*m ac

idunnoaboutthisanimeguiz  asked:

Hey um you reblogged something that seemed like it was intended to be against aces being in the lgbt community. Was that your intention?

Never mind I have shitty internet and so it wasn’t loading your blog but now I see you’ve answered. My bad. Also doesn’t help I’m on mobile

Ace and Aro people absolutely belong in the LGBTQIA community, I have fought and will continue to fight against people who say otherwise. Anyone that adamantly disagrees with me over this is invited to either rethink their values or leave without comment—or they can meet me in the pit.

When I first read the tweet I thought it was interesting enough to reblog and think on cause sometimes I do that. And then people started drawing my attention to some of the people reblogging it, and regardless of what the original Tweeter was trying to say, the sentiment has been twisted to mean something hurtful and I am not comfortable with having their voices on my blog, however much in errant passing.

There are valid points to make about the commercialization of Pride and the way straight people appropriate lgbtqia spaces, but keeping that post on my blog with the current commentary on it is not the best way to do that. 

So thank you for being brave and bringing it to my attention, to all of you who did. I know it’s a scary moment when you see something you don’t expect to see coming from someone you are fairly certain doesn’t mean it that way, but there’s always that chance they’re going to turn around and be awful about it too. I appreciate that, and thank you again for doing it. 

And I apologize for bringing those people’s hateful exclusionism onto your dashes. I don’t always have time to check the blog sources, especially not on mobile, but I’ll make a point to try more. Hatred and gatekeeping has no place in my heart or my blog, and it never will.

gtsomefukinweeb: Got into a discussion about “is refusing to have sex with someone PURELY based on their race, racist?” on twitter. I answered yet, and that is the reply a white girl gave me. not included: everyone agreeing with her, as well as her saying that calling someone racist who denies you sex PURELY because of your race makes you a terrible person, and rapey at that.

This is just.. some new white bullshit to me. I just needed someone to share this with because I’m baffled.

That’s ridiculous. Absolutely not. From the point of vie of a POC, if a person says, “I don’t want to have sex with you because [insert race here] are ugly,” that person, imo, is no longer attractive. Like, I’m ace, but I’m pretty damn sure that most POC I know would not want to fuck someone on that level of bigotry, right? So the normal response would be, “Ugh,” and then getting out of there, not pressuring the person into having sex, which seems to be Anonymous White Girl’s presumption.

From the point of view of a white person, it’s still not forcing you to have sex, because really the critique here is not of the action (fucking or not fucking) but the motivation (thinking xyz race is ugly/unattractive/unsexy). So let’s say Anonymous White Girl is bi. She sees an Asian guy and likes his personality, but is left at the end of the night thinking, “hm, he’s fun to be with and I’d fuck him if he wasn’t Asian [but he’s unattractive to me because of the desexualization of Asian men in Western culture].” The solution for her is NOT to say, “Well, guess I gotta fuck him now so that I can not be a bigot,” because if she fucks him then, a) her racist perception of Asian men remains in her head and b) it’s incredibly unfair of her to fuck him while secretly thinking he’s ugly, treating him like a chore–he really doesn’t deserve that kind of weird treatment from whoever he’s with. The solution for her is NOT to fuck him, but to examine what incorrect and racist notions causes her to think that he’s unattractive in the first place, and if possibly, to remedy those notions with a mixture of common sense, research, changing her media/culture diet, etc. 

I get that racist thinking about attractiveness is ingrained DEEP–I still am not 100% over the Western concept that my short, fat, round Asian nose is ugly–but if we want to be better people, we have to do the work. And what Anonymous White Girl appears to be doing is throwing her hands up and crying white feminism. From your local WOC, tell her to gtfo and do the work.

Mod Z

PS I see this a lot in fandom, where people show their bigotry by not-so-subtly taking attributes/personality that they like from characters of color  and giving it to a white character, white faceclaim, or lighter faceclaim instead, so they have the POC’s story/attributes without the color. For example, giving Finn’s story & personality to Kylo, or giving a super pale or white faceclaim to Aravis. To which I say: racists are really not that clever.

anonymous asked:

Ay so I'm 15 and ace and I don't experience crushes really at all. But I desperately want a romantic relationship? Does this mean that I'm just not attracted to the people I see on a daily basis? Or could I be aro? Is there a word for being aro and wanting a relationship? Ugh this is complicated

You can be aromantic and still want to be in a romantic relationship!!

anonymous asked:

I hope this doesn't sound weird: I'm not ace but I don't want sex, I just have a very low sex drive and I'm kinda sex repulsed. I don't know why. I've had my first boyfriend for four months now and we've had sex once (my first time, were both 22) and I just haven't wanted it since. I also wouldn't want him to sleep with other people, it would hurt my feelings, and he is not happy without sex. Is there any way this relationship can work out?

Real talk? I think chances are pretty low. If sex is a need for him, and not-sex is a need for you, it’s likely that you’re going to be at cross-purposes until something gives. If you both discuss it and decide to try to find some alternatives it’s possible you may land on something that works for both of you, but it’s very possible you’ll find that you just need different things from a relationship, and that’s okay. Not everyone is compatible with everyone else, and while breakups aren’t fun, they can still be amicable and reasonably pleasant.

-Dew

I hate it when I kind of like people.

Like, “this is an aesthetically attractive person who I get along well with, who has many fine qualities and with whom I share several interests”

Cause like, what do I DO with this information? I’m aro/ace, I don’t actually want to date them, and I certainly don’t want to have sex with them.

Yet I still notice this stuff? And like, even in the rare cases where this kind of liking a person might make me want to hug and kiss them, anything beyond that is completely uninteresting, and often exhausting and stressful.

Because people generally don’t have the same level of need/interest as I do. Hell, I get stressed out when people have romantic feelings for me, because that’s just not a thing I know how to relate to.

Oof.

bobabathtea  asked:

I'm not trying to come off as rude but how can you rb posts of girls with "I'm gay" when you're a guy ? :/ it's confusing to me

http://superpunkjellyfish.tumblr.com/post/168338946430/
every single time i think anyone is cute, it’s gay because i’m gay.
people on here reaaaaally need to stop stressing over my sexuality. (this isn’t directed at you specifically btw i’m just taking this opportunity to say it)
i keep getting asked things like how can i have relationships when i’m aro or how i have sex when i’m ace, people asking why i describe my sexuality the way i do and like, guys, it really doesn’t affect you in literally any way? i understand myself. i know how my sexuality works. let me express it in the way i choose.

anonymous asked:

Hello there, I'm a bi ace girl. I read you faq but didn't see the answer I needed, so, if by any means this is wrong to ask let me know. I feel romantic attraction for a lot of people at the same time, is this normal? Is there any name for this?

It sounds like you might be polyamorous! Polyamory is a relationship with more than two people, and it is perfectly normal, no matter what society tells you.


Hope I could help you ❤️

Mod Raccoon

anonymous asked:

For biro ace anon - I'm dating a biro ace man and I absolutely adore him! Of course us being different sexualities has raised different issues, but honestly it's all worth it to be with someone so lovely - I definitely want to marry him one day. Moral of the story is that with the right person, they won't mind or care or be bothered by your asexuality - and if they do, then they're not the right person. Wishing you luck!

anonymous asked:

Hi! I've been identifying as a lesbian for a while and it's just really hard to settle into the label? Like I cannot picture myself with a guy or having a romantic/sexual relationship with a guy at all, but when I think about it I can't picture that with a girl either?? And it's not like I'm aro/ace because I definitely want a romantic/sexual relationship, it's just I can't really feel connected to having a relationship with girls at all??? Help?

You don’t say if you’ve had a relationship of any kind before, so I’m going assume you haven’t.

So I think it might be because of society you feel this way. We are told, in a million ways, hundreds of times a day, that having a guy “like” you is the ultimate compliment. It proves that you are worthy. But when was the last time you saw an advert/article/what have you that said the same thing about a girl?

So I’d wait until you find a specific girl you want a relationship with and see if she/they let you feel that connection. 

–Mod Tee

shoutout to autistic aces who are blamed for the desexualization of autistic people

you are allowed to exist as an autistic ace

you are not responsible for the desexualization of autistic people

you are not wrong for seeking out representation of autistic ace people

you are allowed to headcanon autistic characters as ace and ace characters as autistic

you are not bad or wrong for existing as an autistic ace in ways that fit into stereotypes about autistic or ace people

you are wonderful and lovely and good 

your existence is not to blame for the desexualization of autistic people

you are allowed to exist as an autistic ace

7

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