every time I see some stupid reference to Return of Kings I have to sullenly remind myself that they’re not talking about Aragorn, crowned Elessar Telcontar, king of united Gondor and Arnor.

The Illegitimacy of Aragorn’s Claim To The Throne

 (from The Toast)

“…Even after the threat of Mordor is ended, Gondor would be an embarrassingly backwards place to live. Despite claiming to be the most advanced of Mannish countries, Gondor still crowned a king whose royal legitimacy makes the Hanoverian Succession look entirely reasonable. Aragorn, son of Arathorn may have been a great leader and high fantasy’s hottest octogenarian, but his claim to the throne of Gondor was bullshit.

Aragorn traced his lineage back three millennia to Isildur, who along with his father Elendil and brother Anárion, founded the kingdoms of Gondor and Arnor after escaping the downfall of Númenor. After they died, rule of Gondor passed to Anárion’s son Meneldil, and rule of Arnor went to Isildur’s son Valandil. Arnor eventually fell into civil war before it was wiped out by the Lord of the Ringwraiths, then going by the impossibly badass name of “Witch-king of Angmar.” Aragorn’s family then gave up their royal title, went into the shadows, and became the Rangers. The descendents of Anárion ruled Gondor until Eärnur, the last king, was captured and tortured to death by the aforementioned Witch-king (an important prophecy from the Third Age: If you’re a man, you should not fuck with a terrifying wraith who rides a pterodactyl and calls himself the “Witch-king.” If you’re a woman, stab him in the face).

Aragorn’s claim to Gondor’s throne rests entirely on his being descended — after 3,000 years — from Valandil and Isildur, who were kings of Arnor. The closest real-world parallel to this would be an Italian man claiming descent from Romulus showing up in Ankara and claiming to be King of Turkey, because Romulus was supposedly descended from Prince Aeneas of Troy. Imagine if you found out your ancestor, thirty-seven generations prior, was the brother of an Egyptian pharaoh. Do you know what that would make you, in terms of Egyptian political succession? NOTHING. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

Gondor’s own laws and rulers even recognized how ridiculous Aragorn’s claim was. Arvedui, the last king of Arnor before he drowned in a shipwreck, once claimed the throne of Gondor, but the Council of Gondor rightly rejected him, saying the royal line of Gondor was descended from Anárion, not Isildur. Aragorn, like a many an illegitimate dictator before him, was only able to seize power due to the breakdown of law and society during the great crisis of the War of the Ring. Even then, with the doom of Gondor looming, Denethor the Steward of Gondor told Gandalf he wouldn’t bow to Aragorn, “last of a ragged house long bereft of lordship and dignity.” (Denethor may have been Middle-earth’s Worst Dad Ever, but he had a point there: Aragorn came from royal stock, but the only thing his family had administered for a thousand years was a forlorn wilderness full of ruins, wolves, and trolls that talked like Victorian gutter urchins.)” - more


In the gathering dark, the will of the Ring grows strong. It works hard now to find its way back into the hands of men. Men, who are so easily seduced by its power. The young captain of Gondor has but to extend his hand, take the Ring for his own and the world will fall. It is close now, so close to achieving its goal. For Sauron will have dominion over all life on this Earth, even unto the ending of the world. The time of the elves is over.

anonymous asked:

obikin for the ship meme thing

bless ur kind soul anon

  • Who wakes up first?
    Obi-Wan. He’s a nauseatingly ‘morning’ person, so the moment the sun comes up he’s wide awake and climbing out of bed. (An hour later he comes back and makes his fifteenth attempt to remove Anakin from beneath the cocoon of blankets by pulling him by the ankles, whilst Anakin flails and makes angry noises)
  • Who is grumpiest in the morning?
    Anakin. See above.
  • Who cooks breakfast?
    Obi-Wan. There was an incident with Anakin and a toaster when he was a Padawan that nearly got the whole Temple evacuated, and since then Anakin has been banned from all food-making/hot equipment ever in the interests of health and safety, and Obi-Wan’s sanity.
  • Who serves the other breakfast in bed?
    Obi-Wan. He doesn’t even trust Anakin pouring milk on cereal some days.
  • Who suggests the skip work and stay home?
    Anakin. He has two favourite pastimes, eating and sex, and they usually overlap in the morning when breakfast is served and Obi-Wan is still in his lounge pants. Easy access.
  • Who falls asleep on top of the other?
    Anakin used to when he was a Padawan, but nowadays it’s more Obi-Wan when he falls asleep reading and Anakin teases him about being a geriatric before his years.
  • Who always has to be touching the other?
    Anakin. He’s a very tactile person, and he’s always leaning into his Master’s personal space or brushing their hands together or resting a palm on Obi-Wan’s back because he just can’t not.
  • Who stays up until 2 reading?
    Obi-Wan. Long, incredibly dull (according to Anakin) books about the history of the galaxy, at least until Anakin is fallen asleep, and then he probably gets like harlequin romances out lmao
  • Who kisses their partner while they’re sleeping?
    Anakin ;w;
  • Who is most adventurous?
    Anakin. To the point of recklessness. Obi-Wan has pretty much given up on trying to teach him any better nowadays, and has adopted the ‘if you can’t beat them, join them’ approach to make sure his former Padawan doesn’t get his ass handed to him too many times.
  • Who is most protective?
    They’re both incredibly protective. Anakin is more physically protective, always trying to form a human shield between his Master and whatever is trying to hurt him (much to Obi-Wan’s annoyance, because really, Anakin, self-preservation is a thing and I can honestly handle this, so will you please stop flinging yourself bodily into the way of every bolt heading for me like some kind of galactic goalkeeper?)
    But Obi-Wan is more mentally/emotionally protective, because he knows how vulnerable Anakin is so he takes care to make sure others don’t bruise Anakin’s feelings too much. Which likewise drives Anakin insane because Obi-Wan is a firm believer in a little white lie every so often, about trivial things, and Anakin is just???? Master why didn’t you just tell me????
  • Who cares too much?
    Anakin. He always has </3
  • Who is most competitive?
    Anakin. Literally everything is a competition, from who can shower fastest to who can drive the speeder the fastest without the cops catching them to who can fit the most grapes into their mouth (‘so uncivilised, Anakin’)
  • Who sings in the shower?
    Both of them. Who sings well in the shower: Obi-Wan.
  • Who is more likely to get naughty in inappropriate places?
    Anakin. He has the least impulse control.
  • Rate this ship:
    8439486498738/10 my babies my sweet star children