Went to clinic and we decided to stop Wellbutrin seeing as how the side effects aren’t lessening over a period of adjustment but getting worse - I’m agitated, severely depressed, and having vision problems, I can’t focus my eyes sometimes to do close work: I haven’t really been able to use the internet or draw. And I’m more sensitive to bright light than usual so I’m getting sensory overload and acting stupid. Try not to have a conversation with me unless you think you can tolerate me pausing every four words to buffer (not looking forward to giving a speech in communications tomorrow).

After about a week of letting the Wellbutrin get out of my system (I hope for a mild withdrawal) the clinician wants to try Abilify, since it seems to be better for autistic people and treatment-resistent depression - it’s a somewhat unusual drug and should at least be interesting.

you have this idea in your head that the only time you’re worthy of being loved is when you’re at your best. you’re still worthy of being loved when you’re at your lowest. you’re still worthy of being loved when you don’t want to go on anymore. you are still worthy of being loved even when you don’t love yourself. you are a human and therefore always worthy of being loved and don’t you fool yourself into thinking otherwise.