funny story

in year 6, our class had this performance we had to do in front of the school. our teacher arranged our class to do a song… however, for some really horrid reason, she chose me to sing solo. i was red and really nervous because i pretty much was that shy kid in class.

during practice, she yelled at me really loudly to sing louder and louder. i kept crying and crying whilst singing, as she yelled at me.

i wanted revenge so i snuck into the classroom, rummaged through her handbag, and stole the classroom keys. then I just chucked it into a toilet. she ended up crying during class about how she’s so stupid and ignorant for losing them

Our party of almost all half-elves are in a stolen rowboat, trying to sneak our way onto a pirate ship. We’ve been incredibly stealthy so far, when our fighter rolls a nat 1 on Stealth and thus sneezes incredibly loudly.

The goblins running the ship immediately take notice.

Goblins: Alarm! Get your swords! We’re being attacked by elves!

The Party: [yelling back] We’re HALF-elves!


Goblins: We’re being attacked by shitty elves!

The Signs as Things I Have Heard the Signs I Know Say
  • Aries:*is fighting w brother on facetime bc he wants to use her brush; convinces him she has no idea where it is; he leaves* its literally right on my dresser i just dont feel like getting up
  • Taurus:*grunts extremly loudly for no apparent reason*
  • Gemini:what gender do you think instagram is
  • Cancer:what if a dog and a human breeded, would the offspring come out adorable or terrifying?
  • Leo:honestly i love this album more than i love my fucking self literally every sobg is fire af
  • Virgo:who the hell came up w the word "fuck" like ??
  • Libra:why isnt libras animal thinv a zebra i mean cmon it rhymes
  • Scorpio:*talking about american horror story* tates gonna fuck you bitch-aND YOUR MOM
  • Saggitarius:sometimes i attempt to chill down my fangirling but its like part of my soul
  • Aquarius:i swear to the motha fuckin lord jesus that i dont even beleive in, that i will smack you if you say that again
  • Capricorn:*runs into door* sorry
  • Pices:*dancing crazily* *hits arm on bedpost* oW THIS MOTHER FUCKER HAD NO GODDAMN RIGHT FUUUUUUUUUUCK

anonymous asked:

Sole doing a perfect split! Companions see!

Cait - She stares at them with her mouth open and eyes wide and carries on doing this for another hour or so.

Codsworth - “Good to see your physical ability’s so well, sir/mum!”

Curie - Is fascinated of how flexible they are, studying their muscles as they stay like this and smile upon her.

Danse - He swallows loudly, his eyes wide and his cheeks crimson. “Well done… soldier.”

Deacon - His mouth goes dry and he’s happy he has his sunglasses, as he sees them part their legs in perfect 180° angle. He isn’t even able to crack a joke about it.

Hancock - Grins almost like a feral, thinking of how this must feel in different situations. “Impressed…”

MacCready - “Holy sh- damn! How- Doesn’t that hurt?!” He visibly blushes as they stretch even further. 

Nick Valentine - He is very impressed and it is difficult for him not to imagine of the advantages of such flexibility.

Piper - “Oh jesus! Blue, h-how?” She just gained a whole new type of respect for Sole.

Preston - He gasps, his mouth hanging open, before he looks into their eyes. “General… OW!”

X6-88 - “You are very well flexible, sir/ma’am, I’ll give you that.”

Strong - Doesn’t say anything, but is confused how can human do this with their legs.

Have I Made You Uncomfortable? (Bucky x Reader) Part 6

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

Part Four

Part Five

Part Six


Part Six

“Either way, we need to take him and his puppets out, release the hostages, and deactivate the carrier system. Y/N, you’ve been watching the building, any suggestions?” Steve asked, and you furrowed your brows in concentration. You took another bite of your burger and started flicking the hologram around, circling it as you chewed. You swallowed loudly before sighing.

“Well, the building in itself isn’t the problem, Steve. They have people everywhere. Since this is a threefold mission, we need to split up. I suggest… Who’s available for this?” you asked, eyes still focused on the hologram in front of you.

“Myself, Buck, you, and Barton.” You hummed in discontent.

“Four people doesn’t seem like enough for this mission. Are you sure there’s no one else we can bring in?” you asked, glancing at him.

“I’m sure. Romanoff is on a mission in Korea, Thor’s on Asgardian business, Stark is injured, and Banner is off radar at the moment. It’s just the four of us. Now, Y/N, you’re the best hacker here, so you have to deactivate the carrier systems. Now, the control room is right here,” he stated, zooming in and pointing to a room on the third floor. “And the hostages are said to be held in the hangar behind the building.”

“Okay, I can go in and take care of the carrier system, and I’ll go ahead and take out Smith and his bobblehead twins on the way out. The three of you can go ahead and get the hostages out. You’ll need the extra manpower,” you stated, and Steve crossed his arms, shaking his head softly.

“I’m not letting you go alone.”

“You’re not letting me? Rogers, dial down the drama-factor a bit.”

“Okay, I want you to take someone with you inside. It’s not that I don’t think you can do it, but I think it’s more difficult than you think. I’ll take Barton and rescue the hostages, and you can bring Buck. It wouldn’t hurt to have someone extra there watching your back,” Steve said, and you shook your head.

“Why can I not get Barton?” you asked, slightly harshly, and Clint chuckled.

“Barton’s speciality is being an archer. Something that suits better when rescuing hostages rather than breaking into a secure facility, killing its three most important people and deactivating their main system. And Buck is a trained assassin, anyway,” Steve said, and you stood there silently, thinking of another argument for your case.

“Barton was trained as a SHIELD agent. The Winter Soldier is hardly as subtle,” you stated, and Bucky flinched under the name. Steve shot you a stern look, before sighing.

“Y/N, I’m the leader here. Here’s what’s gonna happen. Barton and I rescue the hostages, and you and Buck deactivate the system before killing Smith.” You scowled and looked at the ground.

“Fine,” you mumbled, and Clint coughed. You shot him a confused look, and he shrugged.

“Good. I’m gonna let the two of you work out how to do that, and Barton and I will find a strategy for our part of the mission. Remember, you have to work as a distraction until we’ve secured the hangar, so Smith and his boys don’t catch it,” Steve said, and you rolled your eyes.

“Yes, Captain,” you said, mock-saluting him. He chuckled at your annoyed expression and left the room with Clint. There was an awkward silence.

Neither of you had communicated with each other in any way since your little encounter in the hallway, and you were happy to keep it that way. You despised him. His entire being. And working with him was the last thing you wanted right now.

“So…*cough*… how do you suggest we do this?” he asked, his voice fairly neutral. You were standing with your back to him, facing the hologram. That damn neutral mask again. Well, two could play at that game. You were going to be more neutral than he ever had been. You logged onto a nearby computer and started typing rapidly.

“There,” you stated, hitting the enter bar one last time. “We’re scheduled to meet Smith in two days. We’re going as HYDRA agents, sent by Grant Ward to check up on the security measures, making sure things can’t be hacked, that the staff are reliable, and so on. The launch is in just under a week, so it’s pretty plausible. We go in there, distract them while Rogers and Barton free the hostages and kick some ass, and then in all the chaos, I’ll slip away and up to the control-room and you’ll take out Smith and his pals.” Bucky blinked at you for a few seconds, before leaning back in his chair.

“You’re saying that as if it’s not open for discussion,” Bucky stated, and you started circling the hologram again.

“That’s because it isn’t.” He sighed, but didn’t respond. You started flicking at the hologram again. “The control-room is here,” you started, pointing to a room on the hologram. “And Smith will be following us around, so he’ll be wherever you are.”

“I should go with you to the control-room. There are two twins, and only one of you. You’re good, but you’re not that good,” Bucky said, and you scowled.

“That’s not a good tactic for getting what you want.”

“You get the point. We’ll take out the trio together, and then I’ll cover for you when you hack your way into their system,” he said, and you shook your head.

“No. That’s more time-consuming.”

“We’re not in a hurry.” You exhaled slowly, a scowl on your face. You glanced at his eyes, sharing eye-contact for a second before looking away.

“Still not happening.”

“Can you think of a good reason why not?” he asked, and you didn’t look at him. Your gaze was fixated on the burger in your hand, pretending to be very interested in the lettuce. “I thought as much.” Your gaze shot up again, and scowled as you saw the grin on his face.

“Fine. We’ll go with your stupid-ass plan. We enter here,” you said, pointing. “…and they’ll lead us up to his office. We’ll stall him there, before-“

“Wait, why don’t we just go with him down to the control-room? Takes less time, and we’ll have everything in one place. Also, what would we be checking up on in his office?” he suggested, and you looked at him for a long time before huffing.



Steve had been looking at you for the past three minutes, and you were starting to get annoyed.

“Did you lose something over here?” you asked, sarcasm dripping from your voice. He rolled his eyes and chuckled.

“Buck told you he fancied you, didn’t he?” he stated, and you tightened your grip on the steering wheel.

“What’s it to you?”

“Come on, Y/N. Don’t be like that. What I’m getting at, is that you never responded to it. I mean, apart from the fact that neither of you have looked, let alone spoken to each other for the past week.” You didn’t say anything, but kept your gaze fixed on the road. “And I’m willing to bet that you fancy him, too.” You didn’t look at him, your eyes still on the road.

“Well then you better pay up, cos I don’t.”

“Don’t believe you.” You scowled at him.

“Why the hell would I fancy him? What has he ever done to make me fancy him?” you spat, and Steve backed down.

“Okay, fine. Forget I mentioned it.”

“I will.”


You straightened your tie before putting on your glasses. You looked at yourself in the mirror and scowled.

“And why am I wearing a wig and a mask again?” you spat, and he scowled.

“We’re impersonating HYDRA agents. They won’t have you as an agent in their database, Y/N. I’m in disguise too, so deal with it.” You scowled at yourself in the mirror, before tucking a strand of fake hair behind your ear.

“Come on. We’re late.”

“Behave. Both of you. We can’t afford to blow this,” Steve said over the comm, and you rolled your eyes.

“Just be ready, Rogers,” you answered, hostility dripping from your voice. The two of you got out of the car and shut the doors. You opened the boot of the car and handed him his briefcase before grabbing yours.

“What weapons have you brought?” Bucky asked, and you scoffed.

“Standard. It’s in the briefcase. Why?” you asked, and Bucky started fiddling with his belt. You stared at him in shock. “Barnes, what the fuck are you doing?” you exclaimed, feeling your entire body tensing. He pulled out a small knife, and you instantly slacked.

“Take this,” he said, holding it out to you. You shook your head and pushed it carefully towards him.

“Barnes, I’ve got the case. I’ll be fine.” He sighed and ran his hand through his hair.

“You mightn’t have time to open your damn briefcase, Y/N. Just take it!” he exclaimed, and you crossed your arms.

“You’re not gonna be bringing one then, are you?”

“I have a metal arm. I’ll be fine.”

“And I won’t be? Just because I don’t have a freak arm that can do all the fighting for me, I’m weak?” you exclaimed, and his jaw tensed at your comment. You had stepped over the line and you knew it, but right now you didn’t care.

He stepped closer to you. You could feel his breath on your face, and stared him in the eye.

“Take… the damn… knife.” You leaned in even closer so your face was mere millimetres from his.

“Make me.” He narrowed his eyes and opened his mouth to say something.

“Y/N, take the damn knife!” Steve yelled through the comm, causing both you and Bucky to jump. Scowling, you took the knife from him and fixed it in the waistband of your pants.

You huffed and made your way into the building, Bucky right behind you. Just before you opened the door, he grabbed your wrist and pulled you back carefully.

“Calm down. Act natural, or else you’re gonna blow this.” You gave him a dirty look which he returned, before taking a few breaths to calm yourself.

You had barely stepped inside the lobby, before a tall, bald man stepped in front of you, blocking your path.

“Jones?” he asked, and you nodded, before clearing your throat. He looked damn strong.

“Yes, that’s me. How can I help you?” you asked, and silently swallowed a lump in your throat. The man looked over to someone on the other side of the room, and gestured for them to come over. Shortly, a man who looked exactly like the first one was standing in front of Bucky, his arms crossed.

“I could ask you the very same thing,” the first man asked, and you labelled him ‘Number 1’ in your mind. You coughed and moved closer to Bucky. Your sides were touching, and you could hear him trying to keep his breath steady. They were huge.

“We have an appointment with Mr. Smith.” The men grinned at each other, their smiles menacing and intimidating.

“Of course you do. Come with me,” Number 1 said, and the two of you started following him. Number 2 grabbed Bucky’s arm roughly.

“No. You come with me. She goes with him.” You glanced at Bucky, and he glanced at you. Both of you were obviously terrified, but you had covered it up. The only ones who could tell were the two of you.

“Fair enough,” Bucky said, standing up straight so he was more or less the same height as the twins. Number 1 shoved you slightly in a certain direction, and you started walking. The lobby was crowded, and there were voices everywhere.

“Steve… Did you catch that?” you breathed as quietly as you could, hoping the comm would pick it up.

“Yes. What do we do?” he asked, and you looked around carefully.

“I think we’ve been compromised. Abort mission,” you breathed, watching Number 1 opening a door and gesturing for you to enter. You stepped inside, hearing the door click shut behind you.


“Y/N. Y/N? Y/N! Are you there? Damn, the connection’s been cut. What do we do?” Steve asked, and Clint furrowed his brows.

“If we go in there, we’ll only make it worst. They’ll make it out, we just have to get our shit done now. This is as good a distraction as any,” Clint answered, and Steve nodded gravely.

“Alright. Let’s get this show on the road.”


“So…” you said, turning around. You immediately ducked, seeing him throwing his fist at you. You kicked him hard in the solar plexus, groaning at the pain. The feeling was quickly substituted with shock. How the hell did that hurt you more than it had him? He swung another punch and you caught his arm, pulling it around so he let out a yell. He quickly yanked it loose and kicked you hard, causing you to slam into the wall behind you. You smacked your head hard on the wall, and felt a dizzy sensation come over you.

You sank down to the ground just in time to dodge another punch, and crawled slowly over to your briefcase. You pulled out a gun and pointed it at him, but by the time you had gotten that far, he was right in front of you. He ripped the gun out of your hands and pointed it at you, shooting a bullet at your left arm. You were hit with a blinding pain and collapsed in agony.

Normally, you would have been able to put up a decent fight, but this time there was something different. He was so fascinatingly strong, that he couldn’t have been human. You grasped your arm with your hand, groaning as you saw the amount of blood on your hands.

He was rolling up his sleeves, a mischievous grin on his face. He knew he had you, and there was nothing you could do about it. Tech and the odd assassination was your forte, not one on one wrestling with a man who must have been three times your size.

“You ever hear of Grant Ward?” he said, smirking. You managed to get yourself up into a standing position, groaning loudly as you did so.

“Well, yeah? He’s the one who sent us, goddamn it!” you yelled, and he tutted.

“You shouldn’t lie. You see, Grant and I are good friends. He didn’t mention sending anyone over.” You bent over, as if in pain, and fished the small knife out of your belt buckle. You heard his footsteps come closer and closer, and you stayed completely still. You could see the outline of his reflection on the glass of a picture that was hanging on the wall, and prepared yourself.

He must have been right behind you at this point. He was clearly enjoying this, taking his time, as if he could go on for ever. He was so strong; you were basically just being thrown around the room. You gripped the blade tight and exhaled slowly.

You slammed the knife backwards. He let out a small groan, but loud enough for you to know you’d hit your target. You proceeded to pull the blade upwards, slicing him up the chest. He fell to his knees, groaning in pain, and you took the chance to smash your foot into his head. He went out like a light, and you grabbed your gun before running out of the room.

“Rogers. Rogers! Are you there? Can you hear me?” you yelled as soon as you were outside. You walked hurriedly towards the car, trying not to draw any more attention to yourself. Not that you were being very subtle already, what with your bullet wound and broken nose and all.

“Are you alright? Yes, I can hear you. Barton and I are proceeding with the rescue, but you and Buck have to get out of there now!” he answered, and your eyes widened.

“Shit, Bucky!” you yelled, before running back into the building. “Have you heard anything from him? Is he alright?” you asked, frantically. You wrenched the front door open, groaning in agony, and hurried over to the reception.

“No, your comms went out as soon as you were dragged away. Barton and I are going in now, but get Bucky and get out!” You caught the receptionist’s attention and she smiled.

“Hello, how may I help you?” she asked, and you looked around quickly. Her voice was far too sweet for your liking, and she seemed too nice for a place like this.

“Uh, hi, I’m so silly, I’ve gone and fallen down the stairs!” you said, and her expression turned into one of shock. You decided to go with it. “Anyway, I have to go to the hospital, but the man I came here with went to talk to some man and hasn’t come back yet,” you said, and she nodded, a look of concern on her face. “Do you have any idea where they went?” The woman shook her head sadly.

“I’m sorry, I only just started my shift,” she said. “What does he look like?” she asked, and you described him with his disguise. Her face was thoughtful, and after a few seconds, she stood up. “Wait here a second, I’ll just go and ask Janice. She was on when you got here, I presume.” You nodded thankfully and put pressure on your wound, groaning in agony.

You were getting more and more nervous. Time was running short. Bucky was strong, there was no doubt about that. His muscles were impossible to miss. Damn, were they impossible to miss. But the point was, the other guy was massive, and Bucky had no knife. The woman returned a few minutes later, a satisfactory look on her face.

“It’s your lucky day, honey! Janis saw him leave with one of Mr. Smith’s men half an hour ago. They went into the conference room right around the corner there,” she said, pointing to a corner a few metres away. You thanked her several times before sprinting around the corner.

You tried the door handle, but it was locked. Shit. You opened your briefcase and grabbed the decoder, scanning the coded lock on the wall next to the door. You grabbed your gun and made sure it was loaded, before pressing in the correct code and opening the door.

Gift: Drunk Men Don't Lie

For @alyseb630 because she’s a big cutie pie and Tumblr mums must spoil their children

“Princess I love you.” The mostly-empty wine bottle swung precariously from his fingertips, the contents sloshing loudly, demanding to be drunk.

Marinette rolled her eyes and reached for the bottle. “Yes I know that’s the fifth time you’ve said that in the past half hour.” He snatched the bottle out of her reach and rasied it to his lips, taking such a large mouthful that it would have been frowned upon at a dinner party. “Give me that Chat.”

Chat’s eyes bugged out of his head for a moment before he started giggling uncontrollably, his uncontrollable (at least in his drunken state) tail twitching. “That Chat.” He wheezed. “That’s funny.”

Marinette groaned and reached for the bottle again. “You’ve had enough.”

Chat clutched his prize to his chest. “No.” He whispered. “I need it.”

Marinette slapped his thigh and ignored his giggles of ‘ooh kinky’. “You don’t need it. Give it to me or I won’t give you any croissants next time you visit.”

“No croissants?” He breathed horrified. His ears flattened against his skull and his expression turned pitiful, as he pondered his new punishment. “Cookies?” He asked hopefully, ears pricking up.

“No.” Marinette said firmly, folding her arms across her chest.

“No cookies?” He whined, voice edging up a few octaves at the word ‘cookies.’ His ears drooped and his tail flopped onto the chaise with a thump.

Marinette swallowed the thump in her throat at the sight of her partner’s sorrowful expression. She tightened her crossed arms and deepened her frown so she wouldn’t give in. For a few seconds it was a silent battle of willpower before Chat lost. He held out the bottle in defeat, head bowed, one hand grasping the neck, the other supporting the base; like a sommelier might offer wine to a patron.

Marinette took it gingerly and slipped off the chaise so she could go pour it into her flowers on the terrace. When the bottle was empty she placed it as close to the wall as possible. Hopefully she could get rid of it later without her parents noticing. She took a deep breath and dropped back into her room, snapping the hatch closed behind her. She narrowed her eyes in the dark, Chat was missing and the hatch leading to downstairs was open. Marinette cursed, raced over to the hatch and stuck her head down the hole.

“Chat.” She hissed, panic setting in. Her parents weren’t exactly aware of the stray cat she’d adopted over the past few months.“Get up here.” After a moment of silence he wandered up the stairs and butted his head against hers.

“Princess! What are you doing here?” He wore his signature Cheshire grin and his voice was entirely too loud.

She grabbed his collar and hauled him through the hatch. “I live here.” She grunted as he sprawled on top of her giggling. “With my parents -”

“I love your parents.” He mumbled into her hair, still giggling. “Your fluffy and kind and nice maman and your funny papa. ”

Marinette rolled her eyes and tried to push him off her. “That’s nice. They are also parents who could catch you here without permission. Remember?” He had forgotten apparently, his giggles slowed and he pulled himself up onto his elbows so he was hovering over her, one of his clawed hands tangled in her hair, the other at the side of her face. He squinted at her and Marinette could feel her face burning under his intense scrutiny.

What?“ She demanded defensively.

“You’re very pretty.” He slurred.

To hide her embrassment Marinette laughed. “Oh really?”

He nodded sagely. “I always thought so.” He lifted a hand and trailed it down the side of her face, his body lowering to meet hers. “Ever since I first saw you.I thought you were beautiful.”

“You’re such a liar.” Marinette snorted, but her words had the wrong effect. Instead of him laughing and rolling away, he dipped his face down and brushed his nose against hers.

“Drunk men don’t lie.”

He was close. Too close. She could feel heat rolling off his body and smell the wine thick on his breath. She lifted her head to and suddenly she she could taste it. A tart flavour exploded in her mouth as he swept his tongue against hers. Marinette shoved embarrassment aside as she responded to him in a way she didn’t know she was capable of. She moved her hands to his shoulders as her head titled for better access. He was warm and steady, his torso touching hers as he supported himself above her. She was shaking, she could feel it, it felt so right so natural, but as he drew back for breath, all she could think of was Adrien and of how drunk Chat was and of how he was not really in control right now. She didn’t push him away, and so he moved in again, slower this time. He was barely a millimetre away from her lips when she found her voice.


She felt his body freeze instantly and his eyes snapped open, full of an emotion she couldn’t name. In a fraction of a second, he’d pulled her up into a less vulnerable position and scrambled as far away from her as he could, his back pressed against the wall, muttering “Sorry, I’m so sorry,” His voice thick and sad, still marred by the alcohol.

“Chat?” She crawled forward and reached out to touch him but he flinched away immediately.

He mumbled a long string of words that didn’t make much sense but Marinette caught “no means no” and “taking advantage of you.”

“Chat?” She touched his shoulder causing him to glance up. His eyebrows were furrowed as though they were desperately trying to meet and his mouth was pulled down at the corners in an uncharacteristic frown.

“Sorry Marinette.” He said again, her name instead of his usual endearment sounding funny on his tongue. The wine slurred his words but it couldn’t hide the sincerity. “You don’t want- I get it… I’m not-” He pressed a hand to his forehead half in embarrassment and half due to the pounding headache that had already started. “’m very drunk. That’s no excuse… You didn’t want me to-”

“No, no, no. It’s not like that.” Marinette said, creeping closer. And suddenly it wasn’t about Adrien or her being Ladybug. It was just about them. “I just… You’re really drunk.”

Chat’s ears perked up. “It’s just because of…” He struggled to finish his sentence. “Wine?”

Marinette scratched the back of her head. “I guess?”

He placed his hand on her shoulders, a wide, silly grin suddenly painted lopsidedly on his face. “Will you kiss me when I’m sober?”

Marinette jerked back in surprise and he released her immediately. “What?”

“When I’m sober, can I kiss you again?”

“Uhm. Sure?”

The grin widened and he held out his little finger. “Pinky swear Princess!” He sung.

They locked fingers and he stood, staggering towards her bed. It wasn’t until he reached the hatch that she realized he was trying to leave. She raced over and pulled him down onto the bed and away from the hatch and the dangerous rooftops. “Where are you going?” She demanded.

“Uh…” He shrugged and rolled over, amazingly managing to roll over the top of the railing and landing on the hard floor. Marinette jumped down beside him, but he didn’t seem phased by falling. “To my house.” He managed before standing up and trying to climb the ladder again.

Marinette pulled him off the ladder and directed him to the chaise. “No way kitten-” At the nickname he flung his arms around her neck and nuzzled into her neck, giggling again. Marinette rolled her eyes and walked him over to her lounge, her eyes landing on her phone. “You have to stay here. I won’t have you stumbling around like an idiot, what would Ladybug think?”

He hummed in thought before stepping back and releasing her. “I gotta go.” His words slurred again as though he was weaving in and out of his drunken state. Marinette pushed him onto the couch, a soft breathy grunt escaping him before she pressed ‘record’ on her phone.

“You have to stay here.” She told him, leveling the phone with his face. He either didn’t notice or was too far gone to care.

“But Princesss,” He said, desperately trying to make his voice sound matter-of-fact but failing miserably. “I gotta go.“

“Like pee?” She asked. He nodded.

After the expedition to the bathroom, which involved much pushing and giggling and an instance where Chat asked if she wanted to ‘disrobe him,’ they were back in the bedroom, Chat still trying to leave and Marinette still recording.

“If you go I’ll kick your butt.” Marinette snapped. She had to snap because the only other option was to start laughing at him-and he did look silly, his misbehaving tail wrapped around his legs, preventing any kind of progress-but laughterwould only encourage him.

“But you forget Princess.” He smirked, once again trying to maintain his matter-of-fact tone so he would win the argument. “I’m a superhero.” He pointed at himself before raising his palm to her. “So,” here he glanced at his hand as if it belonged to someone else before using his other hand to put down all his fingers bar his index, leaving his hand in an “ah-ha” gesture. “I could kick your butt.” He grinned, seemingly satisfied with his declaration, still apparently oblivious to the phone in his face.

“But I’m a girl. And a Princess.” Marinette pointed out. “Would you still hit me then?”

Chat frowned and pouted. “I would never hit My Princess.” He said seriously, seeming to have a sober moment before slipping back into his drunken tirade. “But I can still kick your butt.” He smirked and crossed his arms.

“How?” Marinette challenged.

He smirked and reached for her, pulling her into his lap and running his clawed hands carefully up her sides, prodding at her tummy as he tickled her, pouting when she didn’t even squirm. “You’re not trickling… tickling… ticklish.” He corrected himself before finding the right word.

“Are you done yet? I want to sleep you know.” Chat threw his baton at the light switch, plunging the room into darkness again before burying his face in her hair.

“I am sleeping.” He promised, breathing against her hair.

“Sure you are.” She reached back and ruffled his hair before switching off her phone and trying to get up off the chaise so she too, could get some sleep, but Chat’s arms were unrelenting.

“Cuddle with me?” He whined softly.

“Ugh. Fine.“ She rolled onto her side, adjusting beside him until she was comfortable.“You’re such a cat.”


She grunted, giving him permission to speak.

“You promised to kiss me when I’m sober.” Marinette could hear the grin in his voice.

She didn’t open her eyes. “I did.”

“So… Good Morning kisses?” He asked hopefully.

Marinette snorted. “We’ll see kitten.”

EXO Reaction to you beating another member at leg wrestling

Original request asked for you beating Kai or Sehun at leg-wrestling, but I decided to let it be more general heheh hOW DOES ONE LEG-WRESTLE ??? looks at my weak-af legs

- Admin Audrey

Xiumin (sorry, the html messed up and deleted the rest of his reaction :(( ): Minseok would have this expression on his features as he subjects to his silent laughter. He would love seeing the leader being taken down by your stronger legs. Good-naturedly, after he has calmed down, he would prop his arm up on the table and challenge you to some arm-wrestling, lifting his eyebrow to further provoke you. 

Originally posted by xiuxiu900326

Suho: Junmyeon would be shocked for a moment, then burst into laughter with no shame, closing his eyes and leaning forward to cover his second-hand embarrassed expression. He would keep slapping Yixing (the loser)’s knee, yelling loudly: “Ahh, how could you lose?! It’s time to go start training again, yeah, yeah!” He would be all riled up and excited.

Originally posted by dawnlus

Lay: Yixing would try to stifle his laughter but fail, his chuckles spilling out as he watches Baekhyun collapse to the floor in defeat, you rise from your position victorious. He would find it so funny to see you excited over this physical victory and would make sure to applaud you many times over.

Originally posted by wealthyteethchanyeol

Baekhyun: Baekhyun would have recorded everything, laughing as he replayed it for all of you to see. “You slayed him, (Y/N), you savage!” he would comment, directing a lot of attention to you instead of making fun of Jongdae, who would be shaking you by your shoulders playfully as pay-back. “Savage, savage, I say!” Baekhyun declares, laughing.

Originally posted by ethereal-baek

Chen: Jongdae would lean back in his seat, the corners of his lips turning upwards in a huge smile as he bursts into laughter. He would immediately start making fun of Chanyeol and repeatedly saying your name like a chant, pumping his fists in the air as you make your way across the living room floor, your arms spread wide as you bask in your victory.

Originally posted by galaxychen

Chanyeol: The Happy Virus would be even happier to see you defeat Kyungsoo in leg-wristling, clapping his hands together loudly and focusing all of his attention on you as he declares you the winner. “Let’s go, Team (Y/N)!” he shouts, his deep voice resonating with joy and laughter.

Originally posted by dibidibi-disrespectful

D.O.: Kyungsoo wouldn’t be able to control himself when you beat Jongin in leg-wrestling. He would begin chuckling softly to himself, then allow it to grow louder as the events after your victory proceed onwards, the whole occurrance very amusing to him. He wouldn’t be able to say anything because he’s so overcome with laughter that he might excuse himself to calm himself down before re-entering.

Originally posted by missdyoo

Kai: Nini would be laughing the most, the mere thought of you beating Sehun in leg-wrestling setting off a whole additional round of giggles through his body. He would be very bright that day, enjoying the festivities among a group of close friends and would overall be very ecstatic. He would challenge you in a match of leg-wrestling, wanting to see if he could beat the ‘champion’.

Originally posted by vitunkpoppi

Sehun: The maknae would suddenly become very competitive, the great smile that donned his face since you defeated Minseok-hyung in leg-wrestling continuing on while he challenges you: “Come here, little one, I have a lot to teach you.” There would be playful joking tension between the two of you as you try to one-up each other, lots of ‘oh - you think you’re better than me?’ ‘uh-uh-uh, I have a lot to teach you!’ and ‘fight me!’s involved.

Originally posted by luderella

Did my nails with some nail wrap stickers for February (hoping it lasts through V-day at least!), and realized the color-coordination with that + my new Kate Spade bag reminded me of you, ahuhuhuhu~ :3

*DIES HAPPILY* Those designs are simply STUNNING and my favorite color palette! *.* I love nail art OMG and seeing this makes me squee so loudly! BEAUTIFUL WORK!

sitting in the living room working on homework. my dad is sleeping in the recliner, and my mom is sleeping in the adjacent room. both of them are snoring so loudly that

  • they wake themselves up with their own snoring
  • they wake each other up with their snoring

when awake, both adamantly claim that they do not snore. please someone else tell me that you struggle with snoring folks so that i do not feel so alone in the universe

anonymous asked:

Yoongi x reader, she/her, convincing her she's worthy of love, doesn't need to always survive on her own

Yoongi wasn’t going to let her push him away any more, regardless of how loudly she screamed or how hard she hit, he’d simply repeat that he’d always be their for her. Finally, when she’d calmed down, he’d wrapped his arms around her, trying not to show his pain as her frame shook against him, the soft echoes of torment manifesting as the tears which stained his shirt. “I’m here,” He’d whispered, ignoring the visible flinching of her body at the sudden break of silence, “You can’t keep doing this to yourself.”

anonymous asked:

#Jack gets off on Rhys being an asshole, it's so true tho oh my god

Rhys doesn’t even realize it at first, honestly. Just chalks it up to boredom making Jack shift back and forth in his chair constantly.

(Rhys can’t really blame him. This meeting is a goddamn nightmare and not one that Jack can even take care of in his normal fashion - no, this is Rhys’ project.)

With a his robotic fingers drumming loudly against the table, he stares at the, frankly, fucking moron stuttering about this and than about the numbers not matching up. With each stumbled word, Rhys can feel his patience wearing thinner and the scowl on his face growling.

“Oh my god just - shut! Up!” he finally barks out, standing up and smacking the table with his hand. Nearly everyone jumps around the table - Jack just shifts again and holy shit is that getting annoying too - but the guy looks like he’s going to piss himself.

(What is his name? Bobby? Billy? Whatever)

Rhys runs his flesh hand over his hair in agitation, bringing up the report to read of himself on his ECHOeye. 

Billy-Bob looks like he’s about to sit down, and Rhys snaps, “Nah-ah-ah! Stay right there until I’m done. Even you even think about moving, I’m going to toss you into a moonshot to Pandora. Maybe you can find out where the hell my money is going then.

He might have been picking up too much of Jack’s way with words. Rhys fully blames it on being his PA for so long; it’s a natural reaction to start mimicking someone he’s in close proximity to with all the time.

Speaking of being close to Jack. Beside him, Jack makes a noise and - oh for fucks sake.

Rhys does a double-take, staring incredulously at him. Or, rather, his lap. With his ECHOeye already running, yep, it just confirms what he’s seeing now.

Jack doesn’t even look ashamed he’s sporting a goddamn boner in the middle of a meeting. He just looks Rhys straight in the face and gives him this look that would normally have Rhys dropping to his knees.

Instead, it just adds to his growing headache and he scowls at Jack, pointing a finger right at him. “No. No way. Not now. Stop looking at me like that I am trying to work here.”

“Yeah, yeah, sure are, babe,” Jack just grins and grins and grins at him, entirely too amused by the situation, “Sure makin’ me work here. Which is kinda rude. Oughta give me a hand here, I think.”

Rhys scowls harder at him, but it’s ineffective. If anything, Jack’s lustful look just seems to grow in intensity. 

Fucking asshole is getting off on this.

Magnus at Alec's Wedding
  • Priest:Is there anyone here who has any reason that these two should not be wed?
  • Magnus:*clears throat loudly and rises*
  • Crowd::0
  • Magnus:...
  • Magnus:I am not the kind of girl...
  • Alec:Oh god.
  • Magnus:...who should be rudely barging in on a white veil occasion...
  • Alec:Why
  • Magnus:...But you are not the kind of boy...
  • Alec:By the Angel.
  • Magnus:...who should be marrying the wrong girl...
  • Alec:
  • Alec:
  • The Priest:
  • Lydia:
  • Jace:
  • Izzy:
  • Clary:
  • Alec's Parents:
  • The Crowd:
  • The World:
  • Magnus:*eyes him seductively and flicks blue sparks off his fingertips*
  • Alec and Magnus:*cackle maniacally as they skip off hand in hand into the sunset*

zazzed-ish asked:


anon: lams

  • who the fuck put the peeps in the microwave: lmao im still sticking with the john and herc put them in the microwave and get caught by the s.os
  • who forgot to put the cat outside before sex: alex because he’s horny af - i lied both of them
  • who posts vines of the other doing embarrassing shit: how amusing would it be if john is just kinda clumsy and curses really loudly and gets this little fit of rage when he does something and so alex starts a vine to post all the moments and hes just silently laughing because john will like knock a mug off the counter by accident, notice, just look at it on the ground and curse and he looks so shocked and innocent
  • who breaks the most phones: again alex has zero chill - definitely wears them out as well
  • who dies first: suck my nut ((: me
  • which one I could see as being lactose intollerant: john but that doesnt stop alex from eating whipped cream off him
  • who thinks they can do something really well even though they can’t: alex because he has no chill and always needs to impress people but also i can see neither because alex would know his strengths and probably not want to flaunt his weaknesses
  • who is more likely to get kicked out of the bed: ale x trying to crawl into bed at 5 am 
  • who uses the computer most: ALEX!!!

send me a ship yo

anonymous asked:

It baffles me whenever the loony Tony lover try to justify that Cait couldn't fall in love with Sam because she doesn't like muscly guys, she likes artsy men or she doesn't dates handsome actors, I mean you can have a preconceived type, but when THE ONE comes into your life, love just happens.

Well, you can know those things with unwaivering certainty when you read about someone on social media and pretend someone who knows them actually told you. Throw in the word FACT (all caps), 100%, a red pen and scream it so loudly they can hear you in the next county and you’ve got yourself the makings of a new story about someone you don’t know.

Can you imagine how eviscerated I would be if I said that Stella told me how much Cait loves Sam’s muscles and that she has never gone for anyone like Sam before but he completely broke the mold for her and she has never met anyone like him? Aside from feeling like a complete fool for even sharing something that should remain intimate, do you think for one second that I wouldn’t be screen capped and incessantly mocked for pretending to know the inner workings of Cait’s attraction to Sam?


Gunter is loudly gunting. Bolin is noisily turgling. But Franky is the best one.

It just boggles my mind when I see people deride skinship for letting you interact with younger - looking characters as molestation… like… have you ever experienced human contact? Have you ever babysat? Have you ever ruffled a cousin’s hair? Have you ever given a little brother a noogie? Have you ever fixed a sister’s ponytail? Pinched a cheek? Booped a nose?

It’s normal as fuck to physically interact with kids you’re friendly with, you god damn NEETs. Those characters being marriagable is a whole other kettle of fish – you don’t need to sexualize basic platonic contact to win an argument (and Treehouse is loudly, repeatedly assuring us that they’re all 18 anyway).