*fn

  • me: so starkiller base is a small, snow covered planet orbiting tightly to a pretty large star
  • jj: correct
  • me: but it's covered in snow
  • jj: ...yes
  • me: but like the whole planet is covered in snow. and it doesn't have seasons? it doesn't have an equator? does it get hot? when the band around the middle is carved out, does that change the velocity of the planet? the seasons it has? wouldn't the snow melt when starkiller is being charged and fill the carved part with water? there's oxygen on this planet because they fight on the surface, so it has an atmosphere? a magnetic field? how do the trees stay green and alive if there are no seasons? are there animals? rivers? mountains? what about the watershed system on starkiller? when is it spring?
  • jj: you know... the movie is more about-
  • me: if the entire core of the planet is carved out to be filled with energy from the sun, how does it spin? how did the first order carve out the entire core of a planet? with out a metal core, the magnetic field is gone, throwing off the orbit, and exposing the entire base to harmful radiation-
  • jj: uh...
  • bill nye: nice
  • neil degrasse tyson: nice
If Nick Spencer wrote Star Wars 8
  • Finn: *shoots Rebels and knocks Poe Dameron to the ground*
  • Poe: "What are you doing Finn?!"
  • Finn: "Oh, you didn't know? I never left the First Order. Long live Snoke."
  • *Finn blasts Poe with his blaster, killing him*
  • *cut to Kylo Ren's quarters where he and Rey are in bed, naked*
  • Rey: "Oh Kylo, Han actually believed we were strangers when actually, we were lovers the whole time."
  • Kylo: "I know, this affair totally didn't come out of nowhere. Also, you were very convincing in trying to kill me during our duel."
  • Rey: "Thanks. I mean, I have to be a good actress because I was a Sith Lord the WHOLE TIME. Let me repeat that, the WHOLE TIME."
  • *cut to Luke*
  • Luke: "Leia is such a fool. She thinks I'm a Jedi. But the truth is...I'm the true Emperor! Palpatine was my apprentice the whole time, I am the true Sith Lord."
  • Stormtrooper: "Uh, sir, this is kinda going against decades of canon-I MEAN history. Like, how are you the Emperor if you weren't born during the Clone Wars-"
  • *Luke force chokes the trooper*