*jlaw

Dinner at jlaws house
  • Jlaw:"and that's when I said 'WHERES THE PIZZA!?!?'"
  • Dinner guests:*forced laughter as they eat their dinner consisting of only bread*
  • Bradley cooper to me:"can I offer you some bread"
  • Me:"oh um....I don't eat bread"
  • Dinner guests:*complete silence*
  • jlaw with mouth full of bread:"wait....what do you mean you don't eat bread™"
  • Me:"oh um well I can't-"
  • Jlaw:*makes wacky faces* "FUCK YOU!! you ASSHOLE!!!" *crying*
  • Me:"uh well...sorry it's just that I-"
  • Jlaw crawling across the table towards me:"YOU WILL EAT THIS BREAD"
  • Me:"please no"
  • Bradley cooper:"please Jen it's fine...."
  • Jlaw:*ugly crying* "SHUT UP!!! S H U T U P"
  • Jlaw:*takes a fist full of bread and shoves it in my mouth*
  • Me:*muffled crying* "please I have celiac disease I can't eat gluten"
  • Jlaw:"DONT GIVE IN TO SOCIETIES LIES!! EAT THIS BREAD"
  • Dinner guests:*still watching in silent horror*
  • Amy schumer:*thin lipped Amy schumer smile*
  • Oscar committee:"holy f uck Jen...."