Sometimes it seems like we’re all living in some kind of prison. And the crime is how much we hate ourselves. It’s good to get really dressed up once in a while. And admit the truth: that when you really look closely? People are so strange and so complicated that they’re actually… beautiful. Possibly even me.
I’d love for you to check out a new story that I will be posting Called A Teacher’s Envy. This involves a character based on Jared Leto’s well-known character Jordan Catalano from the hit show, My So Called Life. Please check out the preview below. And please feel free to start reading on my wattpad soon! The amazing cover is by @letosangels!!
First Chapter out in the fall!
Ms. Harper is one of the finest high school teachers at Freeman High School. One of her students, Jay, is developing an extreme crush on her. After one fateful tutoring session, they both kiss and he suddenly vanishes for the rest of the year. When he returns his senior year, he knocks Ms. Harper off her feet. Trying to remain appropriate, she consistently denies her feelings from him, but Jay insists on break down her walls through seduction. She slips into his trap as they enter a passionate love affair, but struggles to keep it under wraps from the computer science teacher who has pined and vied Ms. Harper’s attention for years. He becomes obsessed over Ms. Harper and Jay’s relationship as envy clouds his judgments.
Will the obsessions of both student and colleague lead to Ms. Harper’s demise or will she leave unscathed in this messy love triangle?
“Oh, I didn’t know anyone was in here …” “Well you could have knocked.” Jared interrupted with annoyance lacing his voice. “I…I’m sorry.” (Y/N) said as she looked down at the dark floor, silently wishing it would open up and swallow her. She didn’t like confrontation and with Jared it seemed to always be an unknown battle. At least from an innocent bystanders view it did. She had never actually talked to the dejected boy hunched over at the table. “The light wasn’t on outside the door so I assumed it was empty.” “The light wasn’t on for a reason.” Jared said a little calmer as he looked over his shoulder at (Y/N). She could see half his face bathed in the red light of the room. It made him look even more dark and mysterious than he seemed. She had to admit that he did look great in black and red and the room enhanced those qualities.
“I don’t turn the light on because I don’t want people to know I’m in here.” Jared explained as he turned his attention back to the bin filled with developer liquid.(Y/N) thought before she responded. Should she even respond or just apologize again and make a bee line for the door? She wanted to leave, for so many reasons. But she couldn’t. It was like the jet black floor was made of tar sticking her feet to where they stood, never to move again. But she did move however…and that was forward to see just what Jared was up to. Let’s be honest, the curiosity was getting the best of her and she wanted..no , she needed to see what he was developing in here on his own. I bet it’s pictures of some half naked girl. She thought with a pang of jealousy. Or pictures of the band at practice. Yep, it’s definitely going to be girl, cars, or guitars considering who we’re talking about here. She thought to herself. She shouldn’t be so judgmental and normally she’s a very accepting and understanding individual. It’s just with Jared she didn’t really have much to go on. Those three things seemed to be his main interests. Jared finally sensed her approaching him from behind timidly and spun around in a flash looking defensive.
He put himself between (Y/N) and the bins blocking her line of sight. (Y/N) tried to peek over his shoulder but with her luck they hadn’t developed all the way.
(Y/N) internally groaned. All she could make out was a shadow figure that appeared to be a silhouette of a person. Well that didn’t answer many questions. She thought, slightly aggravated. She couldn’t get a glimpse into what Jared would deem a worthy subject of his time and attention. I was probably close with the hot girl guess though. “What are you doing?!” Jared said alarmed with wide eyes and then tightened his lips into a firm line.
(Y/N) furrowed her brows and looked at him before darting her eyes over his shoulder and back to his questioning face.Geez he must of just put those pictures in there. She thought disappointed like a child who didn’t get their way. “I…I was wondering what you were developing ,that’s all.” She said in a careful tone. “Why are you so afraid I’d see them?” Well for starters he didn’t want anyone in here in the first place (Y/N)! That should be your first clue. Her conscience argued in her head before Jared could answer the now stupid but obvious question. “Because it’s private and none of your business, that’s why.” He countered. “Plus … I was in here alone ,if you don’t recall five minutes ago when you rudely barged in here uninvited.”
Ouch, that hurt a little. (Y/N) thought looking back down to the hard floor again as if it could save her. Told you so! Her conscience chimed in. Gahhhhh! Shut.Up. You’re not helping. (Y/N) defended back battling with her inner thoughts. Jared just narrowed his blue eyes that seemed to glow in the red light of the room and stared at her awaiting a response, an apology, anything really.
She always does that. He thought to himself curiously. It’s like she’s a million miles away when she’s in fact standing right in front of you. (Y/N) finally spoke breaking Jared from his thoughts. “I wasn’t trying to be rude…Jared…I just came in to grab something for Mrs. Fletcher.” (Y/N) said crossing her arms and looking up at him hopeful his foul mood would change.“ And when I saw you were working on something my curiosity got the best of me. Sorry if I overstepped.” (Y/N) stated sadly as she walked across the room in quick strides to grab the folder of completed photos she originally came in to retrieve. Honestly when she saw Jared she completely forgot what she even came in here for. He seems to do that whenever he’s in close proximity, make her forget. Jared’s eyes traveled from her face out to her hand clutching that folder like it’s a life line. Maybe she wasn’t just being nosey after all. Before he could say anything (Y/N) turned on her heal and walked away from him as fast as her Adidas sneakers would carry her. Leaving Jared in the dark room, alone with his secrets.
“It’s fucking raining.” Jared said slightly disappointed in the weather this morning. He was standing in the foyer of his small house with his forehead now pressed against the old glass storm door. Foyer…people always use such pretentious words to describe parts of a home. It was still just the living room but a checkered laminated square space in front of the front door. Just big enough for a door mat to wipe and park your shoes. My shoes are going to get drenched walking to the car. Jared thought as he felt a slight coolness seep into his body from the glass he was leaned against. He looked down from his view of the now small pond that used to be his front walkway and watched his breath fog up the clear, cold, glass. “Honey! Do you need the umbrella today?” His mother yelled from around the wall in the kitchen. Jared stood up straight and turned towards her slightly smiling at the gesture. “No mom, it’s pouring out. You can take it.” He stated politely as he walked closer to the kitchen. Why do all the families around here only have one umbrella anyway? “I’m a man now remember? A little rain isn’t going to hurt your sweet little boy mom.” Jared jested with a cocky tone to his voice. His mom held her hand to her heart playing along. “Heavens no child.” She said dramatically, “I almost forgot that you won’t melt …” “Yeah, he’ll float.” Shannon interrupted as he walked down the hallway to tell Jared he was ready to go.
Their mother just laughed and shook her head at the brotherly banter while she added more sugar to her morning coffee. Jared turned his attention to his slightly older brother rolling his eyes in the process.
“Ha.. Ha.. very funny.” Jared said feigning amusement. “But are you ..finally ..ready to go? You’ve been in the bathroom forever. I was starting to think I had a sister and not a pain in the ass brother.” Jared said leaning his back against the white and worn kitchen counter with his arms crossed, an expecting look on his face. Shannon just chuckled and shook his head in disbelief at his brother. “Yeah you’re one to talk. Tell me … did you purchase that eyeliner yourself or do you just share mom’s makeup?” Shannon said with his eyebrows raised high trying to hold back his laughter.
Jared scoffed uncrossing his arms and looked at his mother who was smiling back at him trying not to laugh at her boy. Jared averted his attention back to his brother without a word to her. “ A lot of great musicians have worn makeup before.” Jared finally retorted to Shannon not wanting to even have this conversation again. It’s bad enough he had to catch shit about it at school let alone from his own flesh and blood. “Whatever you say Gene Simmons…. just be careful in the rain. It’ll make your mascara run.” Shannon said before grabbing his army green jacket off the dining room chair. Jared sighed out loud giving his mom a don’t even dare look before following Shannon to the front yard .“I don’t even wear mascara.” Jared mumbled to himself. Asshole. He thought as he flipped the black hood of his jacket up before the warm rain could soak him to the bone. The two brothers jogged to Jared’s black '67 Chevy Impala parked in the wet grass and got inside the hot and stale air filled car which was now a safe haven to them from the elements. I’ll be surprised if we don’t get stuck in the yard. Jared thought to himself turning the key in the ignition. The car that was just echoing the sound of raindrops thumping the roof moments ago suddenly rumbled to life. Shannon immediately started playing with the radio trying to find some music amongst the morning talk shows and static on the old car radio. Here goes nothing. Jared thought as he put the car in reverse and turned with his hand placed on the black leather of the bench seat to look out the rear window streaked with tiny little rivers of water running down it. The car started to roll backwards and jolted as the thick tires left the soft, muddy front yard and gripped onto the slick, solid pavement of their street. “That’s my girl.” Jared said out loud with a sexy grin on his proud face, tapping the dashboard gently with his hand as if she would break otherwise. Shannon just looked out the passenger window at the dense gray clouds blanketing the sky and laughed lightly at his brother. “Yeah the only girl you’re gonna get.” Shannon innocently joked. “Shut the fuck up Shan.” Jared quickly responded.
“Maybe you can meet a girl while you walk to school after I kick you out my goddamn car.” Jared countered his brother with a bored expression on his face looking over at him dead serious. Shannon held his hands up in surrender. “Aright,alright. You got me little bro. I’ll stop picking on you, ok?” Shannon said with a smile dropping his hand back down to his lap.
Meanwhile the back tires left rooster tales of rain in their wake as Jared drove over the speed limit down the empty country road. I wonder who shit in his cornflakes this morning? Such a drama queen . Shannon thought silently in the passengers seat glancing over to Jared , careful not to make eye contact. You’d think he’s in a hurry to be somewhere at this speed. They were only heading to school after all and neither one of them were really thrilled to be there. They lived in Kinder, Louisiana. A small town in Allen Parrish and home to Kinder High School. Today was the first day of Senior year for the brothers. Neither of them were thrilled but Shannon was more of the “go with the flow” relaxed type that made jokes to ease the days events. Jared on the other hand was a different personality. They were like two sides of a coin. He always seemed to have so much running through his head that kept him quiet. He seemed bothered by something that he wouldn’t speak of and would rather suffer in silence. Shannon felt like Jared was keeping a secret from him recently. He sat there on the car ride as trees and mist of rain blurred by the passenger window and thought about what could be bothering Jared that he wouldn’t even talk about to his older brother.
On the other side of the car Jared was watching the dark wet road speed under the car like it was a monstrous machine devouring the highway. He had so many things running through his confused mind. Like why Shannon had to be such a dick this morning in front of their mom, especially on the first day of school. How many people was he going to have to hear whisper or laugh about his mere existence because he wasn’t like them? He refused to conform to be like everyone else in this country town. Jared was himself and had his own likes and interests like playing music in his band with his brother and their friend Tomo or taking pictures. He loved photography, it didn’t give him the same happiness that music did. Music gave him energy and this surge of power and feeling but photography gave him this calm that was needed to balance out his life. Something that was his and only his. Something he never had to share with anyone. Suddenly Jared saw the school marquee up ahead and broke from his concentration.
As they pulled into the student parking lot filled with puddles Jared gripped the steering wheel tight and thought, Whatever happens, happens.