*g:mmw

He’ll Find His Way Home

Originally posted by mertcannn

Author’s Note: This is a Jax Teller imagine based on Still Breathing by Green Day a requested by a wonderful Nonny, and imagine number two for MMW day 1. This imagine is rated T. Hope you all enjoy!


He’ll Find His Way Home

-XX-
I’m like a child looking off on the horizon
I’m like an ambulance that’s turning on the sirens
Oh, I’m still alive
I’m like a soldier coming home for the first time
I dodged a bullet and I walked across a landmine
Oh, I’m still alive

Am I bleeding? Am I bleeding from the storm?
Just shine a light into the wreckage, so far away, away

‘Cause I’m still breathing
'Cause I’m still breathing on my own
My head’s above the rain and roses
Making my way away
'Cause I’m still breathing
'Cause I’m still breathing on my own
My head’s above the rain and roses
Making my way away
My way to you
-XX-

‘I’m on my way home Everly, I promise.’

The voice mail plays on a loop in her head and she tries desperately not to look at the clock. It’s been nearly forty-eight hours since Jax left that voice mail and there’s been no sign of him and though no one has said it out loud, she knows that she isn’t the only one whose worried.

The worry plays out in different ways; Gemma’s incessant need to bake, Clay’s silence, Chibs’ usual slow to anger trigger has become dangerously short and having found herself on the receiving end of said anger she finds herself going out of her way to avoid him.

“Hey lass,” Chibs’ voice breaks through her thoughts and jumping she turns to find the older man standing behind her. His hands are tucked in the front pockets of worn in jeans, and because she can’t bring herself to look at him she stares at the scarred boots he wears. “Everly, look at me.”

Taking a steadying breath, she lifts her face and finds him smiling, a soft, genuine smile he seems to only reserve for the women of SAMCRO.

“I owe you an apology lass,” he says and when she shakes her head he reaches out to her, closing callused hands over hers. “When I’m an ass I can admit it, and I was an ass. I’m just worried about Jackie…”

“I know Chibs, we all are,” she says offering a shaky smile as she turns her hands over under his, and anchoring herself to him she allows herself to feel the first honest feelings she’s felt since Jax went missing. “I just want him to come home.”

“I know lass,” he says pulling her close, and when he presses a kiss to her hair she closes her eyes and holds on. “Jackie will find his way home, he always does.”

-XX-
I’m like a junkie tying off for the last time
I’m like a loser that’s betting on his last dime
Oh, I’m still alive
I’m like a son that was raised without a father
I’m like a mother barely keeping it together
Oh, I’m still alive

Am I bleeding? Am I bleeding from the storm?
Just shine a light into the wreckage, so far away, away

'Cause I’m still breathing
'Cause I’m still breathing on my own
My head’s above the rain and roses
Making my way away
'Cause I’m still breathing
'Cause I’m still breathing on my own
My head’s above the rain and roses
Making my way, away, away…
-XX-

As Jax walks he spits blood but he keeps moving. Every step he takes puts distance between him and them, and the more distance there is the better. He got off easy, and he knows it. What he doesn’t know, and what he isn’t ready to face just yet, is that someone in his club, one of his own Brothers, sold him out.

The whole time he was held it was thoughts of Everly and his boys that kept him going, and he winces. Not from pain but from the realization that Everly is probably crawling the walls, and reaching into his pocket he pulls his phone from his pocket, groaning when he finds the screen shattered.

“Go figure,” he hisses to himself as he shoves it back into his pocket. He knows where he is, lucky for him his new found ‘friends’ had the decency to drop him not too far from town. So, he just keeps on walking.

::

“I’m going to call the police,” Everly’s words draw the attention of every person in the room, and everything goes to quiet she wonders how no one else can hear her heart pounding against her ribs. “I know what you are all going to say, and honestly, I don’t care. Jax has been gone for three days now. Three days. No calls. No texts. No signs. This is beyond me. Beyond any of you.”

“I don’t think we need to be getting the cops involved sweetheart,” Clay’s voice is the loudest dissenter and Lord knows she is not at all surprised.

“Why? Because you know where he is? Because you have something to hide?” she demands ignoring the sharp intake of breath from beside her. She knows that Gemma is staring at her like she’s grown another head, but she can’t find it in herself to care. “Your VP is missing and you sit here like it’s nothing, in fact Clay, you look pretty well rested for someone so worried…”

“That’s enough!” Clay explodes causing her to take a step back, but she’s satisfied by what she sees, and she knows by the looks on the other guys faces that she’s on the right track. Clay has something, if not everything to do with Jax’s disappearance.

“I’d say so,” Jax’s voice fills the clubhouse and she swears she feels her heart drop into the pit of her stomach and turning she stares in disbelief.

Jax stands, dirty and disheveled, but he stands nonetheless. She looks past the blood, past the bruises and when he smiles at her, she shakes her head.

“Jackson,” she hardly every uses his full name but when she does he knows he’s in trouble and when she launches herself at him and she tries to pull away when he winces, a hiss of pain escaping his lips he just holds her tighter. It seems like forever before she finally manages to step away, and cupping his face between her hands she offers a watery smile, only to be pulled away so Gemma can fawn over him.

“Where the hell were you?” Gemma asks running a hand over his hair and when he catches her wrists in his hands, shaking his head a sense of dread fills Everly.

“Why don’t you ask Clay,” Jax demands.

“Jax, what are you talking about?” Gemma asks him as he turns his attention to Clay who stands fuming and flustered.

“Clay was the only other person who knew where I was going Mom,” Jax says, eyes narrowing on the older man he’s thought of as a father for so many years, wondering where along the lines he turned into the monster he sees now.

-XX-
As I walked out on the ledge
Are you scared to death to live?
I’ve been running all my life
Just to find a home that’s for the restless
And the truth that’s in the message
Making my way, away, away

'Cause I’m still breathing
'Cause I’m still breathing on my own
My head’s above the rain and roses
Making my way away
'Cause I’m still breathing
'Cause I’m still breathing on my own
My head’s above the rain and roses
Making my way, away
-XX-

He lets himself into the house and shrugging out of his Cut, Jax takes the time to hang it. He sent Everly home hours before while the club talked things over, and though they’ve come to no conclusion on how to handle the things that are coming, he’s satisfied with the progress they made; but more than anything else he’s happy to be home.

Slipping down the hall he peaks his head into the nursery, and finding the boys asleep he smiles softly before making his way to the room he shares with Everly and leaning against the door way he watches her. She’s curled on her side, red hair falling in her face as she sleeps, her face pillowed on one hand while the other lays outstretched on his pillow. She wears one of his shirts, and something inside of him stirs when she shifts and the shirt lifts a little higher on her thighs.

“I didn’t think you were coming back,” her voice is soft, drawing him from his thoughts, and pulling the shirt over his head, he drops his jeans at the door and climbs into bed beside her. She slides easily into his arms, fitting against him as no one else has before or ever could, and letting out a contented sigh he buries his face into her hair.

“And leave you alone to deal with my Mother?” he tries for light but when Everly’s shoulder shake he knows he has to let her ride this one out and that’s exactly what he does. He holds her as she rides out the near constant waves of emotion, until finally her face turns into his neck, her lips pressing against his skin, and with his touch soft he tips her face up, and with a soft smile he brushes his fingers along the skin of her cheek.

“You and the boys were all I could think about while I was gone,” he says, and brushing the hair from her face, he presses his lips to her forehead, trying to smooth away the lines of worry etched there. “I was coming home to you, no matter what it took.”

“I know,” she murmurs and when she rests her head against his chest, letting out a shuddering sigh he knows the worst of it is finally behind them.

-XX-
'Cause I’m still breathing
'Cause I’m still breathing on my own
My head’s above the rain and roses
Making my way, away
My way to you
-XX-

Crazy for Her

Originally posted by couplenotes

Author’s Note: This is a Juan-Carlos “Juice” Ortiz imagine based on Stupid Love by Jason Derulo as requested by a lovely Nonny, as well as imagine number 4 for Music Mania Week. This imagine is rated M for language. Hope you all enjoy.


Crazy For Her

For some falling in love is a slow slide, others are dragged kicking and screaming into it, for Juan it was a rapid fall and a slap in the face all at once, and if he was completely honest he’s not quite ready to admit it. Not yet at least.

He never saw it coming, and surely never imagined he’d fall for the resident good girl; but here he is, walking her dog at a quarter to one, and not because she asked him. She never would. Oh, no, he was doing it because he wants to. He finds himself wanting to do things for her more and more, and he knows that if he isn’t careful before too much longer the guys at the shop are going to have something to say.

Letting himself back into the house, he bends down to release the leash from Luka’s collar and straightening he finds Faith leaning sleepily against the door jam, a soft smile on her lips as she stares at him.

“Did I wake you?” he asks softly as he crosses to her, reaching a hand out to run down her arm, fingers lacing with hers.

“You got out of bed,” she says as her head comes to rest on his shoulder. “You didn’t have to take Luka out; I would’ve done it.”

“You need your sleep,” he murmurs and with a finger tipping her chin up he studies her. He knows that she’s been working herself harder than normal lately, and he hates it. He loves that she has initiative and goals, he just wishes she would take it a little easier on herself. He runs his hands over her hair, trailing his fingers down the column of her throat and because it calls for it he presses his lips to her jaw, lips and teeth scraping drawing a soft moan from her that sends a thrill straight to his stomach.

“I’m not the one who rode for nearly forty-eight hours straight,” she murmurs as her head tips back so his lips can explore more of her skin, her own hands coming up to run over his head. “Mmm, have I ever told you how much I love it when you do that?”

He lifts his face to hers a broad smile forming on his lips as his eyes glow with a mischievous glow that draws a soft laugh from her lips.

“You might have mentioned it,” each word is punctuated by a kiss and when she wraps her arms around his neck he swoops her up carrying her right back to bed.

::

“Juice, got a minute?” Jax asks first thing when he walked into TM the next morning which he wouldn’t have thought anything about if it wasn’t for the look of simmering anger on the VP’s face.

“Sure, what’s up?” Juan asks before the door to church is closed behind him and he finds that Jax isn’t on his own. Chibs and Happy sit at the table, and a sense of dread begins to fill his stomach. “What’s going on?” He searches his memory, thinking over the last couple of days. Nothing went sideways on the run so he knew it couldn’t have anything to do with that, and as far as he knows he hasn’t missed a call or text.

“Want to tell us why Pastor Lindsay was in first thing this morning raising all sorts of hell?” Jax asks pulling a cigarette from the inside pocket of his cut and Juan’s stomach drops out.

“Well see…” Juan’s words trail off when the guys erupt in laughter.

“Bro, nailing the pastor’s daughter? Never thought you’d have it in you; Tig sure, but not you Juicy Boy,” Happy laughs standing to clap a hand on Juan’s shoulder, but all Juan can do is blink.

“Wait it isn’t like that…”

“That’s not what the pastor says, how did he say it Chibs?” Jax asks and turning his attention to Chibs all Juice can do is listen on.

“He’ll be damned if any biker filth defiles his daughters honor in the eyes of God…” Chibs takes on a deep, rumbling tone before breaking into laughter. “Or something like that…”

“Good on you Juice, seriously, but it’s time to cut ties,” Jax says blowing smoke up towards the ceiling. “You had your fun but we don’t need the Lindsay’s running their mouths around town or putting their noses where they don’t belong.” Jax gets to his feet effectively putting an end to the conversation and giving a shake to his Juan turns to look at his brothers filing out ahead of him.

“I can’t do that,” he says nearly wincing when Jax freezes, shoulders tensing before he turns to look at him through narrowed eyes.

“You can, and you fucking will Juice, that wasn’t a request…”

“I love her,” the words tumble from his lips before he can stop them but once they’re said he can’t take them back, he doesn’t want to. It feels good to say it. “I’m in love with her.”

::

“Juan?” Faith smiles when she finds Juan sitting on the top step of her porch. She wasn’t expecting to see him until later, but she’s happy to see him nonetheless. Her smile fades quick when she sees the look on his face. “What’s wrong?”

“Your father made a visit to TM today,” Juan says getting to his feet slowly and by the seriousness of his tone, and the way his eyes refuse to meet hers Faith knows what’s coming.

“I see,” she says, trying to rain in her emotions, but her voice shakes anyways. She doesn’t know why she thought it would be different this time; maybe it’s because she’s found herself in love with Juan. “Look I have to go to dinner at my parents so I’ll make this part easy. I’m sorry for whatever my father said to you and anyone in his path, it was fun while it lasted and I wish nothing but the best for you.” Her voice gives out on her before she can finish the practiced speech and as she moves to brush past Juan he reaches out taking her arm in his hand.

“Hey, are you breaking up with me?” he asks and blowing out a breath Faith turns to look at him.

“I know how this goes Juan, how it always goes. My dad intimidates my boyfriend, boyfriend breaks up with me with some lame ass excuse, swears we’ll stay friends and I never see them again, rinse, repeat. I’ve gotten good at this part, so please, just go…”

“Faith,” he says hands coming up to take her face in his hands, “look at me, I’m not going anywhere. I just wanted you to know that your Dad came by, raised a little hell with my brothers…”

“It’s what he always does,” she murmurs but the thought of losing Juan ignites something inside of her and taking him by the hand she all but drags him to the car.

“Where are we going?” he asks and looking at him she smiles.

“To see my father.”

::

“It’s fucking stupid is what it is,” Tig’s voice carries down the hall and Juan follows it, hovering just out of sight. “Juicy Boy’s just caught up in sweet pussy, give it a month, two tops and he’ll be back to normal, until then maybe we can do a little pressuring for our part. Someone should pay a visit to Faith…”

“And say what?” Juan asks stepping out of the hall. “What would you say Tig, to make Faith run away?”

“Juice…”

“She’s in my room,” Juan says motioning with his arms, “go ahead and go in there and tell her whatever fucked up bullshit you think will make her run, but before you do you should know something. I watched that girl go around and round with her father tonight. I watched her stick up for each one of you, for me, and I watched her father disown her, telling her that her soul is damned for loving me, and she is still here, so unless you have something better than that to say to her, I’d suggest you save your breath and fucking suck it up, because I love her, and I don’t know why, but she loves me too.”

“Well okay then…”

Juan walks away from his brothers, and he knows it’s going to take some time for them to adjust to Faith and he knows that they will; they always do whenever another old lady is brought into the fold, until then he’s willing to take the lumps for her. He’s crazy for her after all

I only heard about Magic Meat Week yesterday, but I had to take part. MMW is a commentary on the ‘empowering’ costumes that women in fantasy settings are put in… By putting male characters in similar such outfits.

So here’s Mordy. Mighty wizard. Mostly wearing his own wizardly clothes, but… Differently. It wouldn’t actually be hard to get him to wear this.

Don’t Hold Your Breath

Author’s Note: This is an Alexander “Tig”Trager imagine based on Katy Perry’s Hot N Cold as requested by the lovely @hoooli13. This is also imagine number 5 for Music Mania Week. This imagine is rated M for adult themes and language, hope you all enjoy!


Don’t Hold Your Breath

Maggie has patience, Lord knows she has it spades, she must when your job is wrangling in thirty kindergartners daily, so her patience is a deep well, except for when it comes to Alexander; that pool is running dangerously low.

In fact, it’s draining by the second as she sits at the bar in the clubhouse watching him drink and flirt. They’ve been doing this weird dance the last six months, her eyes narrowing as some pretty blonde leans in close to whisper something that has a mischievous light flickering on in Alexander’s eyes.

“Fuck this,” Maggie hisses as she finishes the last of her rum and coke, and sliding off the bar stool she smooths her little black dress down her thighs and as she moves to brush past Alexander snags her hand.

“Where you going sweet heart?” his tone is light and flirtatious and even though she’s pissed, it manages to jump start a need in her she isn’t sure will ever go away.

“Home,” she snaps the answer dragging her arm free from his hold, and to her credit she manages to make it halfway across the clubhouse before he frees himself from the crow eater, and taking her by the arm he leads her outside.

“What’s going on with you?” he demands when he has her pinned up against the wall of the clubhouse and the look of disbelief on her face is not one she can hide.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t come out on my own free night to watch you flirt with any tits with let legs who crosses your path,” her temper licks up hot to match his own, and she doesn’t care.

“Oh come on now baby, that’s how I met you,” he laughs but it’s short lived when she shoves him back a full step.

“Fuck you Trager,” she hisses before turning to march towards her car.

“Hey, hey, I’m not done talking to you!” he yells at her and turning she lifts her middle finger up into the air.

“Yeah well I’m done talking to you.”

::

She took her time, allowing herself to feel every ounce of anger and once it drains she’s filled with a familiar emptiness and loneliness that she can’t describe. She doesn’t know why; she should have never expected anything different from the likes of Alexander Trager. She knew he was trouble from the very beginning but she pursued anyways, allowing herself to be dragged deeper and deeper into his world.

It never should have happened; but she couldn’t help herself. Maybe it had to do with turning thirty and not recognizing her life or herself anymore, or maybe she was just fulfilling that every girl loves a bad boy stereo type, she doesn’t know.

But it ends. Now.

She wraps herself in a towel, winding her hair into a messy bun on her head as she listens to the bath tub run, and taking her time she lights candle after candle watching the flames flicker to life casting shadows, and dropping the towel her foot hovers above the water when she hears the pounding on the door.

“Fuck,” she groans, eyes rolling to the ceiling as she snaps the water off, and while the pounding continues she blows out each candle, and shrugging into her robe she walks to the front door. She doesn’t bother looking to see who it is, she already knows.

“Alexander,” her tone is icy as she pulls open the door and without asking he brushes right past her. “Please, come in.”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Alexander demands turning to look at her. His face is twisted with anger and confusion and all she can do is offer a short laugh of disbelief.

“I’m sorry, I don’t feel like playing your game tonight,” she spits and when he takes a step towards her she steps back shaking her head. “I mean it Alexander. I’m done. This half in half out bullshit isn’t working for me anymore.”

“You knew what this was when we started,” he says stuffing shaky hands into his pocket.

“You’re right, I did know, which is why I left, because I’m done,” she says leveling her gaze at him.

“Oh come on, you ran off knowing I’d follow you…”

“What you choose to do is on you. I didn’t want you to follow me. If I wanted to keep this going I would have stayed and put that little blonde bimbo in her place, but I don’t have the energy nor drive to bother with it anymore. Why is that so hard for you to understand? I’m done. I’m done wasting days off watching you drink yourself stupid and slobber over anything that looks your way. I’m done worrying about you anytime you go on a run and do God only knows what to put yourself and everyone around you in danger. I’m done Alexander.”

“Maggie…”

She ignores the way he says her name as she pulls open the front door, and taking one last steadying breath for strength she lifts her face to his.

“Good bye Alexander,” she hates that her voice wavers but drawing on a resolve she didn’t know she was capable of she squares her shoulders as he starts to walk out.

“You’ll come back,” he murmurs as he looks at her one last time before stepping out in the darkness.

“Don’t hold your breath.”

Miss You Already

Author’s Note: This is a Filip “Chibs” Telford imagine based on Thinking of You by Christian Kane as requested by the lovely @traceyaudette as well as imagine number 3 for Music Mania Week. I hope that you all enjoy! This imagine is rated T. (Gif does not belong to me, found on Giphy so all credit to it’s creator!)


Miss You Already

-XX-
Well I know they say all good things must come to some kind of ending
We were so damn good I guess we never stood a chance
Go on & find what you been missing and when the highway’s tired of listening
You’ll see I’m not that easy to forget

And when a new moon shines through your window
Or you hear a sad song on the radio
And you don’t know why but you just start to cry
Or you’re driving round on a sunny day and out of nowhere comes the pouring rain
Then a memory hits you right out of the blue
That’s just me, thinking of you
-XX-

Filip’s eyes narrow behind his sunglasses, and slowly he lifts the cigarette to his lips; and taking a steady drag he watches her. He’s watched her a million times over the years, so much so that he swears he knows her movements better than she does herself. Which is why he can tell by the slope of her shoulders, and the way she rubs at the back of her neck that she doesn’t want to be doing what she’s doing.

But she does it.

She packs, slowly dismantling the life they’d built in those walls, and it hurts. Oh, the pain runs deep, but rather than walking through the door and begging her to stay he just sits back and watches, hating that he already misses her.

-XX-
I’m not goin’ to try to stop you 
Doesn’t mean that I don’t want to
If I know you you’ve already made up your mind
So go on & go if you’re really leaving
Put a million miles between us
But you’ll still feel me like I’m right there at your side 

And when a new moon shines through your window
Or you hear a sad song on the radio
And you don’t know why but you just start to cry
Or you’re driving round on a sunny day
And out of nowhere comes the pouring rain
Then a memory hits you right out of the blue
That’s just me, thinking of you
And I’m thinkin’ about the roads your on
I’m thinkin’ about you comin’ home
I’m a wonderin’ if you’ve got your radio on
-XX-

It’s been months since she put Charming in her rearview, and though she’s found herself settling in just fine, every so often something will remind her of home.

The way Charlie chases after girls at the bar makes her think of Tig.

Bailey’s mother hen tendencies has Gemma written all over it.

And then there’s Kalum…everything about him reminds her of Filip and while she finds some comfort in that she also finds immense pain. She misses him even though she won’t admit it, instead she keeps that sadness to herself using it to keep her company when she goes home alone every night.

“Earth to Jennifer, hello,” Kalum’s voice pulls her back to the present and offering a soft smile she takes a step back from him. She knows he was expecting to be invited in after their ‘date’, hell she was planning on asking him in, but she can’t, not now. It wouldn’t be fair to him, or her, not when the memory of her last relationship hangs so heavy in the air for her.

“Kalum,” she murmurs his name with a shake of her head.

“This isn’t going to happen, is it?” Kalum asks reaching up to brush the hair from her face.

“I’m sorry…”

“It’s okay, I don’t mind the wait,” he says it softly as he walks away and even though she smiles she knows he’s in for a long wait.

::

The line rings; once, twice, three times until finally voicemail picks up. She listens to his voice, eyes closing to bring his face to the surface of her memory. Her fingers itch to touch him, to trace the lines of face, to pillow her head on his chest, wrapping herself up in him.

“Hey, it’s me. I uh-I know it’s been a while,” her voice thickens to the point that she holds the phone out away from her so she can clear her throat. “I just, I wanted to say hi, and to tell you I miss you, Filip, I miss you, every day.”

-XX-
And when you find your way to another town
And someone tries to lay you down
And a feeling hits you right out of the blue
Well it’s me, thinking of you
It’s just me, thinking of you
-XX-

For What It’s Worth

Originally posted by skins121

Author’s Note: This is a Juan-Carlos “Juice” Ortiz imagine based on Don’t by Ed Sheeran as requested by the lovely @winterladybr, as well as imagine number 1 for Music Mania Week! I hope you all enjoy. This imagine is rated M as it’s slightly smutty, you have been warned!


For What It’s Worth

-XX-
I met this girl late last year
She said, “Don’t you worry if I disappear.”
I told her I’m not really looking for another mistake
I called an old friend thinking that the trouble would wait
But then I jump right in
A week later returned
I reckon she was only looking for a lover to burn
But I gave her my time for two or three nights
Then I put it on pause ‘til the moment was right
I went away for months until our paths crossed again
She told me, “I was never looking for a friend.”
Maybe you could swing by my room around 10:00
Baby, bring a lemon and a bottle of gin
We’ll be in between the sheets 'til the late AM
Baby, if you wanted me then you should’ve just said
She’s singing
Ah lahmlahlah

Don’t fuck with my love
That heart is so cold
All over my home
I don’t wanna know that babe
Ah lahmlahlah
Don’t fuck with my love
I told her she knows
Take aim and reload
I don’t wanna know that babe
Ah lahmlahlah
-XX-

She’s running a towel over her hair when she hears the knock on the door and with a smile curving her lips she pulls open the door. Juan stands on the other side, a bottle in one hand, a duffle bag over the opposite shoulder, and with no words spoken between them she snags him by the front of his shirt and pulls him inside.

She makes quick work of his clothes, fingers feasting on his skin, and even though she’d admit it to no one, she’s missed him. She’s needed him. It was never supposed to be anything more than a fling, something to fill the time and space between breaks from Patrick, but somehow he became something more.

He lifts her up so her legs wrap tight around his waist and settling onto the edge of the bed he buries himself into her, and all thoughts of Patrick and life outside of the four walls that surround them disappear. In fact, all she can do is feel; the weight of Juan’s hands on her hips, his fingers digging into her skin, teeth scraping down her throat.

“Juan…” his name is a whisper he swallows when he closes his mouth over hers.

-XX-
For a couple weeks I
Only wanna see her
We drink away the days with a take-away pizza
Before a text message was the only way to reach her
Now she’s staying at my place and loves the way I treat her
Singing out Aretha
All over the track like a feature
And never wants to sleep, I guess that I don’t want to either
But me and her we make money the same way
Four cities, two planes the same day
And those shows have never been what it’s about
But maybe we’ll go together and just figure it out
I’d rather put on a film with you and sit on the couch
But we should get on a plane
Or we’ll be missing it now
Wish I’d have written it down
The way that things played out
When she was kissing him
How? I was confused about
She should figure it out while I’m sat here singing
Ah lahmlahlah


Don’t fuck with my love
That heart is so cold
All over my home
I don’t wanna know that babe
Ah lahmlahlah
Don’t fuck with my love
I told her she knows
Take aim and reload
I don’t wanna know that babe
Ah lahmlahlah
-XX-

Her eyes flutter open slowly focusing on Juan’s back and with a smile she sits up, hands coming up to circle him and when his muscles bunch at just her touch she knows something is wrong.

“Aren’t you tired Bella?” Juan asks shrugging her off turning to look at her. “We’ve been together, for weeks…”

“What are you talking about?” she asks, eyes rolling when he holds up her phone. “Shit…”

“Where you going to tell me you had plans to meet Patrick when you were done with me?” he demands as she slides out of bed, and shaking her head she dresses quickly.

“Honestly? No,” she says and she hates the look of betrayal on his face. “It’s not like we’re together Juan. Do you tell me about every girl you sleep with?”

“That’s different…”

“Why, because it’s you getting off?” she demands.

“Because I don’t love any of them!” he erupts and taking a step back she tries to comprehend what he just said.

“Yo-you can’t love me…this wasn’t supposed to be that,” panic fills her as Juan steps closer to her and when he cups her face she can see the honesty of his words in shining in his eyes. “Oh Juan…”

“I love you Bella…don’t-don’t go back to him. He can’t make you happy…” his voice is soft as her hands circle his wrists and shaking her head she tries to get out of his hold.

“Juan…I’m sorry…” she gathers her bag and when her hand closes over the door knob Juan speaks up.

“Good bye,” he sounds broken and because she knows she wouldn’t be able to bring herself to walk away if she turned around she pulls open the door and walks away.

-XX-
[Knock, knock, knock] on my hotel door
I don’t even know if she knows what for
She was crying on my shoulder
I already told ya
Trust and respect is what we do this for
I never intended to be next
But you didn’t need to take him to bed that’s all
And I never saw him as a threat
Until you disappeared with him to have sex of course
It’s not like we were both on tour
We were staying on the same fucking hotel floor
And I wasn’t looking for a promise or commitment
But it was never just fun and I thought you were different
This is not the way you realize what you wanted
It’s a bit too much, too late if I’m honest
All this time God knows I’m singing
Ah lahmlahlah

Don’t fuck with my love
That heart is so cold
All over my home
I don’t wanna know that babe
Ah lahmlahlah
Don’t fuck with my love
I told her she knows
Take aim and reload
I don’t wanna know that babe
Ah lahmlahlah
-XX-

Her hands shake as she stares at the door, and blowing a breath out she gives a couple soft raps against the wood. She’s seen Juan only once since their good bye and it’s been months since then. Months of silence; both guilty as neither of them were willing to budge, even a little bit.

Until know as she stands, soaking wet from the uncharacteristic rain storm hitting California waiting to see if he’ll answer the door.

As is on cue the door swings open to reveal Juan naked to the waist and to his credit his eyes widen in surprise before turning cool.

“Bella,” his tone is icy as he stares at her.

“Hey,” she pulls her sleeves down over her hands, trying to find the right words to say. But what can she say? She can see it in his eyes that he still carries their goodbye. She feels vulnerable under his gaze so much so that she drops hers eyes and wonders if she made a big mistake by coming to him.

::

He stares at her. It’s been months since the last time he saw her. It was completely by chance that they ran into one another at that party all those months ago and the memory flashes before his eyes.

‘Look who just walked in,’ Tig’s voice drags Juice’s attention from his drinking to follow his brother’s gaze. His stomach falls when he sees her. Bella. She’s dressed in the black dress he’s always loved seeing in her, her hair a tumble of black curls pushed over one shoulder, and she’s with him.

Patrick.

‘Son of a bitch,’ he mutters when she catches his eye and then he notices it; the flicker of happiness in her eyes when she sees him.

He took his time weaving through the crowd and with her back to him he takes her hand, giving a gentle pull. And before she can ask what’s going he’s pulling through the sea of people and outside.

‘What are you doing here?’ they speak in unison and rather than answer they just stare at each other. He’s the first to move but she isn’t far behind and then they are wrapped up in one another, all grasping hands and feasting lips.

‘Stop…stop, Juan, stop,’ Bella says taking a step away from him, her chest heaving as she smooths her hands over her dress. ‘I can’t do this.’

‘It looks like you could do it just fine…’

‘That’s not the point. Of course, I could do it, but I shouldn’t. I-I’m getting married.’ She sounds helpless as she holds her left hand up and taking a step back he stares at the ring circling her finger.

‘What? To him, to Patrick? You’ve got to be kidding me, Bella,’ he’s in disbelief as he tries to grasp onto some sort of understanding.

‘I’m sorry, I never meant…’

‘Never meant what Bella? To hurt me, I know that, doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt like hell though,’ he says as her feet carry her backwards, words trailing off as she turns towards the door. ‘For what it’s worth I think you’re making a mistake marrying him.’ He watches her shoulders tense, just for a moment and turning her head he sees the ghost of a sad smile on her lips.

‘For what it’s worth, I wish it was you…’

::

He’s drawn back to the present moment, and as much as he wants to gather her in, to smooth the look of brokenness on her face away, he can’t. For his own sake, he just can’t so without another word he closes the door. His hands brace against the wood, bunching into fists as he fights against the need to pull the door open and gather her in.

“For what it’s worth, I miss you,” her voice breaks on the other side, and squeezing his eyes shut he takes a deep breath.

“For what it’s worth, so do I…”

-XX-
Don’t fuck with my love
That heart is so cold
All over my home
I don’t wanna know that babe
Ah lahmlahlah
Don’t fuck with my love
I told her she knows
Take aim and reload
I don’t wanna know that babe
Ah lahmlahlah
-XX-