What matters is not to allow my whole life to be dominated by what is going on inside me. That has to be kept subordinate one way or another. What I mean is: one must not let oneself be completely disabled by just one thing, however bad; don’t let it impede the great stream of life that flows through you. I have the feeling of something secret deep inside me that no one knows about.
Etty Hillesum, fom a diary entry featured in An Interrupted Life: the Diaries, 1941-1943 and Letters from Westerbork
“Y/n!” His voice echos through the wall, it made you jump from the spot you were at on your bed. Your hair a slight mess from against the pillow, and your eyes puffy from how tried you have been. Your job had been pushing you and pushing you leading to late nights and longs mornings.
“Yes Jin?” You call out following where his voice was, as you step into the kitchen he looks around. Dishes piled up making you tilit you head. swearing you had done them.
“What is this?” He asks pointing to the mess of the kitchen you frown as your hand reachs to run through your hair.“You have one job, one that I plead is just with you to do the dishes. Just to clean them so when I get home I can make dinner.”
“Jin, I’m sorry I swear I did. Okay I’ll do them now. Okay?” You grumble going to the sink only making him slam his hand down onto the counter
“That’s not the fucking point Y/n! I wanted them done before I got home, from a long day at the studio. Being an idol is not easy Y/n. So I can make you and I dinner. But you know your lazy ass doesn’t even kn-”
“Lazy! I’m lazy?! I work 12 hour shifts daily and the past week over time due to my company and another company joining and us being under fucking stafed. So sorry Jin, I get that being an idol is hard but it’s not the only tiring job out there!” You push past him, and walk to the door, your hand pulling shoes over your feet.
“Y/n!” He yells after you a worried look on his face.
“Nope.” You grumble opening and slamming the door walking away.
“No Yoongi it isn’t like you have a girlfriend.” You grumble under your breath, his head snaps to you with a raised eyebrow. He had been working in BTS comback none stop which is perfectly fine. But now that ‘Her’ is out you believed he would’ve slowed down and actually spend time at home, with you. But here he was sitting at his computer, his fingers typing away and you sitting on the couch picking your at your fingernails.
“What was that?” He grumbles making me glare as you look back at him.
“What do you think?” You snapped making him spin around in his chair and look at you.
“I’m working. You understand that, don’t you?” He pleaded with you, his eyes looking at yours as you shrugged. “Y/n, come on,you know this is important to me!”
“So happy to know where I stand.” You mumble standing up, opening the door you hear his chair fall onto the ground.
“You walk out I swear to go-”
“Isn’t like your home at all to come through with your threat. So their just like your promise, empty and full of lies.”
You had been waiting for him to come home from practice, which should’ve ended an hour ago. Which ut did due to the group chat blowing up with memes and lame jokes from Jungkook and Jin. But you sunshine still has not come bounding through the door, and when he did he was sweating his hair sticking to his forehead. “Hobi where were you?” You question him, his dark eyes look at you then to the floor. His dance bag dropping to the floor as he shrugs.
“Practice,Y/n.” He mumbled his body moving past yours, your grew worried when he bumped into you and winced. “Fuck.”
“Oh honey, let me he-” he cut you off with a growl, his eyes holding a cold glare at you.
“No, I don’t need help. With my dance, or with anything. God just leave me the fuck alone.”
“I just wanted to help.” You whisper ,your head bowing making him scoff.
“Just go away god!” His eyes watch you, a cold stare making a shiver run through your body.
“Fine.” You numble turn on your heel, and walking out the door slamming it behind you.
Spinning around in his work chair you couldn’t help but click your tongue. He was busy with memorizing the lyrics and you thought bringing him dinner would be a nice Jester since he probably wouldn’t be coming home. But before you had grabbed you things to join him, he texted the grop cjat, with you in it and was ranting about how needed space, the boy didnt even hint at him typing and sending it to the group chat with you in it. So it was no surprise when he came into his studio his face went fom joyfuy and full of excitement do confusion and annoyance.
“What are you doing here?” He asked, when you grabbed the bag of food, a single boxof rice and some pork and tossed veggies his smile grew again. “Oh, thank you babe.” You smile at him then grab another bag.
“Change of clothes, blanket, some shampoo and bathing stuff so you don’t have to steal Suga-oppas, a few notebooks.” His eues widen as you stand up.
“Your not staying?"his question made you raise your eyebrow at him.
"Do you want me to?” His face fellll as he shook his head no. 'The why ask?“
"Because you usally do, and I was hoping you werent because I love you but Ive fel-”
“Sufficated? Trapped, yesh I know, wrong group chat by the way.” Your words made his eyes widen as he went to grab your hand.
“I know, but I did.” You whisper made his step back as you push past him
“I love you.” He mumbled making a tears fall.
“Do you love being with me though.” And you walked out his studio making his heart break.
“Jimin just stop!” You snapped as he tried to push himself to workout, his body falling to the ground. That dudnt even stop him, his eyes glare at you as he stand and starts to do it again. “You know what fine, faint for exhaustion and dehydration for all I care!”
“Can you support me for once?!” He growls stopping his body turning to you as he limped over the sorness of his muscles finally getting to him.
“Not when your destroying yourself. God Park Jimin.” You say as he stands in front of you.
“I’m not destroying myself, you’re just holding me back!” At this you turn on your heel and walk out making him go and try to chace after you onlynto fall to the ground calling for you.
“Stop being a child!” Your voice screamed at him, his body sitting down on your shared bed. He had chosen to hide you cell phone and laptop which you needed due to a very important project you were doing in s group.
“Baby I gave them back don’t be all pissy about it.” His words made you roll your eyes as you cross your arms.
“I couldve been done with my part, and spent the rest of the night with you and actually get some sleep. But you had to be a little brat and waste all of my time!” He let’s out a laugh quickly covering it up with a cough. You scoff and turn around and walk out of the room.
“Now who’s being a child!”
“At least I know when to stop being one!” And slam with the front door echoing in his ears.
“Can you not be a child for once.” He snaps making you jump back,the rest of the boys looking at him with wide eyes.
“Kook she was just laughing.” Jin spoke putting a hand on your back. Jungkook rolled his eyes and turned back to his video game.
“Yeah, I know. It’s her trying to be cite laugh and it-”
“Shut up Jeon Jungkook.” You snap, crossing your arms, your lower lip jutting out naturally.
“See now you’re doing the stupid pouty lip thing.” He grumbled making you glare at him, he rolls his eyes at you pausing his game.
“Piss off you asshole.” You say standing ip, his eyes watching as you walk out of the dorms.
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In all this chaos and misery I follow my own rhythm, I am thankful that I can still immerse myself in the things that matter to me. It is not that I am cutting myself off from all the suffering around me, nor is it a dulling of the senses. I take everything in and store it away, but I go my own way.
Etty Hillesum, fom a diary entry featured in An Interrupted Life: the Diaries, 1941-1943 and Letters from Westerbork
A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex) : Playful. Myabe after a while you’d want to get dressed and finish some of the work you never had the chance to because of some unexpected events ;) but he has different plans “Don’t even think about leaving this bed, my Queen”; will shamelessly pick you up and and get you back on the bed then takle you with kisses.
B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) : The line that goes down your back. When you change your clothes he’d embrace you in a back hug and trace his finger up and down your back. It gets his mouth watering every time.
C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person) : Likes the feeling of cumming inside you. He’d look you in the eyes, arms rested on his elbows as your lips part when you feel him filling you, and the sound of your moan would send him into oblivion.
D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) : Riding a horse with you in front of him always gets him super hard. All that movement and the closeness of your bodies tightly pressed to eachother and the friction he feels “Careful not to fall milady” that’s what he said, what his dick said was “You keep pushing back that ass on me, yas”.
E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?): Is experienced, no need of explaning it. Knows exactly what he’s doing and does it very well ;)
F = Favourite Position (This goes without sayng. Will probably include a visual): Missionary for him is the most intimate one, because he can have a look at your beautiful face and lift your legs, put them on his shoulders if he wants to, or turn your leg to the side; generally likes it because it can be versatile and bcs of the closeness. + 69 is something he finds very fun and sexy! You have this playful competition in which after a while one of you always gets the other to throw their head back and moan the shit out of themselves.
G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc) : Can be goody in bed, likes playfully slapping you on the ass and even biting it if he’s been eating you out after doggie style.
H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.) : Has hair down there, though one time he saw you shaving and he was curious because of how smooth you were afterwards and he really liked it, so two nights after you found out that “You shaved?” - “Well I wanted to try it as well!”. So now if he’s not too lazy he’ll shave too, but only if he’s not too lazy.
I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…): Is romantic with a hint of spiciness! Makes sure you feel like his Queen in and out of the sheets.
J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon) : “I have something far better under my arm” - “Only if you’re good to me ;)” - “now wHEN was I not, woman?”
K = Kink (One or more of their kinks) : It’s a game you two like two play: You like being the one on top once in a while, so he let you do what you want to him and you tied him up and straddled him, your flowly nightgown still on you. You were mercilessly teasing him, rubbing your wettness on his hard shaft “Take this dress off or I’ll tear it apart”- “Oh but you can’t my King, you’re still tied up”.
L = Location
(Favourite places to do the do): Right in front of the fireplace, laying naked on fur and blankets, feeling the heat of the dancing fire warm up your bodies, the light illuminating you; skin looking soft, glistening and golden, you were like Gods on Earth.
M = Motivation
(What turns them on, gets them going) : Pleasing his Queen turns him on more than anything. Showering you with love and affection. Being the one to make your hair messy, the one whose body glides on yours, the one to make you arch your back in ecstasy. That’s what get’s him going.
N = NO
(Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs) : Manipulation and lack of personal opinion and drive. Robb loves people with fire in their hearth, ambitious, loving, not afraid to speak up when they have to. Someone who’s violating all of those values is a person he wants nothing to do with.
O = Oral
(Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc) : Likes giving as much as he likes receiving. “I want to kiss your lips, but those between your hips” ;) (is cheesy and smug and he knows it!)
P = Pace
(Are they fats and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.) : Depends on the night, one night he’d go slow, he’d kiss you fom head to toe, will move his body slowly on yours, feeling every part of you on his skin; Other nights he’d crash on you like the waves of an angry sea, would bite your neck and shoulders, would leave some red handprints on your hips from gripping.
Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.): If you two manage to sneak out somehow, then hell yes!
R = Risk
(Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.) : Your wish is his command. If you want to try something new, he’d be more than happy to help ;)
S = Stamina
(How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…) Lasts long enough so both of you you’d finish. There’s always room for self improvement.
T = Toy
(Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?): Hasn’t used any toys before, won’t mind if you want to try some out! (Even on him!)
U = Unfair
(how much they like to tease) : Robb’s all about pleasing! But… he has this guilty pleasure of his and that would be gliding his dick on your slit a few times before going in; it always gets you so impatient because right when you think he’s going to do it and you move your hips up to meet his, he just pulls back!
V = Volume
(How loud they are, what sounds they make) : He’s a moaner, and pretty vocal, but his voice gets lower and deeper when he moans and it you just dig your nails deeper in the skin of his back, because Good Lord, that voice!
W = Wild Card
(Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice) : Has very expressive and daring eyes & very often he lookes at you at those fancy dinners in a very very inappropriate way, and you perfectly know what it means.
X = X-Ray
(Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words) : You never thought a man’s cock can be actually beautiful, but there lies the naked proof! And he has a really nice butt too, sometimes you slap him lightly on the ass when he walks around naked after sex. “Glad you like what you see then!”
Y = Yearning
(How high is their sex drive?) : He loves having sex, most of all he loves having sex with you, because it’s more than just sex, it’s fun and loving and playful and emotional! So he would have sex with you at almost any time. Though he’d love to cuddle you some more too!
Z = ZZZ
(… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) : Sometimes he won’t even go to sleep, he’d wait for you to fall asleep and then he’d finish whatever he had to do. Will glance at you quite oftenly, lips always curving up in a heart melting smile.