outside the company’s Beverly Hills headquarters. UTA canceled its annual Oscars bash and organized the event after Donald Trump issued an executive order temporarily banning immigration from several majority-Muslim nations. The ban was repeatedly halted by Federal courts and the administration eventually abandoned it. Trump is expected to unveil another executive order on immigration some time next week.
“Outlander” star Sam Heughan was also on hand, telling TheWrap.
“We’re just here, not to bash anyone.” Europe, he said, wants “the best for this glorious country. America’s such a great country, we look up to you guys and we know you’ll do the right thing.”
By its conclusion, an estimated two thousand people attended the event, according to Beverly Hills PD.
But I can still recall every detail of the day when I saw the life I wanted sitting in a window. I sometimes wonder what would have happened if I’d bought that vase and made a home for it. Would that have changed things?
Friends, Enemies, Fucktards lend me your ears.....
I’ve been lurking about Social Media for longer than I care to admit following all things Outlander. For I am first and foremost enraptured by the story. Secondarily, I am fascinated by people. I like watching other humans. I enjoy puzzling out what makes them tick. I covet thought processes. Tumblr has turned out to be a goldmine of sorts in regard to both passions. I’ve learned a lot.
Don’t fret, I’m not here to detail out my perception of the how and why of a mysterious chemistry between two actors timorous of new found fame and its aftermath. Shipper, Anti, Fence Sitter, or Rainbow Brite Diva, no matter how you categorize yourself, I think the one thing that we all can agree on is:
👉🏻They don’t want us talking about the matters of their hearts. 👈🏻
What if we all stopped discussing it? Maybe that’s all they want. If every Outlander Tumblr blogger committed to never posting another word, musing, article, or ask about the intimacy of these two then the fandom could exist without doing harm to the very ones we claim to love. Make no mistake, all this public speculation is hurting them deeply.
I think of all the gifts they have received and all the money given to charity as homage to them and it’s clear that the vast majority of fans are a gracious, generous, and grateful bunch. Why then can’t we as a fandom give them the one gift that costs nothing and that they can never bestow upon themselves… Privacy.
It’s all they want. It’s all they have ever wanted. I say we give it to them. If there is no demand from fans for the information, the vulturous media will stop trying to undermine their efforts to control their own private world. It begins and ends with us right here on Tumblr.
Boring as this may sound, I promise from here on out not to post, like, reblog, snark, or jackass about anything involving the private lives of Sam or Cait.
I had a close friend die yesterday it hit me hard and I shall miss her terribly. But as I sit here reading the posts from today I realized that my friend was a very wise woman. In all the time that I have known her she has never gotten wrapped up in a fandom or shipped anyone. But she loved to listen to our group of friends talk about our latest ship. She was a fan of the OL books but never watched the show, so during the past couple of years she has watched our circle of friends with the keen interest of a Psych Nurse which she had been for over 40 years.
A few things that she said have stuck with me and that I think are applicable now. “In this era of instant information/communication and constant observation, life is much like an ice berg, we only see the tip. It is not in human nature too make ourselves and those we love vulnerable by sharing our lives with outsiders. Lives lived in the public eye are about smoke and mirrors.”
So I guess you could say its all about perspective. I know what I feel and what I see. But I don’t really know what is going on with Sam and Cait…except for Hollywood is all about “Smoke and Mirrors” it always has been and always will be.
Let me have my moment… then we’ll get back to hopefully a Better Fandom without all the shipping noise. Let’s let the Noise go and get back to the Books, show, and production of OL and all the other good things, MPC and WCC on the Real side. But I had to…. I just had to have this.