*me3

The Jacob Romance in ME3 in a Nutshell:

Shepard: Hi Jacob, I’ve really missed you the last six months. How have you been?

Jacob: Oh hey Shepard, six months was sort of a long time so the ex-Cerberus scientist you met and I are in love now and she’s pregnant with my child. We might name it after you.

Shepard:

plot twist: EDI loaded a backup of herself into a toaster on the Normandy to ensure survival, but she had to deactivate it to ensure it wasn’t taken out in the blast, so one day, while they’re trying to get the Normandy off that random planet, Chakwas is trying to force Joker to eat something and he finally just gives up and grabs some bread and goes to make toast. He pulls down the lever and hears “Good morning, Jeff. On a scale of 1-10 how burnt would you like this toast?” and he breaks down crying in the galley, to which Toaster!EDI can only respond with “That was a joke.”