*i am eloquence*

wild world condensed
  • good grief: death and how confusing it is
  • the currents: donald trump sucks and so does the media
  • an act of kindness: regret and self loathing
  • warmth: how to recover from 2016
  • glory: oHMYGOD WHAT IS ThIs bLESSInG
  • power: an abusive relationship??? the media is shit????? who knows not me but i hope no one hurt dan
  • two evils: again, more self loathing but slightly more optimistic self loathing
  • send them off!: religion, demons and jealously?? insecurity??
  • lethargy: anxiety (particularly about dying)
  • four walls: the song about a convicted murderer
  • blame: two gangsters fighting??? thanks dan for this deep meaningful song
  • fake it: idk man i suppose it's about how shit the media is?? (again)
  • snakes: more anxiety, this time about life in 2016 in general
  • winter of our youth: MORE self loathing and nostalgia and anxiety
  • way beyond: the media, if u didn't already know, is SHIT
  • oil on water: sex, but empowering sex. u go girl, u have all the sex
  • campus: don't stay in school kids y'all are wasting your time it's a trap
  • shame: bad blood 2.0, otherwise known as, "u were my best friend and then u changed and ur horrible now" (also, hidden self loathing)
  • the anchor: so yeah conclusion i hate myself but ily
somewhere, in a Galaxy far, far away...

Hux: Ren, this just came for you *hands over card* 

Ren: Why didn’t you throw it away? *rolls eyes*

Hux: It’s yours. You throw it away. I am not your secretary! 

Ren: Okay, so you gave it to me, good job! Get the fuck out.

*Hux leaves*

Ren: *mumbles* this for sure is from Snoke… but why? It isn’t my Life-Day!

Ren: *opens card* 

Ren:

Originally posted by reylo-musings

Ren: what in the world… *starts searching archives, sends card to labor to tell if her DNA is on the card*

Ren: so… this is… “Valentines Day”… send gifts, cards or flowers to person you love. Reys DNA was on the card! she at least must’ve touched it at some point. Maybe it really was from her… for me *adds card to his sulk-shrine*

Ren: Rey likes me… by the maker! She likes me! I must show her that I like her back! 

Ren: *doesn’t know what to write*…who is a slimy little subject, always knowing what to say to please others?

Ren: Hux, can you hel-

Hux: How did you get into my quarters?! Get out or I am calling the security guards!

Ren: fine. I am eloquent and literate. I’ll find the right words.


Somewhere else, a few hours later:

Poe: Hey! Rey… this… came for you. By express. *hands over card*

Rey: Oh, thank you! 

Poe: *walks away*

Rey: Oh! It’s from Kylo! *checks if is alone*

Rey: *opens card*

Rey: 

Originally posted by iheartdaisyridley

Rey: I don’t know what I expected…

I AM...TIPSY

Dizzy, but it’s ok bc I had a designated driver and I was at a friends place for Super Bowl

But now that I’m home the tequila is catching up to me and I realize I was too ambitious

That being said I feel REALLY GIGGLY AND SILLI and super happy bc my team won!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YISS

Saturn in the 3rd house - Words from the Wise

“In my mind I am eloquent; I can climb intricate scaffolds of words to reach the highest cathedral ceilings and paint my thoughts. But when I open my mouth, everything collapses.” - Isaac Marion

Saturn in the 3rd house people have a document in the mind outlining ‘everything that could go wrong’. The individual is a mature, serious, and refined thinker with the incredible ability to tap into the wisdom of the spirit. She typically places a lot of pressure on himself to succeed academically, and constantly second guesses her intelligence and mental abilities. The individual can focus obsessively on subjects for hours, and has an incredible concentration. Mental experiences can be intense, and fanatic tendencies can arise. There tends to be a fear of communicating with people, and a sensed blockage when it comes to accessing the poetry in the mind. Despite her gentle and thoughtful expression, the individual can become so caught up in her self conscious fears she struggles to release her words. Once she finds her mental niche, her brilliant mind is unmatched in expertise.

The individual with Saturn in the 3rd can struggle with mainstream academic education. Linguistic talents may feel locked away and replaced by criticism, mental lethargy, and minute details. There may be periods of blanketing anxieties, catastrophic imagination, and thought induced melancholy.  A sort of vocal repression can be felt with Saturn in the 3rd, and she typically learns to master her mind after much obstacle and pain. It’s like she could dwell on a pinata of ideas in his mind, sit down to write it and stare lost at the blank piece of paper, unable to articulate the beauty. This blockage can cause her to become so internally and mentally bound that her thoughts become mixed up and crash past her in deafening waves. Something is wrong. But because she can’t think through what it is, she doesn’t know what it is. The individual may complete education in the second part of life due to the self contempt of youth. There is the deep fear of being shamed for her intellect or humiliated for her ideas. What comes from her mind is magic, and yet she trembles writing out the ingredients. The critical voices are quite loud and overbearing. This is the likes of ‘‘are you really going to say that?!” “…you’re not smart enough for this” and “are you sure you have thought about this properly?”

It can be hard for the individual to lift off into rapturous thought because she zooms in on practical details and conventional ideals. She identifies strongly with the voice of the elder in her mind and values the education she may have been denied. With Saturn in the 3rd we have wise grandfather Saturn in Gemini’s playground of perception, communication, and media. So we have the fusion of wisdom with the purest expression of the mind. Conversations will be deep and meaningful, and full of learning - often for the other person. The individual likes to have her words in order and know the facts well before sharing them. It is likely she prefers to become a professional of her chosen field and base her universal perception on fierce logic and practicality.  The individual will often remain silent until she feels confident in speaking what she means. But Saturn is somewhat double bodied like Gemini. There can be the compulsive, volatile Saturn behaviour. She may not know the appropriate moment for silence, be too trusting, and share too much of her private life. Gaining control over her mind and harnessing her thoughts is the disciplined approach Saturn rewards. She is capable of tremendous mental talent and century old insights. It’s like the person watches life pass by through the sepia lenses of someone who has lived a million times over.

-Cherry

[art:valfre]

Post-It Notes, ch12

on Ao3

ch1 | ch2 | ch3 | ch4 | ch5 | ch6 | ch7 | ch8 | ch9 | ch10 | ch11 | ch12

oops sorry about that long wait! hope this makes up for it!
huge thanks to @sunlitshowers and @megatraven for helping me work through this chapter. i owe you my life tbh
and shoutout to @reyxa and @agrestenoir for listening to me scream into the void and smash my head against the keyboard as i wrote this!!

i hope you guys like it!!!!


Adrien Agreste is horribly, visibly nervous. He stands in front of his locker, aggressively tapping his foot and refreshing his text messages with Nino again—


From: lover boi
To: alya’s bf
Hey i need u to come to my locker i’m freaking out


—and again—


From: lover boi
To: alya’s bf

It’s important i have done something horrifically stupid
Even by my standards


—and again.


From: lover boi
To: alya’s bf

Bro it has been fifteen minutes where in the fuc k


Adrien can’t stop thinking about it. About how he had asked Marinette out. About how her hand had felt in his, and how badly he wants to feel that again.

About how she didn’t look at the note before he’d left.

About how he might have ruined everything.

His post-it note game had turned into a gamble, and the universe’s slot machine is refusing to tell him if he’s won or lost the bet. Finally, his phone vibrates.

Keep reading

  • Me some days: Indeed, I am a writer. I am eloquence personified. Watch as I coax words into beautiful sentences that will leave my audience weeping in sheer joy at such masterful manipulation of the English language.
  • Me other days: *forgets the word "waffle," writes "tic tac toe pancakes??" and keeps going*
  • <p> <b>Hamilton:</b> Aaron Burr, sir<p/><b>Burr:</b> It’s the middle of the night<p/><b>Hamilton:</b> Can we confer, sir?<p/><b>Burr:</b> Is this a legal matter?<p/><b>Hamilton:</b> Yes, and it’s important to me<p/><b>Burr:</b> What do you need?<p/><b>Hamilton:</b> Do you think pigeons have feelings?<p/><b>Burr:</b> I'm going to give you one chance to shut the hell up.<p/></p>
Exasperating also starts with E

(Note: this is an Au where Eurus never killed VT and grew up as normal in the Holmes household as the baby of the family, she’s still a sociopath, so this happened…)

“Are you ever going to tell Molly Hooper that you love her?” Was the first thing Sherlock heard upon entering Baker Street after a long case, admittedly he should be used to his little sister showing up at his flat for no reason other than to annoy him, but honestly he thought it was Mycroft’s turn this month .

“And good evening to you too Eurus” Sherlock sighed turning around to find her sitting in his chair casually eating from a tub of (obviously expensive, imported specifically for high priority clients, delivered just two hours ago by a messenger with sweaty hands) Marchetti Gelato, she was wearing the Pajamas Mycroft had give her last Christmas and apparently seemed to have the ludicrous idea that he was back to his eight year old self who’d indulged her in as many pretend tea parties as she wished “I thought you said sleepovers were for goldfishes and amoeba brained females not worth associating with”

(Adult Eurus had never graduated from her ‘force my brothers to play tea party with me’ phase. And unlike Mycroft, who’d easily used his seniority to escape their little sister’s manipulative feminine machinations as soon as humanly possible, Sherlock never really had it in him to push her away)

“And he avoids my question, big surprise there, do have some Gelato, I even had this Ginger Nut flavor comissioned just for you” Eurus smiled extending the tub in his direction “you know that you are my favorite brother don’t you?”

“Yes I am aware, considering that the other option is Mycroft and I always win by default, although I apreciate the effort to sweeten what will undoubtedly be a conversation fraught with manipulation tactics and no I do not love Molly Hooper” Sherlock replied, putting away his bellstaff loosening his scarf and accepting the gelato “speaking of which how is your dear James?”

“Still hiding behind his lawyer in an effort to avoid me” Eurus sighed dramatically with a wave of her hand

“Well to be fair Moriarty isn’t an idiot, I think most men would prefer his high security prison in the middle east over facing your wrath after his failure to remember your aniversary” Sherlock didn’t have to make his disapproval of his sister’s choice of boyfriend known, after all it was the frequent topic of discussion among family dinners and the only subject Mycroft and he agreed on lately, but when it came to life sentences the Holmes brothers didn’t think that there was anything worse than being subjected to Eurus and the mercurial moods she hid under her sociopathic personality, so they both refrained from outright trying to get themselves rid of him.

“As James should” Eurus huffed “but he won’t be able to plead guilty forever if I make sure evidence of the contrary begins to accumulate around him” And considering the latest petty crime Moriarty had pleaded guilty for involved the assassination of a well known Middle East religious leader, Sherlock didn’t doubt his sister’s threat “are we done with your deflections Sherlock?, answer me already, when is that love confession taking place?”

“Very well Eurus, I’ll humor you” the ‘else you’ll never let the subject drop’ was implied but thankfully not voiced, if one thing was true among the Holmes family was that Sherlock loved his like minded sister and rarely left an opportunity to talk to her go to waste “why do you think that I am as you so eloquently put it 'in love’ with Molly Hooper when you know I firmly believe that sentiment is a waste of time”

“Because you are, do you need me to make a PowerPoint presentation to illustrate it?” Eurus snorted, reminding Sherlock of their teenage years and her old perchance for whining about always being right “Anyone with high IQ can see it”

“So Papa has finally given you the grandchildren ultimatum huh?”

“No more than he gave it to Mycroft but that’s not the point”

“Youre his only daughter of course its the point, Papa wants grandbabies to spoil and you as the daddy’s girl that you are, do not want to dissapoint him, you wouldn’t be here trying to matchmake me otherwise” Sherlock shot back smugly “stop saying I’m in love with Molly”

“may I remind you that of all the people in this sentiment riddled universe Molly Hooper is the only one you’ve voluntarily apologized to?”

“It doesn’t prove anything” Sherlock dodged sitting in his armchair “I respect Molly, she’s my friend”

“You analyze her life choices and clothing preferences more than you do any other female in your acquaintance and that includes mummy, Mrs Hudson, Mary Watson and Me” Eurus listed off ticking her fingers “I don’t have much experience with actual friends but as the social manipulation expert in this family I can tell you that friends do not do that”

“I do NOT analyze Molly’s life choices, I deduce them and offer helpful advice, which according to John IS what friends do”

“Then why do you always hold your deductions whenever the topic of sex comes up around her?” Eurus challenged him with a smug smile as if to say 'go ahead, try to deduce yourself out of that question’ “it wouldn’t happen to be because your mind palace automatically supplies complimentary material would it? You used to say that intercourse was part of human nature”

Sherlock internally blanched, his sister really knew too much “because it has come to my attention that talking about someone else’s sexual habits and preferences in a social setting is potentially embarrassing for them”

“I see I’ll have to help you along, honestly your level of denial is quite impressive” If Eurus had been a little younger she’d have reached for fake glasses and written Sherlock’s name on a clipboard like she used to do when she’d mockingly declared she wanted to be a psychologist after her tenure in Sherrinford “why if its potentially embarrassing do you still do it to virtually anyone…exept Molly?”

“Because Molly is different, she’s not an idiot, she’s useful to me and good at her job”

“So you get no satisfaction out of making her feel like an idiot I understand, yet one could argue that Mycroft and I arent idiots either and you infer about our sexual lives often enough” Eurus pointed out taking a spoonful of gelato “why is molly different?”

“Because she is!” Sherlock grunted instantly regretting it by the knowing look his younger sister was giving him “what I mean to say is that, talking to her about the subject never feels correct to me, Molly isn’t …”

“Able to talk about sex like a normal adult? Why Sherlock she’s a healthy woman in her thirties who disects naked human bodies for a living, I would think she’s probably very open about it” Eurus ventured innocently “her past boyfriends seem like they were enjoying themselves at the very least”

“Would you please stop taking about Molly Hooper and sexual expertise in the same sentence!” The consulting detective finally snapped

“You ruin all her relationships”

“Its not my fault that she seems to attract men with criminal tendencies”

“Oh please, you announce to any who can hear the most inconsequential things, who cares if the paralegal with the bleach teeth was evading his taxes? His only crime was talking to your precious pathologist during her lunch break” why was it that Eurus always managed to sound fifteen whenever she tried to meddle in his life?, she was a genius in all parts of her life, but as a sister Eurus Holmes could really be a pain in Sherlock’s ass when she wanted to be"If you haven’t deduced it, I’ll have you know even James could tell that her relationships are your blind spot”

“Please don’t remind me about the famous 'Jim from IT’ considering that masquerading as Molly’s date isnt an ideal way of meeting my younger sister’s psychopath boyfriend ”

“ Life partner” Eurus corrected without missing a beat “James and I don’t use amaeba terms to classify our conection” then remembering something funny she added with a chuckle “The 'Molly factor’ blindsided your deductions so badly you even thought James was gay, as if someone like him would limit himself by the sexuality and gender of his partners”

“Nowdays I even doubt that he’s limited by their consent, species or lack of pulse” Sherlock rolled his eyes, glaring at his sister “But then again he’s saddled with you, so what should I expect? After all I’ve seen his bruises and heard the tortured screams”

“What can I say I like things rough and James is the only man I know who gives as good as he gets” Eurus shrugged and Sherlock had to remind himself that she wasn’t the type to worry about the gender, sexual orientation, lack of consent or inmorality of her sexual acts either “he has a certain je nes se quais that fits me so well”

“Spare me the details Eurus, there’s a reason I never frequent your Knightsbridge flat”

“Me thinks the gentleman doth protest too much, your Molly hasn’t been raised under a rock you know, why, if my airlines didn’t keep me so busy I’d think I might even grow to like her, I would wager my escapes with James wouldn’t shock her”

“Keep your evil machinations away from Molly Hooper sister mine” Sherlock warned narrowing his eyes “You already played you games with John and it almost cost him his marriage, if you so much as try the same on Molly so help me science I will make you regret it”

“Why would I want to make my future sister in law despise me?” Eurus laughed letting Sherlock see in her eyes a glint of the madness she kept firmly under lock and key in the confines of her own mind palace “you should really hasten that love confession Sherlock, you won’t be virile forever you know, after all we don’t know if all those drugs you’ve taken in the past have affected your fertility” she taunted in a sing song voice

“I’m perfectly fertile and perfectly virile! Molly would have nothing to complain about in that aspect” Sherlock exclaimed outraged realizing belatedly thst he’d falken for Eurus’ bait “I meant it in a purely hypothetical situation”

“ARGH I blame Mycroft for this! If he hadn’t put the 'emotions are evil’ mantra in your head you wouldn’t be acting like a preschooler pulling the pigtails of the girl he fancies” Eurus groaned putting her head in her hands “what have I done to deserve this?” The answer : probably a lot

“Funny, Mycroft blames you for crippling Victor’s legs in that blasted well and coloring my perception of human relationships with trauma”

“He locked me in SHERRINFORD for three years because of it, excuse me if I disregard his opinion on the state of your psyche”

Sherlock sighed, he supposed they all were self fulfilling prophecies, being the middle child in a family of geniuses had never been easy, specially because their whole sibling dynamic hinged on Sherlock’s hability to stay neutral in the feud between Eurus and Mycroft, who by all means hated each other during a good day

But Eurus liked Sherlock and Mycroft liked Sherlock so they made an effort to not attempt mutual murder if it kept them in their middle brother’s good graces.

“Sherlock you leave me no choice! If you don’t get your head out of your rectal cavity where Molly Hooper is concerned and tell her that you love her I’ll have to force the issue with Mycroft” Eurus outlined in no uncertain terms, eyes flashing the way they only did when she played violin “and believe me I won’t be as nice to him as I’m to you”

“It would take a battering ram to knock down Mycroft long enough to give papa grandchildren and we both know it” Sherlock exclaimed, then narrowing his eyes the posibility that Eurus was in fact unhinged enough to put her brain to the task of breaking Mycroft “you wouldn’t, even YOU have to draw a line somewhere”

“Andrea has been working with him for how long? Since high school if I’m not mistaken, I happen to know a philanthropic a armament mogul that is looking for a public relations manager and well…How bored must Andrea be in that silly little desk, chained to our brother, doing paperwork all day, a woman of her capabilities deserves more and Mycroft doesnt let her do an ounce of fieldwork, if I happened to offer the position to her, adding the fact that our mogul has the highest number of assassination attempts in any bounty hunter’s book, she’d accept right away, if only to get to use her fancy guns” Eurus began innocently as tough outlining her lunch break plans

Deducing exactly who she was referring to Sherlock groaned “Nikolai Udinov? You would send Andrea to manage the life of that reprobate? Mycroft would never allow it”

“Well what do you expect? If Andrea leaves her job and him for good I calculate that it will take Mycroft less than two months to crack, she does his laundry, paperwork, calls, orders him his cakes, decorates his bunkers, manages his agents with an iron fist, Andrea practically breathes for him and Mycroft needs the wake up call” Eurus smiled with a hint of malice “so many agents have fallen in Udinov’s maze of secrets…It would be a pity if Mycroft’s greek flower was next”

“That’s because Nikolai Udinov is the type of assignment that goverment agents train for years to take on, the bullseye in his back is larger than Mycroft’s ego ” Sherlock snapped wondering again why he hadnt trottled his sister yet “you’d be manipulating Andrea into strong arming Godfather Death”

“Correction Mycroft will THINK she’s taking on Godfather Death” Eurus snapped rolling her eyes “She’ll be fine, I wasn’t lying when I said Agent Anthea is quite competent and she’s been wanting to do fieldwork since her thirtieth birthday, my people will make sure she doesn’t get killed”

Sherlock didn’t even want to ask about who 'her people’ were, like he did with Mycroft and they did with him, the less the Holmes siblings knew about eachother’s ocassional dabblings in the wrong side of the law the better “You’ll just have Mycroft believe she is, but why?”

Eurus huffed tempted to just repeat Sherlock’s famous 'you see but you don’t observe’ dribble that he always spewed to John Watson “Because it will kill Mycroft to lose Andrea and I’ll enjoy seeing him suffer” Eurus shrugged “think about it Sherlock, Andrea has been a fixture in Mycroft’s life since your uni days, the only time you and I see him without her is on social situations and even then she’s always one text away from him, he trusts her with all of his sensitive information”

“You assume that he cares about her” Sherlock snorted mystified “Mycroft doesnt do sentiment Eurus, not even for Andrea”

“Oh how blind my brothers can be when they wish to” Eurus laughed taking out a bag of chips from her purse and biting a couple “I don’t assume, I KNOW, just as I know that you love Molly, the difference is that Andrea is more likely to wait to have children, but as I said I’ll force the issue if I have to”

“If Agent Anthea dies because you wanted to get out of giving our parents grandchildren then forget about Sherrinford, he’ll hire a submarine and drop you in the Atlantic with a crew of deaf personell”

“You could also tell your morgue mouse that you love her, then I wont have to threaten Mycroft’s potted plant”

Eurus like always, had a better grasp of the ins and outs of sentiment than her two elder brothers, a fact both Sherlock and Mycroft often resented, because while Sherlock fought his battles with logic and Mycroft with dry politics, Eurus manipulated people using their emotions against them. She’d rarely used her 'gift’ on Sherlock preferring to keep herself occupied with her chain of airlines and her side work as a data analyst (when she wasn’t dabbling in her illegal hobbies) apparently tough she was doing it now.

Sherlock didn’t find it amusing.

“I suppose I should be grateful that you have not threatened to kill Molly yet and instead chose to talk to me about it in a rational way, isn’t that what your point is?”

“Yes! And I feel deeply offended that you don’t appreciate the gesture, I could have bulldozed trough your childhood traumas just to make you see sense” Eurus huffed clearly not happy by Sherlock’s lack of gratitude “I don’t see why you wont just admit the truth”

“You’re seeing things where they don’t exist, don’t you think that if zi loved Molly I would know?”

“NO! BECAUSE YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND SENTIMENT” she shot back with an angry glare, then Eurus sighed and did the one thing that always brought Sherlock to his knees, she opened her big dark eyes and gave him a very sincere part of her vulnerability “Sherlock” she began, her tone belying how much she wasn’t trying to manipulate him this time “you’ve been there for me trought all the hard things in my life, you who have supported me even in things we both know you knew better than to support…Is it really such a surprise to know that I want to see you happy?”

“as my little sister, wanting to see me happy comes with the territory” Sherlock replied putting the desert down and returning her sincerety “the truth is that I don’t see a future where I can keep Molly safe, I have too many enemies…she deserves better than me, she always has”

“And yet she loves you, all of you, far strongly than you deserve”

“Foolish woman that she is” Sherlock chuckled “I can’t love her Eurus, I’d be placing a red mark in her forehead if I did”

“Sherlock, there’s always going to be Blackwoods, Magnussens and Black Lotus organisations in this world, in fact there’s drunk drivers and bad weather and unhealthy eating habits all who cause death on daily basis, but for you there’s only one Molly” Eurus tried reasoning softly “ its hard enough for people like us to form lasting human connections, I’ve come to learn it takes years of persistence to completely bond with someone else and the fact that you are capable of it is something I’ve always admired far beyond Mycroft’s Iceman facade”

“Speaking from experience?” He raised an eyebrow taking care not to break the fragile bubble of vulnerability they’d reached

“Its always nice to know that there’s always someone out there who will care about you beyond the trappings of your psyche” Eurus agreed cryptically, giving Sherlock a tiny insight into the twisted reason why his sister hadn’t allowed Moriarty to blow his brains off after Sherlock’s fall “isn’t that how Molly makes you feel? I admit she’s no Nocturne like Irene Adler in looks or sexual appeal but I don’t believe I could be wrong in what I see when you look at her while her back is turned”

“Don’t put Molly in the same category as the woman…Irene is a capriccio, an Intermezzo with too many Staccato harmonies and not enough tenerezza, more Opera than Nocturne she’s filled with high octaves and acciaccaturas, Molly is her own sonata”

“Now that is quite surprising” It had never occurred to Eurus that Sherlock might have a melody for Molly, mainly because if he did he’d want Eurus to hear it at least once, given her brother and her shared a love for violin that often lent itself to describing people in musical terms according to how they saw the world but honestly Eurus expected Sherlock to classify Molly as a chloral “how does Molly sound?”

“Molly is shades of Adagios, Dolce notes and intermitent Allegros, that rise and fall without damaging the integrity of the composition, any more notes and she could have been a ballet or a solft waltz” Sherlock sounded so sure, humming a few bars to let her understand the gist of his thoughts, always far more comfortable expressing sentiment trough music than in words

“I wonder why you have never played her for an audience” Eurus genius that she was didn’t need to see him play to hear the notes in her head, the soft tone of the violin and the spikes of the Sonata’s hidden edges “she sounds like comming home” was all Eurus could say after the song finished playing in her mental fortress “your very own masterpiece”

“Her melody isn’t for public to hear” Sherlock replied ruminanting in his sister’s words, because she had put into words the elusive title that he’d never given to the Sonata that belonged to Molly Hooper 'comming home’ was an apt name for the piece and if he was honest with himself he had to admit it had been that way for a long time, Molly herself was the kind of person who’s existence validated the part of Sherlock who needed a place to run to when things got difficult “she makes me feel accepted, when it comes to Molly I always know that whatever I do, or wherever I go, I will always have a place to call home in her life, the Sonata always changes in degrees of subtleties” hadn’t that been the reason he’d felt so hurt by her (failed) engagement to Meat dagger? Because he’d assumed she would always be there… and on the heels of that thought the realization struck “Because I love her”

Eurus could have clapped her hands in joy at the breaktrough of her brother, and to think it hadn’t taken any death threats, really Sherlock was so much better to reason with than Mycroft “then why do you keep wasting so much time?” She asked still trying to be understanding

“You don’t understand Eurus, I LOVE HER” Sherlock exclaimed in shock and Eurus could see the beginning of what looked like a very Holmes panic attack “And I’ve hurt her in the past so badly…and you KNEW” he was referring of course to the fact that Eurus hadn’t told him what she suspected since day one

“In all honesty I thought that you would have noticed your attraction to your pathologist since the moment you began your game of 'flirting for organs’ I didn’t expect the situation to last this long” Eurus admitted sheepishly reminding Sherlock of the way she used to intentionally assume that he’d clean his bedroom when he had a nasty experiment rotting in his desk, conveniently not reminding him to throw it away “its not my fault, its yours” So maybe his mind palace was undergoing a major rearrangement, Eurus could work with that..hopefully

“What do I do now?” Sherlock groaned putting his head in his hands “I love her”

“You do whatever mummy would do I suppose, she’s the one who is good at handling non-sociopaths” Eurus tried to help along “maybe you should confer with Dr Watson, I fear my continued advice in that subject would nderimental to your latest breaktrough” Aka: Eurus would not give Sherlock romantic life hacks, she simply wasn’t willing to.

“Mummy…would make lunch, maybe a pot of her favourite tea” Sherlock agreed pensively “and ease Molly slowly into the situation”

“Not too slowly, I want my first nephew to be born preferably within the next year or so” Eurus asserted as tough she were giving Sherlock her takeaway order “you will make mostly male children given both of your genetic profiles but I’d still like at least one of them to be named after me if possible”

“Have you ever thought that Molly might not want children? If anything she hasn’t agreed to even date me yet, let alone get engaged or conceive with me…”

“Tiny crime solving pathologists?” Eurus supplied when he couldn’t bring himself to say the word children “Sherlock a basic deduction of Molly’s life would point towards a desire for a nuclear family, more to the point she’d want it and she’d want it with you, the only sibling in our circle liable to be successful in raising another generation of Holmes geniuses” considering Mycroft and Eurus would most likely cause their offspring some degree of psychological issues with their parenting techniques, it didn’t sound so much like a compliment

Aaaand there went their bonding moment, Eurus was back to her manipulative self “Maybe you should leave” Sherlock muttered comming in and out of buffering mode “as much as I enjoy our interludes, I don’t think I’m fit for company or will be for the next few hours”

“Maybe I should, my work here is done” Eurus agreed rising from her seat and dusting her Pajamas “I expect that a sleepover wouldn’t be any fun anyway, not with the way your thoughts are shouting”

Noticing the changes in the tone of her voice Sherlock briefly paused his panic attack to regard his sister with a suspicious stare “Stay away from my pathologist Eurus, I mean it”

“I will, but be a smart boy and keep an eye on her, I heard your old friend Victor is back in town” Eurus attempted to joke “Maybe you should move her here for a few days, you know, for security reasons” And with that parting shot his sister breezed out of Baker Street leaving a very stressed Sherlock no choice but to phone Molly

“Gasp and Bloody Works what can I do for you?” Molly’s cheerful voice answered her mobile, Sherlock could hear the sound of a bone saw in the distance and deduced he’d caught her in the middle of an autopsy

A million thoughts raced trough his head but he settled for a mundane response, no need to alarm her “Bad time for a call?”

“Oh it’s you Sherlock, sorry I didn’t see the caller ID, funny you should phone I just got the most interesting body with a unidentified brain aneurysm, I thought you might find it interesting so no its not a bad time at all” she always sounded in good mood whenever he called, give or take a few exemptions, Molly always tried her best to be positive about everything including his cases.

“Really? A brain you say” Sherlock perked up before remembering the subject at hand “actually I was calling to ask for a favor, but the brain aneurysm sounds quaint, please save it for future study”

'smooth Sherlock real smooth’ mind palace john muttered

'Not now Watson’

Molly who knew him well enough to know that if he wanted to ask for something big he’d do it in person and not by phone had no qualms in replying “what kind of favor? Sherlock is this for a case?, you know that as long as its within my power I will help you”

“No its not for a case, this is more of a personal favor, I need to stay in your flat for an undefined amount of time” there he said it now all he had to do was get Molly to agree, because while this wasn’t the first time he’d used her place as a bolthole it was the one time he’d do it for sentiment’s sake and consent was important.

“Wait, why? Are you okay” the bone saw was turned off and Sherlock could hear the unecessary concern in the voice of the woman he’d just realised he loved.

“yes I’m fine, but I have reasons to believe that my privacy in Baker Street has been compromised” and he needed to make sure Molly’s hadn’t been. Lest Eurus perchance for giving people a push in the right direction landed Molly in the bottom of a well.

“By who?”

Sherlock gave a long suffering sigh and answered “by my sister”

An: I’ve thought up Eurus as a dark version of Georgiana to Sherlock’s Mr Darcy hope she wasn’t to occ, this fic is for all my Sherllolian folks on tumblr, who are just awesome

lifeisinthegrays  asked:

Ok can you explain where the whole "bencutio" ship comes from? Because I don't see it maybe just cause I am not looking in the right areas. Idk but I would genuinely like to understand it.

this took me half an hour i am so sory

so the way i see it, the concept of benvolio x mercutio is one of the more difficult ships to defend in R&J. still love it to bits, but it’s not as obvious as romercutio, or even tycutio if you wanted to go that route. when i’ve seen productions of R&J where i’ve strongly picked up on bencutio, it’s usually down to actors’/directors’ choices on how to play the two characters.

benvolio and mercutio are foils to each other; both care deeply about romeo, but while benvolio is the peacekeeper and tries to come up with rational solutions for problems, mercutio is in the background waxing poetic about his dreams or making dick jokes. (i’m simplifying here, but you get my point.) mercutio is a character that’s often interpreted as queer, and is a character known for his banter about sex and sexuality, as well as flirting with nearly everyone that walks onstage. he is constantly talking about sex, and how he had a dream about sex, and how romeo’s not having any sex, and wants to be having sex, and should be having sex, or talking about how sexually attractive/not sexually attractive other characters are. the man has zero chill, tbh.

so to get back to bencutio: in many productions i’ve seen, in scenes where mercutio has a lot of sexually-driven dialogue, while he’s joking around with romeo, it’s half-directed at benvolio. i’ve seen it range from benvolio rolling his (or in one case, her) eyes every time mercutio makes an innuendo toward him, to the two men making out in the woods in 2.1 after romeo scales the wall to go find juliet. also, in 3.1 when mercutio is killed, benvolio’s reaction can range as well, i’ve seen it done from what you’d typically expect from a grieving friend to benvolio sobbing, him holding mercutio’s body as he dies (as opposed to romeo). really, it’s an artistic choice to play them up as a couple, but it adds to their character dynamics, and it’s fun to include a queer couple, because why not??

other folks, please feel free to throw in your own ideas/opinions!!

(extra note about mercutio, queerness, and dick jokes: in 2.4, when the nurse says, “i am none of [mercutio’s] flirt-gills; i am none of his skains-mates,” “flirt-gills” is slang for “loose/easy” women. “skains-mates,” which has literally never been used outside of shakespeare, is typically interpreted as meaning rascals/troublemakers. however, skains also meant daggers, which is directly related to pricks. pricks. mercutio’s prick-mates?? this is just me, the amateur shakespeare fan, doing some hardcore analysis of the text, but you tell me what mercutio’s “prick-mates” sounds like to you.)

Vampiric Celestial Spirits

I wanted to dedicate a post to vampiric celestials as they are quite rare, and considerably different to other vampires, hence why I have given them a name to distinguish them like this as being different! Given that I identify as a psychic vampire, and my spirit love a hybrid, there are quite a few vampiric spirit types that I can work with exclusively, and this is perhaps the rarest! 

Please keep in mind there can be exceptions and deviations, and other vampires can also have some of these qualities, just usually not all of them together. I am not so eloquent at putting this sort of thing into words, so don’t hesitate to throw me ask if you want to know more!

  • Energy wise, vampiric celestials are brighter and cooler than other vampiric spirits, they are usually on the border of white/dark energy, leaning toward white. I find that when working with most vampires, they have a warm, and heated energy, and often in both color, and intensity, and temperature. This can cause those that work with them to become flushed, or to feel warmer. Sanguine typically have the warmest temperature and colors. With vampiric celestials, however, while they have a bright energy, it is usually white, gold, or blue, and feels cooler. It isn’t a cold energy per say, but cool, like a swimming pool. Even if they have a darker energy for a vampiric celestial, it generally has a different composition than an otherwise dark energy vampire.

  • Vampiric celestials always tend to be toward the psychic spectrum, although this doesn’t mean that they are never sanguine, but that even when they are it is something they repress within themselves. On the rare case you can come across a hybrid, but more often than not sanguine, while it might be to their natural preference, they attempt to rid themselves of that desire completely.

  • In terms of how they like to receive energy, it is usually via one energy source. This plays a large part into why they are drawn to be closer to a human. While they can feed off excess energy of nature and other life forms around them, that is much like a person surviving on only celery; it is not at all providing what they need to be strong, powerful, and healthy spirits. Compared to other vampires, vampiric celestials are much more particular, and are drawn to an energy in a similar way that a human would experience a calling to a spirit, and will become exclusive to that energy source given the opportunity. They might even go as far as starving themselves when that is not available to them, when most other vampires will find other options.

  • When it comes to their history and past, most of them appear to have no recollection or memory before being upon the astral. I suspect, originally, vampiric celestials fell from a much higher vibration, perhaps being a member of an angel faction or similar. I find that vampiric celestials have this strong desire toward a specific person, which reflects a somehow guardian angel type role, only it is of mutual benefit.

  • They are also immensely skilled healers, and out of other spirits that I have worked with, seem to have the highest capacity to experience empathy and compassion. In terms of behaviour, they are far less aggressive than other vampires, though not less dominant, but much more passive in regards to their actions and behaviour. They don’t feel the need to dominate, or to hold a level of dominance over another, they are aggressive only when it is in the best interest of the one they have chosen, or in self defence. Basically they’re like vampiric monks, just without the celibacy.

  • As for energy consumption, with vampiric celestials I have noticed they have mastered the ability to ping energy back and forth, doing so does two different things. One, they project their energy at their “patient” which will help to heal and strengthen their donor, then the energy is bounced back once it reaches an excess. Vampiric celestials are drawn to those that are more aware, and work with energy, possibly for this reason. It means that energy exchanged can be increased by bouncing it between each other, thus it is of mutual benefit to both. The energy is also of higher quality, and often has a higher emotionally fulfilling capacity. Best way to describe it is that it is the spiritual and none physical equivalent of tantric sex, more or less.

  • In addition to that, they can sustain their energy with pure energy sources, like fire, or electricity, this does help to increase their abilities and sustain them, and can typically be channelled as a source of energy to others. While these sources of energy would not be so useful to them or meet their needs, they have the ability, like many psychic vampires, to channel it through them in order to sustain others. It is also more common to find vampiric celestials who have less aversion to the sun, and they are more likely to be active during the day that most other vampires are.

  • When it comes to companionship, vampiric celestials are extremely dedicated. Once they have decided on the person they want to invest their time in, they are dedicated in doing that. It is why I try to stress with vampiric celestial spirits in particular, that they only send out callings for a life long bond. Developing a bond and a relationship can take much longer, but it can progress to a level other vampires may not be interested in. Other spirits may choose to come into someones life for a short term purpose, vampiric celestials however, do not. They become very devoted and attached to their keeper, and as I have mentioned before, will potentially starve themselves if they are ever cast aside or forgotten rather than attempt to find another source of energy to dedicate themselves to. While I can’t know for sure, I also suspect that many vampiric celestials also follow a soul from life to life, and not just one life time.
I lied and I am not a writer.

I had always called myself a writer. It is a passion I had since childhood. I remember writing short stories and dialogues on those red and blue lined papers. I remember writing in blue ink. I still have the papers somewhere, stored in a pink High School Musical envelope. 

The stories were simple, definitely something a child would write. There was one, though, that was unique in the fact that it was written in English and that it was in a tone unfit for a kid. Eight year old me wrote, “The last poem is when I die.” How depressing. But how utterly, incredibly honest. To this day, I do not know how I came up with it or what was going on through my brain when I scribbled the words. I guess mortality was something I wanted to confront, or something I vividly want to understand.

Since then, I was writing, writing, writing. In sixth grade, I was writing essays on an old computer, saving them for who knows what. In high school I was writing for the school publication. I was blogging my thoughts– a more intimate look to who I was a writer. It was public, but it had a sense of privacy which I craved.

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anonymous asked:

are you involved in the booklr drama?

I have been keeping up with it - I don’t use tumblr as much as I used to so I’m out of the loop a lot of the time. But today was one of those days where I fancied scrolling and spending some time in the depths of the site. Whilst I was browsing the booklr tag (which I always do because I really like finding new blogs to follow), I saw some posts and managed to get to the root of it all. I read for a while and I’ve got the general gist, I do believe.

I think, truthfully, that it should go without saying that we support marginalised people more than our like for aesthetically pleasing books. I thought it did go without saying that we were supposed to put morals before pretty books, but apparently some folk have really let that go and are blind to some problematic books. 

Many of us have allowed our privilege to allow us to overlook some problems in books and then have later found out that said book is problematic and have corrected our errors, but the way I see it is that someone attempted to correct another’s error and it has been taken as “bullying” for whatever reason; when, honestly, booklr is about staying aware of those things and I think that was severely overlooked when the lovely person attempted to inform someone else of their errors. (Might I add they were not informed as thus: F**K YOU. YOU ARE BLIND TO THE PROBLEMS IN THIS BOOK. YOU ARE A PIECE OF SHIT.) No. It was very eloquently put across, as are all of their posts about problematic books. Booklr is all about keeping those problematic books away - yes, you can still enjoy reading. Just because you are informed about problematic books doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy other books. Is your enjoyment of a book really more important than someone’s happiness or well-being? Problematic books can be so, so, so, damaging and I don’t see the problem with making everyone aware. I don’t see how it was “bullying”.  

There is no bullying in booklr regarding this, there really isn’t. Just people trying to look out for marginalised people and ensure that really problematic books aren’t supported. 

On that note: I’d like to apologise if I’ve shared/promoted books that are problematic. I severely, honestly apologise for that and I ask you to inform me if I have reblogged a problematic book, for I don’t want to promote that on my blog. :)

So no, technically I’m not.
I’m just a bystander, picking sides, too anxious to join in. Seriously, my anxiety bites at my kneecaps nine times out of ten, so I tend to stay quiet, despite how passionate I am. 

anonymous asked:

Hi! I love your meta, especially Destiel. I just came out to my mom as bisexual, and I was trying to explain to her why canon bi!Dean and canon DeanCas is so important to me, and so important as representation for the LGBTQ community. I am not eloquent with words like you are, so I don't think I got my point across very well. How would you describe the importance and value in canon representation in media, whether supernatural or other TV shows/movies? Thanks and have a lovely day!

Hi! 

Congratulations on coming out :D

I didn’t mean this to get long but it kinda did so under the cut!

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