*jai brooks

Caps drinking game

Take a shot whenever:

  • ovi and nicky display PDA
  • locker pronounces johansson “joe hanson” or burakovsky “bear-akovsky”
  • holtby leaves the crease
  • tom wilson gets in a fight or scrum
  • joe b says that someone “rips one wide”
  • that ad that goes “jay beagle’s a sport fan, you can be one too” plays
  • tj oshie scores a shootout goal
  • ovi moves up the ranks of some NHL list
  • kuzy has an overdramatic celly
  • jay beagle gets a point of any kind
  • someone’s facial hair is mentioned
  • joe b and locker call out a reporter or analyst by name
  • joe b and locker imply that they’re going to dinner together
  • you get 50% off papa johns
  • mcgriddles are mentioned

Take two shots whenever:

  • holtby wanders near the blue line or looks like he’s aiming to get an assist
  • a defenseman scores a goal
  • pittsburgh is mentioned in a game in which they’re not playing Pittsburgh
  • there’s a goalie change
  • someone other than tom wilson gets in a fight
  • a goalie gets a shutout
  • nicklas backstrom is talked about beyond play-by-play on a national broadcast
  • Someone scores a hat trick
  • caps win in OT

Take three shots whenever:

  • brooks orpik scores a goal
5

Um. Okay, the longer you stare at this picture, the more things jump out.

  • Andre, wedged firmly between his two dads, is now trying to cuddle Nicky, who seems amused by it.
  • A small child is side-eyeing the hell out of Ovi.
  • Braden Holtby somehow looks fucking flawless in goofy reindeer antlers.
  • Taylor Chorney looks… less flawless and like an amorous reindeer giving Evgeny Kuznetsov the eye, and Kuzya doesn’t know how to feel about it.
  • Tom Wilson, the biggest kid of them all.
Caps True Nicknames

You’ve heard of nicknames like “Ovi,” “Nicky,” “Kuzy,” “Beags,” and “Burracuda,” but get ready for the true nicknames of the caps players:

  • Karl “Iron Man” Alzner
  • Nicklas “MVP” Backstrom
  • Jay “Lord and Savior” Beagle
  • Andre “Needs Adult Supervision” Burakovsky
  • John “Beanie” Carlson
  • Taylor “Rhinoceros Horn” Chorney
  • Brett “Steel Jaw” Connolly
  • Lars “Good Genes” Eller
  • Philipp “Pure Soul” Grubauer
  • Braden “Sock Enthusiast” Holtby
  • Marcus “Silent but Deadly” Johansson
  • Evgeny “Wizard Boy” Kuznetsov
  • Matt “Murder Face” Niskanen
  • Dmitry “Hip Check” Orlov
  • Brooks “Grandpa” Orpik
  • TJ “Baby Face” Oshie
  • Alex “hahaha )))))” Ovechkin
  • Zach “Nipple Piercing?” Sanford
  • Nate “Sunshine” Schmidt
  • Jakub “Favorite Son” Vrana
  • Justin “Ridiculously Good Looking” Williams
  • Tom “Sin Bin” Wilson
  • Daniel “Lord of the Beard” Winnik