Being Attractive = Halo Effect?

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In which I make a giant headcanon post based on one fucking sentence from the Halo wiki

The Jiralhanae before being absorbed into the Covenant, had a polytheistic religion…however unlike most polytheistic beliefs, they did not have a large amount of gods. They only had three. Soirapt, Teash, and Warial, the three Lords of the Moons, which also served as the three afterlife destinations for Jiralhanae.

Soirapt and their moon (”Lords” is an unexact translation, all three Jiralhanae gods are in fact genderless) was the home to the greatest Doisac had to offer. Chieftains who brought glory to their packs, ancient heroes, soldiers who died to protect their packs, women who devoted their lives to their womenly roles. This moon was their resting place. Notably it was the only moon not colonized after the Covenant came, even though the others were, because of its sacredness.

Teash and their moon was the home to those who neither did good or bad, they just lived their lives. This includes average Chieftains and soldiers who didn’t really do much good, but also didn’t activily ruin anything, and those who did things such as trade and craft which held society together, but didn’t really get lauded for it. All children who died were believed to go to this moon, as they never lived long enough to become good or bad. It was believed most of the dead went here.

Warial and their moon was the home to the worst Jiralhanae to ever live. This is where the criminals, traitors and cowards went. It was the destination for all who brought ruin to their packs, even if it was unintentional. While Teash ended up having a somewhat respectable community of colonists, Warial served only as a haven for the undesirables of society, for no one else would want to step foot on it. 

The spirits of the dead only were on the moons during the night, when the sun rised, the spirits came to Doisac to serve as vassals to their lunar lords.

The spirits under Soirapt, brought glory in battle, helped packs gain land and resources, watched over the births of children, and made sure all were fed and healthy.

The spirits under Teash, helped oversee craft and trade, and also looked over natural phenomena that was not considered beneficial nor terrible for the Jiralhanae, such as vegetation (since the Jiralhanae were carnivores). They also were said to look after children as they grew.

The spirits under Warial only brought despair, failure in battle, pain, suffering, miscarriages, plague, pestilence, famine, drought, anything that could be the end of a pack, were their doing. 

Because it was obvious that Soirapt couldn’t serve every pack (as both sides can’t win a battle for example) the Jiralhanae prayed to the gods, and tried to win the favor of Soirapt or to ward away Warial’s influence. 

the Halo franchise spans so many games, novels, comics, live action films, graphic novels, and so on, it’s so much to take in

so it can be easy to forget what is quite objectively the greatest scene in the entire series

I’m on center of the mom’s bed. So what?


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Hey you all remember that time me and someone else (I can’t recall) were like “Hey lmao who do you think would be the most scared on a roller coaster John or Locke?” which all resulted in us joking and talking shit and having a jolly good time when @haruspis came in like

“FYI when Locke was a kid he was evacuated from his home planet  just minutes before the Covenant glassed it so he probably wouldn’t like roller coasters very much! :)" 

and we just

Originally posted by gifs-for-the-masses

You know it’s funny to me that people claim, because of Halo 3 and 4, that Cortana is an “annoying damsel in distress that must always be saved by Master Chief.” Considering that 1. Yeah she’s a damsel in Halo 3 but it (unfortunately) serves the plot and not just the sake of being saved. And 2. In Halo 4, she saves John, and to an extent, herself.

But you know who you repeatedly, in all three of the first games, have to save for no reason other than the sake of saving? Sargent Johnson.

Sargent Johnson is the Damsel In Distress™.