*mine: mummy

The classic Universal Monsters strutting their stuff from left to right: The Invisible Man, The Mummy, Bride of Frankenstein, Dracula, Wolf Man, Frankenstein’s Monster, and The Creature from The Black Lagoon.

I wanted them to look all model'y just for the fun of it while still keeping some of their original design. I got inspiration for the mummy from modern Egyptian models, while the creature from the black lagoon turned out very different, but I did my best with some scales tattoos and a raincoat.

I actually made it in color, but I like the silver version better.

Touch

I used to work at the museum as the guy that told people not to touch the mummies. It was normally easy because most people are respectful or too stupid to realize that the mummies could be touched, but one old woman came in every year on the same day and made my job tough. She wore a shirt that said “#1 Mummy Toucher” and didn’t even look at the other exhibits, even though we had some cool ones like King Arthur’s round tablecloth and Kennedy’s novel about the Matrix. This woman would hop right over the velvet “do not hop over” rope and make a bee-line for the most touchable mummy. One year I was a step ahead of her and dressed up as that mummy, so when she went to touch me I grabbed her hand and said, “Don’t touch the mumm-ME!” and laughed and laughed. She didn’t think it was very funny though and had a big heart attack and died on the spot. I didn’t want to get in trouble so I threw her into one of the empty mummy sarcophagi. I think she’s still there today. Anyway, obviously I got promoted from that job to tour guide, so if you’ll follow me, we’ll check out Kennedy’s novel that caused the Wachowskis to kill him.

Guide line for comfort/calming down (especially for distant relationship)
  • CG: "First breathe. In and out. Only concentrate on breathing and my voice."
  • CG: "Now go grab *insert name of stuffie* and cuddle him close because he's a little bit scared that you'll get hurt."
  • Little: "okay..."
  • CG: "Now count till ten and then say: I'm a brave little toaster and I will solve this problem."
  • Little: *grumbles*
  • CG: "What was that?"
  • Little: "IMMA BRAVE LITTLE TOASTER AND ILL SOLVE THIS PROBLEMS!"
  • CG: "THATS RIGHT!"
  • CG: "Now let *insert name of stuffie* wipe those tears away!
  • Little: "okay he did."
  • CG: "Now tell me the problem, what's bothering you?"

“Mummy No. 30007, currently residing at the American Museum of Natural History, is a showstopper. She’s known as the Gilded Lady, for good reason: Her coffin, intricately decorated with linen, a golden headdress and facial features, has an air of divinity. She’s so well preserved that she looks exactly how the people of her time hoped she would appear for eternity. To contemporary scientists, however, it’s what they don’t see that is equally fascinating: Who was this ancient woman, and what did she look like when she was alive?” Read more about Mummies via The New York Times.