Vi startade dagen med omelett följt av en liten golfrunda innan vi landade ute på landet. Det första jag gjorde var att klippa gräset och sedan började vi med maten. Niklas pappa kom även förbi och gjorde oss sällskap vid middagen. Nu sitter vi ute och njuter av den vackra utsikten ☀️
It was more of a face crank tbh. 😂😂 cred: @bjjcomics @whitebeltbjj @bjjdating #bjj #bjjmeme #bjjmemes #jiujitsu #brazilianjiujitsu #whitebeltbjj #bjjdating #jits #bjjproblems #whitebeltproblems #wbbjj #bjjcouples #oss #bjjlifestyle #mma #ufc #judo
After a bad breakup with your boyfriend who you have dated on and off for a year and a half, you cannot help but run to your closest friend, Jongup, confiding with him every details and complaints of what have happened between the two of you. Due to Jongup’s quiet and loyal nature, he sits and listens to you even if you were repeating the same thing all over.
As months gone by, you are slowly coming out from a broken heart with Jongup’s help. He always takes you out as a friend, picks up your phone call at the first ring, and is always opened for what you have to say. With his patience and support, you are able to smile again. But one day, you have encountered your ex-boyfriend again. He, still the same person, asked you to come back with him. You deny, obviously, because you know that history always finds its way in repeating, but he doesn’t give up and continues reasoning with you, in which you become uncomfortable and wanted to take leave.
As you begin walking away, he grabs onto your wrist and orders you to stay with him. “Let me go!” You protest, trying to yank his grip off.
“Not until you say yes.” Your ex continues with his intense stare.
“What’s going on?”
A sudden voice comes from behind.
You turn behind and see Jongup walking to the scene with his hands in his pocket. You froze speechlessly, not wanting him to get involve. Jongup comes in between the two of you and forces your ex to release his hands from you.
“(Your name), you know this guy?”
Your ex exchange glances to you and back to Jongup.
Before you can answer, Jongup interrupts. “She’s my girlfriend.”
The two of you turn to him with stun.
Jongup continues. “Making you in no place to grab her like that.” He gently pulls you closer to him and wraps his arms around you. What will you do?
I remember coming
home one day after I picked up the clothes from the laundry. I heard my husband
shuffling through his office room. “Dae Hyun?” I called, opening the door. He
looked at me with a smile. He didn’t look too happy or sad, he looked more
He turned back toward his desk, seem
like he was ignoring me. I decided to get in and see what he was up to. “Dae
Hyun, what are you doing?” I asked in curiosity.
“I cannot talk now, honey.” Dae Hyun
spoke. I stared at his actions. He just stacks paper into a folder and slides
them on his hands.
“What’s going on?” I continue to
ask. Dae Hyun stops the shuffling and finally done sliding everything in a
folder. He turns around and looked at me no longer with any smile.
“I need to get going.” He suddenly
“Now?” I asked as he just nodded his
head. “Do want me to do anything?”
“No, it’s OK. Don’t wait for me.” He
smiled. I stared at my husband as he walked out.
For the entire afternoon, I kept my
eyes on the front door. I wait for my husband to arrive but he still hasn’t to
get time go faster, I began to clean the house over and over. I didn’t know how
many times I did so before I heard a knock on the door. Finally, I thought, Dae
Hyun is finally coming home. He should be home now.
At the door, I instantly stop
smiling. There were two police officers on the front. One female and one male.
I just stared at him, hoping this wasn’t concerning about Dae Hyun.
“Are you the wife of Jung Dae Hyun?”
The woman officer asked.
“Yes, is something wrong?” I asked.
“Is this your husband?” She asked,
handing over a photo. I grabbed onto the photo and only took a quick glance of
“Mr. Jung is charged with crime of
domestic violence and sexual assault.”
“That doesn’t make sense. Dae Hyun
would never do anything involved with that.” I handed the photo right back.
“I know it’s alarming but understand
that we just want to make sure you are safe.” The male officer jumps in when he
sees how frustrated I got.
“Where is he?” I looked at the two
officers for a positive opportunity.
“Before we can capture him, he had
taken off. We are now on the search for him.” The woman officer continued.
“What’s going to happen?” I asked.
“We want you to stay here and wait.
Close everything and make sure you don’t open the door. If your husband come
home, contact us as quick as you can.” She suggested and handed over a card to
me. I took the card and did not bothered to read it.
“Thank you…for informing me.” That
was all I can say.
“Stay safe, ma’am.” Both of the
officers bowed and left. I just slowly closed the door. I didn’t want to
believe their words. Dae Hyun, my husband, would never do anything that
Suddenly, something in me jerked me
to look around the house. I walked straight to the window to shut them tight. I
went every single window, making sure everything was in its place. I even made
sure that all the lights were turned off.
Throughout the night, I lay on the
sofa in the dark. I didn’t bother to turn the lights on because it wasn’t
necessary. Instead, I stayed in the dark and thought about what the two
officers had told me. The news was a shock but it had me thought more about my
husband. He has the potential to do something unexpected. I tried to push my
thoughts away, hoping this was all of a fake. However, I couldn’t.
Dae Hyun wasn’t
returning back. He vanished since noon and passed his leave from work. I was
sure that he wasn’t coming back. He’ll call if he had something to do.
Before I can close
my drowsy eyes, I heard a knock on the door. Startled, I stared at door. Again,
a knock came. I stared and sat up. Suddenly, the knock became a bang. I
nervously stared as I quietly sat up.
“Honey! It’s me, Dae Hyun.” Dae Hyun’s voice
appeared. I stood by the door, wanting him to leave. “Open up, honey!” My
husband called through the door. I walked over to the front door and slowly, I
moved to the side window to see who it was. Dae Hyun, he finally came home. I
pulled away from the curtains immediately, hoping he wouldn’t see me.
“Honey, I know you are in there! Please let me
in!” His knocks were no longer calm anymore. His palms were slamming hard. He
began to rattle the doorknob for any chances to get in. “Soon Hee! I know that
the police might’ve come by and told you about all of these stuffs but let me
in to explain!” He insisted.
I shook my head
and I began to cry. It was probably true then. It was true that he did
committed some sort of crime. I didn’t want to hear any of this and tried to
step away from the floor but I couldn’t. I knew that I would collapse and he
would hear me. I kept my mouth shut and ears opened.
“Soon Hee! Just
let me in! Let me explain!” Dae Hyun still had his calm voice but more full of
fear. “It’s urgent! I need to talk to you!” He slammed the door and yelled my
name over and over again.
I stood and looked at the door. I
didn’t want to believe what I am hearing. He wanted to talk to me. That made me
scared that I couldn’t even trusted my husband. I didn’t want him to hear me. I
buried my face down to my arms. I didn’t want to hear his voice as well. I made
sure that I just closed my eyes, hoping everything will all go away.
Luckily that I was able to get away
from that life. I didn’t want to be a part of anything horrible. It would be a
risk to live in a living nightmare. After I had divorced my husband, things
have been easier. I was able to find a better job, a better home to stay. I
stayed home once in a while during the weekdays because I just happen to stay
at work. I never really want to come home anyway. It was probably because after
I had found out that my husband’s dark side. I tried to stay away from him as
far as I can. So I continue to work late to make enough to actually go further
I yawned once I opened my door. I
was tired but at least I was glad it was a Friday night. I can finally sleep
for tomorrow morning. My favorite time of the weekends. Though I was exhausted
from the long day, I make sure that everything was already shut. I already knew
that everything was sealed shut as expected but I just wanted to make sure. It
just became a habit that I always have to do this. The kitchen, the living
room, the hallway window, the office room and my room. Perfect as it was this
morning. This has become a part of my procedures to my daily life. I just feel
that I cannot be peaceful if nothing is closed. That’s just one thing I hate.
Me and my
I enter in my room, taking my shoes
off. My fingers go directly to my coat and begin to unbutton it. I placed the
coat gently on my chair along with my purse. I grab my hair band, brushing my
hair back. I didn’t care what it looked like. I prepare to wash up and change
into my comfort clothes to sleep. Just when I finished with my hair, I realize
a small breeze in my room. I look around my room and see my window opened just
a little. Probably about seven to nine inches open.
Slowly, I walk over and look at the
window. A thought instantly sparks. I begin to think about someone had finally
found their way into my home. Whoever the person was, maybe they were still
here. I shake my head mentally and deny the thought. I decide to just think the
other way around. I probably just forgot to close the window before I left in
the morning. Yet, that thought did not made me felt any better. I clearly knew
that I would never open the windows unless I am home. Without any further
thoughts, I just quickly close the window down shut and lock it.
My finger touched the blind stick,
almost closing the shades in. Suddenly I stopped the moment I feel an unusual
presence surrounds me.
“Soon Hee.” The familiar voice calls
from behind. My fingers stop moving. I must be hearing things. Of course, that
wasn’t believable. Then, I force myself to turn around.
Right across the room, I see his
silhouette figure. Without a doubt, my husband is standing there. Being
divorced for over an eight months, I am still able to recognize him in the dark
no matter what. The moonlight shines to him when he walks forward. My husband
still looked the same when I last saw him in our marriage except he seemed he
has aged. His hair now black, spilt ends. His innocent eyes that look stressed.
His skin had become paler. I couldn’t say anything. I am in shock to see him. I
swore that I had locked everything before I went to work in the morning. It was
impossible. How can he get in when I locked everything? It honestly didn’t make
“What do you want?” I ask, wanting
him to get away.
“Soon Hee, I’m not going to hurt
you.” Dae Hyun walks closer. I couldn’t avoid his stare coming closer. I miss
seeing him, but this isn’t the same anymore. I begin to move away from the
window. I knew that I didn’t have any chance to get out from the window. My
chance for the door wasn’t possible as well. Either way, I knew there was no
chance to get out at all.
“Don’t get near me, please.” I
slowly make my way to towards the door than just standing here.
“Soon Hee, don’t say that. It’s just
me, Dae Hyun, your husband.” Dae Hyun calmly speaks with a breaking voice. He
comes closer, already halfway of the room. My body begins to break out into a
cold sweat, nervous about his next move. Looking at the door, this is the
chance that I am willing to take.
“Get away Dae Hyun! Don’t you dare
to come any closer to me! I swear!” I begin to cry, afraid of my life. Yes,
this is Dae Hyun. The man I was once married to but I cannot allow myself to
learn how to love him again. I am too afraid to do so. He had hidden a secret
away from me. A secret I did not know at the time of our marriage.
Trying my best, I move towards the
door and reached for the doorknob. Before I can even pull, Dae Hyun grabs my
wrist. I suddenly yell in panic. He turns me around and hugs me. I start to
cry, covering my mouth. I am terrified. I had no idea what is going to happen
to me. My fear corrupts our embrace.
“It’s OK honey, it’s OK.” Dae Hyun
tighten me closer. I don’t want to get close with him but he wouldn’t let go of
me. His hand huddle around my back and with his other hand, he held my head.
“Just stay put. I just want to hold you.”
“No…” I cry through my mumbled words
as I move around to avoid him. It didn’t help anything. I just make myself more
"Sh…Soon Hee, don’t be afraid. It’s
Dae Hyun.” Dae Hyun brushes the back of my hair. I silently cry, continuing
shaking my head. I can feel him leaning against my shoulder. “Do you know how
much I need you? It was so heartbreaking to stay away. Whenever I came and
finally found you, you were always gone. I could never come to you when I
needed. I didn’t want to but I had to follow you. It sounds crazy right?”
I just silently continue to let my
tears come down. I didn’t want to act up. Something may happen. “I became so
desperate in having you back in my arms. I’m so glad when I found you.” Dae
Hyun pulls away from me, just staring at me.
“I’m sorry, Soon Hee. I’m sorry.” He
begins to softly rub my cheek. His hands pull my hands away. I just stare down
to avoid his eyes. He just slowly lifts my face up. There it is. His gentle and
innocent smile, like how I remembered. “Don’t be afraid all right?”
I still remember his face. He just
looks sadder than before. Dae Hyun wipes my tears. I don’t bother to say
anything or do anything. I am just scare in his arms. He hugs me once more,
closing his eyes with a sigh.
The entire night, I didn’t bother to
talk. Dae Hyun didn’t speak as much either. I wanted to insist him to go away
and don’t ever come close to me but he was always stubborn. I knew there would
be no point to say anything so I didn’t want to fight with him.
Dae Hyun wanted to stay with me so
we both just happen to lay in my bed. His arms circulates my waist, I can feel
him breath against my chest. I couldn’t help myself but just look at him
innocently sleep in my arms. I slowly almost reach to brush his hair but I hold
myself back. I couldn’t possibly do this. Seeing my ex-husband so close to me
again no longer feels the same. I slowly tried to push myself away from him but
he didn’t want to let me go. Dae Hyun did not bother to open his eyes and kept
them closed. I calm myself down and decide to go what he wants for the night.
I wake up. The window open up
halfway with its blind open. I can see the sunrise peeking over the sky. I
stared around, seeing an empty space besides me. I quickly get away from my bed
and search around the house. I check every piece of the room to make sure
everything was in its place. I come back to my room. I see a note besides my
purse. The note didn’t say much except that he is sorry about what had happened
and will see me soon.
I begin to search for a new place to
live in. I will usually walk in apartments if I saw a sign that it’s for rent.
Sometimes I would drive by a neighbor and quickly call the owner of that place.
Before the weekend can wrap up, I already packed what I need and left the
house. I move away, leaving most of my belongings and furniture behind. I
didn’t have the time to take them. It was best if I just moved out. This time,
I had decided to move into an apartment. It would be smaller and much easier to
see everything instead of a home.
At the same time, things didn’t feel
the same anymore. Coming back home feels different. I was no longer turning the
front step of a home but an apartment. I had neighbors much closer to me,
divided by walls. There were no floors except for a flat apartment on the third
floor. I try to adjust myself into this apartment life.
I close the door, seeing the empty
living room with no sofa or television set. This definitely did not feel like
home. I sigh, going to the room to put my belongings away. I didn’t feel like
eating tonight. Just to make sure, I take a look all over the apartment. The
windows and railing door were shut tight like I did this morning. No one
around. My head starts to pound so after I had changed to comfortable clothing.
I wash up and goes straight to sleep.
A good seven days passed by. I begin
my habits again. Even if I became restless and hungry more than I expected, I
continue to act as if nothing is going on. It is probably because I pushed
myself to work for more hours.
Sometimes I even forget that I live
here. Slowly, I walk in. I almost walk into the room but I smell something. I
begin to ignore my tiredness and throw my bag and shoes near the hallway
entrance. I make my way to the kitchen in a hurry. There I see plates on the counter,
covered. I turn the lights on. Once my hands touch the covers, I can feel the
heat. The food were freshly cooked.
I didn’t bother to peak into this
plates. I am definitely sure that the landlady did not do this. Even if she
always help or check on me, I knew she would not do so. If she had something to
give me, she would hand me food in person. I look around to see if there are
any changes around the kitchen. The pan and the pot is on the dishwasher. I
shake my head, coming forward. I never have time to pull the pot and pan out. I
never have time to stop to eat dinner. It couldn’t be. I shake my head and just
decide to go down the landlady myself.
I pace myself to the first floor. I
decide to lightly knock on the door when I did not seen her at the front
counter. The door slowly opens. I see the landlady.
“Is there something going on?” The
landlady asks. I look at her, trying to think what to say. Suddenly, she starts
with a question. “Is there a problem with the toilet?”
I shake my head and start something
different. “I’m sorry to bother you like this. There’s something I am curious
about.” I sigh. “By chance, did anyone drop by any time today while I went to
The landlady thinks for a while with
her eyes wondering around. I just patiently wait, not wanting to rush her to
“No.” She shakes her head.
“Are you sure?” I look hardly at
She thinks again. I begin to feel
unsure about her answer. She looked like she forget things easily for a
middle-aged woman. The landlady nods her head. “Oh, I remember clearly now.
There is this gentleman asking if you are living here.” She answers.
“How did this gentleman look like?”
I continue questioning.
“He had spilt black hair. He has big
eyes and heavy cheekbones. A bit of thick lips. He’s a light tan skinned man
and about this tall.” She measures the height above her head and adjusting it
up, still measuring. Without even listening to her describing, I knew who it
was. I begin to not believe this is coming true.
Dae Hyun has finally found me after
a week since he last came. I stare at landlady. “What did you tell him?” I ask
one last time.
“Nothing. I just answer his
questions if you live here.”
“He did not ask you anything else?”
“Why no. Do you think I would give
information without consents? No, I wouldn’t do that.” She exclaims. Quickly,
she looks at me. “Did something happen?”
“No, nothing happen. Thank you. Good
night.” I bow and left without even caring for what she has to say. I rush back
up the stairs, entering my apartment.
Everywhere I stand, I can still feel
his presence. I don’t know he is able to find me. The man I was once married
used to be a warmed heart person but he had done something wrong that made him
darker than ever. There was something that had changed him.
I begin to feel shaking. I slowly
sit myself down in the living room. I thought getting away from my husband. I
believed that I have done well enough to get away. I was just too glad and I
thought I succeed. My eyes begin to sting. My tears are finally falling down. I
try to hold myself in but it didn’t work. I just had to let them come down. I don’t
know when this is going to end. My husband would never stop. He will chase me
until the end. Who knows how long this will go. I face around once more, just
in case he is in here. No one around. Pure loneliness and darkness.
All I can decide to do is to move
out once more. I know this won’t help but it’s the least I can do.
Det som inte fick hända har hänt. Jag har varit tagen av dig, helt besatt av tanken av oss i tio månader sedan jag sov hos dig och du inte rörde mig utan att fråga. Jag har förälskats i varenda liten detalj med dig, jag har väntat, hoppats, överlevt och varit helt ofokuserad pga av dig. På fyllan för två veckor sedan vid tvåtiden på natten ringde jag och berätta allt. Hur jag tycker om dig och vill va med dig, hur jag inte ens fattar själv att jag kan känna såhär för en person jag knappt känner men att du ändå är den finaste jag vet. Ett trettio minuter långt samtal. Du blev rörd, generad och tyckte det var fint, modigt och väldigt oförberett. Du fick ångest för att jag haft ångest för att jag burit på detta. Du sa att du gillar mig och tyckte att vi skulle ses. Du sa “åh herregud” när jag sa att du är den finaste jag mött och att du fattar att det kan bli så ibland. Du lovade att inte berätta för någon. Du hörde inte av dig. Jag var så glad att jag inte kunde andas normalt. Iförrgår hörde jag av mig. Du sa att du tänkt en del. Att du borde sagt det tidigare. Att det är inte det att du inte gillar mig eller inte vill träffa mig för det ville du sa du men du sa att du inte har tiden till att starta något nytt. Du sa att du är stressad och tiden räcker inte till. Du sa att du inte ville göra mig ledsen eller besviken. Att du hoppas på att vi fortfarande kan höras för att du gillar att prata med mig. Ja sa att det var lugnt, att jag förstod när jag menade tvärtom och började gråta. Jag sa att vi ska definitivt ändå hålla kontakten men fan heller. Fan heller. Jag satte mig ensam i vår gamla snickarbod på golvet. Jag grät så jag skrek och inte kunde stå upp och hamnade i fosterställning. Jag fattade ingenting och fick en panikattack där på golvet. Jag körde ner fingrarna i halsen och kräktes upp allt, kanske att ångesten följer med tänkte jag. Jag tog en cigg, rökte samtidigt som det rann snor ur min nästa och tårar längs min kind och Kristian Antillas Livet är det som pågår medan du väntar på sådant som aldrig händer spelades i mina hörlurar och jag brände mig på låret med ciggen. Kände knappt av det. Jag kräktes igen till låten. Jag tycker så mycket om dig fattar du inte det. Det är det här som är det riktiga knarket. Vad är någonting värt om jag inte får va med dig? Jag vill fortfarande ha dig, hoppas fortfarande, kommer alltid vänta, kommer aldrig va över nej överlever inte det här. Kan inte äta kan inte sova kan bara tanken av att vilja ha dig så det gör ont i hela kroppen som gör att jag bryter ihop flera gånger under dagen i badrummet, i solstolen, i duschen, när jag står i garderoben, när jag bäddar sängen eller när jag låser upp ytterdörren. Du gör mig så svag, jag skulle kunna dö för att det ska bli vi. Du är allt jag vill ha. Är det det här som är och kallas för kärlek? Vad fint. Jag vill inte leva mer.
Han tog min kärlek och sa att det var skönt att jag förstod