Adult Braces

I’m about to lay down some truth here and I know it’s the truth because I have had the misfortune of wearing braces… in adulthood [or whatever you call your twenties; human metamorphosis time?].

“You look fine with braces on,”
“You can’t even notice them,”
“Dont worry you’ll have them off in a year.”

The above quotes are utter bullshit and if you get adult braces you should punch the person(s) who tells you these lies in their lying liar face. Immediately. Cause here’s the truth… Get ready. Sit down. Make sure you put down all sharp objects you may or may not be holding.

You look like a fucking CHILD with a capital C and a capital Hild.

But alas, on the horizon are the straight teeth you were born to have. Once those teeth staightening machines are yanked out you may find you are a completly slutty different person as one tumblr user [this one right here] found out.

Here’s basically what happens…

I’m not lying. This is not some 80s teen movie. John Cusack is nowhere to be found.

GIF credit to kittenmeats.tumblr.com

“What came first, the music or the misery? People worry about kids playing with guns, or watching violent videos, that some sort of culture of violence will take them over. Nobody worries about kids listening to thousands, literally thousands of songs about heartbreak, rejection, pain, misery and loss. Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?” - John Cusack in High Fidelity

Whatever happened to chivalry? Does it only exist in 80’s movies? I want John Cusack holding a boombox outside my window. I wanna ride off on a lawnmower with Patrick Dempsey. I want Jake from Sixteen Candles waiting outside the church for me. I want Judd Nelson thrusting his fist into the air because he knows he got me. Just once I want my life to be like an 80’s movie, preferably one with a really awesome musical number for no apparent reason. But no, no, John Hughes did not direct my life.

Watch on spiesinthehouseoflove.tumblr.com

Say Anything (1989)